You could share your own story. You could sit beside me on the floor of the Sagamore Ballroom, and you could describe the sexual brokenness in your biography:
- Your parents always wished that you'd been born female.
- You find friendships with women more satisfying than relationships with men.
- You don't enjoy sex with your husband.
- You were exposed to porn on the school bus.
- You've struggled with masturbation for years.
- You've been abused by a leader you trusted.
You're not the only one who has been impacted by the effects of sin. There's not a person or place that hasn't felt the aftershocks of the fall—so while it may feel safer to focus on how the culture struggles with sexuality, we can't ignore how it's impacted our hearts as well.
This was one of the major themes of Revive Our Hearts' preconference, Gender & Sexuality: Clarity in an Age of Confusion. In the opening remarks, we were reminded: this is not an "us vs. them" issue. It's an "us" issue.
We have been born into a broken world.
We need God to help us to experience freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.
How do we experience His transforming work in this area? Here's some of the wise advice shared this afternoon:
- Recognize that Jesus is the foremost speaker and teacher we need to turn to for answers on gender and sexuality.
There's only one place to begin—on our knees. God has given us an incredible resource in the leaders who spoke today. But they are not the authority we need most when it comes to complex issues of gender and sexuality. We need the Lord's wisdom and guidance and hope.
Before the first message began, Dannah Gresh invited everyone in the room to kneel beside their chairs. Would you take a moment and do the same? Her prayer was simple, and yours can be too: Lord, would You write on my heart the truth about gender and sexuality?
- Trust that God's design is not just right. It's good.
You may have grown up in church learning about God's design. You believe that God is the Creator, and He made the decision for you to be born female. But maybe you've never felt particularly feminine. Maybe you've never seen any lasting benefits to being born a woman. Maybe you don't resent or deny your gender—you just don't see it as a gift.
As Mary Kassian ended her message, she pointed to Romans 1:21, which says, "For though they knew God, they did not glorify him as God or show gratitude." Could that be said of you?
"Each one of you," Mary said, "has received an exceedingly precious gift from God. He knit you together in your mother's womb piece by piece. We live in a culture and a time when it isn't always easy to be a woman—we see women degraded and abused and oppressed, we see people downtrodden because of their gender . . . Even still, God wants us to be thankful for the gift of sexuality and gender. It is His gift to us. And He wants us to be grateful, to recognize His authority, and to glorify Him with it."
As God transforms your life in this area, may He help you see that the story that He is writing through your femininity is beautiful.
- Leave your sexual sin at the foot of the cross.
You don't need anyone to point out the sexual sin you struggle with the most. You already feel that nagging sense of conviction that never seems to go away. Why? Juli Slattery says it's because "God won't let us remain complacent to our own sexual brokenness."
Acknowledge it tonight, and leave it at the foot of the cross. "There are no 'worse' sins. All of them separate us from God," Dannah Gresh said. "But sexual sin is a sin against our own bodies. It hurts and wounds us like no other."
Do you believe you'll ever actually experience freedom in this area of struggle? Ephesians 3:20 says that He is "able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works in us." Decide tonight to repent of the sexual sins that have held you captive—with full confidence God is able to do more than you ever thought possible.
- Watch God use your testimony of brokenness to compassionately offer His hope to others.
You may feel shame about parts of your story. "The enemy will take our sin and bloody our hearts so that we don't unleash our testimonies," Dannah Gresh said. "But the affliction that Satan used to wound your heart will be what He uses to pour comfort into the lives of others."
As God heals you, He will use your redemption story to give hope to others. “Your biography will always have brokenness in it," said Rosaria Butterfield. "But in Christ, your nature never will.” In Him, you are redeemed. You are healed. You are free.
What story is your life telling about gender and sexuality? Your testimony may begin with brokenness, but that's not where it has to end. As Jesus writes healing on this chapter of your life, may His gracious, transformative power be the story you delight to tell.
Transgender to Transformed by Laura Perry
The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield
True Woman 101 by Mary A. Kassian and Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth
It’s Great to Be a Girl by Dannah Gresh
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