Lord, please just give me a baby. We’ve been waiting for so long.
I would really like to be married, Father. Please bring the right man into my life. I’m tired of being alone.
God, I hurt all the time. Please take the pain away.
Please work in my husband’s heart. Help him to forsake his sin and repent.
Father, please work in my broken relationships. The hurt seems almost unbearable sometimes.
Lord, my son is so lonely at church. Would You please give him a friend who will help him pursue Christ?
“Who among you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? . . . If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him.” (Matthew 7:9, 11)
In His most famous of sermons, Jesus tells us to pray for the things that weigh on our hearts, assuring us that the heavenly Father won’t give us a stone when we ask for bread. But sometimes that bread just seems so long in coming.
How could a good Father withhold such a good and necessary thing from His child for so long? After all, our earthly, sinful fathers would never ask their child to starve when they had the means and ability to provide food. How are we to respond in these seasons of wanting and waiting? What should our prayers look like?
Like you, I’ve done a fair bit of praying while waiting. Here are a few things God continues to teach me to pray while waiting for Him to answer.
Pray with Open Hands
Usually our desires are not sinful; what we’re praying for are good things: a baby, a husband, a restored relationship, a healthy body. Each of those is a good gift when God chooses to give it. And certainly, desiring to become a parent or a spouse or for chronic pain to be healed is not evidence of a sinful desire.
However, our wicked hearts can easily twist these benign cravings into rebellious idols. So, as you’re praying, ask God to give you a heart willing to accept a yes or a no. Will you still praise Him even if He doesn’t answer your prayer in exactly the way you’re asking? Maybe your prayer could sound something like this:
Father, You know the desire of my heart. You know how badly I’d like to have _______________. You’re capable of all things, and I know that You can do this in a heartbeat. But even if You choose not to, I know that You’re still good and that You love me. Keep me from doubt and idolatry if You don’t give this to me. You’re more precious than this thing that I want. Give me a heart of contentment whether You say yes or no.
Pray for God’s Sanctifying Work
James tells his readers to “consider it a great joy” when we experience various trials (James 1:2); and Paul exhorts us to rejoice in tribulation (Rom. 5:3). Why? Because suffering produces eternal fruit.
Suffering, Paul says, brings about endurance, proven character and hope (Rom. 5:3–4). James tells us that through suffering we’ll be made complete (James 1:3–4). Jesus teaches the same thing, using the metaphor of a vineyard:
“Every branch in me that does not produce fruit he removes, and he prunes every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce more fruit.” (John 15:2)
Pruning can’t be much fun for a branch. Who wants to have its limbs lopped off? But a good gardener knows that skillful pruning will eventually produce a more bountiful harvest. Sometimes this pruning looks like not getting what we prayed for. Our good Gardener knows exactly what we need to produce eternal fruit—and, though we dislike it, sometimes what we need is to wait.
Abraham waited for a century before fathering the son of promise.
Joseph waited for nearly twenty years as a slave and a prisoner before seeing God fulfill his dreams.
Moses waited for forty years before God called him out of the desert to lead the children of Israel.
Joshua waited for forty years in the wilderness before leading Israel to the promised land.
David waited for decades after being anointed king before sitting on the throne.
In each of these cases, God shaped His servants while they were waiting. He undoubtedly wants to do the same for you.
Lord, as I wait, help me to remember that You want more than just my happiness. You want me to look like Your Son. Give me a heart ready and willing to change. Renew my mind day by day to want what You want, to love what You love, to hate what You hate, and to pursue the good that You want for me. As I wait for this unmet desire, please sanctify me. Help me not to waste this season, but prune me now so that I can bear more fruit for You.
Pray for a Heart for Others
Unmet desires can give us tunnel vision. What begins as a harmless wish can quickly turn into a tyrant trying to overtake every aspect of our lives. Before we know it, every prayer, every conversation, and every waking thought is devoted to this thing that we’re longing for. To combat this mindset, while you wait pray for ways to serve and bless others. We’re called to love our neighbors as ourselves even in seasons of disappointment or emptiness. Perhaps your prayer could be something like this:
Father, give me eyes to see the needs and hurts of others even while I wait for You to act in my own life. Give me compassion for the hurting. Help me to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. May I consider how I can make use of my resources to bless others rather than waiting for them to bless me. As Christ knelt and washed His disciples’ feet just hours before He went to the cross, may I, even in my far lesser suffering, find ways to serve my neighbor and show the love of the Savior to those who need it most.
Pray for What Your Heart Desires
As you pray with an open hand and for a changed heart and eyes to see the needs around you, consider one more thing: pray for what you want.
This advice comes from none other than Jesus Himself. He gave His followers twin parables to emphasize that they should pray without giving up (Luke 18:1). He told the story of the man banging on his friend’s door at all hours of the night until finally his bleary-eyed friend relented and opened the door. He also told of a widow’s importunate pleas before an unjust judge to whom she relentlessly brought her petition until he finally gave in.
These parables teach us not about a lazy or unjust God but about our need to pray persistently. On the night He was arrested, Jesus made it clear to His disciples that asking for what you want is not only acceptable but expected.
“Truly I tell you, anything you ask the Father in my name, he will give you. Until now you have asked for nothing in my name. Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete.” (John 16:23–24)
If your unmet desire is not sinful, by all means, continue to pray for it. Don’t give up, but trust God’s perfect, albeit often mysterious, timing. He knows what He’s doing, and He won’t make you wait one second longer than necessary. Neither will He withhold a truly good thing from you (Psalm 84:11).
Stay on your knees, trusting the Lord’s providence, submitting to Him, and willing to be conformed to His image. He may say no or wait. But He will not give you a stone when you’ve asked for bread.
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