In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not slaves to excessive drinking. They are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children,to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands, so that God’s word will not be slandered.
—Titus 2:3–5
An intentional Titus 2 relationship is often long-term, where you and your friend develop a friendship that continues throughout different stages of life. But some mentoring relationships involve natural seasons of mentoring that have a beginning and an end. How will you know the difference?
When you start meeting, it’s a good idea to set a date in the future when you will take time to evaluate. This gives you and your friend a chance to prayerfully consider whether you are meeting together too much, not often enough, etc. This is also a way to offer comfortable closure to the relationship if needed.
You can also do periodic checkups, asking questions like, “Is this relationship still meeting a need?” or “Do we need to make adjustments?” Life circumstances continually shift, and that can sometimes dictate changes that need to be made.
If you’re at a point when you’ve given your friend all you can or she is no longer interested, then you might need to make some changes. Together, celebrate the blessings God has given through your special relationship and agree when it’s time to move on. When you sense she is ready, encourage your friend to start pouring herself into another woman’s life.
No matter if your lives connect for a short time or a long while, continue to be her friend and offer to be there if she needs you. A true Titus 2 relationship is never completely over. It just changes as your friend starts to depend more and more on Christ.
Don’t Overthink It
If mentoring is new to you, the idea can be overwhelming. By now we hope you feel more prepared to start living out God’s design for mentoring. We recognize that many women feel inadequate—that they don’t have enough education or knowledge of Scripture to help someone else grow. But investing in another woman doesn’t require an advanced degree. It’s living life together and speaking into her, giving her space to ask questions.
What your friend needs most from you is to feel God’s love and acceptance expressed through you. If you’re willing to share your heart and life with her, God will give you all you need as He accomplishes His purposes in and through you.
As you meet together, cover the relationship in prayer—before, during, and after. Be quick to listen and slow to speak, making sure you have cultivated the relationship before you start pouring out truth. While mentoring can be done through a book study, such as Adorned: Living Out the Beauty of the Gospel Together, more often it happens by living life and pointing others to the Word.
Most of the time, a young woman simply wants someone trustworthy she can share her heart with. You don't have to necessarily have answers, but you can listen and point her to the One who does. Share honestly out of your own life experiences, and be transparent about your failures. Let her see an imperfect person who struggles and faces challenges. Mentoring flows out of being with Jesus.
Even if you’ve never been mentored yourself, you can be used by God as a mentor. This is an adventure not to be missed—an investment that has eternal rewards. Consider the legacy you will leave as a spiritual mother. Each one of us has the privilege, and the responsibility, of training up the next generation. And God has graciously given us His Spirit to accomplish what He’s given us to do.
Titus 2 presents a grand vision of women of all ages growing more beautiful as the gospel of Christ adorns our lives. We adorn the gospel by the way we live. Together, may we make the gospel believable and attractive as we live life together in God’s good plan.
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