A couple of years ago, I asked my roommate’s mom to share with me what she was learning in her current disappointing season of life.
As we focus on loving God and surrendering to Him this month, I thought you might appreciate seeing one woman work out surrender in her circumstances. Enjoy reading portions of her letter today and tomorrow:
Well, well, well...where to begin! Yes, this is an unusual and difficult "season" that I'm in, and have been for about a year and a half. The Lord released me from the counseling ministry through our church a year ago March. I'd been involved in some capacity of "formal" ministry since 1980! (That's since before you were born, I'm sure.) Even through raising four children, the Lord had allowed me to be involved in "ministry," usually teaching/speaking. And then, it all stopped. At first I was excited to see what was "next." I was able to catch up on a lot of projects—that took a couple months.
Then . . . nothing, except the same everydayness of life: laundry, dishes, WalMart, and meals; walk the dog, feed the cat, count the new blooms on the geranium plant . . . you get the picture. I felt very useless, and worst of all, very alone.
But now, I can see the Lord was only "leading me through the valley of the shadow of death," death to self, death to my visions and desires, death to my timeline. And now, at last I can say it's good and I'm glad to be "here," although not one single thing has changed, except me.
First of all, I am obeying and following Him, not running ahead doing my own thing. I have lots of desires, lots of ideas, but have been learning in past years that God initiates, and we respond.
In this "waiting," I'm in the Word a lot, feeding my spirit with Truth. In Jeremiah 17:5-6, the Lord has been showing me how hard life is when lived in the flesh, as opposed to living life in the Spirit (v.7-10). Yes, I've asked the Lord's "help" and blessing in my "service/ministry" in the past, but I believe much of it has been done in the flesh with the help of the Holy Spirit, rather than "in the Spirit," led and enabled by the Spirit.
Have you ever felt like Maria? What area of your life are you seeking to surrender to God today?
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