When It Doesn’t Feel Like Forgiveness

Walk worthy of the calling you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love. —Ephesians 4:1–2

At times forgiveness doesn’t feel like forgiveness. Contrary to the popular misconception, forgiveness and good feelings don’t always walk hand in hand.

You may have honestly, genuinely trusted God to help you forgive your offender. You’ve given Him your heart, you’ve laid it all out before Him, you’ve released the right to punish one who hurt you. But then the phone rings. Their birthday rolls around. A situation flares up where they handle a similar set of circumstances in the same insensitive way. And your emotions start to heat up again.

That’s when many people conclude, “I guess I haven’t really forgiven him, because if I had, I wouldn’t still feel this way.” But forgiveness can’t be proven by our feelings, any more than it can be motivated or empowered by them. Forgiveness is a choice. Feelings often aren’t. It’s quite possible to forgive someone in the right way—God’s way—and still have thoughts flash across your mind that completely contradict the decision you made.

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Choosing Forgiveness: Moving from Hurt to Hope ©2022 Revived Hearts Foundation

Scripture taken from The CSB