Then they sat on the ground with him seven days and nights, but no one spoke a word to him because they saw that his suffering was very intense. ~Job 2:13
My precious friend, Kip Jordon, was dead. He was a man just a few years older than me, and his ailing liver had shut down. His family rushed him to the hospital; in only a few hours, he was gone.
The next few days were filled with phone calls arranging the hurried travel plans of shocked and disbelieving friends. “How could this be?” we said to one another as we agreed to meet in Dallas. “How could this have happened? Not Kip. Not now.”
Our family—and many other friends—made the trip to central Texas for the funeral service. Although we didn’t know what we’d say to these lifelong friends, we couldn’t wait to see Kip’s wife, Kathy, and their two sons, Kelly and Karl.
On Sunday afternoon we were reunited. And although there were many things to be said, we said little. We held one another. We wept openly. We stood silently by while other dear friends did the same. And then we came home.
Over the next several weeks, we talked to Kathy. She thanked us—and all the others—for taking time to visit. She thanked us for our prayers and our consolation. But amazingly few words had been spoken that day in Dallas.
Job’s friends heard about their comrade’s bad fortune. Unlike my friend, Kip, Job wasn’t dead, but his turn of bad fortune was about as close as a man could come to death. And these friends knew it. So they visited him. The Bible tells us that, for seven long days, three men sat on the ground with Job and didn’t speak a single word. Could these friends have said anything to Job? Did they have any helpful advice to share? Even if they did have something to say, they didn’t. Not once did they divulge anything. So, did Job feel supported and comforted by these men? Was he grateful for their friendship and their articulate silence?
Yes. Yes. Three times yes.
In many ways, knowing what to do with the pain of a friend is more difficult than knowing what to do with your own suffering. Sometimes verbal advice is in order. But sometimes, silent presence is enough.
The next time one of your friends is in trouble, try showing up. Don’t worry if you don’t have any advice. Don’t be concerned if the words you try to say are bumbling and awkward. Just being there will probably be enough.
What a powerful lesson these three silent men have taught us.