All Israel heard about the judgment the king had given, and they stood in awe of the king because they saw that God’s wisdom was in him to carry out justice. ~1 Kings 3:28
Here are a few delightful, and perhaps familiar, statements to start your day: “No running through the dining room!”
“My brother bit me!”
“Please don’t put peas up your nose.”
“Stephanie is sitting on my side.”
“But Daaaaaaaaad!”
I don’t think it was ever in our official fathering job description, but “family referee” is something we’re often called upon to be. Mothers often get this call, too—and for her or you, it’s not a lot of fun.
Being a good referee can be a challenge because most of the time we weren’t there to see what happened. We have no video replay. We don’t know who hit whom first. We don’t know what may have provoked the conflict. We don’t know who, if anyone, should be punished. So, what’s a dad to do?
Solomon was facing a tough one, a situation even more difficult than dealing with a little girl who has run off with her brother’s LEGO piece. Two women who only had one living child between them both claimed to be the mother.
Like a skilled tennis player, Solomon smashed a cross-court winner. He answered the question—“Whose baby is this?”—with a question—“Who loves this baby more?” With his question, he got the answer he was looking for. The baby’s real mother pled for his life.
Since we both have already been called on to be our families’ referee, this story provides some great help. Wise Solomon holds a clinic. The lesson is plain. Settle as many disputes as you can without making the call yourself. Listen carefully to the grievances. Make sure you understand exactly what happened. Then ask some pointed questions. In fact, one of my favorites is, “OK, if you were the dad, what would you do?”
“Cut my sister in two with your sword” would not be an acceptable answer, by the way.
One more thing . . . nothing in this story indicates that Solomon was upset at all. In fact, can’t you picture him shocking these two women with his seemingly indifferent attitude? “Bring me a sword,” Solomon said to his servant, probably in the same tone of voice as he would have asked for a refill of his coffee. The mes- sage here is clear and simple: stay cool. In control. Make calculated, evenhanded, and wise calls.
Since you’re going to be the referee, be a good one. Be a referee that keeps the game from getting out of control. You can do it. You look terrific in black-and- white stripes.