Teen Track—Lies About Myself

Dannah Gresh: Welcome to LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com live. We have some special guests that we promised to you. Put your hands together, my friends, for the Gettys.

Erin Davis: They're going to sit on our special love seat. We have been so excited to get with you, and the girls have been coming to me all morning with these questions about your theology.
Actually, none of that. You all came to me asked me how they met, how they fell in love, what did he think of her, what did she think of him. Is that what you want to hear about today? (Crowd cheers.) Okay, so we really love in Christ alone, but really we just want to know about your love story.

Keith Getty: Kristin came to visit me in my studio to ask me questions about the music industry. I think you were kind of keen on me from the start.

Dannah Gresh: Is that how it was?

Kristin Getty: No! I was 18 and just about to start university; he was six years older than me. So at that stage, it just seemed like a different generation. Twenty-four? You're kidding, really? And so I never even would have thought, it never dawned on me.

Dannah Gresh: So, were you friends before you were interested in each other?

Keith: Oh yeah, I decided to ask her to write songs with me. I figured asking a date with a little schoolgirl the first time you meet her is not a good thing. She had just finished school though, so I figured that's not going to work. So, we'll try writing songs.

Dannah Gresh: I want to ask you, I'm being real with you now, you already thought she was cute then, is that what you're saying?

Keith: No, I never noticed.

Erin Davis: Never noticed? I don't believe that.

Dannah Gresh: When was it that you both knew?

Kristin: Well, there's Keith's version and then there's mine. Mine is probably far too long for the time that we have. But basically we were just really great friends, and we were writing songs together. I was singing them, and we were doing concerts and all sorts of things.

And it was somewhere after about three and a half years, it was basically one conversation that just changed everything. Keith was increasingly becoming more and more protective. If I was showing interest in any other guys, he became very angry.

Keith: That's because they were losers.

Kristin: And so I thought, well, there's something more to this than just friendship. I remember saying to him, "Keith, why is this annoying you so much? I don't understand."

And then, we had the conversation one day, where all the cards were on the table. And then a year or so later we were engaged.

Dannah Gresh: You were like 21 then when all the cards were on the table?

Kristin: Yeah, I was 22. I got married when I was 24.

Dannah Gresh: Now, we've been talking today about the relationship of marriage is a portrait of Christ and the Church, right? That the guy is the protector, the rescuer, and the girl is meant to portray us, the Church.

From either of your perspectives, was there some protection, a specific thing you remember that he did that was protective of you, that showed that it wasn't just about attraction, but it was about his concern for you as a Christian sister?

Kristin: He was always very, very careful and very respectful with me. And if I was going anywhere to sing somewhere, he would be on the phone making sure everything was okay, that people weren't being mean to me.

All that sort of stuff, it was so lovely. I used to say, "Keith, you're just like my big brother." The wrong thing to say in that sense.

Keith: Yeah, I was so pleased to hear that.

Kristin: He was so good. And I remember actually sitting in Bible study with some girls, and we were talking about relationships. They didn't really know Keith; I didn't mention him at all. But I said, "I know somebody whose opinion I care most about, and somebody who I'd rather spend time with than anybody else. Somebody I respect more than anybody else, and somebody I think really understands and knows me better than anybody else."

And I was saying it sort of adlib; I hadn't really processed it in my mind. And they all looked at me like, "Why are you not with this person?" And I thought to myself, "I don't know."

And that was, I think, one of the little bells on the head. And understanding all those things, because we obviously worked together in music and everything, and loved that. We got on very, very well. I think growing up, you're encouraged that you marry somebody who is a believer, as you're a believer-a Christian.

But there's also so many other levels of things that sort of need to be in play that make life so much easier. I remember my uncle saying to me, "You can really make any relationship work, but do you really want to work that hard?"

There are some things that will make it easier. And I remember thinking, "We get on so well, and we believe in the same things, and we want to do the same things." And there's all these different levels, you know?

Dannah Gresh: You know what I really want to know? I want to know what he thought was beautiful about her? What was attractive to him about her?

Erin Davis: You're right, that's more important than the first kiss.

Keith: I've got to tell you this, and I'm British, so we have no emotions. And we never say nice things about anybody, because that's just the European way, very charming. I can honestly say, from the first day I met her everything about her attracted me to her.

From character all the way. So, that is the trick. It's interesting the little tell-tale signs. None of these are serious advice, really, but they are little tell-tale signs like Kristin said, about the person whose opinion she cared about the most.

And I remember someone saying to me, "What would you want? What would your dream daughter be?" And I said, "Someone just like Kristin." So, these kinds of things are actually important.

Dannah Gresh: I want you to tell us about her external beauty. I want to know one external quality that you find attractive about her and one internal quality. I know this is really girly talk, isn't it? But you'll notice it's all estrogen out there.

Keith: It's been a difficult 24 hours, I have to say. I'm getting in touch with my feminine side and becoming emotional. I'm finding myself welling up every ten minutes. It's quite an adventure.

Outward beauty-I would say, the two of us, since we got married, we've actually spend every night in the same bed. We've traveled, we've worked in I think, almost 70 cities since we got married, in 51 months of marriage.

By the good providence of the Lord because our careers are joined, we've been able to travel the world and travel across America and spend that time together.

That's been fortunate, and I think the two of us love discovering things together. So, we both get really excited at the same time. It can be the taste of a new kind of coffee or whatever. Just something really small.

We get really excited and hyper, and she's jumping up and excited and laughing and smiling. That's fantastic. I don't know if that's external. Yeah, I think that's probably external.

And internal-it's interesting, before I even dated Kristin (I knew her for three years before we dated) I saw her be a performer on stage. I saw her be a creative person with a deadline. I saw her have to handle criticism, have to handle money, handle career, handle being with strangers, and being with older people and younger people.

In most of those things you usually begin to see cracks in people's character. Not that anybody's perfect, but the character levels that were shown in each of those areas, consistently through the years-I've never seen anything like that.

That was incredible, but I will say, just so you know the other side of it, during those three years when we didn't date, I was engaged to somebody else. And I broke down. It's important, because I almost married the wrong person-someone who was a Christian, but was definitely the wrong person.

I'm 33 so I finished college 12 years. I told my mom when I was 21 that I was having a gap year, and I'm still on my gap year, because I never really got a job. I kind of think of myself still as a student.

But the remarkable thing in those 12 years is nobody becomes what they dream of becoming. They become what the choices they make in life allow them to become. And the most talented people at high school and university are not the people who have done as well spiritually, personally, or professionally.

It is simply that the choices in life you make determine everything, and of all those choices, the choice of either who you marry or whether you marry is the absolute number one choice.

I'm a guy saying that, still having fun and all the rest. Just in that time working with one of the most brilliantly talented musicians in the world and to have worked with some great students with brilliant careers, people in dynamic ministries.

I worked with people who were extraordinarily gifted in business and medicine and all these things, and to see both lives just go down the tube, and you see other people build something beautiful out of mere ashes. It's just incredible.

That's why I think it's made me both very thankful and very aware of the person you marry or the choice not to marry, because the right person is the single critical choice you will make after accepting Christ.

You can choose what you want to study, what you want to do as a career. You can choose where you want to live and all these things. And you know what? A few years later, you can change your mind again.

Kristin: He says it's always better having what you don't want than wanting what you don't have.

Keith: No, it's wanting what you don't have instead of having what you don't want.

Kristin: You know what I mean!

Dannah: I have a question for you, because we've all been watching you. (Crowd mumbles). Oh, you want to know about the proposal!

Kristin: Keith and I were doing a project in Nashville, Tennessee. At that point, I was in the little world of, "I wonder if Keith's ever going to propose to me." My good friend would be like, "Kristin, it will be fine."

I remember thinking, "When's he ever going to ask me?" And it was the day before Valentine's Day. And this was like a dream, actually. I never dreamed this would happen to me.

We were staying in this hotel, and I passed the concierge, or the lady at the desk, and I said hello to her. She said, "Did Mr. Getty find the travel agency he was looking for?"

I looked at her and thought, Is Keith leaving? What's he doing? He can't leave me here. So, I went to Keith's room-we were in separate rooms, by the way.

Dannah: Very important.

Kristin: I went to Keith's room, and I said, "Are you going somewhere? Are you leaving? Where are you going?"

And he was like, "Oh no, you found out we're going somewhere!" And he started telling me the whole thing. He'd booked flights for us to go to New York the next morning, and he picked out a ring for me in Tiffany's, and we were going to get a lovely car that would take us to 5th Avenue.

Then we got the ring, and he took me to this beautiful restaurant, and he proposed to me. It was just wonderful. He just thinks he's great.

Dannah: Okay, here's the question. We're going to open up our Bibles for just a few minutes and talk about beauty, because most of us in here spend a lot of time feeling not really beautiful, right?

Come on. Liers!

So, we've been watching you all weekend sing.

Kristin: On the most massive screen imaginable. I always like checking my nose before I go up.

Dannah: You just look absolutely beautiful. Isn't she gorgeous? I think we'd like to know if you feel beautiful all the time.

Kristin: Not at all, and I could give you a long list of the things that drive me crazy. Do you want to hear some of them?

Dannah: Sure!

Kristin: I hate the fact that my mouth is so large it looks likes it's probably going to swallow my face. I have an overbite, because I sucked my thumb until I was 13! Isn't that just dreadful in a way?

And I've got freckles on my legs, so that meant I pretty much didn't wear shorts when I was younger, because I was so embarrassed by them. These are all stupid things, but I'm sure you have a list of stupid things.

Dannah: How many of you have a list of stupid things?

See, now you've got ‘em talking. Isn't it amazing that someone as beautiful and as talented, as gifted as her feels the same way that we do about some of our stuff? She has a list just like us.

I think that's awesome. I really respect that you guys have been transparent with us today.

Kristin: It's been a pleasure.

Dannah: Ladies, will you put it together for the Gettys.

Kristin: Thank you very much.

Dannah: Thank you guys. God bless you.

I think that's a good segway to talk about beauty. Are you guys ready to open your Bibles?

Audience: Yeah.

Dannah: All right.

Erin: You know what, I need the Holy Spirit's anointing, so we're going to pray.

Father, God, I love you. I love that I'm in this place. I love that I'm in this room. I love this group of girls. I pray that You would set aside these next few minutes to teach us a new truth about the way You created us, Lord, that You would penetrate deep into our hearts and that we would walk away changed.

Help me not to say anything of Erin, but to say everything from You. Amen.

I don't have a lot of time to share with you, but I think it's important to share just a smidgeon of my testimony, and here's how it goes.

I felt ugly. I felt fat. I didn't believe what God said about me. That had dramatic consequences on my life. The Lord took pity, and He rescued me, and He taught me anew of His love for me, and now I walk in freedom.

There are a lot of really cool details in the middle, and I'd be happy to share with you some time, but the Lord loves you the way that He loves me.

I spend a lot of time with teenage girls. My husband's a youth pastor. I did research for Lies Young Women Believe, and I found that there's a big issue in our lives, and it's this issue of beauty and identity.

A lot of us struggle with it, and there are reasons for that. I think the enemy has a special hatred for us as women, and he targets our beauty, because it can sometimes take us down.

But we as girls struggle in this area, don't we? We may not struggle all day every day, but most of us struggle at some point every day. And some of us struggle all day, every day.

I just want to talk a little bit about that. As I traveled around the country for Lies Young Women Believe, I quickly discovered that beauty is one ugly subject. There were a lot of tears shed during those research sessions as girls began to open up about how they felt about themselves.

Most of the girls told me they felt ugly or fat or both. Many of them translated this to mean that somehow they were worth less than some girl that weighed less than them or had purer skin than them or longer hair or on and on and on.

And I want to hit this lie head on. In fact, what you weigh and what you look like and what you dress like has nothing to do with your value, and we're going to tackle that right here.

I want to give you some rapid fire Scripture right now, not because I want to undermine the power of truth. The most important thing I'll share with you are these Scriptures, but I want to show you what God says about you, and then I want to teach you about why it matters that you let that marinate in your heart.

We're going to start with Psalm 139:13-16. Let's all turn there together.

"For you formed my inward parts. You knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."

"My frame was not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unfolded substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."

There are a lot of important kernels of truth here. Let's unpack them a little bit.

First, you were formed on purpose. It says, "You formed my inmost parts. You knit me together in my mother's womb." Are there any knitters in the house?

Okay. I'm learning to knit. I should bring you the thing I'm making. It's absolutely horrific, but I'm trying.

Here's the thing about knitting. It's really intentional. What makes the hat/dishrag that I'm making out of a train is that I tend to drop a lot of stitches, and you knitters know that means you screwed up. You missed a stitch somewhere, and you just keep knitting.

But as you look at the finished project, you can tell when a stitch has been dropped. And this talks about God crafting us with that much intention. It wasn't accidental. There was no big bang that created you.

The Father knitted you together inside of your mother's womb. You were created on purpose and for a purpose. Dannah shared with you that I'm a new mom. I just had a baby seven months ago.

Because I had a hard pregnancy, I got to see him on ultrasound every two weeks, and it started at 12 weeks when he was about this big. I could see his little heart beating on the ultrasound, and it was like this little beacon of light.

He was teeny, teeny, tiny, like a lima bean or something. And then every week after that, I would get to see him. He developed fingers and toes and eyelashes and all kinds of things.

The Lord my God was crafting him with great precision, and the Lord my God crafted you with just as much precision.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it full well."

Scripture affirms that you were made on purpose, fearfully and wonderfully. Not, "Oops, I was made," or some other version like, "I was mistakenly made. I was accidentally made."

No, you were made fearfully and wonderfully. I love what the writer says after that. "Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it full well."

We've heard this verse a lot, probably, if you've been in church very long. But where young women struggle is we don't know it full well. We don't know that it is about us, that it is about our beauty, that it is about our value.

We look in the mirror and go, "Ugh," instead of, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I know it full well." This is what God has to say about you.

Let's move on to another Scripture. Psalm 45:11, this is a good one-it's almost as romantic as an interview with the Gettys. Probably more romantic.

This is really a romantic passage. Dannah talked earlier about the princess being locked in her chamber and the king making a garment for her woven with gold.

But this passage right here radically changed my life. It says, "The king is enthralled by your beauty" (NIV). Who is the king? This is where you can give the Sunday school answer-Jesus. That's right.

This is a poem, and it's probably about King Solomon and his bride, but most Bible scholars agree that it's also about us, the bride, and Christ, the groom. And this is saying that the King of all kings is enthralled by our beauty.

Any idea what it means to be enthralled? Holler it out. Captivated. Amazed. Addicted. Whew, I love that one. Intoxicated. Okay.

Webster's dictionary defines it three ways: "to captivate," that's one; "to hold spell-bound," that's another; and third, my favorite, "to put in bondage."

The King of all kings is put in bondage; He's chained to us because of our beauty. That's pretty powerful stuff. That's what Jesus says about you.

So, I know that People magazine is frustrating. I know that the girls on Gossip Girl or whatever else are frustrating. I know that there's this standard that you're trying to attain that you can't, and it's frustrating. But Jesus Christ is held captive in bondage because of your beauty.

Let that marinate in your hearts for a moment. As I stood in the mirror every day and thought, "Man, I wish I weighed 30 pounds less. Man, I with I had different ..." whatever, fill in the blank.

That became pretty cheap when I realized that Jesus was enthralled by my beauty. I hope that can sink into your hearts. Let's look at something else He says about you.

We're going to look at three verses that talk about how He feels about your worth. Those were about your beauty. These are about your worth.

First Peter 5:7 says this: "Casting all your anxieties on him." Why? "Because he cares for you." Because He cares for you.

I don't know who else cares for you. I'm sure there are people who care for you. I'm sure there are parents in some of your situations who love you and adore you, friends who love you and adore you, people in your church who love you and adore you. But even if you didn't have any of that, you have a God who says, "I care for you. Tell me about your burdens, because I care for you."

It's proof to me that you have value. Let's go to Luke 12:6-7: "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs on your head are all numbered. Fear not, you are of more value than many sparrows."

Do you ever feel worthless? I do. Do you ever feel like, "Why in the world am I even on the planet?" Do you ever feel like if you fell off the planet, no one would really notice? I do.

That's not what Scripture tells us about us. It tells us that we are of great value to God and that not even the birds in the sky fall to the ground without God knowing about it.

And how much more are we worth to Him than birds in the sky? So much so that He knows how many hairs are on our head. Now, these are all verses that we hear a lot about at church, but somehow, we disconnect them from the way that we feel about ourselves, what we think to be true about our beauty and value.

Let's go to 1 John 3:1: "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is because it did not know him." Some translations say, "See what kind of love the Father has lavished on us, has poured out on us, so that we could be called His children."

Now, I could spend the entire day giving you Scriptures that affirm that yes, you are beautiful, and yes, you are valuable, from the Old Testament to the New Testament. What I always say is that from Genesis to Revelation, God talks about you, and He affirms that you're beautiful, that you're valuable, that you're meaningful to Him, that He cares about what's happening in your life, that He doesn't compare you to fake supermodels around you, but that He crafted you uniquely on purpose and for a purpose.

And maybe that would be the best way to spend our time. But for women-especially Christian women-the problem is not that we don't know what God says about us. The problem often is a faith issue. We simply don't believe it.

Yeah, we believe the stuff about the cross and the resurrection. We might believe some of the Ten Commandments. Those are good. We're into the beatitudes. Those are all right. But when it comes to what He says about us, we think maybe He was stretching the truth.

It's a big problem. He loves you. He created you. He created your beauty. He thinks you have value, and if you don't believe those things, it can have very serious consequences.

Let me tell you why. Everybody close your eyes. We're going to take a walk here. It's just you and me. We're walking in a neighborhood. It's a really beautiful neighborhood.

The houses are all really cute. The lawns are all really well taken care of. Several of them have beautiful mums out this time of year. They have flower boxes. They have about 2.5 children playing in the backyard.

The streets are clean. It's beautiful. The fall foliage-we like this walk-this is a good place to walk. Now, everybody open one eye. Do you want to throw a rock through one window? You don't? Come on.

Let's just pick up a rock and throw it through somebody's window and run off. Want to? No, we probably wouldn't. Why? Because this neighborhood is really well taken care of. It's a beautiful place to be. Why would we throw rocks through the window?

Let's take a different walk. Close your eyes. We're walking down a different street. The houses are a wreck. They haven't been maintained in a long time. Most of them look abandoned.

The yards haven't been mowed in ages. There's litter everywhere. There's graffiti on the sidewalks. There's graffiti on the houses. Most of the windows have already been broken out.

Nobody would notice if you threw a cup on the ground. Nobody would notice if you picked up a rock and threw it through a window here. Do you think we'd pick up rocks here? Yeah. Who cares?

Well, our lives are a lot like that. That's a theory developed by criminologists, and it's called the broken windows theory. That is just what I said. If you're in a place, and it's well-kept, you're not likely to do damage there.

But if you're already in a place that's run down, people don't have any problem busting through windows. That is a great picture for our hearts.

When we don't understand that we have value, when we don't understand that we have beauty, when our hearts feel fractured because we've believed lies about our worth, we often become a walking indication to other people to do harm.

That's why it matters that you understand your beauty. Sometimes that spirals into destructive friendships. Often, it spirals into destructive dating relationships. It can have serious consequences on our relationship with our parents.

It can have major consequences in the choices that we make, because we will begin to look for sources of affirmation apart from God, and we will make the wrong kind of choices.

So, yeah, it's just beauty, maybe. But it has consequences when we don't believe it, when we don't believe what God says about it.

I want to read you Anna's story. Anna is a broken window. She said, "For as long as I can remember, I've always had low self-esteem. I was always self-conscious, and unfortunately, it showed."

"I didn't want to stand out. I liked being invisible." Anyone feel that way? "Between eighth and ninth grade, I started taking more notice of guys, so I lost the weight I thought was necessary."

"By the end of eighth grade, signs of depression were already starting to show. I already knew that something wasn't right, but for a while, I was able to hide the anger and disgust I felt toward myself."

"Then, I got a boyfriend. I should have waited for a guy who was worth my time, but I still felt worthless and ugly. I wanted desperately for someone to care for me in that way, so maybe, even if I couldn't love myself, I could at least like myself."

Anna got into a pattern of wrong relationship choices there. Her boyfriend cheated on her. She took him back. He just kept throwing more stones into her already broken heart, and it had an effect.

She repeated the cycle. "He did abuse me some, but mentally and physically," she said about her next boyfriend. "When he got bored with me, we'd break up so he could try out another girl he had lined up."

"For whatever reason, it wouldn't work, and he'd come back to me. No matter how far I'd come with overcoming depression and suicidal thoughts, I held next to no value for myself, and it showed."

Eventually, Anna made a choice to get into another destructive relationship. That boyfriend raped her, and I'm not telling you that Anna deserved what happened to her at all.

But I am telling you that if Anna understood her value and her beauty, she would have made different relationship choices. She was looking for boys to affirm in her what God already purely affirms in His Word, which is that she was created on purpose for a purpose.

She's beautiful. She has value. And that's the same thing that happens to us. That's what happened to me. I say that my "picker-outer" was broken, and it was.

If there was a loser within ten miles who was going to talk bad to me, be jealous, be angry, be demanding, be controlling, he was my guy.

And I made a series of bad relationship choices, and it wasn't just with guys. I was constantly in friendships with toxic girls. I was with girls who were needy and demanding and manipulative and controlling, and there was all this drama in my life all the time.

There was always some fight going on. There was always some conflict. It was because I was a broken window. I didn't believe what God said about me until I gravitated toward people who threw rocks. Does that resonate with any of you?

I want to talk to you about a woman who knew a thing or two about rocks being thrown. This is another familiar story probably-let's start in John 7:53.

It's kind of a long story, so keep with me. "They went each to his own house, but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All of the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them.

"The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, ‘Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?'

"This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, ‘Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.'

"And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.

"Jesus stood up and said to her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?' She said, ‘No one, Lord.' And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on, sin no more.'"

Now, we can learn a lot about the character of Jesus in this little story. We could learn about how He feels about her sin. He didn't ignore it. We can learn about His compassion. We can learn about His justice.

But I think this story has something to say about our beauty and our value. See, we don't even get told the name of this woman. All we know is that she was caught in the act of adultery. That's it.

And she got labeled, "Adulterer." And that was all anybody saw. They didn't see her value. They didn't see her worth. They didn't see her giftedness. They didn't see her beauty. They just saw this label, "Adulterer."

And she had to pay some pretty painful consequences as a result. In fact, people literally wanted to throw rocks at her, which is what I've been talking about-people throwing stones at your heart.

Now, adulterer is not a label that I've ever had to wear, but there are labels that I've had to wear-a lot of them. "Chubby" is one of them. Ha ha, that's funny. "Chubby." It's not funny if you're chubby.

It's not funny if the girls that you spend time with are shopping at 5.7.9, and you can't buy anything at 5.7.9. It's not funny if all your friends wear sloppy dresses for homecoming and prom, and you can't swap a dress for homecoming and prom, because while I certainly am not huge, I'm not as skinny as they are. Never have been, never will be.

So, this is a label that I've worn for a long, long time. I don't like it. I wish the label was "super, super skinny." It's not. Here's another label. Dannah's going to talk a little about this later, but "perfect."

I was kind of a golden girl when I was your age. I was an "A" student, a volleyball player, on student council, a leader in my church. I was a twin, so that's kind of an anomaly thing, so people were kind of drawn to that. "You're a twin. Rock on."

People thought I was pretty perfect, and that got to be kind of a burden after a while, because I'm not very perfect. So, that's about performance.

"Loud"-you might have noticed that about me. There's not anything shy about me. Now, my twin sister is my exact opposite. She's this sweet, sweet girl. She's really quiet. She prays a lot and reads the Bible. She's just everything that I want to be and have never been.

I've always kind of been this way. And people know Erin Davis; you know not so much the other side of me. "Funny face." There are a lot of things I don't like about my face. I have these corners, these flaps over the corners of my eyes.

You can't see them unless you're really close. I hate them. I hate them. Can you see them?

Audience Member: Yep.

Erin: You're supposed to say no! In fact, I spent a whole lot of time in front of the mirror like this, like, "That looks better. I wish I was made like that."

I have these bumps underneath my lips, which I hate. My dad always called them my catfish bumps, which may be why I hate them.

So, I spent a lot of time in the mirror like this, thinking that this looks better than the normal version. I never had one pimple until my 21st birthday; you know when most people's skin is clearing up.

That's when I started to order ProActive. Not a fan of the pimply skin at the ripe old age of 28. That's not really good, and those aren't necessarily things that other people see about me, but that's what I see about myself.

Sometimes I feel like all anybody sees when they look at me is this. I probably feel a lot like the adulterous woman. She's like, "All they see is my mistake." But these are not what God says about me.

God says I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. God says He's held captive by my beauty. God says I'm worth more than the sparrows, and I can cast my anxieties on Him. God says that He wants to lavish His beauty on me, so that I can be called His child.

God says that I have value, and it's really pretty ridiculous in the context of that for me to get too wrapped up in these things. It wasn't until I began to explore my value through the context of God's Word that I began to walk in freedom.

I don't wear these labels anymore. Thank you! I still don't like my eye flaps, and I would still like to shop at 5.7.9, but the fact that those things don't happen, that doesn't consume me.

In fact, sometimes I go days without even thinking about it, which is a great thing. You are a city. Christ describes you as a city, not as that yucky city where people can just pick up rocks and throw them at you, but as a beautiful city, set apart for His glory.

Let's look at that verse-it's in Matthew 5:14-16. It says, "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."

Let me say this to you one more time so that you get it: you're beautiful. You're really, really beautiful. You were created by a kind and loving God who took great care in every part of you, eye flaps and all.

And you have value, not because of what the scale says or what size pants you're wearing, or whether you have a Chi flat iron. I have two. Or whether your makeup looks good-the list goes on and on.

But you have value, because you are loved by a good God. It is my prayer that you will get to the point where that will be more than enough.

We need some crazy music. I need two volunteers from the way back of the room. I see one hand back there. Come on down!

Okay. You're from this side, and you're from this side. This side of the room needs a team name.

Audience Member: I don't know.

Erin: You're going to name them the "I don't knows?"

Audience Member: Neshio, because it means, "I don't know" in Latin.

Erin: This side, this is your player, Neshio, and every time she's doing anything, you need to cheer just obnoxiously loud. (Cheers)

Okay, this side of the room needs a name.

Audience Member: The Little Rascals.

Erin: Thank you. That's not Latin, and I can say it.

And any time she does anything, you're going to cheer her obnoxiously loud. (Cheers) That was pretty good. Come here, girls.

So, here's how this game is played. It's called "Stars without their makeup," or something like that, and we're going to put up a star that doesn't have their makeup on, and the first person to raise my hand and tell me correctly who it is doesn't win anything.

The team that wins also doesn't win anything but bragging rights. Okay? So, we're going to put up a celebrity. The first person to raise my hand gets to tell me who it is. Your team can help you.

Here we go.

Audience Member: Angelina Jolie?

Erin: Yes! Angelina Jolie! Teams, you can help. Next.

Audience Member: Kelly Clarkson.

Erin: I thought it was Rosie O'Donnell. Wait, you guys have to cheer-she got it! (Cheers)

Okay, next. Raise my hand.

Crowd: Oprah.

Erin: Yes, one for the Little Rascals. I'm actually not sure which one is more scary, the before or after! Three to one.

Audience Member: Courtney Cox.

Erin: Yes, good, four to one.

Audience Member: Jennifer Lopez.

Dannah: Yes, Jennifer Lopez, who has never been to our modesty fashion show.

Erin: No, clearly not. I don't think she's wearing enough.

Game over. Give it up for these guys whose name I can't pronounce! (Cheers) And the Little Rascals (Cheers)

Dannah: I want to talk to you guys just for a moment about how critical this issue of beauty is. I believe that womanhood-biblical womanhood-womanhood as God defined it is under attack, and it's being slaughtered.

One of the areas where it's being really slaughtered is in this area of beauty. We are told that we have to look a certain way. You saw all these stars. They don't look like that. That is after mega amounts of makeup, mega amounts of hair artists working on them, mega amounts of body treatments and face treatments, and then, after they change the lights and get the lights to flood out all of her imperfections, because she has pores, believe it or not, then they go into Photoshop, and they Photoshop her to death.

They take out all of her pores. They take out all of acne, because she probably has some of that, too. They frill her hair, and they give her more hair. They change her skin color. She does not look like this.

Erin: She looks like this.

Dannah: I would say she's an attractive woman, but she does not look like this. This is not an attainable image. It's not a truthful image. Kate Winslet-this is the cover of GQ Magazine.

I wouldn't show this in a mixed audience, but I'm going to show it to your girls, because I'm very proud. I'm not necessarily proud of Kate Winslet, but in this specific instance, a stand that she took.

This picture is a few years old, and when it came out, she came out with a statement, because she was so infuriated. She said, "That does not look anything like me. That's not what I look like."

She said, "I can tell you they reduced the size of my legs by about a third." She is a well-endowed woman. She's a very pretty woman. She's not super-skinny. She's normal. She doesn't look like this.

She's not a teeny, tiny little girl. She is a full-figured girl. What you see in the world is not real. You and I are constantly pressed to attain this perfection, but it's not attainable by anyone.

And the thing is is that our hearts are being slaughtered. Your sisters' hearts are being slaughtered. Your mother's heart is slaughtered by this unattainable standard of beauty that's out in the world today.

Does it matter? I think it does matter. One of the things the Lord has brought me to do in the last few years is to focus my attention-I'm still working with teen girls, I still travel around the nation and work with teen girls-but God has called me to work with your little sisters, eight- to 12-year-olds.

This is a picture of an event we did in Fort Wayne, Indiana, with 1200 little girls, moms, and daughters. We did a fun little fashion show and talked to them about modesty and beauty.

Why do we do that? Well, and this is where you come into the picture. I don't want you to just fight this battle for truth about beauty for you. I want you to feel beautiful. I want you to peel the labels off that you have placed on your heart.

But I need you to fight it for your little sisters. I need you to fight it for your cousins that are smaller than you. I need you to fight it for the little girls in your church who have their eyes on you, and their vision of true womanhood is not Nancy Leigh DeMoss or Dannah Gresh or Erin Davis. It's you.

It's Amy Faudi. It's Sarah Wickerbock. It's Hannah Beets. It's you! The little girls in your church have their eyes on you.

And I want to shift. The first part of this day, we've been focusing on you-how we can mentor you, how we can love you. I want to tell you that you have to pick up the mantel, too, because you're a true woman for the generation that's coming up behind you.

These little girls, eight to 12 years old, a Harvard survey said that two-thirds of underweight 12-year-old girls think they're fat. I want you to think of a 12-year-old girl in your church that's skinny as a rail, because a lot of them are.

She thinks she's fat. You know, it's real easy for us a Christians to take up the mantel of the Christian issues like modesty for the biblical reasons, but there are reasons beyond that.

Last year, the American Psychological Association came out with a two-year study on the sexualization of the girls, and listen to me, because this is about you, and this is about the girls growing up behind you. Think about your daughter in 15 or 20 years.

They found that little girls who use makeup too early-and just so you know, you can now have makeup parties for your five-year-olds. You can visit Disney World where you can go to the Bibbity Bobbity Bootique, and it's kind of cute, but I'm not so sure it's good.

I'm not so sure it's safe. They put on this makeup and do hair, and they plaster hairspray on these little tiny five, six, and seven-year-old girls to make them look like princesses. I think they look like princesses before they ever started.

Little girls who wear makeup, little girls who wear sensual clothing, and you can go through the mini skirts and all that kind of thing, but let's just go to the fact that in 2003, parents of seven to 12-year-old girls bought 1.6 million worth of thongs for their daughters.

Thong underwear, not thong shoes. Somebody say that's ridiculous.

Audience: Ridiculous.

Dannah: Why? Why? Why? Because the culture says it's okay. Because the culture says it's cute. Because the culture says because we're making them out of cotton instead of lace, it's all right.

Little girls who wear makeup, wear sexual clothes, feast on fashion and beauty images. Now, Hannah Montana. You know what? I really don't mind when my 14-year-old daughters turn Hannah Montana on and watch it, but boy I would never have let them watch her when they were eight.

And that's who she targets. Now, I believe she's a Christian. I've heard good things about her. I pray for her. My daughter, Lexie, and I pray for her, but I don't think that little girls who are eight, nine, ten years old need a sex symbol.

I don't think they do. They need godly women like you in their lives combating those images of perfection, those unattainable things.

Do you know what happens to these little girls that are feasting on makeup and fashion and sexy clothes? They grow up to be your age, and they struggle with-according to the American Psychological Association-eating disorders, depression, and they are highly at risk for early sexual activity.

Even ten years ago, the average age of a patient at an eating disorder clinic was 15. Many eating disorder clinics across the nation today are seeing little girls at the age of five years old in their clinics.

We're being slaughtered. What are we doing about it? Are we going along with the mindless crowd? The Book of Ephesians said, "Let there not be going along with the mindless crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd" (Eph. 4:17, MSG).

Are we going along with the mindless crowd, not only at the expense of our own hearts, because we've all these labels on us, but at the expense of our little sisters and the girls in our church who are watching us?

You know, what frightens me the most is that those girls who started out with the cute little Bibbity Bobbity Boo makeup parties and the thongs from Abercrombie when they were nine years old and the fashion magazines when they are 11 years old, they grow up to have these scars on their hearts as teenagers. Some of you know all too clearly about those scars, because they've come much too close.

But they grow up, and they become women who are incapable of enjoying the gift of marriage and intimacy that God crafted for them, because they have body image issues. They loathe themselves, they hate their body, because it's never been the cover of a magazine, which is impossible to begin with, and because they have scars on their hearts from relationships in their teen years that they tried to use to fix their heart.

What are you doing about it? I believe that the image of women is being slaughtered. I want to introduce you to an Old Testament heroine. We're going to look at a role model, just very quickly.

We're going to look at 2 Kings 11. What do we do when the truth of God is being slaughtered, when what God has said will stand? And I want to remind you that God says, "The plans of the LORD stand firm forever" (Ps. 33:11, NIV).

We know that the covenant of marriage was meant to be before the creation of earth. It was meant to be a portrait of Christ and the Church. That plan will stand forever, no matter what this world does.

We know that women were crafted to be mothers and wives, and now that is being slaughtered, and many of you are struggling with a passion to be a mother, a passion to be a wife.

That will stand forever, because God designed it. We know that the beauty of woman will stand forever, even though this world is trying to slaughter it, because the plans of the Lord stand forever.

Let's look at 2 Kings 11 (in the NIV). "When Athaliah, the mother of Ahaziah, saw that her son was dead, she proceeded to destroy the whole royal family." Now, I want you to know that Athaliah was the daughter of Jezebel. Need I say more?

She had the same ambition that her mother had. She wanted to rule in the physical realm so that Baal could rule in the spiritual realm. Her son, Ahaziah, had been killed.

Ahaziah was the last adult male in the Davidic bloodline. If you will remember earlier in the Old Testament it had been promised to David that his kingdom would stand forever. God established that, and that there would be a Messiah that came through the Davidic bloodline.

But here we have the last male in the Davidic bloodline-the last adult male-slaughtered. The only ones left were Ahaziah's sons, who were very small. They were babies and toddlers and young boys.

So, this grandmother, the daughter of Jezebel, slaughters them. She sends men in with axes and swords, and she has her grandbabies killed.

"But Jehosheba, the daughter of King Jehoram and sister of Ahaziah, took Joash son of Ahaziah and stole him away from among the royal princes, who were about to be murdered."

This heroine of the Old Testament, Jehosheba, remembers in her heart that the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, and she remembers in her heart that one of those plans of the Lord was that the Davidic bloodline would birth the Messiah.

By the scholar's note it is likely that Jehosheba did not just take this baby out and run off with him, but that this slaughter was undertaken in the night, and it was undertaken in stealth.

So, she went among the dead bodies, the slaughtered babies. "God, please let this one be alive. Oh God, let this one be alive." Why did she do that? Because a woman of God knows this: the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, and even in the face of slaughter, a woman of God says, "No. His plan will stand."

Aren't you ready to say "no" to this culture? The femininity will stand. True beauty will stand. She said, "No," and she went among those bodies, and she came to one, and said, "Oh God let this one ... oh, thank You, Jesus."

Well, she wouldn't have said, "Jesus," because He wasn't there yet. They were still working on that. That's why she was there to begin with. "Thank You, God. This one is alive."

She picks that bloodied one-year-old baby up, she gathers up his nurse. She does the second thing a woman does. It says she put him and his nurse in a bedroom to hide him from Athaliah, so he was not killed.

"He remained hidden with his nurse at the temple of the LORD for six years while Athaliah ruled the land." You know, this bedroom, this bedchamber, probably was not a bedroom like you or I know it as a bedchamber. Bible scholars believe it was more of a linen closet where the priest would have taken their mattresses and their bedding that they had slept on through the night and stored it during the day in this large room of a closet.

So, they felt like that was a secluded place in the temple. They put the baby and the nurse in there for six years. You know what I believe that really was? It was a prayer closet.

When a woman of God sees something of God being slaughtered, she runs to her prayer closet. Can you imagine the prayers that were prayed there? "Oh God, heal his wounds. Oh, God, let him live. He's the last that we have of the Davidic bloodline. Oh God, do not let Athaliah find him."

"Oh God, please don't let Athaliah know that we are hiding him. Save our lives, spare our lives." This was not a candlelight, soft music kind of prayer thing. This was a pleading with God kind of prayer.

Interestingly, the Davidic line had always faced that. If you remember, not before David was crowned king, but after he was anointed king, Saul himself chased David to kill him, and David found himself in a prayer closet called the cave of Adullam.

In that cave David wrote many of the Psalms that we read-grieving prayers of God's rescue, pleadings with God. Bible scholars believe that they know where that cave was where David hid, and when he would walk to the mouth of that cave, he could see the very field where he had slain his Goliath.

But you know what? There will be times in your life where you have to walk away from your victories, and you have to run into your cave, or your closet of prayer.

Why do you do that? Well, one, you do it to seek God's wisdom. "What's next, Lord?" But the other reason you do it is because there are battles in the heavenly realms being waged over your life, because Satan hates the plans of the Lord for your life.

That's why he wants to slaughter womanhood. I'm reminded of the prophet Daniel who cried out to God from Babylon and said, "Lord, rescue us! Bring us deliverance." And for 21 days, nothing came-no victory, no rescue, no deliverance.

And in 21 days, the angel of the Lord showed up, and said, "The Lord heard your cry. He sent me right away, but the prince of Persia, a demonic force, fought with me, and I could not come to you."

"But because you persisted in prayer, God sent the angel Michael to fight beside me." Athaliah was only a physical manifestation of a spiritual battle-Baal facing off with God.

A woman that recognizes the slaughter against her generation and against the plans of the Lord runs to her prayer closet. How much time have you spent in your prayer closet about your beauty, about your womanhood, about your femininity as God fights in the heavenly realms for the battle to be won over your life?

The third thing that a woman of God does-she waits for those things that the Lord calls her to do, and in His perfect time she carries them out. I want you to notice that "in the seventh year Jehoiada sent"- Jehoiada is Jehosheba's husband-"sent for the commanders of units of a hundred, the Carites and the guards and had them brought to him at the temple of the LORD.

"He made a covenant with them and put them under oath at the temple of the LORD. Then he showed them the king's son" (2 Kings 11:4).They did not work in isolation. Remember what I said earlier that Christianity is not a solo sport?

You have got to work with a team. You have got to have that secret of the Lord, that community around you. Do you have that? Because you're in a battle.

First, Jehosheba gathered her husband. Then, at the right time, with the Lord's authority and appointment, they gathered these guards who represented hundreds of men.

And then, if you'll go with me down to verse nine, "the commanders of units of a hundred did just as Jehoiada the priest ordered. Each one took his men-those who were going on duty on the Sabbath and those who were going off duty-and came to Jehoiada the priest." It was on the Sabbath that they staged this coupe, because the people of God would be gathered on that day.

The most faithful people of God who believed that the plans of the Lord would not fail would be gathered on that day. A woman of God never works in isolation.

And it says, "Jehoiada brought out the king's son and put the crown on him; he presented him with a copy of the covenant and proclaimed him king" (2 Kings 11:12).

I read this a few weeks ago in a lot of discouragement, because at my work, my Secret Keeper Girl is just hard right now. It's hard, and I'm asking the Lord to bless it and move it.

We just released four new fiction books to try and teach the girls that age about true beauty and things in a creative way-a lot of neat stuff-but things have just fallen through the cracks.

The enemy has risen up high against us. And I was discouraged, and I got this out, and I was just feasting on it. "Lord, Your little girls are being slaughtered. Lord, womanhood is being slaughtered. Lord, true beauty is being slaughtered. What do we do?"

And I got to this verse, verse 12: "Jehoiada brought out the king's son and put the crown on him; he presented him with a copy of the covenant," and suddenly, something resonated in my heart.

It was never about the king. It was always about the covenant. The covenant that you and I are called to protect is first and foremost the cross of Jesus Christ. But the second covenant that you and I are called to protect is the covenant of marriage.

We cannot protect that without protecting true womanhood. Let me tell you what-it's not about your mom protecting it; it's about you protecting it. Because these eight, nine, ten, 11, and 12-year-old girls who are on the frontline of the battle, they need your rescue.

How many of you have eight, nine, ten, 11, 12-year-old sisters? Raise your hands. Stand up. How many of you have eight, nine, ten, 11, 12-year-old nieces? Stand up. I know there's a few moms in here, so if you have an eight, nine, ten, 11, 12-year-old daughter, stand up.

And finally, if you have in your close church circle-every church has eight, nine, ten, 11, 12-year-old girls-but in your close church community, an eight, nine, ten, 11, or 12-year-old girl that God has entrusted to you. Stand up.

We are called to protect the little girls growing up behind us. On the day I was so discouraged, I said, "God, how do I do this? How do I protect these girls?" And I realized I can't do it alone.

I need you. I need you standing with me. And so, I devised a plan, and I have some great support to help me with this. I'm collecting the signatures of 50,000 young women and women who want to take a stand against what the fashion industry is doing to little girls.

I'm collecting these signatures. I'm calling it the "Bod Squad," and I'm taking these signatures next year to the Fashion and Industry Council of the United States of America.

I've been interviewed several times by Women's Wear Daily, which is the global fashion bible of the industry, and their concern, these secular designers and advertisers, are saying, "I think we've crossed the line somewhere. Don't know where it is."

We're going to take these 50,000 signatures, and we are just going to positively say to the design world, to the fashion world, and to the advertising community that we respectively ask that you read the American Psychological Association's Task in Force Report on the sexualization of little girls.

And we want you to take responsibility for what you create for those little girls and how you market it to them. You know what? This is the most fun part-when we get all 50,000 signatures, we're all going to go shopping.

We're going to find a retailer, a national chain who has traditionally honored age-appropriate clothing. They've provided age-appropriate clothing, and we are going to shop there together, all 50,000 of us on one day.

(Applause)

And you know what? I believe that is going to get a lot more than 50,000 signatures. We have a PR agency in New York City helping us with this effort, and last week, they had The View interested in the petition.

Do you know what The View is? It's like a really not-conservative talk show, and if I get on there, I'll probably be slaughtered. But hallelujah, I will be slaughtered in the name of the Lord!

(Applause)

So, this is what I want you to do. If you're standing up right now, we're going to break. Erin and I are going to go over to the book signing table. We will sign books, we will take pictures for the next 20 minutes. Nancy will be with us in about 20 minutes for a short time. And for our last session, we're going to do some more of our wonderful game, "Let's Make a Deal."

We have one more very important teaching session, and we're going to have another Q & A session in our last session. But here's what I want to ask you to do in the next 20 minutes.

We'll sign a book for you no matter what. But I'd like you to come over here to the stage first, and I have some petitions here. You can sign electronically at SecretKeeperGirl.com, or you can sign here, and we'll enter it electronically when we go back to our office.

But way over there on the edge of the stage are a whole bunch of piles of the petitions, and if you feel so motivated, you could take one sheet, and you could circulate it here this weekend and bring it back to me, or you could take it home with you and get your friends.

We have a Facebook cause that you could join. I want you to stand up to rescue little girls. Will you stand with me? (Applause)

All right. Let's have a little music. Erin and I are going to go to the book table, and you're going to go sign that petition.

Leslie Basham: This message was presented at True Woman '08 in Chicago. Check out all of the messages delivered there and more by visiting TrueWoman.com.

There you'll find even more ways to connect, from books and resources you can order for yourself, your friends, or your life group, from on-demand multimedia, to ongoing conversations you can be a part of.

And we're updating it all the time. True Woman '08 is a ministry of Revive Our Hearts, helping you become God's true woman.