How to Love a Prodigal:
A Candid Conversation with Judy Douglass
If you’re praying for a prodigal, you may feel alone in the struggle. Judy Douglass knows that ache and the strength that can be found in Christ.
Q: You’ve experienced this painful journey and helped hundreds of others through it. What advice do you have?
A: The three words I’ve found most helpful are love, mercy, and grace. That’s how God has always related to us. He’s loved you with this incredible love that caused Him to give His life to redeem you. When you’ve made mistakes, He’s given you mercy, over and over.
What will have far better results than pushing your prodigal away is pulling your child into your heart, like the father in Luke 15. This doesn’t mean you don’t have boundaries. Or that they’ll respond immediately. But seeking to love and to hold—and not in a controlling sense—makes a huge difference.
Q: But it hurts so …
If you’re praying for a prodigal, you may feel alone in the struggle. Judy Douglass knows that ache and the strength that can be found in Christ.
Q: You’ve experienced this painful journey and helped hundreds of others through it. What advice do you have?
A: The three words I’ve found most helpful are love, mercy, and grace. That’s how God has always related to us. He’s loved you with this incredible love that caused Him to give His life to redeem you. When you’ve made mistakes, He’s given you mercy, over and over.
What will have far better results than pushing your prodigal away is pulling your child into your heart, like the father in Luke 15. This doesn’t mean you don’t have boundaries. Or that they’ll respond immediately. But seeking to love and to hold—and not in a controlling sense—makes a huge difference.
Q: But it hurts so deeply. How can moms continue loving their prodigal children when they keep lashing out?
A: It’s only possible by the power of God in you. You’re going to go against your own hurt feelings, anger, and fear, but when you trust God with that, He can give you His love, mercy, and grace to flow through you.
Be patient. Keep loving. Bless your child. They don’t deserve blessings, but neither do we. Bless them in prayer, and bless them practically.
Q: How did you do this as a mom?
A: One time, I was trying to speak with my son in a voice of grace, and he stormed out angrily. Right then, I decided to shift my anger toward tangibly blessing him. I chose one of his chores—laundry—and gathered every dirty piece in his room.
One by one, I put his clothes into the washing machine and said, “I bless you, Josh.” “I bless you, Josh.” It was the most healing thing I could’ve done.
Q: Would you offer a prayer for a prodigal now?
A: Father, I know how much You love this prodigal. Please soften their heart, that they’d lose their anger and resentment about all things related to You. Awaken their conscience. Remove spiritual blindness. Keep pouring out Your love, mercy, and grace on them. Bring people into their life to remind them of what they’ve known. Give them a heart to turn to you and see the abundant life You offer. Give them the power to grasp how great Your love for them is. Please don’t let them wander away forever.
