Because He Lives, You Can Entrust Your Loved Ones to Jesus, with Joy McClain

As you head into Easter weekend, what’s on your heart? If you are overwhelmed by circumstances involving your loved ones, guest Joy McClain will show you how to entrust them to Jesus in this Holy Week episode of Grounded. 

Episode Notes

• “Heaven Rules Your Child’s Future” video

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Dannah Gresh: Because Jesus lives you can entrust the people you love most to Him. And that's the big idea of this special edition, this special Holy Week edition of Grounded. I'm Dannah Gresh. 

Portia Collins: And I'm Portia Collins. And you know, one of the reasons we wanted to do these special daily Grounded episodes is because the resurrection of Jesus has practical implications in our real lives. 

Dannah: That is right. It matters today. We don't just celebrate the resurrection. We live in the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. And today, you can expect our conversation with Joy McClain to help you see how the reality that Jesus is alive gives hope for some of your most tender relationships. 

Portia: I'm so excited. I love, love, love, Joy.

Dannah: I do too. 

Portia: But first, we want you guys to grab your Bibles. If you were here with us yesterday, you know that every day we're going to read a passage together. And so, on Tuesday of Holy Week, the religious leaders continue to question Jesus's authority.

And you can read all about that in Matthew chapter 21:23 through chapter 26:5.

Dannah: That’s a mouth full right there.

Portia: Yes, yes. And Mark 11:20 through the 14:2; Luke chapter 20 through 22; and John 12:37–50.

Dannah: Find them in your Bible. 

Portia: Yes.

Dannah: Read them, even though this Tuesday, the Tuesday of Holy Week. It was the day the holy leaders questioned Jesus' authority . . . may we not be questioning His authority.

Portia: Yes. 

Dannah: But embracing it today. I want to read to you from John chapter 12, verses 44–50. These famous words were spoken by Jesus, on Tuesday of Holy Week, read them with me. They say,

Jesus cried out, “The one who believes in me believes not in me, but in him who sent me. And the one who sees me sees him who sent me. I have come as light into the world, so that everyone who believes in me would not remain in darkness. If anyone hears my words and doesn’t keep them, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world but to save the world. The one who rejects me and doesn’t receive my sayings has this as his judge: The word I have spoken will judge him on the last day. For I have not spoken on my own, but the Father himself who sent me has given me a command to say everything I have said. I know that his command is eternal life. So the things that I speak, I speak just as the Father has told me.”

Words of Jesus. 

Portia: Amen, the words of Jesus. Whether it's a husband whose heart is hard, or maybe it's a child who's turned away from the Lord, or someone you love, maybe they're facing a devastating medical diagnosis. Listen, because Jesus lives, we can entrust the people we love most to Him.

And we can have hope that He will bring new life. So, watch this short clip of a mama who learned that lesson through a child with disabilities.

Michelle Leach: I never pictured having a child with special needs. That just sounded like a death sentence to me at the time.

We went to the 20-week ultrasound where we were just expecting to find out whether we were having a boy or girl. They said they found a major heart defect as well as a couple other abnormalities that encouraged them to kind of have more specialized care down at the Children's Hospital in Philadelphia.

We didn't know much other than a heart defect which would most likely require surgery when she was born. Throughout the rest of my pregnancy, we had echocardiograms to the baby's heart and very detailed ultrasounds. As the scans were progressing, they were continually finding all of these abnormalities about our daughter, Blair. They advised that if we were to terminate the pregnancy that we should seek answers sooner than later. That was the point at which we really started wrestling.

Whatever the results would be, they wouldn’t change our decisions.

There was a very poignant moment when she was born. They handed her to me, and I looked at her face, I knew there was a problem.

And that moment, I truly had feelings of not wanting my own daughter. 

Erin Davis: Every mama who's ever had to put their baby in a basket metaphorically can relate to that. But if your heart has ever been touched by a Grounded episode, and I hope it has, there's a woman you need to thank. Her name is Joy McClain. She leads the Grounded prayer team. We call them the GroundedUnderground. Joy leads that charge so passionately and so persistently because she loves you. She wants to see the Lord give you hope and perspective. We're so grateful to get to celebrate Resurrection Sunday with her. Welcome back to Grounded, Joy. 

Joy McClain: Thank you. Good morning, Erin. 

Erin: Morning, Joy. I want you to take us back many years in your mind, although I know you well enough to know you can get there in a blink of an eye, to when your own husband, who you adore, was struggling with alcohol. You had to just trust Jesus to work in his heart. What were those days like for you? Can you remember? 

Joy: Oh, I remember them very well. They were dark. There was this sense that God had abandoned me, and maybe he had lost my address.

But it's also the days where I was either going to believe what he says in His Word, or I wasn't. I think the best word that I can use to describe those years, those long 22 years of praying for him . . . 

Erin: Decades. 

Joy: . . . was desperation, really just desperation, desperate for the Lord to move, desperate to see my beloved redeemed, desperate to really get out of that. The depth, the pit, the dark, the always seeming to claw my way through.

But the desperation really allowed so much else to fall away. I think there became a tunnel vision more and more just funneled through. I became more desperate for Jesus and realized He is the source of all that I need. My strength, my hope, my life. He is my Redeemer. 

So, the desperation I think that went from the dark desperation of, “Change my circumstance. Get me out of this. Slap my husband into redemption. Do something.” To, “Lord, I'm desperate for You.”

Erin: I think probably every woman listening is gonna just latch on to that because you know, we can handle what comes to us: we get a scary sickness diagnosis, we lose our jobs, something happens to us as women, we can handle that in a way. But when it is happening to the person we love, it is harder. I know your story. We're gonna drop the link to the whole story of this journey walked with your husband. 

I also know that you did spend some time trying to fix it in your own strength. Can you describe that, when you just thought Joy was going to handle this instead of that desperation you're describing, now?

Joy: Oh, yes, there was a control. I think women, we are great at control, right? We think we have control.We do not. But you know, you think maybe this sermon, maybe this song, maybe if I act like this, maybe if I really scream and yell or slam doors loud enough, he's gonna get it. 

Excuse me, you know, maybe there's going to be something that I can do. That gets his attention. 

We're not meant to transform him. I'm not the Holy Spirit. But it took years to get to that point where, wait, I'm, I can't do anything here. 

And God allowed some severity of our circumstance for me to learn that lesson. That's partly why I wrote the book, Waiting on His Heart: Lessons from a Wife Who Chose to Stay because it was years of lessons that the Lord was teaching me so that I could get to that.

Erin: And you even separated for a time, right Joy during that time.

Joy: Yeah, more than one 

Erin: Yeah.

Joy: We didn’t even have contact, really. I didn't have contact with him for a while. And actually, when he came to surrender, I rarely saw him. So yeah, God does not need us ladies. And you know, we want to fix.

Erin: Yeah. This might become what we like to call a Kleenex Grounded. We have those from time to time, actually fairly often. Because this that you're describing with your husband, and I know that it's still tender in your heart, but it happened some time ago. But there was a time more recently when your daughter was carrying twin boys. And much like the video we just watched, the prognosis wasn't good. There really wasn't anything you could do. How did you entrust your grandchildren to God in that moment? 

Joy: That was another realm, that was another layer. You know, as moms, we have such a fight for our children. We'll do anything. God made us such protective nurturers. What did your grandchildren . . . it's a layered thing. Until you become a grandma, when you kind of go, “Oh, I know what she's talking about.” 

It was just the most helpless feeling to know she was carrying twins, and one was not expected to survive. She had three other little boys that I was helping her care for and helping her husband as they went back and forth to Chicago. They were always at some appointment. And you know, we had so many people praying for Benjamin. You know, we just begged, we asked the Lord to do a miracle, do something, do something to change this, this medical diagnosis, and He did not. 

And so, last summer, when the babies were born, little Logan was whisked away to the NICU and there he remained for three months. He's now a fat, healthy baby. Benjamin lived about a minute or two. 

And because I had been through such immense sorrow with my beloved husband, I knew that God could be trusted with the deepest lament and grief. When I held Benjamin, whose body was stiff. He was deceased. He was no longer here. I could look at him and say, “Because You live, Jesus, Benjamin is more alive with you than he ever would be here on earth.” 

I could look at my daughter and know she's going to get through this only by His grace, only because Jesus lives. The grave clothes have been empty. We have earthly dreams. We want a good marriage. We want our children healthy. We don't want any disabilities. We want alive children. We don't ever want to say goodbye to anyone. We want it feeling so good and contented. But this world is falling, and it is broken. Since Genesis when the earth began, it’s groaning, we have waited.

And though the Messiah has come, we still wait for revelation. Because there we behold the Lamb, and the tears truly are no more. 

Erin: So yeah, you're gonna sit at that banqueting table with Benjamin someday.

I wanted you to tell that story, even though I know how tender it is. Because you know the story with your husband is, I entrusted them to the Lord. And ultimately, your husband came to Christ, and you're married today and have a happy marriage. 

The story of Benjamin is . . . we prayed as much as we could, for the Lord to spare his life, and He didn't. I don't know what else symbolizes the fall of man more than a baby in a casket. But it's not how it's supposed to be. 

But you were able to just entrust Him. I remember the funeral week. I mean, you were speaking the language of hope at that funeral week, and you've just articulated that so beautifully. 

There's not like a quota, we get this much pain, and then we get to walk pain free. Just very recently, you texted me, you are so sensitive, the Holy Spirit. You texted what's on your heart. When I received that text, as I was at the bedside of my own mama, she had had a really terrifying seizure. She'd been transported to the hospital via ambulance. She hadn't spoken all day. We wondered if she'd had a stroke, she did. 

This was the hardest part for me. Several times over the course of that day, her nose would turn red, and tears would pour out of her eyes. We knew that she was sad, or she was afraid. And yet she couldn't articulate that to us. 

That's when your texts came. I knew that the Lord was rallying the armies of heaven on my behalf. But what's interesting is the use of that text from the bedside of your own mama, who was on her way to go be with the Lord. I wish you had been with me in that hospital room, because I don't know how to surrender my mom to Jesus's care. I don't. I don't know how to entrust Him with this Alzheimer's journey is going to take as long as He says, and she's going to endure all kinds of things. 

You've learned those lessons. So how does the fact that Jesus is alive? How does it infuse us with real hope when we're sitting at the bedside of someone who isn't going to be alive much longer? How do we walk that out?

Joy: That is so difficult. I was the caregiver for my mama for four-and-a-half years and it was a rough winter. When she got sick and had her massive stroke, she really declined. But the dying process took days. They were so difficult to watch. That's my mom, my sweet, precious, tender mom lying there. 

I think in those days, just as with Benjamin, just as with my beloved, I cry out and say, “God, I can't do this. I need You so desperately.”

And we look around we say, “Whom have I in heaven, but You are my source and my strength.” Everything starts to disappear, and we desire, “I need You, Jesus. You are my hope. You're my mom's hope.” 

I had found a note in my mom's Bible. I read the last Scripture I read to her. Something she had kind of left for me, I felt like this is from Psalm 30:11 and 12,

You turned my lament into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth
and clothed me with gladness,
so that I can sing to you and not be silent.
Lord my God, I will praise you forever. 

You see, God turned, He says, “You turn, You removed.” God turns everything. He's the one who removes the sackcloth. He removed the grave clothes, and He removed the curse of death. And my heart can and will sing. Benjamin, my sweet grandson . . . I tell you, to be honest, when I see twins, especially boys, half of my heart is torn. But I know there's a little twin, a little guy who rejoices in heaven. 

I don't know what wonderful plans He has for Logan. I'm sure it's more than I can fathom. My beloved is such a faithful man, and my mom rejoices. The sackcloth, the grave clothes are removed. There's no more struggle. 

And the bottom-line, Erin, and I really learned it is this: you need Jesus. That is the answer to every single one of our sorrows.

We raise sheep. And when a lamb . . .

Erin: That's exactly where it's gonna take you. Nobody loves a shepherd more than you. So come on, give us the Shepherd. 

Joy: That’s right. So we have sheep. When a lamb is abandoned or needs to be bottle fed or is in trouble, I have to step in as the shepherdess. Out of a whole flock of sheep. Which ones when they hear my voice come into the barn and out in the pasture, like, twist and turn and twirl and run full out run to me. It's those who needed me the most, those who would have perished had I not stepped in. Those lambs grow up to be ewes and rams and wethers. Those are the ones that are jumping all over me. They know what they want. They want my face. They want to see my face and hear my voice. 

Suffering is what it is. It's suffering. We don't want to suffer grief. But what does it do? It causes us to seek what? To seek His face, to desire Him above all other things. Is there anything greater in the world? 

One of my favorite pictures in Scripture is of Jacob when he’s older, when he's nearing the end of his life. You know, Jacob had to wait for Leah, wait for Rachel. He had all this contention with family members. All of these things of Jacob wrestled with the Lord. My favorite piece of that is that when he's old it says he leaned upon his staff and worshiped.

I think that's how I want to go out. I want to go out worshiping the One who is worthy. I've had sorrows; we've all had sorrows. You're either coming in one or going out of one. I've just had some prolonged clusters with one. But the grave clothes, my own sackcloth, will be turned to joy. 

Yes, at the feast, the wedding feast of the Lamb. But the moment that life is over for me, when I cease, when my heart ceases to pump my blood, my life blood I’ll be in the presence of the Lord. And I want to say no matter if you have a loved one, or a child, no one struggling is so far away. 

Instead, like a prodigal. They are like a tender lamb. They need the nourishment of the Word and of the Spirit. God doesn't look at them as an enemy, even though I mean biblically, they are an enemy. God looks at them as a lost, desolate, needy, feeble lamb. 

So, keep praying, keep hoping. God is faithful, so faithful. He is a good and faithful Shepherd in all things. 

Erin: Amen. Amen. You're going to see some lamb imagery. This week we associate the lamb with Easter, and I want you to think of what Joy just told you. Those lambs who have needed Him the most seek His face. There's probably some lambs in your life that are running and bleeding, going in the wrong direction. 

I hope Joy's words are gonna drop joy right into your heart. I know my Grounded sisterhood. I know there's going to be some women even in the joy they have of Resurrection Sunday, they're gonna go, “But my thing is still in the grave. I know Jesus rose from the grave, but my person is metaphorically or literally still in the grave.” Would you pray for that woman as we wrap up this morning? 

Joy: Absolutely. Father God, Your Word describes, You describe Yourself as compassionate, abounding in love. Lord, You know better than we do our own sorrows? Our own griefs, laments, these things that have us feeling so empty and lost and destitute and even crying out, “God, are You there? Do You care? Do You see me Father?

God, I pray for that woman who has been on her knees, who has shed millions of tears and uttered thousands of prayers, who feels that she’s scratching along, Lord. When? How long, Father?

I pray that she would feel surrounded, hemmed in, by Your grace and by Your love, Lord. That when she picks up the Word the next time, it is not the grave she reads about; it is the resurrection, the redemption. That is not the darkness, that is the light coming in. Lord, the enemy wants to make her feel like death is her lot in life, or just the darkness, or that her prayers aren't heard. Lord, would You remove the lies from her heart and her soul.

God, You love her. You hear her cries, You hear her cries for her loved one, for the addict, for those who are wrapped up in pornography, for the marriages, for the broken, for the wearied, for those dying, who have not yet received You as Savior. 

God, You are our hope. You are Redeemer and Friend. We are here solely to bring You glory and to have a relationship with You. God, in Your tenderness, Your compassion be that.

My precious sisters who are so suffering and worried right now . . . They set next to the bedside, or hold the hand, or maybe haven't even seen the person they love or for so, so long. They don't even know where they're at.

You are merciful, our hope is found in You. Let her heart be turned just like my little lambs to seek your face. You say as a good and faithful Shepherd, You know the sound of their voice, and they know Yours, Lord. May Your voice bring them comfort. You’re good, You’re holy, You are our Shepherd.

And thank You. We love You. And all this we pray and ask and Your holy, sweet and precious name. Amen.

Erin: Thank you, Joy. We love you so much. We're so grateful for the ways you faithfully pray for us and for Grounded.

Joy: You got it. 

Erin: Happy Resurrection Sunday. He lives! 

Joy: Amen. He lives. Thank you, Erin. 

Erin: Thank you. Dannah, get us grounded in God's Word.

Dannah: Thank you, Erin. 

You know, as I was listening, you're in a waiting room. God's waiting room as you're waiting for your mom to walk through this terrible suffering of Alzheimer's. 

And that's what I want to talk to all of you about today: being in God's waiting room. It's not my favorite place to be. But I have found one of the sweetest places to be. Because it's there that we find what Joy was talking about when she was in the waiting room for her husband, waiting for him to surrender his heart to Jesus. That's when she found her heart reaching out for Jesus in a way that she maybe didn't even know she needed. 

I don't know what waiting room God has you in. Maybe you're not waiting for the death of a parent. Maybe you're not waiting for a child or grandchild to be born healthy. Maybe you're not waiting for a husband to come to Him. Maybe you're waiting for a prodigal. Maybe you're waiting for a purpose.

But if you're in the waiting room, there's a woman in the Bible you need to study. Her name is Hannah. Hannah was struggling with infertility; she was waiting for God to fill her womb. And oh, how it hurt as she waited. But as she cried out to God, she began to let go of the baby she was actually waiting to receive.

You see, when she prayed, the Bible says she spilled out her petition. It was messy, it was ugly, it was full. I would definitely say a 4-tissue, maybe a 10-tissue day.

Life is messy when we hurt.

But we can be encouraged to give back to God what's already His. When we're in that waiting room, we can give back to Him our children, our grandchildren, our parents, our friends, our husbands. And some of the courage to do that comes in the waiting room. 

Let me read to you 1 Samuel 1:10–11. It says that,

She [Hannah] was deeply distressed, and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly. And she vowed a vow and said, “Oh LORD of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but we'll give to your servant of son, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.

And a spilling out of her heart contains a promise, “I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life.” I want you to know something, an important thing to know in your waiting room, pour out your petitions to God.

But pouring them out to Him is an incomplete act and becomes extraordinarily selfish if we do not include a steadfast commitment that God owns everything. Everything is first and foremost His, not ours. 

Now, let me be honest, this is a really hard thing to do.

It was a hard prayer for Hannah to pray. Perhaps she didn't even mean it the first few times she prayed it. I know I've been there. But over time, God used both the sorrow of her barrenness and the faithful words she prayed to change her heart so that when that precious baby was finally in her arms, she would not turn back. 

You see, her sorrow became reoriented. And her desire was no longer just for that baby but for the glory of God. In essence, her prayer becomes, “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done.” And who taught us to pray that way? Jesus.

No matter what you're asking God to give you, it is not easy to give it back to Him . . . but it's especially true when it's your children.

Hannah was willing to say that and live it.

Am I willing to do that?

Are you? Are you willing to give back to Him what you're waiting for?

As we pour out our petitions for God, we're going to also master the art of pouring out our conviction to give everything back for His glory and His kingdom. That desperation that Joy was talking about will rise up in our hearts and it won't just be a desperation for the thing we long for, but it'll be a desperation for Jesus Himself. 

You know, God does answer Hannah's petition in 1 Samuel 1: 20. We read that,

In due time, Hannah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Samuel for she said, “I have asked for him from the LORD in due time.” 

That's the waiting room. In the waiting room in due time, Hannah conceived and bore a son. It didn't happen right away. She had to sit in God's precious, painful waiting room. She had to wait on Him. Why?

Well, it's okay to pour out your prayers to God. But in that waiting room, we finally release the plan to God.

Hannah wanted a son you see, but God needed a prophet. It had been 100 years since the people had heard the word of the Lord. And God took this broken woman in her waiting room. He didn't just fill her womb. He filled the nation with His truth through the baby that He brought to her. God honored Hannah by choosing to give her a son so that He could use him to give birth to revival for Israel. His name was Samuel. It means “God hears.” Was Hannah saying God heard her prayers or that God was hearing the prayers of a whole nation?

There certainly are a lot of those going up right now, aren't they? I wonder if the trial that you're going through right now, the waiting room you're in, is bigger than you?

I know our hearts can be changed as we wait. Hannah's was, because she does take Samuel when he was probably a preschooler to Eli the priest to serve God in the temple. 

Now, if you don't think that was a hard decision and that was a hard trip . . . I bet that was like a 50-tissue day. She's no longer anxious and vexed as we see when she starts asking God for a baby. But as she releases the very son she's asked for, she's full of praise. Here's what she sings as she gives up the son she longed for, “My heart exults in the LORD, my strength is exalted in the LORD, my mouth derides my enemies, because I rejoice in your salvation” (1 Sam 2:1). 

Yeah, my friend, it is in the waiting room that your praise is going to rise up, that your heart is going to learn to exalt the Lord, that your strength will be exalted in the Lord, and that you'll learn to truly rejoice in the God of your salvation, the very God who we celebrate on this Holy Week. 

So, stay in the waiting room, because in due time, God will do what He needs to do, not just in the lives of the ones you love, but in your heart.

Portia: Amen, amen. 

Erin: So, so true. Dannah. That's why we don't rush past the events of Holy Week. I know we want to get to Resurrection Sunday. I force myself to read about the crucifixion every year, but I don't ever want to because it's hard to take in, and those days in the tomb, but it is in the waiting room that God really does the work.

I had a counselor say to me once a few years ago . . . There was a big family drama. I was having a hard time surrendering it. She said, “Entrust them to Jesus. It's the safest place for them to be.”

Portia: Amen. 

Erin: Whoever's on your heart today whatever waiting room you're in, you can entrust them to Jesus. It’s the safest place for them to be.

Portia: Amen, amen, so good today, such an encouragement to my heart. Y'all already know I'm ready to come back tomorrow. I want more. Like the Lord is really blessing us through this week, and tomorrow I know is going to be no different. We want you to come back. We got word our guest will be Nicole Jacobsmeyer. She’s going to tell us that because He lives, we can live joyfully. Let's wake up, let's hope together tomorrow on Grounded. 

Dannah: Grounded audio is powered by Skype. Grounded is a production of Revive Our Hearts, calling women to freedom, fullness and fruitfulness in Christ.

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