Because He Lives, You Can Let Go of Shame

Without Good Friday, there would be no good news! But Jesus lives—and that means you no longer have to carry the weight of shame. Find out how to walk in true freedom in this final Holy Week episode of Grounded.

Episode Notes

• “What Can You Do with Regrets?” video

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Dannah Gresh:

Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us,keeping our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before him he endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I'm Dannah Gresh. And that was Hebrews 12:1–2, welcome to the Good Friday edition of Grounded. 

Portia Collins: And I'm Portia Collins. We are here to give you an infusion of hope and perspective to things that we love to give out. And we want you to know that there is so much hope and perspective to be found at the cross of Christ.

Erin Davis: I know that's true, but I want to make a little Grounded confession. There's a part of me that dreads this day, because every year on this day on the calendar, I force myself to read about the crucifixion of Jesus. 

And even though I know that Jesus went to the cross as an act of such profound love for me, it's still really hard for me to look at everything He endured, for my sake. But we are going to do that because without Good Friday, there would not be good news. How about you? Do you girls read about the crucifixion on this day? How do you typically respond? 

Portia: Yeah, go ahead, Dannah.

Dannah: Well, Bob and I have been talking about that. We haven't observed this day as faithfully as we really need to. This year we really are. We're headed to a Good Friday concert tonight. We have a time at our house where we're going to be praying together. We've just kind of pushed reset on it this year because I just want to confess it's kind of been a nothing event for us. We kind of focus on Sunday.

Erin: Right? What were you gonna say, Portia?

Portia: Yeah, I think that Sunday has been the focal point for my family as well. But honestly, I would have to say that I do kind of pause a little bit. Just because I have this fascination with ancient Near Eastern culture and reading that. So, it's almost like I try to take myself back to that timeframe. 

Erin: I don't know that I'll ever get to the Holy Land, because I think if I actually stood at Golgotha and actually could put myself there, I'm not sure that I could stand it. But I do want to honor all that happened on this day. Dannah, you mentioned taking a pause. This is what we want this episode to be, just a pause to reflect on what Jesus did on Good Friday.

Dannah: That's right, this week, we've been reading about the events of Holy Week together. Today's reading comes from Matthew chapter 27:45–54. We hope you'll just grab your Bible and read along with us. I've got Matthew 27:45–46. It says, 

From noon until three in the afternoon, darkness came over the whole land. About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out with a loud voice, “Elí, Elí, lemá sabachtháni?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?”

Erin: I'm going to pick it up at verse 47. I'll read 47–50. 

When some of those standing there heard this, they said, “He’s calling for Elijah.” Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge, filled it with sour wine, put it on a stick, and ordered him to drink. But the rest said, “Let’s see if Elijah comes to save him.” But Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and gave up his spirit.

Portia: I'll pick up at verse 51–54.

Suddenly, the curtain of the sanctuary was torn in two from top to bottom, the earth quaked, and the rocks were split. The tombs were also opened and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised. And they came out of the tombs after his resurrection, entered the holy city, and appeared to many.

When the centurion and those with him, who were keeping watch over Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they were terrified and said, “Truly this man was the Son of God!”

Dannah: Truly, this Man was the Son of God, Jesus. We’re so grateful for His death and His sacrifice in His life. 

We're so glad you're spending Good Friday with us. Let's go ahead. We're already in God's Word. But I want to get us grounded in God's Word. Today, I want to talk to you about the genesis of shame. You remember, for the joy set before Him, Jesus scorned the shame of the cross.

You know, there was a day when we humans did not have the emotion of shame in our repertoire. Before sin entered the world, Adam and Eve did not feel it at all. Genesis 20:25 reports that the man and his wife were both naked and they were not ashamed, naked, and unashamed. That's how mankind started. 

But then that piece of forbidden fruit, the snake, and well, Adam and Eve sinned and shame came into the world. Shame is an emotion that can only be experienced. Excuse me, shame is an emotion that can only be experienced in a fallen and sinful world. But that is where you and I live. So, we definitely know what it feels like. 

The first couple responded to this new acute emotion by hiding from God, and it seems from one another's gaze, since they covered themselves with fig leaves. We've been hiding ever sin. In Luke 8 we read about a woman who suffered from chronic hemorrhaging for 12 long and deeply lonely years. She'd seen Jesus heal others, and she longed to receive His touch. But this woman was too suffocated in toxic shame to ask Him for help.

What if someone overheard her talking about her humiliating problem? She sought to hide in anonymity, and she decided to just touch the fringe of the Savior's cloak the hem of His garment, hoping that He would be enough that touch would be enough to heal her. 

But this lonely woman touches Jesus' robe, and immediately He asked who has just touched me? 

You know, when you think about it, it's a question that begs us to slow down and wonder, Why would the Son of God even need to ask that question? Jesus knew who had touched Him. Did He want her to experience the emotional healing that comes from being seen? 

What has you hiding?

Is it a physical ailment or disfigurement that embarrasses you so deeply that the emotion is turned to toxic shame? Or maybe it's an addiction or a sin, a stronghold of sin that you've never told people about? Or maybe you've told people about over and over just hoping it'll set you free with some accountability, but it hasn't worked. Maybe it's a broken relationship, a marriage problem, a prodigal child, prodigal husband. 

Today, I invite you to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment. Many did that very thing when Jesus walked the earth, not just that woman with an issue of blood. Matthew 14:36 reads that people “. . . implored him that they might only touch the fringe of his garment. And as many as touched it were made well.”

I think we can learn two lessons from these people who reached out to touch the hem of His garment. The first is this: we must be obedient to God. The word hem means, “fringe, tassel, or border of a garment. “

And Numbers 15:38–39 had special instructions for the people of Israel about this. It reads,

Speak to the people of Israel, and tell them to make tassels on the corners of their garments throughout their generations, and to put a cord of blue on the tassel of each corner. And it shall be a tassel for you to look at and remember all the commandments of the Lord, to do them, not to follow after your own heart and your own eyes, which you are inclined to whore after. So you shall remember and do all my commandments, and be holy to your God.

You and I need that reminder too. We are not saved by keeping the commandments; however, we do prove our love and the transformation that Christ has done in our hearts by keeping His commandments by obeying Him.

One of my favorite reminders of this is found in John 14:15. Jesus simply says, “If you love me, keep my commandments.” 

Today, we don't have tassels to remind us, but we have something far greater: the Holy Spirit dwells within us. If you have been thinking about a sin that makes you feel shame today, that is the sweet spirit of God inviting you to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment. Of course, this means you have not been obedient. And that brings us to today, Good Friday. Let me remind you what's so good about it. 

Here's the second thing you need to know. Jesus died on Good Friday to erase your shame, your shame over moments of disobedience over moments of sin, over physical limitations and problems that embarrass you, over relationship failures that have undone you. Jesus can erase that sick feeling that makes you want to hide from Him and other people.

Jesus was a perfect substitute for our sins because He never disobeyed God the Father—not once. Because of that, He was the pure, spotless Lamb of the world. No more animal sacrifices. Jesus, the Son of God, was the ultimate final sacrifice for humanity. Why? Because He loves you. 

He’s seen everything you've ever done. He knows every thought you've ever had, and He is not ashamed of you. He loves you. You know this verse, whisper it with me. John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him will not die but will have eternal life.” 

Jesus died because He loves you. 

The woman with the issue of blood believed that. Now, she didn't know Jesus would have to die for our sin, but she believed Jesus was who He claimed to be: the Son of God. And when she touched the hem of His garment, it was the same as touching Him. 

She came by faith to the right person, in the right manner, and she received healing, healing for her physical body. I believe that Jesus, in looking at her and saying, “Who touched Me?” she received healing from her shame. 

Do you need to touch Him today? Do you need healing in your body? Cleansing from your sin? And a right relationship with God? I want to invite you to come touch the hem of His garment. 

Erin, I wonder if you'd come and just lead us in prayer of surrender?

Erin: Happy to. What a beautiful way of sharing the gospel, Dannah. So that's our invitation. If you came to this broadcast with shame, and you might not even know it . . . But as Dannah was talking, the Holy Spirit revealed a pocket of shame, you are free to lay that at the foot of the cross where Jesus died for you and for me on this day. 

So let me pray a prayer of surrender out of my own heart, and you pray your version right where you are.

Jesus, thank You for paying such a tremendous price so that we could be free from sin and the shame that comes with it. Thank You that You took on our shame on the cross. You didn't like it. You despised it. But You took it on because You love us. So, I pray for the woman listening and she is realizing maybe for the first time, or maybe again, just how much shame she's carrying, like a backpack of rocks on her back. 

I pray that by the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, You would free her, You would free me, to lay that shame at the place where You died for it. Help us to surrender our shame to You, believing that Your sacrifice on the cross was enough. It's in Your name I pray, amen.

Maybe you are listening to this and you're thinking, I did. I surrendered my life to Jesus. That’s me. But why do I still feel shame? Stick with us. We're about to tell you how to beat the battle after this short clip.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: What do you do with regrets? We all have that. Just a few comments about that. Those regrets weigh heavily on us at times, all of us. We thank God for grace. We go back to the cross. We preach the gospel to ourselves, and we realize that I am not the Christ. I am a sinner who needs a Savior, and thank God, I have a Savior. 

I’m so grateful that God has not dealt with me according to my sins or as I deserve. I’m so grateful for His mercy, His grace each step each day of my life. 

I'm so grateful that at the very point of my failures, lack of discipline in so many areas of my life, habits that I wish were different in all of who I am—failures, faults, flaws, sins, weaknesses—I'm grateful I can take it to Him to the cross.

I can be thankful that He took all that sin, all that failure, all that weakness on Himself. And then, He clothed me in exchange. He never failed to please God 100% of every waking and sleeping moment. He never failed to say that which would give honor and glory to God. I have failed so many times, but I give Him my failure. And He gives me an exchange: His righteousness. 

I remind myself as I think about regrets that are the sum total of my life when it's said and done. The sum total of your life when it's said and done will not be about how well we performed, how well we lived up to our goals, how perfectly or successfully we overcame our bad habits or our sinful patterns. When it's said and done, the sum total will be Christ and Christ alone. My righteousness, He took my sin He who had no sin, took it on Himself. And that is the only basis on which I will ever be able to stand before God without shame or regret.

Erin. I've been honest here.

Dannah: Amen.

Erin: Amen. I've been honest here on Grounded many times before that I am someone who veers towards discouragement and despair. And I wanted to do this episode for me. 

We've been talking about the fact that because He lives all week, and because He lives you can surrender your shame. What better way to honor Good Friday than to surrender the shame that you're carrying? 

Jesus's death on the cross for your sake. It's not just some story. It has real application for your real life today. We aren't going to try and cover everything that Jesus's sacrifice means in this short episode. But as we thought about how we want to spend good Friday together, we knew that we wanted to try and reach through our cameras straight to your heart, and remind you that because Jesus lives, you can live really because Jesus died. You can live free, really free from shame today.

Dannah: Yeah, I'm a living testimony of that. I once deeply acutely felt the shame of my past. And now I talk about it really freely, because Jesus has healed my heart. 

You know, this is family talk today. We chose not to have any guests with us on this very special holy day. It's just us, the Grounded family, looking each other in the eye and reminding each other, that we don't have to walk around under the weight of shame.

Portia: That’s it. We don't have to walk around under the weight of shame. Back to the passage that you read. Dannah at the beginning of this episode, said that Jesus endured the cross, despising the shame, He took on the shame of your sin of my sin. So that we don't have to.

Dannah: Yeah, yeah. So let it go. My friend. Good Friday means that there is no longer any condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. I mean, is there a better reason to call it Good Friday?

Erin: No, we just want to show you how this is done. We endeavor to go first as much as possible, not as women who have arrived or follow Jesus perfectly. But as women who want to live out what the cross and resurrection means.

And there's a little line, I have to say myself a lot, a lot. And it's this, Erin, you are not the one person, the cross is not big enough. Because in my own flesh, I can somehow minimize what Jesus did on the cross and think that I fallen short of that. 

And that does not honor everything that He endured, and that we read about so we're just gonna have a really short discussion. So, you can see how, how easy this can be easy and hard at the same time to let go of shame not because you've earned it not because there's nothing to be ashamed of. But because Christ took on your shame on the cross. So, Dannah, would you just let our sisters know about an area of shame in your own life that you want to surrender at the cross this Good Friday?

Dannah: Well, an area that I'm surrendering in real time, because I want to talk to you, I want to lead with my limp and say, this is where I am right now. Be very mindful of the fact that the Lord has set me free from shame from my past. But one of those things in my past is my husband's battle with lust and pornography. And I've just released a book on it. And so, I'm in the throes of Satan saying, hey, can I reintroduce that shame to you? 

Because there was a time when I didn't really, I didn't want people to know about that part of my husband. And I'm getting letters all the time from women now who are saying, “I can't talk about what's going on in my life, because it would discredit my husband's reputation.” 

When I talk with them. It's really shame. They're not getting the help they need, the prayers they need from their sisters in Christ because they're embarrassed. And I see that same kind of conversation happen among parents who have prodigals and grandparents who have prodigals. 

Instead of bringing that story to the believers who can intercede with them, they're hiding it. I'm telling you, you are vulnerable to the enemy when you do that. 

So, I'm just saying that I am not going backwards in the name of Jesus. I am proud of the battle my husband has fought and won. I am proud that I have talked to other Christian sisters about it so they can intercede with me for my marriage. You are one of those sisters, Erin. I just invite you if you're experiencing shame of the sin of somebody else in your family or your friendship circle—maybe it's a husband, maybe it's a prodigal child—place that shame today the foot of the cross.

Erin: Amen. And let me just encourage you take a little, itty, bitty baby step. Grounded is not a substitute for your church family where you live. It's not a substitute for a women's Bible study with women who know you and love you. But if the things Dannah just shared are sources of shame for you, when someone in your family or life has was chosen a sinful path, you got that comment thread, you can just say, “That's me. I feel shame there.” Then, you're already taking that step towards freedom. 

Portia, what about you, if you face this Good Friday and you think about shame, what you need to leave at the foot of the cross, what comes to mind for you?

Portia: Yeah, I need to keep leaving the shame of my past at the cross. There has been so many different levels of shame that I feel like I've experienced just growing up, things about me, my upbringing. My mom was a single parent. There were all of these things that I've just felt unworthy and just ashamed. I feel like that kind of grew as I was seeking ways to validate myself and not seeking my validation in Christ.

It's almost like I created a compounding problem with just making bad decisions. I have a past that is just riddled with so much sin, from the sin of abortion to just, you name it, like there are so many things. I think I carried the weight of abortion for a very long time to where I couldn't even speak about it publicly. 

And I think now God is showing me every day that even that, “I can redeem you from even the most horrendous things that you dare not to even utter to others, like Jesus went to the cross.”

Erin: The things come back as a mama, as your mothering, to haunt you, I'm sure.

Portia: Yes. 

Dannah: Can I read a passage of Scripture? I feel like Portia, you just poured comfort on hearts when you said that, and I'm so proud of you. 

One of my verses about my past is 2 Corinthians, Erin’s heard this before, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all of our affliction . . .” not just the stuff others abroad on us, but the stuff our own sin is brought on us “. . . so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (vv. 1, 3–4). 

One of the reasons we overcome shame in the name of Jesus is by giving it to Him at the foot of the cross. Because when we overcome it and say no to it, we have comfort to pour out on the hearts of others. And that's what Portia just said when she shared that testimony.

Erin: Amen. I think shame can feel so normal. And part of what we're calling you to hear, Church, is to normalize freedom from shame. And it will look really radical for those who don't know Christ.

Dannah: What about you, Erin?

Erin: It's so tender, so tender, it's so fresh. I wanted to do this episode. And now, I'm like, “Why did I put myself in a position to have to share this?” But several weeks ago, in my women's Bible study, we were talking about the woman at the well and Jesus just taking shame off of her. And the Holy Spirit just put His finger on my life and exposed that I have tremendous shame about who I am.

I don't have sin in my past. I mean, I do, of course, but there's no skeleton. It's not something somebody else has done. I walk around with loads of shame about being Erin Davis, and the kind of personality that I have and the implications of this personality. Sisters, I am not asking you to affirm me. Please don't do that because that only goes so far. And at a certain point, the affirmation of man can't help you stare your shame in the face. 

So, I just have felt a tremendous amount of freedom. I still have some shame rocks to leave at the cross just about being me. I'm probably not the only one that feels that way. And so, for some of you, that will hit you in the heart. Go ahead.

Dannah: I want to pray for you, Erin. 

Erin:  I’ll take it. 

Dannah: Maybe you can just stand in the gap for every woman who feels pricked by shame today. I feel like we as women believe one of two lies, and we hardly ever find the middle place. One is I'm not enough. And the other end of the spectrum is I'm too much. 

Erin: Yep.

Portia: Yeah.

Dannah: Look at you guys resonating. We really hard time being in the middle and being like, I'm just what Jesus needs me to be.

Erin: Yeah.

Portia: Yes.

Dannah: And there is certainly conviction. Sometimes the Lord will quiet my voice down. He'll be like Dannah, pull back a little bit here. Let this person, this leader, let that person shine. And sometimes the Lord's like girls speak up, you know. 

So, I'm not saying that there can't be conviction in that. But what if we just believed Psalm 139 as our creation story? You know, who told me that that was my creation story?

Erin Davis, you are perfectly and wonderfully made fearfully and wonderfully made, woven together with precision from your cute button nose to that adorable laugh and giggle, to those beautiful tears you cry over and over on this program. I love who you are. And I'm gonna go ahead and affirm it.

Portia: And you can affirm it because of Jesus. 

Dannah: That's right. 

Portia: She's not saying anything that Jesus doesn't think and know and love about you.

Dannah: Yeah. 

So sister, if you're listening, and you're thinking, I wish someone say that to me today, you need to be vulnerable, like Erin just was. 

Erin: Yeah.

Dannah: You need to go to your dear friends in Christ and say, “Hey, I'm battling a battle with shame over my past. I am battling a battle of shame over my personality. I'm battling the battle of shame because I have a prodigal and I've never told anyone.” You need to go tell someone that today. But let me pray for you.

Jesus, You despised shame. That means You hate shame, and You quieted shame at the foot of the cross, so we no longer have to listen to the voice of it.

I bring to You my sisters in Christ right now. And I ask, Lord, that You would comfort them with a comfort that only comes from the presence of Jesus Christ. I ask that You would give them the courage to go to sisters and come out of hiding and say this is the battle with shame I'm fighting so that they can go to the Word and they can wash one another's hearts in the truth of Jesus. But we receive the good news of Good Friday right here right now. We refuse to be victimized by hiding in shame. We receive the healing and the salvation of Jesus Christ in the mighty name of Jesus. Everybody said, “Amen.” 

Portia: Amen.

Erin: Amen. Here's another saying I will endeavor to believe for myself and hope you can grab on to: Jesus, we will measure Your love by the cross and Your power by the resurrection. You can't measure it by whether you feel love today, friend. You can measure it by the fact that He went to the cross for you because He loves you. I want you to hear me say we have loved spending this Holy Week with you. Our hope was that our hearts would become soft and to Jesus. And that's been true in my life. I hope it's been true in your life. May you worship our risen Savior with fresh hope and no shame this Sunday.

Dannah: Amen. Amen. This is the part where we usually say let's wake up with hope together tomorrow on Grounded, but today I am just bursting to say, “He is risen!”

Portia: Yes. He is risen!

Erin: He's risen indeed! It's good news.

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