How Do I Set Priorities in My Busy Life?, with Michelle Leach

Are you too busy? Do you have friends or family members telling you that you’ve got to slow down? If you’ve been wrestling with priorities, pull up a chair and join the team for a special episode of Grounded. In this episode, Erin Davis shares five questions from Scripture that will help you set and evaluate your priorities so that you can wholeheartedly pursue the Lord, making the best use of the time He’s given you.

Episode Notes

• “Fear to Joy: A Daughter I (Never Thought I) Needed” article by Michelle Leach.
• Give to Revive Our Hearts’ Fiscal Year End need.
• Register for the Biblical Help for Real Life online event series.
• 5 Questions from Scripture to Help Orient Our Priorities by Erin Davis.

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Dannah Gresh: Well, I've got one word that every woman I know is wrestling with “priorities.” You’ve got to ask yourself, Is it possible to be a woman who does it all? Well, sometimes you might be wondering, Am I just busy for no reason at all? Well, pour yourself a cup of coffee, pull up a chair. We're gonna talk about that in this honest episode of Grounded. Welcome, I'm Dannah Gresh.

Erin Davis: I'm Erin Davis. I didn't bring my coffee, but I brought my green smoothie. I am here for this conversation because spring scheduling has me feeling totally crazy brain. It's not just like the air traffic control piece of it. 

I have a lot of thoughts in my head, like, How do I show up for my kids in the ways that I want to? How do I serve others in the ways that I want to? How do I enjoy Jesus in His Word. And the way do, how do I take care of myself so that I can keep showing up? How do I fit all of that into a twenty-four-hour day?

I probably have more crazy brain thoughts than that, and I know you do too. I know you're feeling that pressure too, so I'm eager for us to just talk about it.

Dannah: Yeah, so important, and here's why it matters. Here's why it matters that we get it right. Every decision that we do, every decision about what we do and what we prioritize and what we don't do, it matters for this reason: it matters because we are at war. We have an enemy of our souls who wants us to live for anything, anything other than Jesus.

Erin: There you go . . . right for the jugular. We're not just talking about priorities for priorities sake. Last week the Revive Our Hearts staff gathered for a prayer Summit. It was so amazing.

Dannah: So good. 

Erin: The Lord really moved in my heart. The speaker challenged us with something that felt so pertinent to what we're talking about today. He said, “If the devil can't destroy you, he will distract you.” So yeah, we're at war.

Dannah: Yeah, and the devil will distract you with good things. It's hardly ever like when you're trying to live for Jesus. It's not the bad things that distract you. It’s things like serving a church. Uh huh. I did say that. Or demonstrating excellence in your career or being a good student, because these are noble things, right. But they can also be distractions from the noblest of all things, pursuing Jesus. 

In fact, Erin, over the weekend, I Googled “Christian women and priorities” . . . those three words. 

Erin: Oh man, that's a rabbit hole. 

Dannah: Yeah, I just thought, What am I gonna find? And I found this survey. Now, it's an older survey from 2012. But what I saw, I was like, “Ah, this is it.” This is a challenge. It revealed that 62% of Christian women said being a wife and a mom was their most important role.

Erin: Well, that feels like really good news . . . and a little controversial. By the way, there's been lots of chatter about that. 

Dannah: Rabbit trail, do we need to go there? 

Erin: Yeah, I think we should a little bit.

Dannah: Okay, well, we'll go there. Just second. But here's the problem, though. The second most important role showed up at just 13% of women saying this is what matters. Are you sitting down? 

Erin: I’m not. I'm standing up, but I'll brace myself. I want to know what it is. 

Dannah: Okay. Again, 62% wife and mom most important role, 13% most important role—Jesus follower. 

Erin: Uh oh, we’ve got things flipped a little bit there. Not a bit, but a lot, we’ve got things flipped.

Dannah: Being a wife and a mom matters. It matters so much. I mean, we prize it; we think it's fantastic. But if we find our identity in anything other than Christ, all of those priorities are not going to be grounded in God's Word. We're not going to show up as a Christian wife, as a Christian mom, who fills the world with Christ followers that are aiming at the bull's eye of living their life for Him. 

So today, we want to take a look at priorities. We're going to start by asking, are you doing too much? I'm going to share a Bible verse that helps me answer that question with clarity. Now, it could be a game changer for you, too. I hope that it is. 

Erin: Yeah. Speaking of game changers, we alluded to it. There was a lot of chatter in the news this weekend about this conversation. As a football player, a Christian football player gave a commencement speech commending wives and mothers. We don't need to get into all of that, except for as Dannah said, we champion those roles. But that's an example we can get so kind of rabid at defending certain roles, certain responsibilities, and what we want to redirect all of us to is our priorities being set by the Lord and Him being our priority. 

So that's where we want to start. Even though that's all very interesting to think about. I've got five questions to ask today as you set and evaluate your priorities. They're all straight from God's Word. We don't want you to take our word on any of this because we're not experts. we're wrestling with prioritizing right alongside you, which is why we wanted to do this episode together. But part of why we gather here on Grounded is to find God's truth together. 

So, we will be taking your questions here that we're going to be taking your questions live, if you've got questions about how to set priorities. What does the Bible say about priorities? How do you establish priorities in different seasons? I don't know what your questions are. I hope you throw us some curveballs, actually. But what are your questions about this topic? We're going to do a special segment about halfway through where we're going to just take those questions live and see where we can find answers from God's Word. So go ahead and start dropping those in the chat. Because we want to hear from you. 

Dannah: Do you think they want to send those questions? Because I mean, we were like we were saying before, we're nervous. Please send us questions. 

Erin: Yeah, please send us questions.

Dannah: There's nothing worse for an author than doing a book signing and nobody comes. 

Erin: Oh it’s painful. 

Dannah: Have you ever done that? Erin? 

Erin: Oh, yes, I have. So, for our sake, and I'm probably going to repeat this many times, we're not We're not the Ask Us Anything, people. We're not saying that we have all of the answers. But I think there's real value in us saying these things out loud and wrestling with them together. And so, if you've got questions about priorities, and I know you do, just drop them in the chat, don't let us be sitting here at our books table book signing with no people. Save us from the awkward.

Dannah: Oh, as always, Portia is here. She's in the wings with a heartwarming good news story about one mom. You're not going to want to miss that. 

Erin: And we've got an announcement at the end of this episode, it's actually a shift in priorities for the Grounded team. And we want you to know about a decision that we've made very prayerfully. So you're going to need to keep watching the whole thing to get to that. But first, we've got some extra special good news. And I know just the girl to bring it for us. Portia. How are you doing?

Portia Collins: I am doing good. So glad to see both of you and your beautiful faces this morning. 

Erin: You don’t ever wrestle with priorities, do you?

Portia: Is that a true question?

Dannah: It was a setup.

Portia: Yes, yes. I've got a good news guest today who knows a thing or two about that? Michelle Leach is the mother of four daughters. Oh girl, I got one, and I get it. Four daughters, one of whom has a rare genetic diagnosis. So welcome to Grounded Michelle, I can't wait for you to share your heart this morning.

Michelle Leach: Thank you so much. Thanks, Portia.

Portia: So Michelle, tell us about Blair.

Michelle: So, like you said, I have four daughters. When our first daughter was about three months old, we found out we were expecting number two. Everything seemed normal. At the 20-week anatomy scan, we thought we were just going to find out whether it was a boy or girl. They actually found a heart defect and some other things that they felt like we should seek a little bit more intensive care for our daughter—more scans in utero, things like that. 

So we were referred down to the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. We were encouraged to do invasive genetic testing. They felt like based on what they were seeing there was an underlying genetic defect. So we really wrestled with the Lord the second half of my pregnancy. I'm wondering whether this was going to be a lifelong genetic diagnosis or simply a heart defect that could be repaired and then we could move forward. 

So when she was born down at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, she was under close watch for her cardiac defect. That is when we had the genetic testing done once she was born. It took about eight weeks to return with any results, but in the meantime, she was not able to nurse. She failed about every newborn screening imaginable. She was not feeding even through a bottle. There were a lot of suspicions about what that genetic testing would reveal. 

So when she was about eight weeks of age, we were back in the hospital for her heart surgery. That was when we sat down with the geneticists and learned about this very rare genetic diagnosis. There is about 300 known cases in the world, we were told. It really affects about every function of her body. She is severely cognitively and physically disabled. So it felt like a death sentence at the time. But the Lord has really used Blair in a mighty way in our lives. 

Portia: Oh praise God for this sweet Blair. So first, let me just acknowledge I know how scary just the unknowns were. And you know, just my momma heart goes out to you right now. So I just wanted to say I understand just how much this probably was for you and your family to navigate at the outset. 

But as you say, God’s blessing hand is on her. You recently wrote about your journey of parenting a child with special needs, the Risen Motherhood blog, and another mom whose daughter has the same rare condition read it. Tell me, Michelle, what happened next?

Michelle: So when I included the name of Blair’s diagnosis in that article, I was not thinking that I would connect with another mom, that was not anything on my radar. I just wanted to include it. It was part of our journey. She reached out to me on Instagram, and basically said after reading this article, she felt like I was reading her diary. She could relate to so much of what I was saying, but felt like she was having trouble communicating those thoughts and emotions. 

We just started chatting back and forth. Her daughter was born two months after Blair, so they are the same age. We sent pictures back and forth. And our daughters look like twins. It is unbelievable. They say that children with this diagnosis kind of look more like each other than like their parents. But it was shocking. We became fast, fast friends. And to fast forward, actually, this past weekend, we actually met for the first time. We spent the weekend together out in Ohio. We spent the weekend just meditating of God's goodness and all of this. 

So backing up, we went back and forth messaging, we eventually started video chatting so that we could see the girls and share our families with each other. I had never experienced another mom who completely understood. 

I just felt like the Lord was saying, “I see you. I see you and this mom.” The Lord was using her as an encouragement from the Lord. 

At the time we started connecting, she was on her way up to where her daughter receives care up in Chicago. She was about to receive a wheelchair for her daughter. She had outgrown this adaptive stroller that she was using at the time. Her daughter is slightly larger than Blair. 

So Blair being smaller, we were still using a stroller for her but we didn't have anything specialized. We didn't have a specific medical stroller that really gave her the support that she needed. So we were just making do. But getting her on and off the bus for school was becoming really clunky, and transitions were difficult. 

So this other mom, her name is Jessica, was saying, “Man, I wish there was a way that we could get this stroller to you.” Her daughter had upgraded to a wheelchair. They were not going to be using this stroller anymore. And we just started praying. We were like, “Okay, Lord, there has to be a way. She was in Illinois, outside of Chicago. I'm here outside of Philadelphia. We trust You.” 

We looked into shipping the stroller. It was gonna be a couple hundred, so we said, “Nope. There's got to be a better way.” 

So I put it out on social media. I just said, “Hey, looking for someone who's traveling from outside of Chicago to around the Philly area that would be willing to transport this stroller.” I think it was within a half an hour, somebody I had known formerly reached out and said, “Michelle, my parents are driving out this week from outside of Chicago to about 10 minutes from my house. And they would love, love, love to drive this stroller out for you.” 

And so, the Lord provided. He constantly reminds us, He cares for Blair's needs. And this was just another way that He was showing that. 

So within a week, the stroller arrived on our doorstep. And just to affirm that this, the Lord saw this need for Blair. We were making do with something else, but the Lord knew that this is what she needed. And since we've received this stroller, our life has been so much easier as far as transporting her. The bus drivers have made comments, her teachers have made a comment about how perfect this stroller is for her and just so many aspects of her life. So this is just one very small example I feel like of how the Lord has just said, “I see Blair. I know her needs, and I'm going to care for her in ways that you can't even imagine.” And so that is good news.

Portia: Sorry, it's my pup. Keep going. 

Michelle: I don't know what else you want to know? 

Portia: I got you. I'm sorry that he interrupted your train of thought. But I am sitting here completely like jaw dropped. Because when we say around here that God is in the details, God is totally in the details. Like you can't make this up. 

I don't have the words because this is just a testament to how much God so intricately cares for us in our needs. I love it. I

Okay, so all month long here at Revive Our Hearts, we are focusing on shifting our thinking away from “I deserve” thinking, to “we serve” thinking. You know, we call women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ. I want to ask you, how has this mother's sacrificial service to your family made you want to serve others?

Michelle: That's a really good question. I just I feel like the ways that she had shared with me this other mother had shared with me that when they received this stroller, and when they received their wheelchair, they prayed for whoever it was going to go to next. 

I just saw her heart, of feeling like, “Lord, I want to be used, whatever that looks like. I want to be used. Whether I have a child who is severely disabled, it might look very different than what I ever dreamed, but use me, use my resources.” 

And so, being the recipient of that, I really feel like I want to have open hands. I want the Lord to use me, I want the Lord to use Blair however He sees fit. And so, it really has motivated me to just have open hands in whatever He has for us. And that has looked very different than what I envisioned five years ago. But I thought that it brings the most joy and it brings Him glory. 

Portia: Oh, I love that. I love that you are a delight. Michelle, it has been such a joy to be able to talk with you today. We're going to drop a link to your Risen Motherhood article. It's called “Fear to Joy: A Daughter I Never Thought I Needed.” Thank you so much for being here. I pray for you and your family and sweet Blair. And I'm just grateful that I got a chance to talk to you today. 

Michelle: Thanks, Portia.

Portia: Wow, wow. Like I don't have the words y'all. But I do want to say this. You can serve women like Michelle. As you probably know, we are approaching our fiscal year end, and guess what? This is the perfect opportunity for you to serve women just like Michelle. You can give to Revive Our Hearts this month, and it goes toward our fiscal year end. Ultimately what you are doing is you're partnering in the mission to call women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ. 

You are really pointing them to biblical truth, gospel hope. And so, if you are prayerfully considering partnering with us in this way, we are going to drop a link in the chat in the episode notes where you can make your donation and help. I pray that the Lord leads you to give exactly what we need. 

All right, so remember, we say that we are fielding questions about priorities today. And let me let you in on a little secret. Y'all are bringing the questions okay. I can't even keep up. I've been trying to look and see as they're coming in. Dannah and Erin, y'all don't have to worry about not having enough questions, because we got it. All right. I'm gonna be organizing them forn Erin in just a few moments. But first, Dannah is going to get us grounded in God's Word.

Dannah: That's right, for sure. If you have your Bibles, go ahead and turn to John 15. I am turned there, but sadly, I will not be reading from it because my goat, Cindy Lou Who, ate John 15 out of my Bible . . . love that girl. But thankfully, I have John 15 memorized. 

I want to ask you this question today: “Are you too busy?” Do you have friends or family members telling you have got to slow down? Are you just frustrated at the end of the day wondering, I know I did something, but what? I was so busy. 

Friend, questions like that, wrestling with that, that's no life for you. God hasn't called you to be busy. But I want to warn you to be careful about how you think about this problem and how you solve it. 

So many people today are turning to self-care as the ultimate answer. Even the Christian blogs and podcasts are so full of it, and we end feeling stressed, you need a day of self care. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all about a little bit of time at the spa or a walk in the park. 

I had the most wonderful Sabbath day yesterday riding my horses. But those things are not the end-all solution your heart needs. But there is something that is. 

You know, the reason I've been thinking about this a lot is because I am sometimes told, “Dannah, you're so busy.” And recently I've decided, “Hmm, no, I'm not busy. I'm fruitful.” A fruitful life is a responsible life. We have a lot to juggle. And since I live a fruitful life, that comes with responsibility and lots of juggling. 

Now, that doesn't mean you wear yourself out. The Lord has been speaking to me so much about the fact that I have not been faithfully practicing a Sabbath. And I did it yesterday, and it filled me up. 

The point is this: this is a complex conversation. There are nuances for each of us to consider. You need to be talking about this with girlfriends who know you and do life with you. But let me give you one way that you might answer the question. Am I too busy? 

Well, recently God's got me considering John chapter 15:5, “I am the vine you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do . . .” Can I hear it in the back row? “. . . nothing.” Yeah, you know that verse. Nothing. 

I gotta tell you what, I'm not working as hard as I do to get nothing done. But if you don't do what you do as an extension of your time with Jesus as an extension of abiding in Him, that's exactly what you're going to be doing. You're going to be living like a rat on a spinning wheel, running fast and getting nowhere. 

So what does it mean to abide? Well, if you read the first eleven verses of John 15, you'll see the word “abide” ten times. Now, that's a lot of abiding. So what does that mean? Well, it means to dwell, to stay, to remain to be present in Christ. Jesus says, “The God of the universe, the Savior of the world, the Lord of lords, the King of kings wants to be with you.” He wants to spend time with you. And how does He want to spend time? Well, here we see just how connected He wants us to be—like a vine and a branch. 

Now, I'm no vineyard owner. That's what they call the vineyard keeper. But I know this, if I detach that branch from the vine, no fruit. So, are you attached to the vine? Did you slow down today and talk to Jesus? I did. I had time with the Lord this morning. Now, not every day is an epic day. Not every day do I feel like I have a download of truth that I just have to pour out to everybody. But every day matters because it's remaining. Its abiding. It's staying. 

Yesterday, did you have time with the Lord? The day before? I can tell you that if you didn't, you're probably just busy. Been there, done that. 

If you see a pattern of your to-do list crashing out your time with Jesus, you might just be busy and not fruitful. 

In my busiest, hardest seasons, if I slow down and I spend time with Him . . . I mean times when there are babies in the NICU, grandbabies in the NICU, time when there are weddings to be planned on top of my career. When I slow down in those times, there's a peace under the chaos. Do you know what I'm saying? Have you felt that and experienced it, too? People are drawn to that. It's life giving. 

Every day, I try to wake up at 6:30 just to be with Jesus. The first word that I say is, “Jesus, I love You.” That's what makes me fruitful. 

You know what? When we were in the NICU with all those grandbabies, I was waking up at 6:30 even though I was bone tired and sometimes had prayed much through the night. I came into that NICU, not as an exhausted grandma as some of the other grandmas did. I came with my heart ready to help, not just my own daughter-in-law and my son, but everyone I met. The NICU was my mission field during that busy season. 

And because I was abiding, I was fruitful there. People would see me and just start talking and I listened. And then I prayed with them, advised them, encouraged them. I should have been falling apart and struggling with my own stuff, but I wasn't. I was falling into the arms of Jesus every morning, and He was carrying me. 

Do you know I'm talking about how you can be pressed to the max but because you do it with Jesus you feel . . . I was wrestling with the right word here. I think the word is not rested, but sustained by what? His love. 

In John 15:9, Jesus invites us to abide in My love. That's what we're abiding in. Don't just be busy, slow down today, prioritize your time with Jesus, let Him love you. It makes a difference. 

And then there's this: when I just let my calendar dictate whether or not I have time to spend with the Lord, I do turn into a busy woman. I have been that recently. There's no peace, and people receive that from me. Yeah, there's often bad fruit that comes out of this girl when she gets busy rather than fruitful. 

There are seasons where you don't get to set priorities, life sets them for you. And many times in those times, we do have too much to do—sick parents, to jobs, to get out of debt deadlines. But if Jesus is the center of your world, you can do even those periods of life and be fruitful. 

Friend, I hope you're fruitful. But if not today, tomorrow. His mercies are new. Start your day with Jesus. 

I hear our guest today had some really demanding things in her life. But I also heard that she was fruitful because she was abiding in Him. She was saying God, “Do you want me to have that stroller?” And she was asking Him to set it up for her. So that's such an example of how she had a need. But she was abiding in the presence of the Lord and it made a fruitful experience in your life. I loved it. 

You got some questions for us, girl.

Portia: Yes, we promised to get them to you. And yeah, I just don't even know where to start because it's so many, and they're such good questions. Let's start here from Stacey. It says how do you put your priorities in order so you don't get overwhelmed with them?

Erin: Overwhelm . . . that is a really prominent word, I think, with women and priorities. The way I do it might be differently than the way Dannah does it. But I systematize almost everything. I just did this with my house cleaning. You know, I have a busy house, lots to do, and I felt like the house owned me, I didn't own the house. 

And so I just prayed about it, and I systematized it. And now I do one room per day. The house is staying clean, and I'm less overwhelmed. I don't want to over spiritualize it, although I don't think you can over spiritualize anything, but I've been asking the Lord to order my days. He is a God of order. And so it really helped the overwhelm; it helped with systems for me, so I would just lean into some good systems. 

Portia: Yeah. 

Dannah: I think what you said there, Erin. Anytime we feel an emotion and overwhelm is an emotion, I think, a very complex female emotion. We should take those to Jesus. And it sounds like when you did, He gave you wisdom.

Erin: Absolutely.

Dannah: I love that.

Portia: Amen.

Erin: He cares about the details of our lives. And chronic overwhelm is something worth paying attention to. Life can be overwhelming. But chronic overwhelm is absolutely something I would take to the Lord and take to the wisdom of some wise Christian women in your life. Say, “I feel overwhelmed all the time about this. Can you help me sort through that?”

Portia: Absolutely. Good sage advice. All right, let's keep going. Valerie said this. I really love this question. Very practical. How do you manage to get meals cooked and home needs met as you do? Ministry careers, etc? 

Dannah: Well, you make it as easy as you can. 

Erin: Meal planning. 

Dannah: You make it as easy as you can. This week, I had to host many different things, and so they're all getting the same thing. They're all eating the same thing. They don't know that the person two nights earlier ate the same thing they're eating. But it was just one way that the meal meal prep could be simplified. 

Now, what do you do when you have to feed your family every single night? Well, now I actually have a meal service. It's a cheat, but I have the money to do that. Now, I didn't when my kids were younger, so I was the meal service. I would make my meals on Saturday mornings and put them in Ziploc bags in the freezer refrigerator. And then they go in the crock pot or they'd go in the oven the day up. But I mean, I only have fifteen minutes, twenty minutes, thirty minutes max to cook. So I have to use, as Erin said, systems.

Erin: Yeah, and this is an area where I would be, as in all of these, I'd be very, hyper aware of external expectations. I love to cook; it's my happy place. I would roll out these very elaborate meals every night if I could, if I had the capacity. I was doing that, and it was not feeling good to me, and I realized like that's an external expectation. My kids and husband are really quite happy with chicken fried rice, which takes me no time or with waffles and bacon, which takes me no time. 

When I have a day off, I'll cook the elaborate meal. But I would just be aware, ask yourself do a heart check, is this expectation coming from my actual family? Is this expectation coming from some version of womanhood that I've picked up along the way that is not rooted in Scripture? 

And again, I lean into systems. I was very overwhelmed by the constant food prep. As you can imagine, with four boys, it's constant. I established one night a week as cereal and game night, and it's everybody's favorite night, and we literally have cereal for dinner. We play Phase 10, and it's great. And it was a cheat for me that I needed a break in the middle of the week to stop cooking.

Dannah: And you create sweet memories in that cheat. 

Erin: Yeah. It's been a blessing. 

Portia: So I love to say it this way, fed is best. Everybody doesn't have to be a sourdough girly or homemade cornbread from scratch.

Dannah: I'm so glad you said that. I feel like I'm supposed to be on a sourdough bread. But I'm not. I didn't have time. 

Portia: That's okay, Dannah. That's okay. I love what you both said. Good. Good advice. Fed is best. Do what works for your family. Okay, here we go. Here's another good one, and this one hits me in the heart. How do you not idolize good things and productiveness. I just said this to Nancy this weekend at our Summit. I said, “The Lord is dealing with me because for so long, I had an idol of productivity.” And so give me what you got girls.

Erin: Go Dannah.

Dannah: Well, you think about this: Adam and Eve are brought into the world as the pinnacle of creation. We'll add them on the sixth day. And what happened on the seventh day? The first 24 hours of human life was spent in the rest of the Lord. And that for me as a Type A girl . . . Erin calls herself . . . what do you call yourself?

Erin: A double A 

Dannah: Double A girl. For me, the battle is constantly remembering that He created me to live in His rest, in His provision, in His productivity. My job is to receive that. That's my first job. And when I cut . . . .like yesterday, when I spent time in Sabbath, it was because I haven't been Sabbathing. I told Bob, one of the things is that we spend time in the presence of Jesus. Last week for like 12 hours, all we did was sit in the presence of Jesus as a staff, as a Revive Our Hearts staff. 

The Lord said to me, in the quiet of my heart, I want you to rest like this. I created you for a rhythm of rest every Sunday. When was the last time you did that? Well, it's been a while, and I was convicted of it. So I'm not the poster child for idolizing productivity and work. And the Lord is so gracious to let me continually push reset.

Erin: Yeah. I mean, I think the question/answer asker knows, because she used the words “I idol productivity.” 

Dannah: Yeah. 

Erin: I would take us back to the gospel. It's a heart shift, it may make no change in your actual, your operations of your life at all. But when you are producing to try and earn God's love and favor, that is one thing. When you are producing as an extension and a response to God's love and favor, that's a totally different thing, and it can only be felt in your heart.

The Lord does call us to be fruitful, as Dannah said. The Lord does call us to take up our cross and to live sacrificially and to serve others and to give beyond our own comfort level. And so we would be totally misrepresenting Scripture if we made it sound like, well, productivity doesn't matter at all, because we're supposed to be working towards the good of the kingdom.

Dannah: But you can’t put the cart in front of the horse.

Erin: You can, and man will you be exhausted. 

Portia: You will be struggling. You're riding the struggle bus. 

Erin: Absolutely. 

Dannah: Ask me how I know. 

Erin: Yeah. Same.

So what Dannah pointed us to is so true. Like, it has to come from a place of abiding, and when it doesn't, then it is an idol. And the Lord deals with our idols as He should. 

Dannah: Yeah.

Portia: One of the things really quickly that I found that helped me to identify my idol of productivity was when limitations were placed on me and how I responded to that.

Erin: Yes.

Portia: The Sovereign Lord knows everything that's happening in our life. So if a limitation comes, and you are like losing it, because you can't maintain that level of productivity that you once had, then you might be dealing with the night.

Erin: That’s the hard truth. I don't do a lot of math, but here's a little math formula that I write on my to-do list very often to try to remember: people greater than symbol projects (people>projects), people are greater than projects. It's hard to measure people-oriented productivity, but it's a very Jesus-like thing to do. So that's another idol killer. If you'll just lay down your agenda—I'm going to get this accomplished—and be others focused. We'll talk more about that in just a sec. 

Portia: Well, I wish we had time for more questions, but we don't because we have to hear from Erin Davis as she gets us grounded in God's Word. Look, I'm gonna take the liberty to maybe get in the chat over the next couple of days and respond to some of these. I may even pass them along to Dannah and Erin, and I can copy and paste their responses, because they're really good questions. We loved it, so thank you guys. Thank you guys for being good participants. Erin Davis, get us grounded in God's Word. 

Erin: Yes, we will do more episodes on this because you do have great questions, and we always love hearing from you. But I'm going to answer your questions with some questions. So as we begin to land the plane on this episode, I've got five questions straight from Scripture to help you and I orient our priorities. So, you might want to write these down. 

Question number one. And this speaks to what I just said. But am I planning from a place of response or reactivity? Am I planning my week, my day, from a place of response or reactivity? Every day and every season you can start from the place of knowing you are already fully known and deeply loved by God. That's never ever on the line. Don't take my word for it. 

Listen to 1 John 3:1, I'm going to read it from the New Living Translation. “See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children.” And that is what we are. Some translations talk about how He lavished His love on us. 

So when your worth is fully rooted in God's love, you can build your life from a place of security and response to His love. We keep mentioning we were away at a staff Summit this past week. And, you know, I expected the Lord to really speak to me about something I'd never thought of, or something that seemed very profound. And what He wanted to continually speak to me is, “I love you. I love you. I love you.” 

And point out what happens in my heart when I don't fully trust that. Because when you're insecure about God's love, it will show up in your priorities. Maybe you will orient your life to try to earn the approval of others. Guilty. Maybe you will heap too much on your plate. Maybe you will even heap too little on your plate out of anxiety. Trying to earn the love that God already freely gives. Maybe you'll be motivated by fear or shame. 

And listen, when it comes to priorities. There are no more terrible taskmasters than fear and shame. And so ask yourself, am I setting my priorities in response to the fact that I know I'm already fully loved, or in reaction to some false beliefs there? 

Question number two: Do I do all things for God's glory? Sure, God loves me. But what does that have to do with whether or not I should let my kids be in travel sports and the other mamas wrestle with that or whether I should work full time or part time or whether I should say yes to leading a Bible study? 

Listen to 1 Corinthians 10:31. “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all all it means all to the glory of God.”

Why did the Spirit choose the examples of eating and drinking as opportunities to give God glory in this passage? 

Well, I think He picked something seemingly mundane and something that everyone must do to help us break our habit. And we need to break this habit of separating things into spiritual and unspiritual. Your whole life, yes, your whole life, even when you eat and drink is an opportunity to give God glory. 

And if you think you're supposed to fill your life with only “spiritual things,” I'm putting in air quotes, if you're just listening to my voice, you may miss some really important priorities like: taking care of your body, rest, white space, that's margin. 

The question is not, “Is this okay?” Because I'm a Christian, Christians can have kids who play travel sports or not, Christians can have all kinds of different work rhythms. Come on, can we give each other some grace for that? All kinds of different gifts. And when we ask the wrong question, we get the wrong answer. 

So the wrong question is not, “Can I do this?” The right question is not, “Can I do this?” The right question is, “Does this activity, does this priority, provide an opportunity to give God glory?” And then you figure out how it does, and you operate in that? 

Question number three is a tough one for me. Am I prioritizing humbly? Portia alluded to this. You are finite. I am finite. Jason, my husband had the gall to say to me this morning, “Baby, you're human.” And I was like, “I don't like it when you say mean things like that to me, because I don't like my limitations.” You will never accomplish all that you want to accomplish, when you will never accomplish all that others want you to accomplish for them. Never ever, and I don't like that. 

But neediness is a pretty good starting point for establishing priorities. We don't know how to order our own lives, we need the Lord's input, and we always will. And we also need the input of other people who love us and want to see us living a holy God-honoring life. 

Just this weekend, I sent out a shotgun blast text to several women in my life. Dannah and Portia included, but also some people that live in my town and go to my church. I asked them some very specific questions about my priorities. I did not want to send that text. I did not want to read the responses. But I know that I cannot order my own life. I need humility. I need input from others. 

Now that can get a little tricky because sometimes people give you input that isn't wise and isn't helpful. So you’ve got to be strategic here. But some questions: Does anyone have access to your calendar? Is there anyone in your life that you show them your calendar and you ask for their input? 

If someone questioned your priorities, would you bristle, or would you listen? Are you living within your physical limitations? Lord, make us humble. 

Question number four: Are my priorities others oriented? As Dannah told you, I am a type double A achiever. And because of that, every day I have to remind myself of that little formula people over projects. Philippians 2:3 drives a really sharp nail into the coffin of me-oriented priorities. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit but in humility, count others more significant to than yourselves.”

Do nothing. This is a pretty hard line that Scripture is drawing for us. Nothing from selfish ambition. That's important, because you will wake up every morning and orient your life according to your priorities if you're not careful, and so will I. 

Don't just stop there. The rest of that verse is, “in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Right priorities can rarely be set in stone, because they require us to plan our lives for the good of others. My flesh rises up against this every single day. These children of mine who I would jump in front of a bus for without a second thought, but they better not ask me to do something for them that I didn't have planned to do for them. Right? I want to set the agenda. 

It occurred to me last week that my family is not inside my head, aware of my agenda, and trying to wreck it. They have an agenda of their own, and I have an agenda of my own, and we humbly defer to each other. 

When we become rigid in establishing our priorities, we often forget to prioritize others. You can say your husband is your priority. But unless you actually defer to his needs for the day, his agenda, perhaps his interruptions, he's not really your priority. You can claim your children are your number one priority, but if their time is seen as less valuable than your own, or the way that you love them needs to fit in your predetermined schedule or idea; order is the priority, not your children. 

My mom woke up every single day . . . she really did live like this. She woke up every single day and she asked the Lord, “Who do You want me to love today?” Loving others was her priority, and it led to a beautiful life of constant interruptions.

Last question, question number five. Do you recognize your time as a precious commodity to be stewarded? We all need Ephesians 5:15–16 stamped on our foreheads. This takes us back to what Dannah pointed out at the top of the episode. Let me read it to you Ephesians 5:15–16. “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” 

Walk wisely. Make the best use of the time that you can with the empowerment and enabling of the Holy Spirit. Why? Why does this even matter? Because the days are evil, because our enemy is evil. He would love to have you claim Christ and prioritize everything other than Christ every day of your life. 

We're only given twenty-four hours in each day. And those twenty-four hours are a finite and precious gift. You and I are called not just to spend them, not just even to plan them, not just to prioritize them. We are given them as gifts to steward. This is a stewardship conversation ultimately.

Notice, I didn’t say how you should school your children is the issue here, although that's important. Or how many hours each week you should work, that's important. Or how many extracurriculars your particular family can handle? I didn't say how many vacations you should take. I didn't say how long your time in the Word should be each day. There's a reason for that. 

I am going to lean in and say this right to your eyeballs, my eyeballs to yours. Balance is not a biblical word. We're always striving for balance. I don't see that anywhere in Scripture. But as Dannah pointed out, abide is. In the Christian life, we should feel out over our skis a lot. We should feel beyond our own abilities, we should feel uncomfortable. That makes us cling to Jesus. 

So there's no sample schedule in Scripture. God is gracious. He's not asked us to make this look the exact same in every life in every season. Setting priorities is far more a heart issue than a time issue. And so, we need the Spirit of God at work in us every single day far more than we need a new day planner. 

And so, I just want to end this segment with a short prayer from Psalm 90, verse 12. Maybe it's something you would write down and meditate on today. And as you think about the things we've talked about in this episode, this is that verse, “So teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom.” 

Portia: Amen. Erin Davis, amen, teach us to number our days. This has been a jam-packed episode, and I'm gonna jam pack it even more. We got the good stuff to give to you. 

I want to remind you that our first online event is coming up on June 4—“When You Love a Prodigal.” We've got a good group of people. It's gonna be hosted by our very own Erin Davis. It's gonna include some people with sage advice: Mary Kassian, Christopher and Angela Yuan. I mean, there are so many different names that are coming to my mind. And so, this first event is coming up on June 4. 

And guess what? When you register, you can watch the playback up until May 2025. We're going to drop a link so you can check out all of our online events. But I really hope to see your face in place on June 4. Alright? 

Dannah: It’s going to be a great one. Well, we promised you some news at the end of this episode. And we are here. This is the news. The Grounded team is taking a summer break. We will have no live episodes for June, July, and August. But, we will be repackaging, reproducing, and reairing some of our best content so that you will continue to be mentored, encouraged, grounded in God's Word through the summer months. This decision didn't come without a lot of prayer, did it, Erin?

Erin: No, we thought hard about it. We prayed a lot about it. We talked about it in our team. And we really felt like we wanted to lead the way in living like we call you to live. 

Portia and my kids are coming home for summer break—mine this week. P., I don't know when Emmy’s done.

Portia: She’s home now.

Erin: She's home now. Okay, and we want to walk out the things we talked about. Dannah has had a very busy ministry season. She needs to pour into her grands and some other priorities. We just want to take a break. We love you. We will miss being with you. But we have thought a lot about it and prayed a lot about it. We want to live the things we say here on Grounded, so we're going to take a summer break.

Dannah: Not a hard decision at all when you put it through the grid of prayer. 

Erin: Yeah, you’re right. 

Dannah: It really is important. Going all through the year with all the different podcasts and things that we do. There has to be some space in there where we say this season looks a little different so that I can have more time to abide in Christ and in the people He's entrusted to me most to impact. And so that's why we wanted to talk to you about priorities today.

Erin: Yep. You can be praying for us. I mean, we want to steward this season well. We want to follow God's priorities in the rest, and in the having our kids at home and all of those things. So pray for us. And as Dannah has said, we've got great stuff coming your way. Yeah, you're probably not even gonna miss us because you'll see our faces. 

Dannah: Pray for us this afternoon because this afternoon we are doing all the work we need to do to bring you custom content. It's not that we totally get a bye on all of the work that needs to be done. But it definitely is less work. I think you're gonna be excited about the program. I’m so excited about the first program that comes out in June. It's one of my favorites. 

Erin: It’s all good stuff. Thank you for just the grace to do that. We want you to know we'll be back with enthusiasm in September. Next week, we know it's Memorial Day, but we'll be here with Stacy Riak. She's gonna help us think about our body image biblically. So, let's wake up with hope together next week on Grounded.

Portia: Grounded is a listener supported production of Revive Our Hearts calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ

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