How to Respond to Criticism (Without Being Cheesy), with Molly Sanborn

Criticism. Cancel culture. Ghosting. How do you stand tall when you’re being treated unfairly? Find out in this episode of Grounded with guest Molly Sanborn. You’ll learn how to turn to Scripture for courage, and you’ll be challenged to respond to criticism like Christ did.

Connect with Molly

Instagram: @cheeseballchick
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cheeseballchick
Website: https://craigandmolly.com/

Episode Notes

• Cheese Balls for Jesus book by Molly Sanborn: https://amzn.to/3YVdvE5
• Watch Molly's viral video: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpvdVaqgrBH/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
• Heaven Rules book and discussion guide by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: https://www.reviveourhearts.com/donate/heaven-rules-and-guide/

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Dannah Gresh: According to one survey, 48 percent of Christian leaders feel they're being severely punished by cancel culture. But you don't have to be a leader to feel the criticism. Just post something on social media and you could be disinvited, excluded, shut down, or bullied. It happened to today's guest. I'm Dannah Gresh. This is Grounded.

Portia Collins: I'm Portia Collins. And we're here to give you two things we love: hope and perspective. 

Dannah: Yeah.

Portia: We definitely need it when it comes to criticism. I'll be the first to say that I need hope and perspective. When I have been criticized by the culture each day or the headlines tell of another believer being canceled . . . In fact, Dannah, you got some of those headlines?

Dannah: I do. I actually printed some out this weekend. Yeah, this one's from a 2018 headline: “Virginia Teacher Fired for Refusing to Call Transgender Student by Male Pronouns.”

Lots of that going around. And here's an article let's see about a pastor who Meta (that's the new name for Twitter) shut down for posting a sermon titled “Woke or Awake.” But I think my favorite that I found this weekend was Phil Robertson. He's the cantankerous guy from Duck Dynasty. He got canceled from his own show for expressing some of his religious beliefs in a public interview, huh? We're talking about freedom of speech first rights amendments here. 

Portia: I'm telling you, and you know, the culture unfortunately is not playing with us. It's hard to know what to do or how to respond. And so, the question we want to ask today is, (remember those little bracelets I had in high school?) what would Jesus do? W.W.J.D. I don't know if you guys know about that. But we used to wear these bracelets in high school. 

And so that is how we're framing our conversation today. What would Jesus do? How would Jesus respond? Erin Davis is going to take us into God's Word. and she is going to give us four powerful words to remember the next time you are being criticized.

Dannah: That's right. And now about today's guest, she has felt the pain of criticism in what I think we can call a unique way. I don't know how to make this hard turn because we're talking about criticism, but there are cheese balls involved. We're talking buckets of cheese balls, not just like a small little bowl, but a bucket of cheese balls at the Red Sea. Social media got her into a whole bunch of trouble. 

Now, it's hard to describe. But she strapped these cheese balls on her back. And at the Sea of Galilee she made a video that went viral, and not in a good way. She's here to share what she learned and to help us be ready to stay grounded in the Word when criticism comes.

Portia: Well, I can't wait to hear this story. I can't wait for you guys to hear this story. This is a must hear and a must share episode, so go ahead and hit share. But you’ve got to remember this is a time for us as believers to join arms together to learn how to respond to cancel culture in a godly manner. So, share the episode and buckle up. We've got a good one.

Dannah: That's right. And I do need to start out by saying in spite of criticism, there are some really great things happening to Christians throughout the world. So, before we get cheesy today, let's go to Erin Davis here for some good news. Erin Davis, you got something for us?

09:15 - Good News (with Erin)

Erin Davis: I am expecting maybe Guinness World Records to call an event because I think we might be the first podcast ever to put “cheese balls” and the “Sea of Galilee” in a single sentence. I think we're breaking barriers here on Grounded. This is a story you're gonna want to hear before we get to that interview. 

You know, if you already turned on the regular news this morning, or you rolled out of bed and started scrolling on your phone, maybe you keep the TV going while you're brewing your coffee, you might be tempted to think what in the world is God doing. But here on Grounded, we ask a very different question. We like to ask, what is God doing in the world because we know that He is good, and He does good. And if we just have eyes to see it, there is good news. 

So, I want to turn your attention this morning to Venezuela, where women have been participating in Mujer Verdadera (that's True Woman in Spanish) events over the past several months. 

A sister there wrote to us with this good news. “We held the first Mujar Verdadera activity as part of the International Women's Day celebration March 11.” You get that women being celebrated around the globe and often that is attached to feminist ideologies and things that don't line up with God's Word.

But she says, “We chose to celebrate it by hosting Mujar Verdadera, True Woman. It was standing room only in the venue with 100 plus women. Our second event was in May.” She said, Our third event later in May culminated near midnight. Exhaustion was left aside when we saw the brokenness, repentance, and convictions the Word produced. Our fifth event was broadcast live. In total, we have had seven meetings here in Venezuela, all free to women.” 

Can you picture it? Our sisters in South America, praising God crying out to Him, repenting until midnight. When was last time you were at a prayer meeting that went that late? 

She wrote, “There are not enough words to express my gratitude to the Lord for such a great privilege and for His grace and allowing us in spite of our very limited context to take the biblical gospel to many women. We see a faithful God who sustains His Church so that it may continue to be salt and light in these challenging times for women's identity, and God's design for our lives. Thank you for all the support, our arms are strengthened by your prayers.”

If you know anything about what's happening in Venezuela in recent years, you know that this is amazing. And so, as we head into how we deal with criticism, how we respond to cancel culture, this is something that we really need to remind each other of, and ladies, this is why we're here Monday after Monday. God is at work. God is at work in Venezuela. God is at work everywhere. God is turning hearts to Him. God is stirring hearts to pray, to cry out to Him even until the middle of the night if that's what it takes. God is at work. Cancel culture is at work sure, but God is at work. We think that is good news, and we hope you do too. 

Dannah: That is very good news Erin Davis. Friend, if you're tempted to ask what in the world is God doing? Try looking to see what is God doing in the world. Love that thought from Erin Davis. 

12:29 - Grounded with God's People (Molly Sanborn)

Well, buckle up because it is time to get grounded with God's people. And we're going to buckle up with a woman who buckles up a little differently. Friends, get ready to meet a bucket of joy who comes with a bucket of cheese balls. Molly Sandborn is a speaker for FamilyLife Today's Weekend to Remember Hello there, Molly. 

Molly Sandborn: Hey. 

Dannah: Okay.

Molly: I brought my cheese balls.

Dannah: You did bring your cheese balls. Can you explain? You have to, okay. You blew my mind there, but I think you create a dispenser out of a cheese ball bucket. Is this correct? 

Molly: Yeah. So, I'm holding up, for those of you listening, a giant container of cheese balls and it also has a backpack that I wear. 

Dannah: That’s how you strap it on.

Molly: Yes, I made a dispenser. Let's see. There we go. Then you pull this contraption, you pull the dispenser or you pull the PVC pipe and a cheese ball comes out. There we go. I'll eat those later. Can I go with a backstory? 

Dannah: That is okay. I would love to hear the backstory. But why did you create a dispenser? Is it just because you have nothing to do? You're a bored woman. There really must be a reason why you did that?

Molly: Yes, absolutely. So, I did not wake up one morning and say I want to carry snacks on my back. I was actually speaking at a youth conference in Virginia. I'm from Minnesota, and I was given a container of cheese balls just to bring back to Minnesota, and they wouldn't fit in my luggage. So, I carried them through the airport. And as I walked through the airport with this giant container of cheese balls, everyone I passed would laugh and smile and talk to me. It was the best conversation starter; I was not even looking for that to happen. 

Then I get through the security checkpoint. The security guards are cracking cheesy jokes. I thought they were going to take them because they got stalled in the X-ray machine. Then I get on the plane, and I'm sitting in my seat holding my cheese balls because you know, they wouldn't fit anywhere else. And over the intercom. The flight attendant says, “Ladies and gentlemen, if any of you're hungry, there's a cheeseball lady with snacks and aisle 9D.” Everyone was laughing and smiling. 

It started conversations because people would say, “Why do you have cheese balls?” 

And I'd say, “Oh, just because I was given them at a conference I was speaking at.” 

And then they'd say, “What were you speaking on?” 

And I'd say, “Jesus.”

So it was cheese balls to Jesus in ten seconds. I didn't have to even start the conversation. I went home and told my friends and family the story because I had some significant experiences like in the Chicago O'Hare Airport and my connecting flight. I got to invite a woman to church who came with me, and it started with cheese balls. 

Dannah: Wow.

Molly: One of my friends said you should carry cheese balls around and see how God uses it. And I was like, that's kind of awkward, but I'm not one to turn down a dare. So one thing led to the next. (I'm skipping a lot of fun details.) But I ended up creating a backpack and with the help of Home Depot Jim, who's become a very good friend. And my brother, we invented the sanitary cheese ball dispenser. And this is like over 200 cheese ball dispensers. Dannah, they've been to thirty-four states and nine countries. I wore them on my first date with my husband.

Dannah: So he met you as the Cheese Ball. Lady.

Molly: Yes. It was like a blind date. I saw my cheese balls in the back of my car. And it was like the still small voice of the Holy Spirit, “You gotta be yourself.” 

And I was like, “Oh, this is so embarrassing.” 

But yeah, I wore them and they broke the ice. He ate a cheese ball, and the rest is history.

Dannah: And now you're married. Well, okay. How was it that you came to be criticized for the cheese balls? Because it sounds to me like everybody loves you, that you're just the cheese ball lady. So how did it turn into criticism?

Molly: That's what I thought too. It was about two-and-a-half years ago. I felt the Lord asking me to post daily videos on social media under the username “Cheeseball Chick.”
I really hesitated for a while because like, I'm a homeschool mom, I'm a speaker. “I don't have time for this, Lord.” 

And He was like, “Yes, do it.” 

And I did. And He's blessed it so much. I just share Scripture and stories and fun things to draw people in to tell them the truth. 

I went to Israel with my husband and a group last March, and I filmed videos all throughout Israel, just kind of summarizing about the biblical sites. I usually didn't have the cheese balls with me and those shots because I didn't want to be a total distraction and slow down the tour group. 

But there were a couple of times I had the cheese balls in a video. One of them was standing in the Sea of Galilee. I wish I was standing on the Sea of Galilee. But I did not walk on water like Jesus did. It was like a short video, and I'm wearing my cheese ball backpack. 

I said we're at the Sea of Galilee where Jesus walked on water, and then I dispensed a cheese ball, threw it in the air, and caught it in my mouth. I posted it and went on with my life. I came home from Israel, totally jet lagged, reuniting with my kids, started home school, and got ready to speak out of town like a few days later. 

And my phone is blowing up with friends telling me, “Have you seen your video from the Sea of Galilee?” It's everywhere! Someone took it and reposted it. And by the way, some people are not saying nice things. 

And of course, I did go look right? I made the mistake and went and read some of these comments. I like to think I'm a trusting person. I like to think the best about people. So, I just couldn't have ever imagined some of the things that people said that I won't even repeat. But it would appear that people saw the cheese balls, saw that I was a Christian. Then that was reposted on some sites that make fun of Christians, and I just became a punching bag. I was sworn at. Told to go to hell. People would then go to my website and find out that my husband and I do marriage speaking and that I also talked about sexual integrity. Then people are making all kinds of assumptions and making really crude, evil comments. 

Dannah: Yeah.

Molly: The crazy thing is that there were way more positive comments than negative, really truly. And through that video, a ton of people found my pages. There's just so many God stories through that. But the part that I really struggled with were those mean comments. It was really hard.

Dannah: Yeah sure. And most of us have been there at some point. Yeah, it could just be posting about something simple on your social media feed, and suddenly it blows up for you. What would Jesus do? What did you figure that out? What have you learned and gleaned from how to respond to criticism through this?

Molly: I just craved the truth from God's Word. And so, I went to Scripture and then this way said, I said, Okay, how did Jesus respond when He was falsely accused when He was made fun of and ridiculed. And you know, He often did. These are all my tabs that are just the verses that God spoke to me during that time. It says in its Matthew 26, right, where He's before Pilate, and he didn't say anything. He actually didn't defend Himself in that moment. 

That was really helpful to me. I needed to remember that God knows who I am. God knows what I've been called to, and I don't need to defend myself. 

In fact, yesterday, I was reading with a friend the Gospel of John. I'm going through John with a neighbor, and it's been so sweet and special. We are John 8, and I highlighted this verse that had never stuck out to me before. Jesus was accused by the Pharisees of being demon possessed. And it says in verse 14, “I know where I came from, and where I am going.” And I’m like, “Ooh, Jesus, that is good.” 

When people say things against us that may or may not be true, but in this case, not true. To know who you are, and whose you are, where you came from, and where you're going, this world is not our home, right? First, it's in Peter, that we're strangers and aliens. And then I just soaked up all the Scripture in 1 Peter, chapters 3 and 4 that remind us that if we're followers of Jesus, we should not be surprised. It says in 1 Peter 4:12, that at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you as though something strange were happening to you. And then it says, “If you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.” 

I remember when one comment I read said, “This is fun making fun of her. She's worthy of the mockery.” That hurt at first. But then I read these Scriptures that said, “I'm blessed.” Matthew 5 says, “When you're insulted, you're blessed.” And in 1 Peter 3:14, says, “If you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed.” 

So, I was telling my husband yesterday . . . I was so excited to share the Scriptures and what God taught me. And then he said, “Babe, don't forget how rough it was for you. Like, make sure that you share that this was hard.” It wasn't just read the Bible and like, “Yay, I'm good.” It was meditating on God's Word, memorizing it. I have a whole list on my phone of all of these Scriptures. I would go to bed reading and sometimes I'd be crying because it was hurtful. But God just gave me peace over time. I'm so thankful for His Word.

Dannah: Yeah, me too. You said that sometimes we want to say anything, sometimes silence. As an author who writes a lot about sexuality, I get some criticism, sometimes public, sometimes letters. I try to respond to each and every one as directly as I can, because I never know what's going on in their heart. It might be an opportunity, but sometimes you don't respond to publicly defend yourself. You let the Lord do that, knowing who you are. Yeah, those are really good pieces of advice. 

I would also say sometimes my husband's my good coach, too. He'll say, “Baby, what about this is true? And what is an area where you need to grow and the Holy Spirit is giving you a pretty rough way to see it. But can you see it so it doesn't happen again? And what of it? Do you need to let go of it and just let the Lord tackle it? There's a learning curve for us as Christians sometimes which we don't always want to admit.

Okay, before we close today, I do have to ask this question. I think this is important. Do you have any advice about cheese balls for us?

Molly: Well, the serving size is 32 cheeseballs. So, I mean, that's a lot of cheese balls. I would say they're gluten free. 

Dannah: That’s good to know. Yeah. So, you can eat a lot of cheese balls, and you're still within one serving.

Molly: Exactly because my dispenser on average dispenses two cheese balls. So people could get dispensed a lot of cheese balls. For me, it's like in moderation.

Dannah: You realize this conversation is just putting us out there for more criticism. 

Molly: Right. 

Dannah: But the point is this, I love that you have joy, Molly. I love that you have joy, because I think sometimes Christians don't have enough joy. When I look at how the Jews celebrated in the streets with dancing and rejoicing, I don't think Christian evangelicals, modern believers get it. 

So, I'm happy that you tossed a cheese ball in the air and enjoyed it in the Sea of Galilee. Because I know you were also in the Word and you were praying, and you were with believers and fellowshipping. But when we do face criticism, we have to get in the Word. That's what I'm hearing you say? 

Molly: Yes, absolutely. It's if you could see spread around, we are posted notes with probably 20 different Scriptures, which I'm not going to have time to share. 

But really quick one that just stuck out to me recently was what Hezekiah did when the king of Assyria came against him basically taunting, making fun of God, making fun of him as the king, telling the Israelites don't put your faith in God, or Hezekiah. I love what Hezekiah did. He took the letter, the bad news, the criticism that said basically we're gonna come beat you up. And he brought it to the temple and laid it out before the Lord. 

So when my phone was blowing up with comments that I didn't even want to read, and I was tempted to stop posting encouraging videos because I didn't want to do it anymore. I took my phone and I literally put it on the ground as I laid down with my face on the ground. I was crying because I'm a words person and words are powerful. And I said, “God, take care of this. I need You to do that. Teach me. Guide me. Grow me.” I have grown so much through this. 

And it goes back to just learning what does God's Word say about this? And that's the best thing that we can do when we're criticized. To also say what is true. I love that because sometimes the criticism hurts, but it's true. And we need to adjust and make changes, right?

Dannah: Yeah, exactly. Molly, remind me again of what your handle is on social media so we can follow you, Cheese Ball Chick?

Molly: That's right. It's a Cheese Ball Chick. Yep.

Dannah: Cheese Ball Chick, easy to remember about anywhere. Molly Sanborn is the author of a new book titled Cheese Balls for Jesus. She tells a cheese ball story and a whole lot of other encouraging stories that take you to God's Word. They're heartwarming and hilarious, God stories. Get a copy wherever books are sold. Molly, thanks for being with us today.

Molly: Thank you for having me, Dannah

Dannah: Hey, Erin, as you come on, I want to say. It's an interesting thing, because it wasn't talking about homosexuality or abortion or politics or a tough topic. 

Erin: Yeah.

Dannah: But it still kind of brought us into that territory where you're criticized for simply that you are a believer, and you're jumping about a cheese ball. There really wasn't a lot of room to be critical. So, take us into the Word of God. Give us those four words that will help us stand tall against every accusation.

27:23 - Grounded in God's Word (with Erin)

Erin: You got it. I'm ready to deliver them. Four words and they are going to help you stand tall no matter what anybody says about you. They will help you stand tall against every cruel thing said to you or about you, no matter how your reputation gets tarnished. When your dearest friend starts ghosting you, you're gonna reach for these. Are you ready? 

Here they are. “God is my defender.”

Molly said it. And it is true. There's something inside every single one of us that longs for justice, me included. And so, when we are wronged when, as Molly said, people were saying wicked things against her. Of course something inside of her cried out to God as she did and said, “God, this isn't fair; make this right.” We want our unfair critics to be put in their place, preferably quickly, right? 

And no matter how things seem from where you sit today, you can know beyond a shadow of a doubt whether it seems like justice has ever happened . . . Now, Molly didn't say all of those mobs repented and came to Christ and sent her long apology letters. To date that hasn't happened. 

But she can know and you can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God sees all, He knows all, and He will defend you. Scripture says as the name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run into it and we're safe. He is our defense. 

Now, likely that will be in the ultimate sense. It doesn't mean that the day your critic voiced their criticism that fire came down from heaven and swallow them whole. And we don't even really want that for our critics. Does that mean that God has called us to a life of passivity? Are we just supposed to say God has this and sit back and do nothing? I wish. That would actually be easier than what Scripture calls us to. 

The cross we are called to carry in the face of criticism is much heavier than that. Consider Luke chapter 6. I'm going to read us verses 27–31. But I say to you who hear, not everybody's going to hear this. Jesus knows that ,but he says, 

But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tuniceither. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

You're not just supposed to know what God's Word says about you, although you are. You're not just supposed to maybe resist the urge to say something back to your critic. No, here in Luke chapter 6, Jesus calls us His followers to actively love our harshest critics. 

Now, I hear a lot of talk about boundaries, and certainly boundaries can be healthy. But we need to make sure those boundaries align with God's Word, and God's Word draws the boundaries much differently than we do. And this passage, Jesus says we're supposed to actively seek to bless our accusers. We're supposed to pray for those who abuse us. 

I think of the imprecatory Psalms. If you haven't ever heard of those before, get a good concordance and look them up. David wrote them, and they are “getting him, God” prayers. He says, “Smite my accusers.” And then he doesn't tie a sweet bow on the end of them. He's asking the Lord for justice. And that is true. It is okay to pray that way. But we're also supposed to actively love them and seek to do them good. 

Don't miss the golden rule in that passage right there in verse 31. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. You ever criticize somebody unfairly? You ever say something about them that you didn't mean? Yeah, me too. And I hope that they will forgive me, and give me grace, and actively love me. And that's what your accuser needs from you, too. 

I had to wrestle with this this weekend. I knew I was going to be teaching about it, and I'm living it. I am confident that many of you are living it. I gotta say that where this hurts the most, many of Molly's accusers were mad at her just because she's a Christian, assuming they were not Christians. 

And so of course, we expect light to be at odds with darkness. We expect good to be at odds with evil. But where this really hurts is when it's friendly fire, when it's the children of God taking shots at each other. I have one of those in my life right now. And the criticism towards me seems a) unfair and b) relentless. And here's what I want to say in my flesh. I'm done. I'm just done. I don't have to talk back to you. We don't have to argue about it, but I'm just done. 

And as I read this passage in Luke 6, God has convicted me and called me out of passivity and toward activity. You know, what I'm done is its passive / aggressive behavior. And you know what passive aggressive behavior is. It’s aggressive / aggressive behavior, and we don't ever see it modeled in Jesus.

No one ever modeled this more profoundly than our Savior. Consider Isaiah 53:7. Molly nodded to this:

He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
   yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
   and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
so he opened not his mouth.

How could Jesus endure all that was said and done to Him without even opening His mouth to defend Himself? I'll take us back to those four powerful words. “God is my defender.” 

He knew without a doubt that His accusers would face God's judgment for what they've done. And that is what propelled Him to the cross. It's not that He was like, ‘They're gonna get it. I know they're gonna get it. My Father is going to take care of them.”

He looked at them like sheep without a shepherd and had compassion because He knew apart from His sacrifice what they would face and He bore it so that they. Talk about blessing those who curse you. 

And what did Jesus do as He hung on the cross? He prayed for those who abused Him. 

I do want to take a note here that Scripture does not command us to always be silent. There are times when the righteous must stand up to evil, and we have to use our words to do it. 

There are other times when speaking of only puts fuel on an unholy fire, and it requires discernment to know the difference. I can't tell you which one you should do today to face your critics. You’ve got to abide. You’ve got to ask the Lord. You’ve got to discern. 

But as you do that, you can trust that Jesus has been right where you are unfairly criticized. 

I cannot promise that your critics will be silenced today. Unfortunately, I don't think mine will be either. I cannot promise you that the family member who can only seem to see you in the worst possible light will be enlightened before the next family gathering. I offer you no false hope that an apology is coming your way or that you won't face criticism tomorrow. 

Here's what I have to offer you, and it is sufficient. One last verse, Revelation 21:5. He who is seated on the throne, that crucified Savior, “And he who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’”

Eventually, all critics will cease. There's a new heaven, a new Jerusalem coming. And we won't be walking around plagued by sin, and we won't take shots at each other. But that's a future hope. 

Robert Wolgemuth once told me this. He said he learned from his mama. “Criticism and praise are all manure. You till them under the soil of your heart and you ask God to grow something from them. 

Your Defender will do more than defend you. He will wipe the slate clean, ushering us into a new heavenly reality. We're dealing with friendly and unfriendly fire. It will be gone forever. Until then, when they curse, we bless. When they persecute, we pray. And when it seems like the whole world is against us, we remember it really was against Jesus. And we ask Him to make us more like Him.”

I know I taught longer than I was supposed to. I'm not gonna apologize for it. Because these are the things I need to hear; you need to hear. And you know what else we need? We need to pray for each other because I know I cannot resist criticism like Jesus in my flesh. I gotta be empowered by the Spirit, and you do too. 

So, for every Grounded sister that right now feels like she is in the crossfire of unnecessary criticism, I'm going to reach my hand toward you. I'm going to pray.

Jesus, we love You. Thank You for all that You endured for our sake. Thank You that as Molly reminded us, people said You were demon possessed. You who even the demons hear your name and they shutter, thank You that they said that You were a fool. And You took it. Thank You that they mocked You said You were the King, and You didn't open your mouth, even though you're the King of kings. 

Lord, I pray for myself. I pray for my sisters who are facing criticism right now that isn't fair. It's not fair. It's not true. Our flesh wants to rise up with balled fists. God, we walk by the Spirit. Help us to respond to that criticism in ways that are holy, and show that our hope is ultimately You. Show us what it means to run into the strong tower of Your character today and be safe. We love You. We want to live our lives for You even when that's really really hard. It's in Your name I pray. Amen. 

Portia: Amen, amen. I hope that all of our Grounded sisters are getting where we're going with this. And it's that we don't look at the criticism. We look up to God in heaven. God is my defender. I love it, so thank you. 

Erin: I mean, I love alliteration. So, let's say this way, we don't look at the criticism. We look at the cross because that's where we see. That's how we see how to do it. Jesus modeled it for us.

Portia: I almost took my shoe off. All right. 

Erin: Oh, man. 

Portia: I'm gonna hold it. Thank you, Erin Davis, thank you so much.

Well, if Erin's four words are too much for you to utter in the middle of fierce waves of criticism, then I've got two words that you can hang on to. You ready? You probably already know them. “Heaven rules.” 

Last year in September, we gathered together for the True Woman conference and we all declared that Heaven rules—that God is sovereign over our circumstances, over its chronic health over criticism. God is sovereign over everything, heaven rules. And many of you went home with this little book, Heaven Rules. And guess what? This month we are bringing it back. You can grab your copy of Heaven Rules, plus a brand-new discussion guide that is designed to accompany the book. And don't worry, if you've already got a copy of Heaven Rules, then this is your opportunity to grab a copy for a friend or family member. 

I am sure that they need to hear and need to rest in that truth that heaven rules, we would love to send you a copy of Heaven Rules plus to the discussion guide when you make a donation of any amount to Revive Our Hearts this month. And did I mention that Heaven Rules  is also available in English or Spanish. You can choose which one you'd like to receive. Head on over to ReviveOurHearts.com and make your gift today.

Erin: I got my copy, Portia, hot off the presses. Here is the discussion guide. So, this has actually been something my women's Bible study group has been talking a lot about: facing criticism, friendly fire within our families, there's a lot going on. And if you've got that in your group, which you do, because you're all humans, this idea that Heaven rules is so helpful. It's about the life of Daniel. You want to talk about somebody who faced some criticism. 

Dannah: Yeah.

Erin: Daniel did, and he did it with a tremendous amount of integrity. So I don't know, I thought I might be bummed after this episode, a little bit fearful of canceled culture, but none of that at all. I feel ready to face it.

Dannah: You know, designing this program we asked the question, “What would Jesus do?” And as I was listening to everything, and we kind of touched on a handful of ways that Jesus responded to criticism, and there's actually like to add one. One of the things we see Him doing when He was criticized was using it as a teaching platform.

Erin: Absolutely. 

Dannah: I feel like that has to rise out of love. If it doesn't rise out of love, it's not a fruitful teaching platform, right? It's a punitive platform. So, the answer to what would Jesus do is He would do whatever the Father told Him to do. 

Erin: That's right.

Dannah: Which means we have to get in the Word. Erin, I was deeply convicted. Today, I have someone who is a believer, publicly criticizing me saying some really untruthful things, taking things I've said out of context. Like Molly, I can't use some of the language that they've used. It's too inflammatory, and it would need some time to unpack. But I haven't been praying for her. And if we don't start there, any response is going to be out of our own flesh. Because what would Jesus do whatever the Father told Him to do, so unless you start with prayer, you're probably not going to have the right response. 

Erin: That’s so good. Also, I'm convicted. I was convicted before this episode, that same thing. I have started praying, and it's okay to pray those “get them God” prayers. We see that model in Psalms, but then I've started praying like elaborately bless her, make her marriage flourish, make her children flourish, like starting to desire God's best for her. It's good and God uses it. 

So you're convicted to let us know part of what we do here as we hold each other accountable to us. 

Dannah: Tell us we're not alone up here.

Erin: Tell us we're not alone. We're not the only ones operating in flesh, but I love that thought. Let's leave with that. Do whatever the Father tells you. 

Dannah: Alright, I am so excited for next week. We have the one, the only Gary Chapman with us. He is one of my favorite authors. You know him as the author of Five Love Languages. He's going to help us tackle one of my favorite topics, helping us build healthier families.

Portia: Love it. Me and Mikhail were just talking about love languages, so I'm super excited for Gary Chapman to be here. And in the meantime, let's wake up with hope together next week on Grounded. 

Erin: Grounded audio is powered by Skype. Grounded is a production of Revive Our Hearts calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ .

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