Leaving a Legacy of Hope, with Colleen Chao

What does it look like to build a legacy of faith? Find out in this special summer episode of Grounded featuring guest Colleen Chao. Colleen is suffering with terminal cancer, but even as she faces a terminal diagnosis, she illustrates how to live with hope. Be inspired by her powerful story and learn how you, too, can glorify God in every moment.

Original Episode: 

Glorifying God in the End of Life, with Colleen Chao 

YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5Bv_Tf2LWM&t=1043s

Website: https://www.reviveourhearts.com/podcast/grounded/glorifying-god-in-the-end-of-life-with-colleen-cha/

Connect with Colleen

Instagram: @colleen.chao 
Website: www.colleenchao.com

Episode Notes

• “She Laughs at the Time to Come: Colleen’s Story” video.
• In the Hands of a Fiercely Tender God book by Colleen Chao.
• How You Can Be Sure You Will Spend Eternity with God book by Erwin W. Lutzer.
• Shop Revive Our Hearts’ Summer Bible Study Sale.

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Colleen Chao: We're all on death row. This is all a reality for all of us. But it's so that Jesus' life will be displayed. I think sometimes we cling so tightly to our life, and to our health, and to our comfort, that we miss out on displaying Jesus' life, because ours is in the way.

Erin Davis: I have a project this summer. I'm not going to deep clean the garage or read a stack of books. My project is to get ready for the end of life. I've been doing some estate planning, getting my documents organized and all in one place, getting a power of attorney. I'm working on all of it. Why? Because I want to leave the way I lived. And I hope that in a way gives Jesus maximum glory.

It's not just about the paperwork. It's about building a legacy of faith right now. That's one of the lessons Colleen Chao has taught me. She's today's guest, and she happens to be suffering with terminal cancer. Our social media team picked this episode as their all time favorite. Here's what Sienna, our social media manager, said,

I'm choosing this episode as one of my personal favorites. I was only working at Revive Our Hearts for a few months at this time, and I remember being captivated by Colleen and her story. It was my first introduction to her, and that pretty much sums it up: captivated by Colleen. This will either become or remain one of your all-time personal favorites too.

You'll see a short clip from a video series we did on Colleen. I want to encourage you to watch the whole series. You can find it at the Revive Our Hearts' YouTube channel. We're also going to drop a newer video at the end of this episode from Colleen on how gratitude rewires your brain.

I want to acknowledge that this program was originally recorded during Advent. We do know it's summer, but we're still waiting—we're waiting for Jesus to return. So, we're still in an Advent season of sorts. Don't we all need wisdom to wait? Well, I know I do.

You're gonna laugh in this episode. You're gonna cry. And you're gonna want to leave and live for God's glory. Well, Colleen is here today with an update. But before we hear from her, Dannah, let's go directly into getting grounded in God's Word. I think that may explain why this episode is so important today.

8:02 - Grounded in God's Word (with Dannah)

Dannah Gresh: I would love to help us get grounded in God's Word. Just quickly if you want, you can open your Bible to John 21. I came across a verse recently in this chapter of the Bible that made me think about the end of my life very differently. I'm going to read to you from John 21 in a second. 

But here's the scene. It's right after our dear Lord and Savior Jesus has both died and risen from the grave. He's just appeared to seven of disciples and made them breakfast. Jesus isolated Peter for a conversation. You know, that disciple that hid when they took Jesus away, the one who abandoned Christ in His hour of greatest need. 

Well, what does Jesus want to talk to Peter about? He doesn't want to talk about those moments when Peter abandoned him, and not about that rooster that crowed three times. No, Jesus wants to talk about the love relationship that He has with Peter, and to invite that disciple that abandoned Him, who may just think he doesn't stand a chance of serving the Messiah, to lead His church to feed His sheep. And then Jesus says something that takes a little interpretation. Let me read to you: John 21, verses 18 and 19. 

“Truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.”

He's talking to Peter. And then in parentheses, this verse says, 

(This he [Jesus] said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, "Follow me.”

Now, in those verses, Jesus said something to Peter. It would show just how courageous that once fearful disciple would become for the gospel. Peter, the one who'd hidden from fear of death, Jesus said, you will stretch out your hands and another will dress you and carry you to where you don't want to go. What does that mean? 

Well, according to tradition, Peter was crucified defending the name of Christ, but upside down. He was crucified upside down because he did not feel worthy to die the same way that Jesus did. But he did die. Peter did die fearlessly. I mean, think about that, what a change of heart. 

And then after Jesus prophesied this kind of death, the Scripture reads, “(This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.)” Peter was not just going to die, Peter was going to glorify God in His death. Think about that. I mean, until I was really meditating on that passage a few weeks ago, I had never really considered glorifying God in the end of my life. I mean, I think about glorifying Him with the way I live, with who I love, with how I work. But you and I, we can also glorify God in the way we face death. In fact, if you really think about it, the Great Commission, the work of the Church is, after all, preparing people to be ready to die. 

Well, you and I have the great privilege as believers, of inviting souls into relationship with Jesus Christ and giving them the ability to face the end of life with everlasting hope. Think about that. You might be saying, “Well, what does that look like?” I'm glad you asked, sit back, prepare to be inspired. And you might want to grab some of those tissues, because we're going to show you a little clip of that video we mentioned earlier, here's a little snippet of Colleen’s story.

12:18 - Video (“She Laughs at the Time to Come: Colleen’s Story”)

Colleen: “Be still my soul, the Lord is on my side.”I was 34 when I married and then almost immediately got pregnant. And then when I was 35, I had my son Jeremy. Waiting so long for marriage and then to have a child later has been part of this grieving process, part of what I've had to wrestle through. To be faced with this terminal diagnosis, I don't get to finish my motherhood task. I'm going to be interrupted midstream. 

We've always been very honest with Jeremy, very upfront, very transparent from the first diagnosis to this one. So, I told him the doctors had said it was stage four, and I gave him the timeline. I just said, what a gift that we have. God's given me the gift of some more time with you.

Jeremy Chao: Yeah, it was very hard. Like stage four cancer is very tough, and I was just really sad.

Colleen: We chatted a little, and then he walked out of the room and I heard him weeping. So, I went into the bedroom and curled up next to him and just comforted and cuddled him, and he just wept. Jeremy's story requires that I go before the task is finished, and there's going to be glory in that. “Through thorny ways leads to the joyful end.”

15:03 - Grounded with God's People (with Colleen Chao) 

Dannah: I did warn you that you were going to need tissues. Oh, precious Colleen Chao, you are a gift to the body of Christ. Thank you for being with us today. Hello.

Colleen: It's such a joy to be with you both this morning. Thanks for having me.

Portia: Look at that big smile. Oh, Colleen, can you give us an update on your fierce fight with cancer?

Colleen: Well, the latest is I'm in-between treatments. We're kind of marrying some natural stuff with chemo. And so, we just finished a 12-round of chemo. And now we're going to go into hormone therapy. The goal is just to buy some more time. It just sounds so weird. But that's the goal right now, to get some more time. It's doing what it's supposed to at this point. So, we're grateful.

Dannah: You know, you have one of the brightest and most beautiful smiles of anyone I've ever met. And if you watch the whole video, which you can find on our website, in the episode notes, you'll want to see that whole 10 minutes of Colleen’s story. You end the video with such laughter. You call it, I think, a cackling laughter.

Colleen: Totally.

Dannah: What do you call it? Sass and laughter. How are you doing? We videotaped you in August. You said that was a goal, that you would maintain your sass and your laughter? How's that going, a few months later?

Colleen: Yeah. God is so gracious Dannah. It's amazing. The things that I pray for in the darkest days, He gives so abundantly and usually not in my timing. It'll show up a little later than I think it should. But He's just been so gracious to give so much laughter. It's definitely woven in with some dark moments that are just ugly and messy and awful. But I think that highlights the gift of the laughter even more. There's a beautiful mix of emotions and moments. But I'm just so grateful when I get to laugh so hard. That's Jesus, that's not me.

Portia: Amen, amen, amen. Well, you have most certainly touched my life. I know that you've touched so many lives, and you are glorifying God in the end of your life. I just want to know, what is the secret to living with such joy, rather than bitterness and frustration?

Colleen: That’s such a good question. I'm sure both of you would agree that it's the years and years and the weeks and days and months that lead up to different kinds of suffering—big or small—that prepare us to have joy and Jesus, and to experience the supernatural moments of laughter and cancer. It's rooting myself in the Word. I started reading the Word, the Lord caught my heart on fire for His Word when I was 11. And honestly, there have been very few days that I've not been in the Word in one way or another. I'm 45 now, and it's just such a sweet thing. 

You don't have to start when you're 11. But I just see the richness and the depth and the power of the Word in my life; and not just to have head knowledge, but to meet Jesus in His Word, and to experience His presence and experience His truth. That works day in and day out. It's real, and it's powerful, and it's alive and active. So, I just see so much of that is the daily steeping experience of the presence of God through His Word and through prayer.

Portia: I know there are no perfect answers, but that was totally the perfect answer. Give me if I may . . . As you know, we think here at Revive Our Hearts that you are a part of the Revive Our Hearts family. 

Colleen: Ah, thanks!

Portia: You are, you are. 

Dannah: It’s true.

Portia: How has this ministry been a part of preparing you for this journey?

Colleen: Well, it's so neat as I've thought more and more about when did I first start connecting with Revive Our Hearts? My mom gave me a book by Nancy when I was probably 19, 20, 21. I'm really bad with dates, so I could be off. But right around there. It was on having a devotional or daily time in the Word and . . .

Dannah: A Place of Quiet Rest

Colleen: Yes, that was it. That was totally it. And then, Dannah, I read your book on singleness and purity. I forget that title. What was that?

Dannah: Well, have a few, maybe And the Bride Wore White.

Colleen: Yup, And the Bride Wore White. So those are the earliest books I remember way back. And then, I was digging through files maybe a year or two ago and found a Life Action Ministries catalog or magazine.

Dannah: That's our parent ministry. 

Colleen: Yes, there's all these little roots of Revive Our Hearts in my life. Over time, just the different articles and the blogs and the speakers here and there just that have faithfully over time ministered to my heart. I just love that the ministry has been faithful in this day and age that's just rich to my heart, that it's still ministering to me more than two decades later, what a gift.

Dannah: Praise the Lord. You know, we're glad to be a very small part of your very brave journey. As I'm sitting here with you, I'm thinking of friends I have who are facing some scary things this Christmas season. I have a friend who is facing cancer. I have a friend whose daughter is fighting leukemia. There are people who are facing their first holiday without someone they love. Maybe someone they lost to COVID or in a tragic accident. Death is impacting us and looking us in the face. Others are praying for miraculous healings for friends. I wonder if you could share some Scripture that's been giving you hope in recent days.

Colleen: Yeah, 2 Corinthians actually. I was just looking at this this way. There's so many Scriptures, but 2 Corinthians has been so rich. I've listened to it again and again and again. It says, 

We always carry the death of Jesus in our body so that the life of Jesus may also be displayed in our body, for we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that Jesus's life may also be displayed in our mortal flesh. (4:11) 

And that Scripture is so rich to me. And our world is desperate to see this right? Our bodies, constantly, are being given over to death. We're all on death row, right? In a sense, this is reality for all of us. But it's so that Jesus's life will be displayed. I think sometimes we cling so tightly to our life and to our health and to our comfort that we miss out on displaying Jesus's life, because ours is in the way.

Dannah: Wow.

Colleen: That's just strengthened me so much through this journey.

Dannah: Hmm, what a good truth.

Portia: This is why I love you so much. Because it's like I can just sit at your feet forever. You teach me so much. 

Colleen: Yeah. Right back, it’s mutual. 

Portia: So, at this point in your faith journey and in your cancer battle, what do you believe about death?

Dannah: Yeah, give us some hope and perspective on the topic of death.

Colleen: It's life-changing, you know, I mean, that's an understatement. It just changes everything. I've had chronic illness issues, and my son has had such huge health complications that for 12 years since my issue started, I've had a more keen sense of eternity because of the physical suffering. But when you hear a doctor say, and they're not God, they don't have the final word, but it is crazy to hear, “You don't have a lot of time on this earth. We're going to try to buy you some time with some medicine.” That is shockingly stark reality that keeps you awake at night at first. It's that idea of I am so mortal, and I am held together by a God who holds my dates, right. He's holding me together until He calls me home. I am fragile, and I am weak and limited and mortal.

So, that perspective makes everything seem sacred and everything seems light and fluffy sometimes too. I look around and I'm like, who cares about my hair—things that are so important on the daily for us. It totally transforms how I look at each thing each day. That is an incredible treasure, but it's also weighty and hard. So, it's a mix of all kinds of layers, of emotions, and perspective right now that I'm asking Jesus to teach me in and to be faithful in.

Dannah: Well, I have two thoughts. One is, I am profoundly challenged to look past my very superficial problems\ and ask the Lord to give me the perspective that you have, the eyes that you have, the heart that you have. And you rock a ball cap, Colleen, like nobody else. 

Portia: She does. 

Dannah: You are so beautiful in that ball cap. I can see that your body is frail. But somehow you look so big and beautiful. And you just inspire me today. 

Colleen: So encouraging. 

Dannah: You know, sometimes we ask our special guests to pray for us. But this morning, I want to change it up a little bit. I want to ask our whole family of Grounded sisters to intercede on your behalf. If you could tell me in one short sentence how you want us to pray for you? What is the biggest thing that you want to petition God for? Just beg God for the gift that you want this Christmas season. How should we pray?

Colleen: I want to love Him more and more and more and more. I don't want to stop loving Him and growing and going deeper with Him. That's a real fear that somehow all of this stuff would crowd out my greatest love relationship, so pray that I will love Him and that love would overflow to the unbelievers in my life, to my family, to my neighbors. That that love would be real and growing and vibrant.

Dannah: You see, that is not what I thought you would be asking Heaven for. And that's why I need to continue to ask the Lord. Father, give me the eyes that Colleen has for this life, and for death. 

Lord Jesus, we just lift our sister up to you. We love her. She has changed us. She has given us a hunger for the Word. She has given us a taste for Christ, a hunger for Your presence. She has given us a taste for heaven. And she has exemplified in such a special way glorifying You to her last breath. And that is her prayer, that she would live for Jesus and love Jesus until her last breath, and only You know when that is. But father, my flesh wants to pray something different for this morning. But she's asking You to glorify You to the very last moment. And so, Lord, we ask You for that in her life. And I will add my fleshly request that You would just touch her body heal her give her all the days that she's craving with her sweet precious boy and her husband in the mighty name of Jesus, we all pray together. Amen.

Portia: Yeah. Totally not keeping it together over here. Y'all know, I'm the weepy one. 

Dannah: It's okay, sometimes. That's very okay. Portia. Thank you for being with us this morning, my friend. We love you.

Colleen: Thanks for having me. I love you both so much.

The Good Stuff (43:54)

Portia: Alright, it is time for us to give you the good stuff. And this week, instead of calling it a tool, We want to give you a gift.

Dannah: It's Christmas time, right? We should give gifts. 

Portia: It is, and if you're worried or fearful about death, here's an interesting fact. I used to have a crazy fear of death, like to the point of hyperventilating.

Dannah: Wow.

Portia: I think that this will be helpful to you, especially if you're not sure where you'll spend eternity with God. We want to give you this book, okay. The title of it is How You Can Be Sure You'll Spend Eternity with God. And this is from Pastor Erwin Lutzer. This book will help you experience the hope that you heard in Colleen’s voice, this book is our gift to you. If this is something that you want to explore, we encourage you to visit ReviveOurHearts.com. Scroll to contact us to email us about that book, How Can You Be Sure You'll Spend Eternity with God. Or you can always pick up the phone and call us 1–800–569–5959 That's it! 

Erin: Thanks, Portia. Year after year, and every season, the mission of Revive Our Hearts is to help women thrive in Christ, and that means getting you into God's Word. I want to point you to our summer Bible study sale. Some of my favorite words are right there: summer, Bible, study, and sale. If you're ready to jump into something now or maybe you're planning your fall study, we've got you covered with some biblically faithful studies. Now through August 14, we're offering some of our most popular Bible studies at deep discounts. So, stress less and save more by choosing your fall curriculum. Today, I want to point you to ReviveOurHearts.com and just click on the Bible study sale link.

Next week, we'll be featuring our production team's favorite episode. If you know and love someone who is wrestling with addiction, and let me just tell you something . . . Whether you know it or not, you know and love someone wrestling with addiction. It is pervasive. This is a can't-miss episode. So let's wake up together with hope next week on Grounded.

Colleen: So maybe five or six years ago, I was in a place of intense anxiety, and some of it was physiological. We hadn't figured out all that was going on health wise. But I at that point, where I needed to work at growing through this and not getting stuck in this overwhelming anxiety. One of the handles God gave me was gratitude—leaning into that habit, that ritual.

One of the things I learned was, if you just say things aloud, it does something in your brain. And I thought, Oh, this is a handle,I want my son to have. I'm just now learning it in my forties, and I wish I had learned it earlier.

So we started giving thanks at night, just in that circle of the three of us, each of us seeing something we're thankful for, and doing that in several rounds. Thanks for the reduction in the chemo dose today. God thank you for a bed to sleep in. Thank you for fellowship amongst brothers and sisters in Christ. Thank you for being with us. We were able to just stop and think of all of the blessings in the mercies of the day and things that we just bypass when we're in the busy lane. But when we slow down and go, "Whoa, look what God's Spirit has done, and I didn't realize look at what God did there."

You could feel a tangible, palpable shift in our family. When we buzzed my head again, this time, second time around, I'm like, "I don't want to do this again." But we get to that day and Eddie's buzzing my hair. It hurts if it's long when it's falling out. It's like bee stings and sunburn. He's buzzing it, and then I just quietly started crying.

Jeremy came into the room, and he just reminded me what what can we give thanks for. "Let's think of some other happy memories or something like that." He's latched on to that skill. It is just so beautiful to me because there will always be hardships in all of our lives. But what we do with those moments, that's something I've prayed for my son for myself, for my husband, that we could increase our capacity to suffer well. Thanksgiving is such an integral part of that.

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