Loving Our Enemies, with Gracia Burnham

Gracia Burnham and her husband were celebrating their eighteenth wedding anniversary when militant Muslims kidnapped them and drove them deep into the jungle. Hear her harrowing story of love, faith, and forgiveness on this episode of Grounded.

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Portia Collins: Can faith, hope, and love survive a year of terror? How about forgiveness? I'm Portia Collins. This is Grounded.

Erin Davis: I'm Erin Davis and we are two women on a mission. If you've ever watched Grounded before you know what that mission is. We're here to give you two things this morning: hope and perspective. I've got to tell you that our guest today has a perspective that you are really, truly unlikely to hear anywhere else this morning.

Portia: Absolutely. That's right. Erin, Gracia Burnham is with us, and get this: she's got an unbelievable but true story. I want you to get ready to sit on the edge of your seat because it is riveting. 

Erin: Yeah, it really is. If it was a book, which it is, it would be a page turner. But we're going to listen to her tell it to us this morning. And I have a hunch. It's not just going to be riveting. It's also going to be a little convicting, maybe a lot convicting because we're going to ask Gracia how she managed to forgive her enemies. By the way, those enemies kidnapped her at gunpoint. They held her hostage, and they took something incredibly precious from her. She's not really here to talk about those enemies. She's here to talk about Jesus.

Portia: I think I’ve got goosebumps. This is why we know that you watch or listen to Grounded—because you want to live like Jesus too. She's gonna talk about it, and I am so ready. 

Erin: Me too. I was telling everybody I know this weekend, “You’ve got to watch Grounded on Monday.”

Portia: I know, I'm almost shaking because I know that you guys are going to be so blessed by this. You can help us spread the word by doing what, guys? Hitting the share button right now. Invite your friends, invite everybody, tell them to tune in.

Erin: Yeah, that's right. And it isn't Monday morning, and it isn't Grounded without a dose of good news. So take it away, P.

Portia: Listen, I'm super excited. But I'm going to need some help telling this story this morning. I am delighted to welcome Kristy Graham from Samaritan's Purse. She has some good news straight from Ukraine. Yes, you heard that right—Ukraine. Welcome to Grounded, Kristy.

Kristy Graham: Thank you for having me. 

Portia: I'm so excited to have you here. So, Kristy, tell us about the field hospital that Samaritan's Purse has built in Ukraine.

Kristy: Sure, so Samaritan's Purse is a Christian organization that goes to the hurting. We meet that in many ways. In this way, in Ukraine, we're meeting it medically. We sent an emergency field hospital. We also have three other mobile medical clinics throughout the country: one in the south, one towards the east, and then we have a bus station and train station setup where we're helping the hurting that are literally coming out from the war and the conflict in pain.

Portia: Wow. So, you are just in the middle in the throes of this. That is amazing. Amazing. So let me ask you this: Are you hearing any stories yet of how the field hospital is making a difference?

Kristy: We are. Like I said, we, Samaritan's Purse, went in right away. We have this emergency field hospital that can be set up within days, and that's what we did. But we also found there were greater needs. Like I said, the train station and the bus station where many people were fleeing from the east—they're coming with so many different injuries. 

Some are dehydrated and malnourished from being in shelters for so long. Some do have injuries from the blast, but then some just have normal, you know, diabetes, there's a lot of pregnant ladies. We were able to help in just so many different ways. 

One of my favorites was a pregnant woman who didn't know how her baby was doing. They were able to do an ultrasound, or hear the heartbeat. She just had tears relief and was able to get her prenatal vitamins. There's a lot of things that are just normal life where they can't go to the hospital, but then there are a lot from the blast and the conflict.

Portia: Well, that is a huge blessing, to meet the simple needs, things that many of us here in the States take for granted. That really blesses me to hear how you guys are being so faithful in doing just the simple things. 

I know that you're also working in Moldova and Poland to meet emergency needs as Ukrainian refugees cross the border. Tell us a little bit about that work.

Kristy: Well before the crisis even began, we were assessing and seeing how we could help. So we sent in a team within twenty-four hours after the crisis began. And in, like you said, Moldova and Poland, we have so many church partners that we're able to work with. 

The border just had a lot of needs. People were coming over, dehydrated and malnourished. A lot of children and women that just needed small needs, big needs. So we're able to help those needs in the surrounding countries. We have so many church partners that we're able to work with and help the people as they're needing assistance crossing the border.

Portia: Yeah, absolutely. Well, I know this isn't the first time you've been our good news on Grounded. At the height of the COVID-19 outbreak, well, actually in 2020, we talked about the field hospital that you guys set up in New York City and heard some powerful stories of how God used that hospital to impact people's lives. 

So much of the world is interested in choosing sides and placing blame for the conflict in Ukraine and every conflict, really. But your focus always seems to be so very different. What do you hope that God will do through the hospitals and the outposts that you're building for refugees?

Kristy: Thanks for asking. So, Samaritan's Purse, we go into the ditches of life, we go to the hurting, and yes, we want to give physical help and relief. But the biggest need is spiritual. We all know, and this is why I love Grounded, God's Word and the hope that we have in Jesus—that is the true fix, to our problem. And you will never have peace on Earth here until Jesus returns. 

But we want to bring the hope and the good news of Jesus Christ into all these dark situations. We can never fix things here on Earth, but we use the medical, the nonfood items, we're passing out food, we're trying to give the physical help so that we can get the opportunity to share the gospel. Because truly, the Word of God and Jesus Christ is the only thing that can fix and heal the trauma that people are seeing. 

So that's what we're seeing. We're seeing our doctors, our nurses, our medical professionals, they are helping people physically. And yes, these field hospitals are a great tool to do that. We have these palletized, and they can be sent within days into a crisis. They need hospitals, they need this physical help, but we do it in Jesus’ name. And that is what's on our airplane, all our hospitals—Jesus’ name—that is why we go. 

And so we helped, and even one of our patients came in and we were helping him and he accepted Christ. He said, pills, medicine, they're great, but this hope, this is what I needed.

Our doctors are translators. We have so many wonderful staff, that the reason they're there is to share the hope. They're using their gifts and talent to do that. We always say the platform that we've been given is for the witness and for the gospel of Jesus Christ. So that's what we're seeing. Yes, this is a heartache. This is a hard situation, but we're seeing hope in the heartache through the hospital.

Portia: Wow. Well let me just tell you personally, praise God for the work that you guys are doing. Praise God for your faithfulness, for just your availability to God in allowing Him to work through you in this way. It blesses me so, just to even have a conversation with you. I want to wrap up our time by just asking, how can we pray for you?

Kristy: Thank you so much. Yeah, the power of prayer is so important. Please continue to pray. We've seen over 3,000 patients come through our doors. Pray for them as the gospel has been shared, pray that the seeds have been planted, that they will come to know Jesus. And we're working with church partners. I also want you to pray for the Church. We have over 3,000 churches that we're working with in Ukraine and these partners are powerful. One pastor even said, “Thank You, Lord, for this opportunity to serve your people. No matter what happens, we will not stop praising God.” So, pray for the Church, that they will continue. 

I was just reading Psalm 121. “I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.” So, pray that our churches will continue to have this hope and help, that our eyes will stay on the Lord, that our staff of Samaritan's Purse will stay dependent and anchored in God's Word so that we can overflow to the people that we're meeting. So just continue to pray. 

Portia: Let's do it right now. Let’s pray right now. 

Father, Lord, we thank You so much for every person that is working with Samaritan's Purse, Lord. Thank You for their willingness to serve in this way. Lord, I pray that you will just help them to continue to reach the thousands of people who need help right now, to meet their needs, their physical needs, but more importantly, to share the gospel to help souls prosper. Lord, I pray that there will just be an opening of hearts that's unexplainable, people coming to be filled with the truth of Your Word, with the truth of the gospel. 

Lord, I pray that you will help the Samaritan’s purse team to remain anchored in Your Word and grounded In truth, Lord, and help them. I know there are probably days where they are incredibly weary, but strengthen them with the strength that I know that You can only provide, Lord. Most importantly, Lord, I pray that You will continue to do all of this to Your glory. Yes, it is for our good as people, but I pray that Your glory will reign and just be seen all the more all throughout the lands so that we will be so careful to forever give You the praise, the honor, and the glory. It's in Jesus Christ’s name that I pray, amen. 

Thank you so much for being with us, Kristy. You have given me some stuff to put in my pocket and pray about and remember, so I'll be remembering you guys. I'll be remembering you there in Ukraine. Thank you again for being with us.

Kristy: Thank you for having us. God bless you. 

Erin: Oh man, Portia, I want to go work in that field hospital.

Portia: Me too. 

Erin: I’m just blown away. Such exciting work happening there. Well, Gracia Burnham is with us this morning, and she's got a radical story of forgiveness. I want to let her tell it. Gracia, welcome to Grounded.

Gracia Burnam: Thank you. Thanks for having me. So good to see you.

Erin: Good to see you. Tell us first about your work as a missionary to the Philippines.

Gracia: Martin was what we call a jungle pilot.

Erin: Martin is your husband, just so everybody knows. That’s your husband, right?

Gracia: Martin was my husband. Thank you. 

Erin: You’re welcome.

Gracia: He loved what he did. He was Mr. Cool. He could get a loaded Cessna down on a short jungle strip and get it stopped in the next few hundred feet. He did that for New Tribes Mission who works in jungle areas where no roads go. We got to do that for sixteen years. Our children were born in the Philippines. Yeah, we loved our work there.

Erin: Now take us to 2001 which unbelievably was a long time ago. It feels like it was just yesterday. You and your husband, you were celebrating your eighteenth wedding anniversary at a resort. Tell us what happened.

Gracia: It's an old story now, but I keep telling it. Martin and I were on a southern island to do some work, some flying for missionaries down there. We took a day to go celebrate our anniversary and went out to a beautiful island resort and weren't going to be there long. We went to bed and in the dawn hours there was a banging on the door. Bang bang bang! And before Martin could even get to the door, these three guys burst in broke the door down, and one took him right out. One of them came over to the bed and lowered his weapon at me and yelled “go go go!” And they took me out, taking all of us in those cottages built on stilts out over the water to a waiting speedboat. And that started a year of us being held hostage by a militant Muslim group there in the Philippines.

Erin: It just sounds unbelievable. I know that it happened. But it just sounds unbelievable. Did it feel like a dream to you at the moment? Were you fearful? What did it feel like as it was happening?

Gracia: It did. These things happen to other people, you know. You read about them in magazines and here this happened to us. I just remember thinking, “We are in big trouble.” In fact, that's what I said to Martin: “We're in big trouble.” And he said, “Yeah, we are.” And suddenly, everything was gone. All our support system. We were at the bottom and running for our lives. After four days on the water we got to land, a stronghold that the Abu Sayyaf had, and that began a year of running for our lives through the jungle, trying to avoid the Philippine military, who of course, were trying to rescue us. We slept on the ground, we drank dirty river water. No new clothes to change into, taking baths in the river. Constant diarrhea. Yeah, just a year of horror.

Erin: Yeah, it sounds like it. You weren't the only two taken. Who was with you? How many hostages were there? Give us a sense of the group.

Gracia: There were about twenty of us taken that day by about thirty Abu Sayyaf. So that's a big group of people. For the most part, the other hostages were Filipinos who'd been at the resort. There were three Americans: me and Martin, and a businessman from California, who I'm sorry to say, they beheaded about a week into our captivity. So, we were just this big group wandering through the jungle trying to avoid encounters with the military. Just trying to stay alive and keep ahead of them. A year of learning and growing and seeing who I really was. 

Erin: I imagine you didn't have access to Scripture during that time. Is that correct?

Gracia: That's correct. What I had was what was in my head, and I found out that there wasn't much in my head. But you know, God's faithful. He would bring the right Scriptures to my mind when I needed them. When we're unfaithful, God's faithful. 

You know, that's what happened to me. When everything was taken away from me, I saw myself, and it was shocking. I saw my sin. I thought I was a pretty good person, we’d given up the American Dream, went to the Philippines, and we're helping people and all of a sudden I saw myself for what I was, and it wasn't pretty. 

But as I saw my sin, I saw God's grace and His goodness, and how He changes us. And I think that was the point. Right? I often think that's why God took us into that situation. I don't think God said, “oops,” when we got taken hostage. I think He took us into that situation so He could teach us something very important about Himself and about love and forgiveness and Him changing us so we start to look like Jesus, because that's what we want.

Erin: What a statement, that God would take you into that situation to reveal Himself. I absolutely believe it's true. But still, that foundation that we build our faith on, it's as radical as your story in a lot of ways. You've written a book titled In the Presence of My Enemies. It's now on my, “I can't wait to read the whole thing” list. I read parts of it preparing for this. But part of the description for that book says that you experienced intense soul searching about God who seemed to have forgotten you. So, looking back, do you feel like God was absent? You've shared a little bit about that already. But what were your conversations with God like? Did you sense His Holy Spirit? Did it feel like He was there with you? Did you see His hand? What happened between you and God during that horrific year?

Gracia: All of those things. I saw all of those. It was interesting to me in that it's almost like I was on a roller coaster. There were times I would think, “You know what, God's got this. He knows exactly where I am. This is for His good and my good and His glory, ‘cause I love Him.” And I would think “God's got this,” and then the next moment, I would be plunged into despair. “God doesn't even know where we are now. He's forgotten us. We're going to die in the jungle, and nobody's even going to ever know what happened to us.” 

It was like this roller coaster of a ride. I wish I could say I had great faith and it wasn't that way. But it was shocking, what I saw in myself. And I think God does that with all of us. He has something to teach us and He loves us and He wants us to become like Himself. And He's good. Looking back, I think He taught us very gently, which sounds really weird. There was nothing gentle about this lesson. But I think God taught us very gently.

Erin: The mother in me thinks about the mother in you. How old were your children during that year that you and your husband were gone?

Gracia: Let's see. They were thirteen, eleven, and ten.

Erin: Oh wow.

Gracia: They each had a birthday. And of course, as soon as Martin and I were taken hostage, they weren't with us when we were taken. They were on an island with our coworkers, our neighbors, and as soon as we were taken hostage, the State Department and our mission agency sent them back to Kansas to live with their grandparents. Even the kids, they'll tell you today, God did something special in their hearts, and they were surrounded by people who love Jesus and youth groups that came alongside them. It's amazing to hear those stories of God's grace all these years later. They love the Lord. They're walking with the Lord. The Lord did that.

Erin: Amazing. He did do that. Well, Gracia, I really want to talk about forgiveness, because, this is not an announcement anyone's going to be surprised by but, we're living in a very angry and conflictual world. We just did an episode on anger and it really hit its mark. Women are angry, men are angry, people are angry. Battle lines are literally being drawn. 

I want to know, have you forgiven those who took you and killed your husband? We haven't talked about his death yet, but I'd love to hear you share about that. And if you have been able to forgive them, I'd love to hear what that process is like for you. Because often it's not just a one-time decision. There's often working that out with the Lord. So, have you forgiven them? And what's that process been like?

Gracia: Yeah, you know, the more you do something, the better you become at it, and it's the same thing with forgiveness. Our seventeenth gun battle in the jungle, Martin died. That's the one I was wounded, but I was rescued in that gun battle, and God taught me forgiveness. 

I knew that Jesus said, “Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Pray for those who use you.” 

And I would think, “Okay, these are my enemies. God said to love them. I'm going to love them.” And then we would go through a village and they would chop someone's head off. Well, no, they didn't deserve forgiveness. I'd be back in the bitterness pit or “the feeling sorry for me” pit or “they don't deserve forgiveness” pit. 

I came to the end of myself and I asked God, “Would You put forgiveness in my heart? Would You put love in my heart for these guys?” Because I couldn't do it on my own. I could for a few minutes, but that's it. God's faithful. That's what the Holy Spirit does in our lives. He changes us, He convicts us, He makes us new. There are so many things He does. God did the work in me. That's all I can say. God changed my heart there in the jungle, and He showed me their end. He showed me what they came from. I began learning their stories—why were they in the Abu Sayyaf to begin with? And He just gave us the love for them. 

I'm so thankful I've been able to work with some of them that I found in a prison in Manila. The good part of the rest of this story is, so far four of them have come to know Jesus in that prison. There's always the rest of the story. God takes us into things for a reason—not to crush us—but so that we can learn to see His hand and learn to trust Him when He's doing a good work. His work’s good. It's always good.

Erin: I often say that we're going to be shocked at who's in heaven. There's going to be terrorists there. There's going to be murders there, rapists there, child molesters there. That's uncomfortable to think about. But God's grace is that big. Jesus' sacrifice was that significant, that those men who tortured and tormented you and murdered your husband, because of Jesus's grace, are going to be united with us in Christ forever and ever. So that is such a beautiful story for you and us to tell this morning. 

I think there's probably women watching, though, and I can be one of those women, who, we want to forgive. We read those passages like the one that you mentioned, and like you, we feel like we don't have it in us. If that woman's listening, and maybe she even feels petty, she feels like “Oh my gosh, Gracia can forgive those men and I can't forgive that person who said that snide comment to me.” To that woman who feels like she just can't forgive, what would you say to her this morning?

Gracia: You know, God used Scripture in my heart and life so often in the jungle. One day I was so mad. We were hiking up a mountain and these words from Scripture hit me: “Wherefore seeing we are also compassed about by so great a cloud of witnesses,” those people watching our race, “…let us lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:1-2)

It was very clear to me the weight I needed to set aside wasn't the weight in my backpack—it was the weight of the sin of hatred and bitterness. Lay it aside, put it down, decide you're not carrying that anymore, and then run with patience the race set before you. 

The race before me today was getting to the top of the mountain. Do it one step at a time with patience. “When you think you can't take one more step, look to Jesus, ‘cause He knows how you feel today, Gracia.” One day Jesus carried a heavy load up a mountain for me. God's Word changes us. Just let the Lord do the work in your heart. You can't do it on your own. We can't do anything on our own. Just let the Lord do it. He delights in that. He loves to change us into His image.

Erin: Amen. Is Martin's body still there, in the Philippines? Is that where his body stayed, Gracia?

Gracia: No, they flew him home. He's in a little cemetery just a few miles south of Rose Hill, Kansas—a beautiful spot for him. He's rejoicing in heaven now. His faith is sight. There's no night there. He hasn't even had a night; it's still the first day in heaven for him. So happy for him and I'll see him soon.

Erin: Yeah, you're going to be with him again. It won't be long, now. So beautiful. Gracia, what's your life like today?

Gracia: I travel and speak a whole lot. My children are grown. I like to speak into the lives of my grandchildren. I'm praying that God will use them in a mighty way. I've just moved closer to my grandchildren, as a matter of fact, and didn't have internet so I begged for a place in a church office here, where they let me come in for this, and God's really good to me every day. Every day He’s good.

Erin: I saw those beautiful grandchildren on your website and what a legacy they have. Gracia, could I just pray for those grandchildren? How many grandchildren do you have?

Gracia: I have seven and one on the way. I have eight.

Erin: Seven and one on the way, eight. Okay, let me pray. 

Jesus, we thank You that Your Word is true. And that even if we go to the pit, You are with us. And in Gracia’s life, it was a literal pit, a living hell that she endured, and yet You never left her side. I thank you for her story. I thank you that Your Word says “Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story,” and that in hearing her story our faith is shored up. I pray for those eight souls that are alive and well. Lord, despite the trauma of their grandparents, Lord, I pray that they would be like oaks of righteousness planted by streams of living water, and that this story would be redeemed in their generation and the generation after that, the generation after that, the generation after that, until You come for us. Lord, I thank you for the promise of heaven. Thank you for Gracia’s graciousness; all of those are gifts from you. It's in Your name I pray, amen. 

Gracia, I know people are going to want to find out more about you. I know they're going to want to read your books. Where can they go to learn more about you?

Gracia: GraciaBurnham.org. I’m there.

Erin: Thank you for being on Grounded. You've been such a beautiful and inspiring guest.

Gracia: Thank you for having me, Erin. You’re sweet.

Erin: Thank you. Portia.

Portia: Beautiful and inspiring are the perfect words, Erin. I've been over here fighting the tears because I don't want to ruin my makeup. 

Erin: We need Holy Spirit proof mascara; I say that all of the time. 

I knew it was going to be a story, but what beauty in it.

Portia: You know, when you mentioned women who may be dealing with some petty things, petty areas where they're being unforgiving, that one hit home. I get frustrated with my husband about his socks on the floor. And I'm like, if this lady can forgive the people who tormented her, then Lord knows…

Erin: And murdered her husband.

Portia: Yeah, then I can put it aside. So that was great. Thank you, guys, so much, for sharing in that way. 

Well, most of us will not experience being taken hostage by angry terrorists. But we all have people that we need to forgive. So, let's take a minute to watch this short teaching clip from Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth on loving your enemies.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Acts chapter 10, verse 38, shows this to us. It says that “…God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power…” So, what did Jesus do with that power that He got from God, the power of the Holy Spirit? What did He do with it? That verse goes on to say, “he went about doing good, and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with him.”

Jesus was a reflection of his heavenly Father, who is kind, He is compassionate, He does good to His creatures. And notice that God's kindness is not based on the goodness or the worthiness of the recipient. This is really important because it gives us a standard for how we should show active kindness. Jesus said in Luke 6 verse 35, “love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.”

Erin: It's time to get grounded in God's Word. I hope you have your Bible handy always when you watch or listen to Grounded. This morning, I want you to look at Romans, chapter five, verse 10. While you are finding that page in your Bible, I'm going to tell a story on myself. Several months ago, my pastor Chris preached a sermon on forgiveness. I hope that you are in a church, where the pastors preach regularly on forgiveness. It's a message we need to hear over and over and over, because forgiveness can never just be a theory; we actually have to take action. 

My pastor asked us to do something he's asked us to do before. And that is: write down the names, we took some time to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind anyone we needed to forgive. We all had these pieces of paper already available to us. We were supposed to write down the names of the people that the Lord brought to mind and bring them forward and pin them on this board at the front of the sanctuary. 

Well, about the time that the pastor gave those instructions, that's about the time that my arms started to cross, like this. And my one hip was thrown out, and my foot started to tap. It's about the moment that I said in my heart, “I'm not doing it.” 

You see, my pastor had preached a similar sermon before, maybe about a year before. And he had asked us to write down the names of those we needed to forgive then, too. And I did. I wrote down three names. But a year later, it seemed like nothing had happened. Nothing had happened in those three relationships at all. There was no visible evidence of reconciliation or soft hearts on the part of those three people. But also, it seemed like nothing had really happened in my heart. I was still really hard hearted; I was still really angry. And again, I thought, “I'm not doing it.” I just kept telling myself, “I'm not doing it. It doesn't work. I've tried to forgive them. And I'm still so angry.” 

Now, my husband, Jason, who's often quicker to obey than I am, wrote down his names. I don't know what he wrote down. Maybe it was my name. But he wrote them down. He went to the front of the sanctuary, and he pinned them on just like so many people from my church family were doing. They were just being obedient and marching down there, and putting those names on the board. 

And my husband came back to our pew and he had the gall to look at me. Then what I was thinking came out of my mouth. I said, “I'm not doing it.” I said it out loud. And I said, “I have tried to forgive them many times, and I just can't.” I mad-whispered all of this. I'm sure everybody could hear me because I don't mad-whisper very quietly, and I said, “I just, I just can't.”

Jason put his arm around me. And that's when the tears started to fall. I was sad that I was still in these strained relationships. I was really disappointed with myself that I had not really forgiven them. I was still really angry and really bitter. 

Well, I did write down their names, and I did pin it to the wall. And today my heart is softer, but that doesn't mean that I'm never going to have to write down those names again. We're talking about people who have some really big things that are hard to forgive. 

So, when we do not forgive, our hearts become hard. It's like a callus. It just hardens over time, and I had forgiven those people a year prior—I really had. I wanted to obey God in that, but bitterness, not only is it a callus, it's like a weed; it just keeps growing back. 

I did need to forgive them again. There's one thought that softens my heart every time I need to forgive someone. Let me read you Romans 5, verse 10: “For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.”

When this subject of enemies comes up, probably like me, you're thinking of somebody else—they are the enemy. You are the offended one. But what Scripture tells us is that actually, we are the enemy, or we were. We were the enemy of Christ, hostile to His commands for our life, running in glad rebellion away from Him. We were the enemy. And what did Jesus do for His enemies? He went to the cross. 

Just a few verses earlier, in verse 6, Paul wrote, “while we were still weak, at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly.” While we were still weak, while we were still His enemy, while we still had our rebel fists up, while we were still, spiritually speaking in that posture that I was at in that church service, arms crossed, hip out, mad-whispering, “I want nothing to do with you, God,” that's when He forgave us. That's when He moved toward us. That's when He extended forgiveness long before we knew to ask for it. 

And this, friends, is the reason that we can forgive others. It’s the only reason we can forgive others. This is what Gracia was talking about. She couldn't forgive those terrorists because they deserved it. You heard her say it—they were beheading innocent people. They didn't deserve it. She could forgive them because Christ forgave her. 

We don't forgive people because suddenly they realize how they've harmed us and they say they're sorry; most often they won't. Or we don't forgive them because they've stopped doing that thing that's hurtful. Sometimes they keep doing it. The reason we can forgive others is because Christ has forgiven us. 

Jesus told a parable of an unforgiving servant; I hope you know it. And that unforgiving servant’s master forgave him for a massive debt, more money than you could ever earn back. But when a fellow servant owed him a much smaller amount, the servant refused to forgive. Your hurts are real. But so is Christ’s forgiveness. 

And if you are struggling to forgive today, if I were to say, “Write the names down, pin them on the board,” and you would think “I'm not doing it,” let me encourage you to stop dwelling on the offense, to stop waiting for that apology, to stop imagining telling that person how you really feel. To join me, let me put your arm around you like Jason did to me. And uncross your arms and unclench your teeth. Write down their names if you need to, even if your journal is full of their names. Ask the Lord to help you forgive them. 

Gracia said it so much better than I could. She could not forgive her captors on her own, but the Holy Spirit living in you will help you to obey God in this way. Why? Because it's a response to the ways He has forgiven you. You were once God's enemy. I was once God's enemy, a terrorist in many ways, hostile to the things of God. Now He calls me His friend. 

The Bible gives us this sweet command over and over. It's this: “go and do likewise.” So, forgive your enemy. Call them your friend, not because they deserve it—they probably don't. But go and do likewise. Because Jesus did. Portia.

Portia: Amen, amen. Erin, I can always count on you to take us to church, girl, take us to the Word. You know what I want to do? I want to throw my shoe.

Erin: I thought it might be a shoe throwing moment. I’m always ready for a shoe throwing moment. 

Portia: It is definitely a shoe throwing moment. For context, guys, if I say I want to throw my shoe, that's a good thing. I’m not trying to beat her up. 

Erin: The first time I heard it, I thought it was a bad thing. But no, it’s good.

Portia: Yes. Well, we want to help to equip you to live out the things that we've talked about today. We have a Bible study and a podcast to recommend. It's called Abigail: Living with the Difficult People in Your Life. Maybe when you think of enemies, it's not a group of militant extremists or a warring nation like we've heard today, but it might be your mother-in-law or your sister or someone at church that you struggle to live with and forgive. This study will help you see them as God sees them. 

There's also a podcast season to go along with the study, and it is hosted by none other than our beautiful sister and friend, Erin Davis.

Erin: The Grounded family is loving this episode. I knew they would. But I want to read a few of your comments. Heather said that she read Gracia’s story as a girl and that it's had a tremendous impact on her. So that's more beautiful fruit in the next generation like we were talking about with Gracia. I love that. Pati was impacted when Gracia came to her church and shared, so there are women watching this that have already been connected with Gracia for a long time. Beverly said that she can relate to the struggle to forgive, and she prayed, “God made me like Jesus,” and I feel like I can just “Amen” to that all day long. Make me like Gracia, but Gracia is that way because of Jesus. Follow her as she follows Jesus, for sure.

Portia: Amen, amen. Well, we’ve got another awesome episode lined up for next week and we are going to talk about the purpose in suffering. Lord, don't I know about it, all right. Katherine Wolf will be with us, so let's wake up with hope together next week on Grounded. 

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