Women Teaching Women Can Change the World, with Holly Elliff and Laura Gonzalez de Chavez

You can change the world this year! Kick off the new year with a special episode of Grounded that will inspire you to make a difference through the power of Jesus Christ. You’ll hear from guests Holly Elliff and Laura Gonzalez de Chavez about how you can practically disciple other women and faithfully live out the Great Commission this year. 

Connect with Laura 

Instagram: @lauragonzdech 
Twitter: @lauragondc
Website: https://www.avivanuestroscorazones.com/

Episode Notes

• “1 Program + 1 Woman = Many Changed Lives” video with Kathleen Hildebrand.
• Get a free copy of Adorned by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth.
• Watch the videos that go with each chapter of Adorned.

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Erin Davis: Happy New Year! It's fun to be able to say those words. I'm Erin Davis, and this is Grounded.

Portia Collins: And I am Portia Collins. In 2024, you already know our mission has not changed. We are here to hand out things that we love—hope and perspective—every week. We want to point you to the one place that we know you can find it, and it's God's Word.

Erin: Yeah, sometimes we don't need something new. We need the stuff that is tried and true. So, I'm not going to talk about resolutions in this episode. I'm not going to joke about the fact that all of our resolutions are doomed to get broken because we're not gonna do it. This is going to be the year we are going to make a difference, and here's how we're going to do it, Grounded sisters, one life at a time. You better believe we can't do it in our own strength; it is going to be through the power of Jesus Christ. 

So today, we're calling you to join us in being Great Commission women in 2024. How's that for an assignment? I'm of course talking about the words we read in Matthew 28, Jesus's words as He was ascending, “Go and make disciples teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” That's the Great Commission right there.

Portia: This sounds like something I want to sign up for. I am and I'm ready to go. Send me. 

Erin: Okay.

Portia: We don't want to waste this year. We don't want you to waste this year. And so, this episode is going to get you excited and equipped to disciple other women. We believe that you really can change the world this year. 

Erin: You said it beautifully, Portia, I don't need to repeat it, but I'm gonna. You listening, you watching, you can change the world this year. It's easier to be jaded. It's easier to think, What can I possibly offer? But we're gonna give you perspective. What could happen if you and I and every Grounded sister really took the Great Commission seriously? We read it, we've heard it, but what if we really took it seriously in 2024? 

Let's do some spiritual math. Portia, are you with me? I might pull a mental hamstring. I have to do math, but I'm going to try.

Portia: Here we go.

Erin: This is the kind of math I can handle. Let's say you lead three women to Christ, this year. I didn't say 300. I didn't say 3000. What if you lead three women to Christ year, and then you disciple those women? And you train each of those three to reach three other people? And then those people reach three other people? Do you know what would happen? After thirty-six years your life would impact 1,048,576 people with the gospel of Jesus Christ. Portia, you got a shoe you want to throw at me? Grounded is important when Portia throws a shoe.

Portia: I do. I want to throw my shoe because I was not expecting you to say a number that big!

Erin: A million? Over a million? Yeah.

Portia: So yes, I want to throw a shoe right now. Amen. 

Erin: Amen, that is exponential growth. Everybody's after exponential growth. And we're talking about exponential growth for the kingdom. Spiritual multiplication, generational discipleship. That is the power of discipleship. And that's the vision I want you to have for your life in 2024.

Portia: I love it. That should be good news right there.

Erin: You’re right, we just had a bonus good news. 

Portia: Yes, we did. We did. Listen, we've got some amazing women who are gonna show us how to do this. I am super excited. We have Holly Elliff with us today. Laura Gonzalez, and I have a special New Year's good news correspondent. And she's gonna remind you that you can start someplace very close, right in your own home. 

Erin: That's right.

Portia: So, share this episode. Hit the button, share the episode, and get ready, buckle up. It’s gonna be a good one

Erin: That's multiplicity, if you share it, and that person shares Jesus with three people, and they share with three people on and on it goes. You might be asking, “Where's Dannah Gresh?” Don't worry, she's here, she's going to be a part of those conversations too. We wouldn't want to ring in the new year without Dannah.

Today's Grounded is going to look a little different. If you're joining us by video, we actually prerecorded this with Dannah Gresh onsite as special gathering of our Revive Partners. So, this is in front of an audience. Now, we always record Grounded in front of an audience, a digital audience—you. But we don't always record it in front of a group. And so that's a pretty exciting thing about this episode. 

In fact, I think you're gonna hear from that audience today. And someone else is in the audience, our good news correspondent. Before we introduce her, you're gonna love her. She just oozes Jesus and enthusiasm for what we're talking about here. She's gonna bring all the sunshine even in January. We have a special story to share about her. Watch this short video.

10:20 - Video with Kathleen Hildebrand

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: What is slander exactly? It's bearing false witness with the intent to harm another person or their reputation.

Dannah Gresh: Kathleen Hildebrand was driving one day when she heard Revive Our Hearts on the radio.

Kathleen Hildebrand: It was about the topic of slander.

Nancy: Now, slander is a serious matter to God. Exodus 20, verse 16, “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”

Kathleen: It was just as I was pulling into the parking lot. And Nancy said, “I want you to stop” and I was stopping the car. 

Nancy: And if God's Spirit has brought conviction to you . . .

Kathleen: You need to repent from any slander.

Nancy: . . . conversations or situations, just agree with God. 

Kathleen: And I just broke down weeping. I realized that conversation came to me. Just the day before I had slandered someone else's name. So, I went to our son. I said, just yesterday I found out about this whole concept of slander. I slandered so and so in our conversation yesterday. Our son said, “Yeah, mom.” And that really, really was sad for my heart. 

And I said, “Will you forgive me?”

Dannah: The series Kathleen heard was taught by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth on her book Adorned: Living Out the Beauty of the Gospel Together. Kathleen wanted to learn more, so she ordered the book. After she read it, she told her pastor's wife. 

Kathleen: This is a book we've been looking for in biblical womanhood, because no one talks about womanhood. And so, we looked at each other, and we started plotting it out. We created a Bible study around Adorned. I've learned new things every time I do it. 

Sophron . . . we always go back and forth to words for self-control. It's chapter eight in the book. But sophron is probably my favorite. It's self-control, and using God's Word to help us get control of our emotions, our words, our actions, and having it on our minds so much more. It just got to be kind of a way of talking, using sophron as an example. Like, I wasn't careful there. 

And so, I started texting with our daughters and our daughters-in-law, so we can just encourage one another. Then our son Daniel just named our text string between the girls, the “Sophron Squad,” because I talked about sophron all the time.

Dannah: Kathleen has done the Adorned study many times since then. She says it transforms women's lives.

Kathleen: If it transforms one woman's life, and then we are in contact with other women, it can trickle over, and they see God at work in our lives. You can't put a dollar figure on that.

14:03 - Good News (Kathleen Hildebrand)

Portia: Amen. Erin Davis has inspired me to do math again. So, we're gonna do another quick spiritual math equation. If you add one Revive Our Hearts program with the heart of one willing woman. What do you get? Well, I'm gonna let Kathleen share the answer. Welcome to Grounded, Kathleen.

Kathleen: Thank you for having me.

Portia: All right, getting right to it. Lots of women feel intimidated at the idea of discipling another woman, or they think that they need to start some place unfamiliar or foreign or big. But you started in a small private way in your own home. Tell us about it. 

Kathleen: It’s not a big program. We just took the book. We shared the chapters and how we incorporate that into our lives. We make it more intentional in our everyday living. And then more groups just want to do it after us. And you know, our daughters and our daughters-in-law saw the difference. Then they wanted to do it with their friends. It just multiplies. It's just an inner joy to share God's truth with other women. It makes such a difference in our families and our marriages. It's just organic. 

Portia: Absolutely, see you doing the math to it just multiplied. I love that you say multiplied. Okay, in the video you explained that you use the study of Adorned, which is a book written by our very own Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. I want you to share with us what have you seen God do through these groups?

Kathleen: I've seen women learn to love their husbands more, with more intentionality. I've seen them want to love their children by staying home. One young mom said, “I don't feel the call to go back to what I was doing. I want to stay home with my kids.” I've seen their homes become places of hospitality out of joy. It's very practical. 

Portia: Absolutely. So, looking forward to 2024, what is God stirring in your heart to do in terms of discipleship? 

Kathleen: I think continuing on one-on-one with women, finding someone that you can call for coffee, get to know them, build a friendship, and then just walk through life day to day. You know, find out details and how things have gone, how it's going with their kids, with their marriage, with their friends. And now in a life with adult kids, how their adult kids are doing, their grandkids. 

So, it's one-on-one, checking in on them, doing things for them and praying with them. It's finding out how I can pray for them and encouraging them with God's Word

Portia: I just love your heart. I can see it. So, here's the really good news. Kathleen, what difference can one woman who has been transformed by the Word of God and is sensitive to His Spirit, what difference can that one woman really make? 

Kathleen: I didn't see it happening, but I've seen so many women want to take the truth into their homes, and then share it with other women. I've seen their kids in transformation, because mom's making changes in that home. I wasn't looking to be willing for any big change. I just said, “I want to share this with other women because it's had such an impact with me and my family.” So, it's just pure joy and obedience to want to share God's Word with others. 

Portia: Amen. You just wanted to be faithful. I love that. I love you. Thank you so much for being with us today, Kathleen. You have truly blessed me and inspired me to be intentional about that one-to-one discipling so thank you.

Kathleen: Thank you, Portia.

Portia: All right, everybody. I hope you got your Bibles ready. I’ve got mine around here somewhere. Dannah Gresh is ready to get us grounded in God's Word. Go ahead and open those Bibles up to Titus 2, and get ready. Give it to us, Dannah.

19:02 - Grounded in God's Word (with Dannah)

Dannah: I will, Portia. Happy New Year Grounded sisters. We're so glad you're spending this first day of the year with us. As you're opening your Bibles or maybe finding on your phone Titus 2, I want to share with you a moment when God taught me something important about my influence on others. 

We went bowling for the first time with my twin granddaughters, Addy and Zoey, about a year ago. They were only three years old. I am not a good bowler—that's putting it mildly. I threw the ball. Well, see there, I'm just proving that I'm not a good bowler. I rolled the ball and on the first time I got a strike. And so, I was kind of hamming it up for my family. I turned around, and I went touchdown, and then I dramatically bowed. 

And so, Addy my little three-year-old grandbaby was going after me. They have these little arc-like things. They put the balls on it and it just kind of rolls down. Have you seen those? The ball moves at the pace of a snail down the alley. Well, Addy’s ball moved down the alley. It pinged one little pin, and she turned around, and she went touchdown and dramatically bowed. I thought to myself, You know what? Our lives are always teaching. But are we teaching the right things? Are we teaching the accurate things?

The Lord has used a very familiar passage to all of us, in the Revive Our Hearts world, fresh in my heart for His love for you. I hope that I can translate what He's been speaking to me about it. But let's read this passage, Titus 2 verses 1, and then 3–5, 

But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine . . . Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Recently, I was reading Nancy's book Adorned again, because I've read it multiple times. That refreshes my heart new every time. I locked in on that word “train” that we’re to train the younger women. And the word there is the word sophron, does that sound familiar? It sounds like the word that Kathleen just said that stirred her heart and created conviction in her heart. 

Because the root word is so fun, let me read to you what Nancy writes about these two words. In her book Adorned, she writes, 

The verb sophron, with the complex meaning, which is why one English word can't quite express it, is the Greek word, sophronizo. It appears only here in the New Testament, and yet it's related to a word we've already seen, and we'll see again, sophron. As you may recall, this word carries the idea of a saved mind, or a sound mind. Similarly, sophronizo means “to make of a sound mind,” “to instruct or train someone to behave wisely and properly.” It has to do with bringing someone to his or her senses, so they will live a sensible, self-controlled, sober, spiritually-disciplined life. 

Now, when I read that, I thought to myself, I don't see a lot of that in many women today. I don't see sober, self-controlled living. I see women who have lost their mind sometimes. Some of the headlines I've read lately . . . I read an article that said, “79% of women in the workplace say they gossip and slander others in the workplace.” Wow, self-reported. 

Another thing I've seen a lot in blogs and articles recently is a new term for moms to help express what they're feeling towards their children. You know what the words are? “Mom rage.” Because it's so common, we've actually coined a term to describe it. That just makes my heart so sad. 

And in the Church, we're not talking outside of the Church, but within the Church, 30% of women report an addictive pattern of pornography in their lives. And I'm imagining that's probably underreported due to shame, don't you think? 

And then there's this: so many women are literally twittering away their time on social media, by two-and-a-half hours a day. Do you know what that adds up to after a year? 900 hours of mindless scrolling. That doesn't sound to me like self-controlled, sophron living. And here's the thing those women are teaching. Those women are older women. They're older to someone no matter what age they are, and they're teaching. But what are they teaching? They're teaching anger instead of love. They're teaching a lack of sobriety and a lack of self-control. And they're teaching gossip and slander, but their lives are in fact, teaching. 

Now, as I sat there, I thought, What am I teaching? Is it what is good as the apostle Paul writes? I want to ask you, what are you teaching? What will you teach in 2024? Is it what is good?

Now when I thought about that for myself, I thought, Well, what is good? Obviously, Paul writes here about teaching sound doctrine. He writes about not being slaves to much wine. He writes about loving their husbands, loving their children, self-control, being pure, working at home, kind and submissive, so that the Word of God will not be reviled. 

And so, I just got some commentaries out to understand the goodness of these things. And I was surprised when one commentary said, “Those things are not the good. They're the fruit of the good.” I thought, Well, what does that mean? He said, “You have to read the whole rest of the chapter.” And this commentator pointed me down a few verses, beginning in verse 11, where it says the root of the good that causes the fruit of the good that Paul writes about. It starts in verse 11, 

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

And this commentator said, “The good, never forget, is nothing more ever than Jesus. Bring them Jesus, that is the route of the good, and out of their love relationship with Jesus will come the fruit of the good that we see at the top of the chapter.” 

And I sat there and I thought to myself, Let me think about this. I felt a stirring in my heart. And I think what the stirring was was conviction. Because so many times when I'm discipling a woman, I tell them, not this directly, but well, “Don't slander.” I tell them not this directly, “Well, maybe you need to express love to your children in this way.” I'm giving them a to-do list, and you know what? We are to-doing ourselves to death, when Jesus has already done so much.

As I sat there and meditated and talked to the Lord about my conviction, it was almost as if I could picture the book, the page that I just read to you from Nancy's book, and as if the Lord had taken a Papermate Flair and circled two words, and those two words, were “saved mind.” 

You see, a sophron mind is a saved mine. We can't bear this good fruit unless we are experiencing the redemption of Jesus in our lives. 

And then I said, “Lord, I feel like You're convicting me to disciple differently. But can You show me a time in my life where I've been discipled like that?” And immediately I recalled something. Maybe about eight, nine years ago, went I through a really hard year, my body was not well and we didn't know why. We were having some financial problems. My husband and I were having a hard time loving each other. All of that made me tired. And so, loving adult kids was a lot of work. 

I called the woman who's discipled me for twenty-five years, Tippy Duncan. I said, “Tippy,” and I poured my heart out to her. 

And she said, “Oh, Dannah, the Lord is asking you to carry a heavy cross right now.” 

I said, “Yes. He is.” That's all I needed, for her to empathize. 

And then I said, “Tippy, tell me what to do.” 

And she said, “Well, Dannah, I'm gonna be honest with you. I think that you're so focused on the cross the Lord has asked you to carry that you’ve forgotten about the cross He carried. And so I'm going to ask you to go out in the woods. I want you to go for a walk. With every step, I want you to think about the cross of Jesus. I want you to think about what it was like for Him to walk the Via Dolorosa to that place where He would be crucified for you. And then when you get to a place, where there's a clearing or a place where you can meditate and be with the Lord for a while, I want you to find two sticks—a long one and a short one. I want you to lay down. I want you to take those sticks, and I want you to put them on your belly, in the shape of a cross. I want you to lay under the cross and ask the Lord to reframe your mind so that you are more focused on the cross of Jesus than the cross He is asking you to carry right now.” 

I sat there. Nothing happened a long time. My heart was hard. My heart was callous. My heart was focused on what Dannah can do to fix Dannah’s world and how hard Dannah is working to fix everything around her. 

But eventually, tears came. Eventually, I felt the joy in the presence of the Lord. When I came out of the woods that day, the fruit of the good from the roots of Jesus started to flow out of me. I was able to be a self-controlled woman, which meant eating differently so my body could start to heal. I didn't have to ask anybody what to do. I just did it. You know what? I even started loving my husband and my children, and nobody said this is how to do it. I just got so captured by the cross of Jesus that day that it came out of me, the fruit of the good. 

So do this ladies, give them Jesus. They have enough to-do lists. And that's not that we don't teach them doctrine. It's not that we don't confront when there's gossip. It's not that we don't tell them how to love their children, how to love their husbands. It's just that we can't forget that the root of all that fruit is Jesus. 

And so, if you, like me, need to reset as I did, as I was thinking through this a few weeks ago, I invite you in 2024, don't forget what they most need is Jesus. Give them Jesus. 

Father God, I just pray that as we approach 2024, that we would not forget that You are supernatural, that you change things in us in magnificent ways. And so many times we need Your super in our natural to be able to produce the fruit of Titus 2. Lord, I pray that we would come to You. I pray we would understand the gift of the cross, and that we would pass that whole bond to the women that you have asked us to disciple in the mighty name of Jesus, amen. 

31:43- Grounded with God's People (Holly Elliff and Laura Gonzalez de Chavez)

Ladies, that is the why. That is why we do Titus 2. But how do we do it? I have two ladies here who are masters at it, and I'm going to invite them to join us. One is Holly Elliff. She's a longtime friend. You've probably heard her voice on Revive Our Hearts. She's a dear friend of Nancy's. She's a pastor's wife, women's minister, and she loves Diet Dr. Pepper. You just had some, so you're going to do great today. And then, of course, Laura Gonzalez is the leader of a viral ministry in all of Latin America—Aviva Nuestros Corazones—which is a ministry of Revive Our Hearts. We're going to talk a little bit about how we disciple. What does it look like?

Erin: Dannah, I’m jumping in here. There's no way I was gonna miss this conversation with these ladies. And I'm gonna have you slide into the answering, and I'll do the asking, how's that? 

Dannah: I will be happy to do that. Erin Davis. 

Erin: Okay, great. Well, I'll talk about a brain trust. This is one you're looking at, and going to hear from, some women who know a lot. But also, I'm going to coin a new term, your heart trust. These are women whose hearts have been impacted by the gospel. All of those things you just said are true. And wives, moms, grandmas, leaders of ministries, Bible teachers, but we could add this moniker to each of you, gospel multiplier.

The reason that we wanted to have you be a part of this conversation is that we don't want to just teach women what to think. We want to teach women how to live, and we want to show them that the Great Commission is for them. And Dannah, I'm excited. You're part of this conversation, because you were my one when I came to Christ at fifteen. You were willing to disciple me. I hope there's fruit that's evident from all of that. So this is gonna be a really exciting conversation. I'm eager to jump in.

Holly, I'm going to start with you. You're a mom and a grandma of how many? I must confess, I've lost track.

Holly Elliff: You've lost track, I lose track. But we are waiting on baby twenty-seven. 

Erin: Okay.

Holly: Sometime soon. The oldest is sixteen. We have twenty that are ten, and under.

Dannah: Wow!

Erin: Okay, that's why I lost track, because twenty-six is just too high number for this brain to count. But I imagine that translates to a very full life. So, I wanted to set that stage because I want to know, what has compelled you to make the time to sacrifice your time, your energy, your effort, probably your home, to continue to disciple women, even in the midst of all of that that's happening in your life and in your family.

Holly: There's a lot happening in our family. I just got back from keeping five of my grandchildren in Seattle for a week. I told the Lord when I was in my twenties that I didn't want a boring life. I was thinking little red sports car, but that did not happen. 

And so, my life is not boring. There's so many moments when things enter into my life that I don't know are coming. Literally, sometimes it's a phone call saying, “Mom, I've got to meet this person over here, and can you keep the kids? I'll drop them off at your house in about thirty minutes.” And it's a surprise. I don't know that that's what was planned for my day. 

Sometimes I get phone calls at 2 a.m. from somebody who is desperately in need of sharing what's going on in their life. I have gone to somebody's house at midnight before and stood on their front lawn, praying that I would survive that interview with them, because they're mostly so far gone that I didn't know if Lord could even bring them back in that moment. So, there are a lot of moments; there are a lot of surprises.

Dannah: Do you ever not know what to say? In one of those interludes like, “Lord, help me know what to say?”

Holly: I'm almost always saying in my head, “Lord, help me to know what to do, what to say, how to do this in the right way? What would You do?” That pops in my head all the time. 

Lately, every time I think about somebody not being a believer, not knowing the Lord, being lost, and I really am mostly always surrounded by people. And now every time I walk into a store, or a crowd of people, I end up with somebody next to me. I just turned to them and say, “How can I pray for you?” 

It's six words, six words. “How can I pray for you?” And it's amazing the answers that I get from people that I don't even know. But, you know, it's a very easy door to open, even with my grandchildren with my kids. A lot of our kids are in ministry, and they're sometimes walking through hard things. And the smallest question can open a door to the presence of Lord.

Dannah: Yeah, I found that question, even when someone's not walking with the Lord, or they're walking away from the Lord, or they're resistant to church, you can say, “How can I pray for you?” All the walls come down, and they never say “no.”

Erin: Yeah, Holly, I started with that question. Because I'm in my early forties, in the all the kids at home years. What I hear from a lot of people my age is that discipleship will be for the next phase. They somehow think that there's going to be more time or more availability, and it doesn't. I don't know that that window ever actually come. I know that discipleship is not something that we ever outgrow. 

Laura, I want to pivot to you. God is doing something remarkable in Latin America. I think we can use the word revival, honestly, for what He's doing there. Aviva Nuestros Corazones is doing big events with thousands of women. But I want to hear the other stories. I want to hear the stories of women willing to faithfully serve and disciple another woman. Tell us some of those stories.

Laura Gonzalez: Well, it all started, I think, when the Lord got me and reached me and saved me. One of the people in our staff, she came to my home, and she said, “I want you to be my Titus 2 mentor.” 

And I said, “What’s that?” Because I was a brand-new believer. And I said, “Let's learn together.” And we started together by going to the Bible, reading the Bible together. And then others in our church came also. 

So, I had a group of ten girls in my house every week. We would cook; we would talk. That's when I started looking for some material. I found Nancy's teaching. She became our mentor to all of us. I started to learn what it was to be a Titus 2 woman. Now seeing what the Lord has done through the ministry through Nancy's teaching and through just the revival that the Lord has brought in Latin America and seeing all those women being multipliers . . . I always say, “The ministry has not only grown wide, but deep, deep in their hearts.” It's changed homes, it's changed families, and they are investing in other lives. And that is for us. 

It’s so rewarding to see that. It's like one woman reaching another woman. It's all about relationships. The gospel is transmitted through relationships. It’s not just teaching from a platform. So we see that happening all the time. 

Dannah: I think you're talking about multiplicity. 

Laura: Yes.

Erin: Yeah, we might have to subtitle this the Math Episode of Grounded. We've talked more about math here than any other time, because we're word girls. But this idea of multiplication, one plus one equaling more than two because God multiplies it in people's lives. This next question I'm going to ask for all of you. Dannah, I'm going to start with you. The need is so great. I mean, truly, the need right now in women's lives. You definitely touched on it while you were teaching. It is so great. And then you factor in the lost and how many people have not surrendered their lives to Jesus and then those who are walking away from the Church—phew. It can feel like we should be doing way more than investing in one woman or a couple of women or even ten women in our living room on a Thursday night. Do you wrestle with that tension Dannah, that you should be doing more than just one-on-one discipleship?

Dannah: I actually know because I'm too busy to wrestle with that. And here's the thing, Erin. I think that for a lot of women there's two reasons they don't take up the mantle of being a discipler. One is what Laura just mentioned. “I don't know how.” But to see what she did, she said, “We'll learn together.” 

Erin: She didn't even know what Titus 2 was, which I love that. I think a lot of women are going to be able to resonate with that, like, what even is a Titus 2 mentor?

Dannah: Exactly. If the Word says, do it . . . It's a Great Commission mandate, disciple others. And then Titus says, “Women, your job to disciple the women.” We can do it if the Word says to do it, right. We may not know how, but we'll learn if we are faithful as Laura was. 

I think the other type of woman that doesn't disciple is the woman who's busy. I fall into that category. But every year, I kind of asked the Lord, “Who do You want me to do one-on-one work with this year? I asked the Lord to direct me, because I feel like if I'm not doing that, and being obedient to that, I'm not being obedient to the Word of God. 

So, I think if I can find the time to do it, you can find the time to do it, too. It is a matter of finding people who can do my husband calls it “be with time.” So, for example, I disciple one of the women on my ministry team, because I spend a lot of time with her. And so, discipling her doesn't force me out of my routine. We do have to find time for getting in the Word and doing that kind of thing. But there's also her watching my life, and me watching her life, so that I know what we need to study when we're together.

So, I feel like we need to let those excuses go and be obedient to what the Word of God tells us to do.

Erin: Okay, I think Holly and Laura would probably just amen what you just said. So let me switch directions. You mentioned your process a little bit. You pray at the beginning of each year. This is at the beginning of the year, as they're talking about this, and you ask the Lord to help you identify your one or two. 

Holly, Laura jump in there. How do you know who to disciple? I mean, you could spend twenty-four, you could spend twenty-eight hours a day discipling woman. I know that to be true. How do you identify who you give that be-with time to?

Holly: Honestly, there's so many moments in my life where I almost feel like the Lord is, sounds weird. But I almost feel like the Lord is whispering into my heart and mind and putting somebody on my mind. But even no matter where I am, I can stop and pray for that person that the Lord has put on my heart. And many, many times when He's done that, I will call them, or I'll run into them somewhere. The Lord already has asked them the question, “How do you need to be prayed for? What's going on in your life?” And they're so ready to just answer the question. 

I have met women in the strangest places. But I've discovered I can stop in the middle of a grocery store, in front of a gas station, while somebody's pumping gas on the other side of the pump. I can stop go around, put my arm around their shoulder, and pray for them. And some of them say, “Nobody has prayed for me in years. I don't have anybody who prays for me.” Some of those go into longer relationships. 

I was thinking one day about Christ and the way he intersected with people. It's amazing when you read through the New Testament how many times Jesus started a conversation with a question. He started a relationship by asking someone a question about their heart, when they need what they believe in, what they desire. He always opened the door so that He could bring the truth into their life. 

I think if we just walked around transparently, so many times being the woman that God has called us to be in Titus2, but with a very thin shell that is sensitive to the spirit of other people so that when God taps us on the shoulder, we say, “Okay, I see that woman.” I have so many amazing stories of moments that I didn't initiate, but that God through His Spirit initiated in my heart and love.

Erin: It's so wise Holly. I don't have a lot of access to your life. But I will say something that's unique about you is women just flock to you like metal shards to a magnet. I think you gave us part of the secret to that, that availability, that sensitivity to the Spirit—lots of us are behind a thick shell. It can be hard to mentor in the face of that. 

Dannah, you talked about not having excuses, so those are some bottom-line things that need to be dealt with. Dannah, I'm one of your ones I mentioned earlier. You discipled me as a new believer. I was fifteen years old, a broken-hearted girl from a broken home. I didn't know the Bible was the inspired Word of God. I couldn't have articulated the gospel, but was a new creation, that God's just that good. We've had a 30-year discipleship relationship. Sometimes it's tempting to put a pretty bow on it, but it hasn't always been neat and tidy. I'm confident I know what kind of teenager I was. It hasn't always been easy. What's given you fortitude? Not just talking about Erin and Dannah, but what's given you fortitude in those challenging mentoring relationships? Because they can be? 

Dannah: Well, one thing is what Holly was just saying is being drawn by the Spirit to somebody. I can remember the first time I met you. You walked into the youth pastor’s office, and I saw you sitting on a sofa there. I can still remember that moment. I was drawn to you. I knew that I had received assignment for the Lord. And it was one of the most joyous assignments I've ever been given because you're just a blast.

Erin: You’re sweet. 

Dannah: You even were when you were fifteen. But I think the other thing that keeps me going is the fruit of your life, watching your life be so captivated by Jesus. There's nothing better than having a front row seat to see that. Watching Jesus heal you of brokenness, watching Jesus bring new truth to your life to replace lies that were holding you in bondage, there is nothing better than getting a front row seat for that. And you only get that front row seat when you're sitting in the seat of being the discipler. But it is messy. Erin Davis and I have had some knock down drag out fights, not many, like two.

Erin: Not literally, people. But we've had some doozies. 

Dannah: This is what I would say about that. Discipleship is messy. Grace is messy. Mercy is messy. The gospel is messy. The Word calls us sheep. I bought my first sheep last year, I now know it's not a compliment that the Lord calls us sheep. 

The last time I was traveling, I got a phone call that Carl Eppley (that's his name), his head was stuck in the fence. Now, if only he had backed up willingly rather than forcing himself through . . . Because he thought there was only one way through, he wasn't really stuck. But we had to call a friend to go cut the fence out. 

We are sheep—all we like sheep go astray. All of us. If you're going to enter into the discipling process with someone, you're going to be there when their head gets stuck in a fence, and they think there's only one way out, and they're wrong. But if you're called to that person, you'll be faithful as Jesus has been faithful to us. It's been my joy to do that for you. You've done that for me when my head has been stuck in a fence a time or two.

Erin: Yeah, I'm thinking of a mentoring relationship of mine. A young woman I invested a lot of time and energy in, and she's at this moment not walking with the Lord. And the temptation is to take that personally. But I would take us back to your teaching, which is that I need to give her Jesus. And Jesus goes after the one. Jesus's heart is for the last and for the prodigal. And so nope, I don't get to like gold star on my chart for her in this moment. But that was never the goal. The goal was to give her Jesus, and sometimes those rocky places can reorient us towards what was this all about anyway? 

Laura, I want to throw it to you. I know there's gonna be a woman watching. You're listening, and she's looking at you. You ladies are articulate. You've got giftedness, that's obvious. You may have some capacities. And she thinks, I got nothing to offer. That's great that they are willing to disciple but I have nothing to offer. What would you say to that woman who feels like why would anyone want to even learn something from me? 

Laura: Well, I would say if you have Jesus, you have everything to offer. That's all they need. But also just your life being available. That's all you need, to be available. Start in your own home with your daughters. In my case, I have a daughter. I'm her biggest cheerleader. I know how busy she is, and I pray for her. Then I have a twelve-year-old granddaughter. I'm always watching her, how she's thinking, where she's going, and just praying for her. So, just be available. 

Be watchful, be watching. If you have Jesus, if you're in the Word every day, something that happens to me sometimes is I'm in the Word in the morning, and I'm reading, I'm going through the Bible, and I read something. And I said, “Well, I didn't get much of that today.” But then I get a phone call from someone and it's exactly what that lady needed to hear that I read in the morning. The Lord ministered to me, and then I can minister to her. 

So, the Lord will give you what you need. He'll give you exactly what you need to tell that person that comes to you. Just open your ears, open your life, for others, that you can be approachable. It's not so difficult. Just sit and listen over a cup of coffee, and the Lord will guide you.

Erin: So good. Holly, Dannah, anything you want to add to that woman who thinks, I don't have anything to offer, I'm willing, but I don't know what anyone would want to spend that time with me?

Dannah: I always say there's ministry and listening. As she said, there are lots of times when I'm listening. I don't know what the answer is. But what I say is, I don't know. But let's get in the Word this week and figure it out. Together, we'll find out what God needs to be your next step to be. 

Erin: I’ve always told anyone who I have tried to disciple that I reserve the right to give two answers, “I don't know, and I'll get back to you.” I don't need to be the answer person. I just need to point them to the answer person. And what you just said is it repeats that. Holly, how about you? A woman who feels like she has nothing to offer?

Holly: Well, I would just say, as Dannah just said, be listening. If we're listening to the Lord in the Word, if we're hearing Him speak, and then we get in His presence and we listen, He will open those doors for us. From women that we don't expect to encounter, the ones that give us a phone call and say, “I need to talk.” We can listen to Him, and He'll tell us what to do.

Erin: And I think what we can forget is how hungry women are. We've tasted and seen that the Lord is good. We have the Spirit living within us to guide us. We know that the Word is living and active. We have the Church rallied around us. And for those women who are trying to navigate the challenges of life without those things, or even have them in a shallow way, they're hungry for what you have to offer if you will point them to Jesus. 

Okay, last question. I don't want a one-word answer. I want you to give us a vision for 2024. Can one woman willing to say, “Yes, Lord,” usher in revival? What do you think Holly?

Holly: Can one woman usher in revival? I do believe that every woman can usher revival into her own life when she opens the door. And the Lord is a God of multiplication. We see it all the way through Scripture. We know that that's why He came to earth was to speak the truth in love. That's not a hard calling if we're listening to Him.

Erin: Yeah. Amen. Laura, what do you think, what impact can one woman have on our longing for revival?

Laura: We can pray, of course, and that can work miracles. But I agree with Holly, there's nothing we can do. The Lord has to do it. But I think when we are available, when we are reaching out to others, when we are aware of the needs, when we are giving our life for others, and others see it, they catch on, and it starts new life around us. I think women are instrumental in churches, and in getting together and in praying and laboring together to bring revival in again. We don't do it. The Lord does it. But I think women are sensitive to that.

Dannah: I love reading about revivals that stirs my heart. The prayers of women have been a very significant catalyst in starting those revivals. I think it starts with prayer, but not just any prayer, but saying, “Lord, look inside of me. If there be any wicked way in me, teach me Lord, how to walk before You being in a posture of brokenness and repentance.” Having your prayers come out of that. Wow, what could God do with us in 2024 if some of us did that?

Erin: I know without a shadow of a doubt that a revived woman will attract women who need to be revived. I just heard somebody say this in an interview, a person who came to Christ, and she was talking about other believers. She said the bottom line was, “I wanted what they had.” She couldn't articulate it. There wasn't any way that she could use Bible language to describe it. But she saw revived women, and she wanted what they had. 

So, this isn't just a vision for how you're gonna have a great year. It's a vision for how God might use your “yes,” to impact His kingdom. 

Dannah, I'll give you the last word in this segment. Would you just pray, let's continue to pray into multiplicity. Pray that if just the women listening to the sound of my voice right now, just the women that are going to agree with you in prayer, would be willing to be disciplers in the ways they just heard, that God would use it in a really supernatural way. Would you ask the Lord for it? 

Dannah: Yes.

Lord, You told us to go into all the world and make disciples. You told us that the older women should teach the younger women. I just believe that there are women sitting on the other side of their computer screen or listening to this podcast, feeling the stirring of Your Spirit. It might feel like guilt. It might sound like a name in their heads. It might feel like an aptitude. It might feel like insecurity. But I just pray that You would help her to break through that and be obedient to the voice of the one true God. His voice is written in the Scriptures for us. This is something You want us to do in 2024, Lord, help us to clear out our calendar and our excuses and to be obedient. 

I just pray that when they look back at this year, on December 31st, that they say, “I did it. Look, I was obedient to the Lord.” And they get to have that front row seat to see You work in the hearts of other women. In the mighty name of Jesus I pray this, amen. 

Erin: Amen.

Hey there, Erin here, no longer talking to those wonderful folks at the vision gathering. But I did want to talk to you about some tools that can help you stay grounded. We always want to equip you with the good stuff. And this week, as our New Year's gift to you, we have a giveaway. Do you want a copy of that book, Adorned that was mentioned before? it's called Adorned:Living 

Out the Beauty of the Gospel Together. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth wrote it, of course. And it's going to help you get excited and have a biblical framework for women serving women, women teaching women as is outlined in Titus 2. 

We've got a way for you to get your copy for free. Yes, that's right for free. We're going to drop a link to a site where you enter a little bit of information, and then we'll send you your copy of Adorned.

And we also want you to know that there are videos that go along with the book from a past Revive Our Hearts conference. So, why not kick off the new year grounded in God's Word. We're not just alone. But together, I'm going to encourage you to start a neighborhood Bible study. Invite some of your mom friends to come over to your house once a week or every other week. Maybe talk to your pastor about launching a new Sunday school class in your church, and use Adorned and the videos. There's actually also a group guide. We've got all the tools ready for you. Start the new year by being grounded in God's Word together. I promise you this . . . you won't be sorry. 

We've been able to communicate, we hope, that women really can change the world through our discipleship. 

Dannah: I believe that with all my heart. We have incredible, powerful influence iff we do it God's way. There is lasting influence if we do it God's way. 

Erin: And you know what? I never want to waste a new year. It's an opportunity that God gives us to serve in His name. It doesn't have to be big. It doesn't have to be flashy, it doesn't have to be fancy. What if He just discipled one woman this year, that would bear a lot of fruit. 

Also, we've got an amazing year starting to take shape for Grounded. I'll tell you a couple of episodes coming in January. Dannah can share a couple of episodes coming in January. While you're watching this one on January 1. We're kicking off the new year together. 

Next week, we're gonna talk about being a light and serving your coworkers in a non-Christian context. We've got a young doctor coming as our guest. She is a pediatric oncologist who seeks to show the light of Christ to her patients, many of whom are suffering greatly, and to our non-Christian coworkers. And if you know anything about the medical world, there's a lot coming at doctors and nurses that doesn't align with Scripture. She's going to help us get equipped. Dannah what else is lined up? 

Dannah: On January 15 bring your New Year's resolutions, failures, and disappointment.

Erin: It’s not that we're expecting you to fail, but . . .

Dannah: We shouldn't be there. Right. I usually we have a wonderful guest that's going to help us win new New Year's resolutions disappointment. Your name is Amy Denmark Angelou, am I saying that right? I wanted to say that right because it seems like such an elegant name.

Erin: It is beautiful. Sounds kind of Italian, I don't know. We also will have Andy Partington coming in January. He's going to talk to us about dealing with addictions. That actually is something that we are responding to you. We've heard from you that your grandchildren are dealing with addictions, that maybe you're dealing with addictions, and you don't automatically go to drugs and alcohol. There's food addictions, there's performance addictions, there's approval addiction.

Dannah: Screen addiction. 

Erin: Screen addictions. So, Andy's gonna give us some biblical hope there. 

Dannah: So glad we’re dealing with that.

Erin: Yeah. 

Dannah: We also have Tara Lee Cobal, Hunter Beless, Alisa Childers, so many good familiar names that you have told us you love. They're lined up, locked and loaded, ready to take us into the new year. I can't wait.

Erin: Yep, it's gonna be a year where we stay grounded in God's Word, and we're gonna keep reminding each other what is true. Hey, Dannah, as we wrap up this episode, I’d love to hear you pray. Would you just briefly pray for God to bless this new year on Grounded, to bless the ministry of Revive Our Hearts, but also just bless the millions, I hope, millions of women who will be watching and listening.

Dannah: Yeah, I feel like I just want to keep my eyes open and look straight into your eyes. If you could just look straight into my eyes. Grounded sister, I want to say a blessing over you that's been spoken for decades and decades and centuries and centuries. I don't know what you call the thousand years but even longer than that, and I won't say it word for word. But let me say this for you in 2024. 

“May the Lord bless and keep you. May He make his face shine upon you. And may He give you peace in 2024.”

Erin: And if you're listening to the podcast version of this episode, we'd love to remind you that there are videos. You can check them out at ReviveOurHearts.com/Grounded.

Dannah: I hope you'll wake up with us next week and every week in 2024 on Grounded.

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