Your Insecurity Costs More Than You Think, with Jenn Schultz

Are insecurities and comparison keeping you from building God’s kingdom? In this episode of Grounded, guest Jenn Schultz will tell you how to find freedom from jealousy and guide you to find your true worth and identity in Christ. You’ll be equipped to squash envy of all kinds and inspired to use the gifts God has given you to serve others. 

Connect with Jenn 

Instagram: @jennschultzauthor 
Twitter: @jennschultz_ 
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jennschultzauthor
Website: https://jennschultzauthor.com/

Connect with Becky 

Instagram: @icingontopbeckyscakes/ 
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IcingOnTopBeckysCakes/
Website: https://www.youtube.com/@IcingOnTopBeckysCakes

Episode Notes

• Jenn Schultz’s website: https://jennschultzauthor.com/
• Make a donation to Revive Our Hearts: https://www.reviveourhearts.com/donate/share-hope/

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Portia Collins: Welcome to Grounded, I'm Portia Collins. And in this episode, we're going to tell you how to ruin Christmas.

Erin Davis: Don't click away. We promise it's going to be something that you're going to want to watch and listen to. I'm Erin Davis. We're here to give you hope and perspective. 

And here's the perspective that we want you to have today: comparison is the killer of joy in this season. You felt it. Their house is all lit up, so she must have a husband who was willing to climb up on that ladder with a staple gun. Or her adult children are all coming home for Christmas and none of yours are. Or she can afford to buy everything for her kids this year. See what I mean? I can feel the festiveness draining out of my heart and mind by the moment as I'm rehearsing those scenarios.

Portia: Hmm, me too, Erin. Well, Jenn Schultz is our guest today, and she is here to help us conquer our insecurities and stop comparing so that we can get busy building God's kingdom together.

Erin: I never really thought about it, but this is a season of heightened insecurity, or it can be, if we let it be. There's just a lot of contact and a lot of show, and it can make us feel very insecure. 

So, we want you to share this episode if Grounded is meaningful to you, then hit that share button. If you're not already subscribed, subscribe to the Revive Our Heart YouTube and Facebook pages so you always know when we're on. But while you're doing that, I get to set up some extra sweet good news. And that means Dannah is going to join the host here on the screen. Dannah, you get to be our good news gal today, and it's some really good news. 

Dannah Gresh: Yeah, because I found our good news guests, I'm so excited about her. But Erin it is going to be some sweet good news today. I'm wondering have you ever told our Grounded sisters about your dream job?

Erin: I don't know if I have. Sisters, are you ready? I mean, I love hosting Grounded, and I don't want you to think I don't love this part of my life. But if I could just have any job in the world, I would have a cooking show, and it even has a name. It's an imaginary show. It doesn't exist, but Food Network, call me. I’d like to call it Removing the Upper Crust, because good food doesn't have to be fancy. So, I would have my own cooking show.

Dannah: Oh, I like that. 

Erin: And I would be able to show the world like the perfect grilled cheese. It is as good as it gets, or the perfect cookie.

Dannah: Yeah, I think I'd like that because I make delicious food, but it is definitely not Pinterest friendly food.

Erin: Right. We need our own show for, like, the perfect peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 

Dannah: Yeah. We do, we need our show. 

Well, today's good news guest has her own show, more or less. I cannot wait for you to see what I've cooked up for today. Did you see what I just did there?

Erin: Ba da dum 

Portia: Y’all are owning it today.

Erin: We’re giving you clues, Grounded sisters. Sweet, cooked up, we might as well just show them, give them this good news that we’ve been so excited about. 

Dannah: Let's give them the good news. All right. Let's get grounded in some Christmas good news. You know, I used to be a Great British BakingShow junkie. Who am I kidding? I still am. But these days, I've been hooked on the Food Network’s Holiday Wars. Have you heard of this show? Well, you're going to hear about it today. 

Each baking team is comprised of three specialized artists: the cake artist, the sugar artist, and an exciting new addition this season, the cookie artist. The competition promises not only intense creativity, but also innovative and delectable Christmas creations from each team's multi-talented lineup. 

And today we've got some Christmas good news for you because the sugar artist from one of this season's teams, the “Blitzen Bakers,” is here with us on Grounded. We have a good reason for it, the least of which is not that she makes amazing things with sugar. Welcome Becky Beverly from Dayton, Ohio’s icing on Top Becky's Cakes. Hello Becky. 

Becky Beverly: Hi Dannah! Thank you so much for having me. 

Dannah: We are so thrilled. I have had a blast cheering for you from my husband's recliner. 

Last night was a bit of a cliffhanger. I shouldn't say last night as in a week ago from when this is airing because we are SPOILER ALERT taping in advance this program. So, I would have seen you a week ago. 

We have a photo. Which project was this that you were working on in this photo, Becky? 

Can we pull that up? There we go. There she is on the set of Food Network.

Becky: That’s the “Holiday Parade” episode. 

Dannah: Oh, that was the “Holiday Parade” episode. Tell us about that creation.

Becky: So that creation is made out of cookie and cake, rice cereal treats, and sugar. And the sugar is incorporated all throughout in Rudolph’s light up nose, the lights all around the holly, around the parade, the windows, the clock. We all worked together as a team to come up with this idea and then put it together. And it is all timed, so it gets pretty crazy to get something that big up. 

Dannah: It's basically, if you're familiar with the Great British Baking Show, every show is a show stopper. You do the show stopper creation. It's like this great big hard challenge. So, you're telling me that you actually made Rudolph's nose out of sugar and made it work? It lights up.

Becky: Yes, he lights up. 

Dannah: Hmm, I do not think that Dannah Gresh could have pulled that off. I would have burned my fingers well, but that's probably about as far as I would have gotten with the sugar.

Becky: Sugar can be super hot. 

Dannah: It can be super hot, super difficult. Your YouTube and social media pages do make me want to play with sugar though. So, do you have any tips for those of us who are wanting to make Christmas sweeter this year?

Becky: Well, Christmas baking is a great time to intentionally invite your kids, or friends, into the kitchen to create Christmas cookies together. This is something my mom would do. She would have us come, and we would decorate those cookies. And so that’s something I do with my kids, and then having this all in the same place at the same time, and then together creating something, it really just builds a bond. 

And when I decorate Christmas cookies, my little tip is . . . So, I love buttercream, that’s my jam, and so I always pipe it on. And when you pipe with these bags with buttercream, it creates a huge mess, so we always rubberband the ends of the bags, so that when the little kids are squeezing that bag, it's not all coming out the end and creating this mess. So, there’s lots of tips and tricks I share on my YouTube channel, “Icing on Top.” It’s all free if you want to check that out, sometime. 

Dannah: That is a brilliant tip. Why didn't I know about that 30 years ago? That would have saved me some big messes in my kitchen, and who doesn't love buttercream? Okay, the reason I reached out to you Becky, to join us on Grounded is because a mutual Christian friend told me that you're a believer. So, I wonder if you could take us behind the scenes. What's it like to represent Jesus there on the Food Network's set of Holiday Wars?

Becky: Well, in our daily life, we always want to be careful that we’re representing Christ to those around us. But just think about that, and then heighten that with a bunch of cameras around, you realize that not only are you representing Christ, but you’re representing Christ to the world. How you portray yourself, how your attitude reflects Christ. Are you showing kindness? Are you showing forgiveness? Are you showing a good attitude when things go wrong, because they will? And just like in regular life, as you’re representing Christ, but this time with the spotlight on it can be pretty crazy in that kind of environment. I always had to consciously remind myself, am I showing Christ to the world, or my team, or whoever is there with me? 

So, yeah, it was a big challenge.

Dannah: Well, you know, it's interesting because I think it's true that we are always preaching the gospel, we're just not always using our words to preach it. And you are always on set. I mean, you're on set in a way that few of us ever will be on set. But when we're in the kitchen cooking, our kids are watching, or our families watching, or our husbands watching, or the friends that we're having over for dinner are watching how we respond. And they're wondering, does Jesus really make a difference in your everyday life? And you have an opportunity to show that in a really unique way on a fast-paced, hard high-stress program like you've just been on.

Now, bring it home for us though a little bit. How do you think baking, cooking, being creative at Christmas makes our homes a place where I guess where others can experience modern Christian hospitality?

Becky: Yeah, it’s a much easier task if you just do all of the baking, and the cookie decorating yourself because it’s faster, it’s neater, and it’s not as crazy. But life isn’t about easy or neat, all life is ministry. And we can minister to those closest to us too, especially around Christmas. We can minster to our children, to our friends, invite them into our kitchen, and create something for them. And it will be messy, especially if you have little kids or someone who is just not gifted at how they put things together, but it’s not about that. It’s about how you react to the mess, it’s about how you care for those who you are with, and it’s just reflecting that love of Christ to them, and ministering to them in that way. 

Dannah: So I guess what you're saying is get in the kitchen and be messy with your kids, your grandkids, your friends? That's where we experience . . 

Becky: Make the mess. 

Dannah: Yes. Make the messes. Well, Becky, I've already asked you this off camera. And everybody's wondering if I'm going to ask it. So, I'm going to ask it. How do you come out on Holiday Wars?

Becky: You’ll have to find out. 

Dannah: Yes. Ah, we were hoping for the spoiler alert answer. But when can we watch Holiday Wars?

Becky: It’s every Sunday at 9/8 central on the Food Network or Discovery Plus. 

Dannah: Yes, you definitely have in the Central Time Zone, 9 Eastern, 8 Central. Well, best wishes; keep shining for Jesus, Becky, whether you're on the Food Network ever again, or from your own bakery and from your own home. 

Thanks for being a blessing and an encouragement to us today. 

Becky: Thank you, Dannah. 

Dannah: You're welcome. We invited Becky to join us so that you could celebrate that Christians are in cool places this Christmas season. They have platforms. And they're being seen by the world, and they're leaving the sweet fragrance of Christ as they do what He's called them to do. You see what I did there? Even if that is spinning sugar. Hey, Portia girl. Let's get grounded with God's people.

Portia: You are tickling me so much with your play on words today.

Dannah: That was fun today. I really enjoyed that.

Portia: I did too. This is great. Jenn Schultz is with us today. She describes herself as non-spectacular. She also says it's okay to be imperfect because God is perfect enough for all of us. She's the voice behind the Called into Being podcast and the author of a new book, She's Not Your Enemy, Conquering Our Insecurity So We Can Build God's Kingdom Together. I’m so excited to have Jenn with us. Welcome to Grounded, Jenn. 

Jenn Shultz: Hi, Portia. Hi Grounded sisters.

Portia: Hi! Yes, we got it. You got it already. Okay, man, I want to jump right in. And this is gonna be maybe a crazy first question. But I want to know, have you ever been jealous of another woman? Tell us about it. 

Jenn: No never, ever, never. That’s never happened. 

Portia: You are so not believable, my friend. 

Jenn: If anybody tells you that, that's not the truth. I have absolutely been jealous of other women. I think comparison has been a longtime struggle for me. I really honestly was looking for a book about comparison, and couldn't really find one that met my needs. 

So, I really stayed fixated on it and started looking into it. I started digging into what it would mean to really defeat that in my life. And so, I started looking at comparison, looking at social comparison, which was a very big scientific research in the sixties. 

I started realizing that comparison is actually not necessarily an unhealthy thing, it actually brings us a lot of good. It can help us to discover where we belong and who our people are. It helps us to discover what we have to contribute and how other people can help us. It's actually a motivator. It inspires us to look at other women and say, “Wow, look at what you're doing in your life. That's encouraging and inspiring. Maybe I could try that. Or maybe I could never do that, but I'm inspired by you. 

So, the more I looked into comparison, I was like, okay, well, there's some kind of dividing factor here. There's the healthy side, and then there's the unhealthy side. How do we end up on the unhealthy side? I started digging into insecurities and self-worth, and where I was going to get my security, which was looking around at other women and seeing how well they were doing in comparison to me. And so, when I realized that I needed to start right.

Portia: I have been guilty, the same of looking. And I guess that's a good segue into our next question. Why is it that women can make other women feel so insecure? What is this weird, funny phenomenon that we sometimes feel brewing up inside of us.

Jenn: I mean, it's so much more of a personal issue than it is me versus her. It's not about what she has or doesn't have, or what she's accomplished, or what she hasn't accomplished. It's all about me—how I see myself and how I need God, as well. 

If God is always this disappointed boss who is frustrated with me all the time, then I'm going to constantly feel inferior and feel discouraged and be wondering, looking at other people to prove my worth. But if I am established in who He is, that He is a loving, compassionate Creator, that He loves me, He chose me, He invited me to be part of His family, that changes everything. That whole perspective changes so much. Instead of looking at her as an enemy, I can look at her as a sister.

Portia: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. From a kingdom perspective, what does that insecurity cost us?

Jenn: That was a good question. I think insecurity gets us in our own way of the relationships that God intends for us to have. He really wired us for community. He wants us to not have to be everything. I don't know if you saw the Barbie movie. Did you see that?

Portia: I have not, but I've heard about it. I have a lot of friends who have watched it, but I think I know where you're going with this. So, give it to me. 

Jenn: I will give it to you. They talk in that movie about how we have to be everything. We feel like we have this pressure on us, as women in particular, to be everything and do everything and look good doing it.

And the most incredible thing about being in a situation where we're rooted and established in our identity God established in community, it's that we don't have to be everything. We contribute to each other. Our comfort overflows, so we can comfort other people. Our gifts are meant to help build up the kingdom where other people are able to build it up in that way, but they build it up in their own special way. 

So, we miss out on that when we get insecure. We get in our own ways, and then it also gets in the way of our actual genuine relationships.

Portia: Yeah, absolutely. So, one of the things that you've said, and I kind of want to zoom in, and you can just kind of flesh this out. You say that other women aren't the real enemy. Okay, so who is it? Just give us a little rundown on what we really should be looking at here. 

Jenn: Well, Satan is our real enemy, in case you didn't see where this was going. Ephesians 6 talks about this. Our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers of this world. And the truth is that Satan wants us divided. He wants us lonely; he wants us isolated so he can take us out. That's where our insecurities leave us. We think we're the only ones. We think that we are so far inferior to everybody else, we think we have nothing to offer and nothing to give. 

Or we think too much of ourselves. We inflate ourselves and get to this place where you don't need God, and we don't need other people. Either way is a great place for him to come in and take us out. He manipulates those lies in our minds so that they're even bigger than they really are. They feel bigger, at least. That was my concern: let's stop looking at each other like she's my enemy, like she's trying to take me out, like she's trying to make me look bad. It is Satan. It's like he wants us against each other. He wants to pit us against each other. So, I found that really important, and I really wanted to spread that message and pass it on to other women.

Portia: Absolutely. So, take us to Scripture. You know, we here on Grounded, we love God's Word and more than just us pontificating our beautiful thoughts about things. We really want to know what God says. And so, what does God's Word teach us about the destructiveness of envy?

Jenn: It says that bitter envy and selfish deceit or selfish ambition, they cause discord and every kind of evil. The Bible says Satan is a roaring lion prowling around waiting to devour someone. I find it interesting that it says someone. It doesn't say the whole church, it doesn't say a group of people. He's looking to take us out one by one. 

It says He masquerades as an angel of light. So maybe you're thinking, Oh, I'm just being super humble and thinking that I have nothing to offer. I have no gifts. No, like you have something to offer. If the Holy Spirit is in you. Absolutely. The Holy Spirit has given you gifts to be able to build up the kingdom. 

And so, Satan will get it even that way. He is the father of lies. We need to know who he is to be able to fight him. We need to be able to know who he is to notice his tactics and hone in on them. So we can say, “No, this is truth, and that's a lie.”

Now look, I do want to ask this. You know, this time of year, the Christmas season can be sadly an envious time of year. Our appetites for more of everything can be really hyper influenced by what we see. We see our pretty girl or our neighbor, the lady at church. How can we combat this? Coach us up. Give us some action steps. How can we combat that potential envy that some of us are going to be struggling with during this season.

Jenn: Yeah, it's so natural for this time of year and honestly, I don't find a lot of shame in it either. I want people to know that you shouldn't be going around like compare it again. We're asking really important questions. We're asking if we're loved and we're valuable and if we have purpose. I just encourage you to make sure that you are going to God daily with those questions that you have those root Scriptures that you keep going back to. 

I know for me, Romans chapter 8, the whole chapter is so helpful in reminding me who I am to God, reminding me who or how the Holy Spirit is working in my life. Ephesians 1 is another good one just to talk about identity, and who God is, and who I am to God. Be reminding yourself daily who you are to God, establish that and have that firmly planted in your hearts. I think also, making sure that you're keeping an eye on how much time you're spending on social media.

Portia: Say it again for the people in the back how much time we're spending on social media.

Jenn: How much time we're just sitting there scrolling for a quick break, let me just take a quick minute and scroll through. But we're only seeing this curated side that people are showing, and we're missing the full story. So, it's really important just to make sure that we're limiting that time, we're taking sabbaticals we're cutting it off at a certain time of night, whatever we have to do to make sure we stay grounded in the real world and connected to real people, a two-sided conversation, not just, “Oh, I saw your picture, and you seem to be doing really well.”

I think also make sure that you're connecting with women in real life, you are getting time with them wherever you can, you are praying for them, you're cheering them on as well. Make it an effort to know how you can be praying for them. Because it can be so easy to get caught in our own minds and our own lives, our own storylines that we miss out on what's really going on with other people. Vulnerability really breeds vulnerability. 

So, if we can have more opportunities for genuine interaction and connection, some better comparison in our minds.

Portia: Absolutely. Absolutely. That is very good practical advice. I'll say, I'll speak for myself first and say that I want to think that I don't struggle with jealousy and envy. Sometimes I find myself poorly equipped to deal with it because I have not been honest that this is a potential problem. And so, I love the things that you shared, it really coaches us up to make sure that we are on guard for something. Even if we think, Oh, this is not my thing, this is not I'm not what I'm struggling with. 

Jenn: I think a lot of people have been asking me for the quick hacks. I feel like it just there are so many practices that you need to establish in your life to really help yourself have a healthy mindset. It's reading the Scriptures. It's praying. It's having that stillness and that time with God. It's having a practice of gratitude—gratitude changes our perspective in so many ways. So, if we are really focused on, “I'm grateful for this one over here. She's wonderful.”

Portia: Well, thank you so much for being with us. Like I said, you've given me something to think about over the holidays. And even in the coming weeks, as we get into the new year and we start setting those resolutions and all the things that really tempt us to look in other people's lives and that I'm going to be fighting against. And I'm gonna be using some of these tips that you have given us today. 

So, where can people hear more from you? What's your website or your social media if you have any handles to share? Where can people connect with you?

Jenn: Yeah, I am pretty easy. I'm the same everywhere. Jenn Schultz, author. So, you saw my name down there, just tack on an author at the end. Jenn SchultzAuthor.com. I'm on Instagram, Facebook, the X-Twitter platform. I love actually having real connections on social media. So, I'd love to chat with you.

Portia: Perfect. Okay, good deal. Well, I'm going to be connecting with you again. Thank you so much. I hope, Grounded sisters, you heard Jenn, and I hope you'll be taking to heart the things that she shared with us today. Take care, Jenn. 

Well, if there is one thing that I can always count on, and I'm always excited about, it is that Erin Davis is going to point us to God's Word. And so, Erin, I've got my Bible ready. Where are we going in today's Word today?

Erin: We're gonna head to 1 Peter. And the reason you can always count on that is because God's Word is all I've got. You don't want my own thoughts, my own opinions, especially about envy. And so, we need to get to God's Word together. 

And as we're getting ready to open our Bibles, let's think about this. There are many forms of envy. Envy is kind of a blanket statement, right? We can be envious of lots of things in other people's lives. 

But I think the one that's most destructive to the mission of the church is what I call spiritual envy. And that might look like this: she gets an invitation to teach at your church's women's event, and deep down you think, Why her? And below that you're really thinking, Why not me? She's got the gift of hospitality, she welcomes you into a beautiful, perfect, well-kept home, she's prepared delicious food. And instead of you feeling at ease, which is what she wants you to feel, you feel annoyed, like maybe she's showing off. Or she's in a season where she can give a lot of time and energy to the church, and you have littles, or you're caring for aging parents, or your job is very demanding. And you feel like, If I was just in a different season, then I could do all of the things that she's doing. 

If that felt like I was reading your mail, let me assure you that I read my own mail first. And preparing for this segment, I felt all of those things I just described. And I have had all of those things I just described directed toward me by other women. And they both felt really icky. So, where do we turn when spiritual envy starts to rise up in us, and it will. We're women of flesh until we get to glory. We still have this part of us, this nature that wants to look out for number one. 

And so, there's going to be this ongoing battle. So when it happens, let's be prepared. Where do we turn? Well, I'm going to take us to 1 Peter chapter 4, verse 10. Listen to this, see if you can connect the dots to how this pushes away our spiritual envy, 

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace.

I know that I just dropped that verse in without its context, and Grounded sisters, I expect you to call me on that when I do it. So, let's get in 1 Peter together. 1 Peter 4:1 says this, 

Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin.

So, because of Jesus's sacrifice, Jesus’ suffering, we can and should arm ourselves with Christ-like thinking. Jesus never envied. How could He? He's God. And yet because of the cross, our old self has been crucified, has been nailed to the cross with Jesus. We have the mind of Christ, and the mind of Christ is not consumed with envy. 

Verse 7 says this, 

The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers.

So, because of Christ's suffering on the cross, we are supposed to think like Christ. Then this passage says, “The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers.” 

The end of all things is at hand. I've got a big box around that in my Bible. You should probably underline it in yours. That's a good place for an amen, the end of all things is at hand. Amen. Jesus is coming back. And I like to say it won't be long now. 

Can you imagine if the moment you heard that long-awaited trumpet blast, Jesus found you wishing for the husband, or the house, or the job, or the spiritual gifts of someone else? 

That's why that verse tells us to be sober-minded. That is a sobering thought. 

Now, that's not a salvation thought. It's not like if Jesus finds you in a moment of envy at the moment He returns that you've lost your opportunity to be with Him forever. No, it's grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone, period. But it should sober us up. 

I think it takes us back to where we started at verse 10. “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace.” 

What are our spiritual gifts for? They’re there for each other. 

Your gifts belong to me, because I'm your sister in Christ. And my gifts belong to you. It's good for us. It's good for the kingdom when we're busy about the work of using our gifts until Christ comes. This has squashed spiritual envy in my life. 

I’m not going to say that I never feel spiritual envy, but I will say I rarely feel it. And when it rises up, I know exactly what to do. Let me show you in real time. I'm going to ask Dannah and Portia to join me back here. They don't know what I'm going to do. This is a surprise. They're just going to receive me living out what I think these verses say to us. And what these verses say to us is that we've each been given gifts, and we're to be about using them for each other, being mindful of the fact that Jesus went to the cross so that when that trumpet blasts we can be with Him. 

So, watch this. Portia, you are a gifted musician. I don't know if our Grounded is sisters know this, but you're almost always singing as we're prepping for Grounded. It's like the velvety, rich voice that I will never ever, ever have. And Portia, you have this magnetic personality. I've been with you in person. It's like you are one pole, and the other people are the other pole. They just cannot wait to be with you. People want to be near you. I don't have that gift. 

In fact, I can be such a type A personality that people kind of shrink out of the room when I show up. That's okay, I'm wired differently. I don't have either of those gifts. I'm not a gifted musician. I don't have a magnetic personality. But I can celebrate that you have them, because I want you to use them to build God's kingdom. And it's the kingdom that I'm going to be in forever and ever and ever. 

So, I want to publicly say thank you, Portia, for believing and operating as if your gifts belong to me. I've benefited greatly from your gifts. 

And Dannah, you are in a totally different season of life than me in some ways. 

Dannah: Yeah. 

Erin: You don't have kids at home anymore. I know you're in the grandbabies season of life. But as I watch you, you have more freedom than I currently have in my season of life in some ways, because you don't have littles at home. 

Dannah: Yeah. 

Erin: And though you now have new constraints that I don't have, I got to watch you invest in your kids. When Lexi and Robbie and Autumn were at home, I got to be a witness to that. I watched you choose them over other seemingly bigger or more significant opportunities. 

And guess what? Your gifts have benefited me. Now you're teaching me how to invest in my grandkids, a lesson I hope I don't need for fifteen more years; Eli's only fifteen. We'll see. But I have loved watching you use your giftedness in the context of your family, and I've learned so much from it. 

You are also a reconciler. I would just give you that as a title: Dannah the Reconciler. You are a woman of grace. I, on the other hand, I'm like those rams that you see on National Geographic. I tend to generate conflict. I don't like that, but it's true. But where I generate conflict, you defuse it. I've just seen you do it over and over and over. Your gifts have helped me more times than I can count. So, I'm not envious of the ways your life season or your wiring are different than mine. I'm so grateful for them because I’ve benefited greatly from it, so thank you for using them. 

Dannah: Well, you know, Erin, I can't listen to that and not chime in. The fact is, you're the kind of woman who storms down the doors of a brothel, like you would be fearless in the face of evil. Our strengths are always sometimes what we perceive as our weaknesses. They can be our weaknesses, if they're not tempered by the Holy Spirit.

Erin: Sure. 

Dannah: So I think where you're saying you tend to generate conflict. I think sometimes you teach me where to fight and where to rise up and where I need to be courageous, and where I need to be brave and where I need to say hard things. Because I don't like to say hard things as a reconciler. Sometimes I don't say the things that need to be said. 

And also, Erin Davis, what a mixture you are of pure joy and an absolute, fathomable intellect. There's lots of people I know who are joyful, and laughter is good medicine. I can laugh with them. But then in the next sentence, you have me thinking such a deep thought that it will bring me to tears because you're extremely gifted with discernment as well as wisdom

Erin: Thank you. 

Dannah: And you know, Portia, and I feel pretty honored to sit beside you. 

Portia: Yeah. 

Erin: Thank you, Dannah. When Eli was in my belly, sixteen years ago, you said to another friend of ours, but I was in earshot, you said Erin is one of my most fearless friends. I just stepped into that like an identity, like, “Yeah, that is who I am.” 

Dannah: That's true. 

Erin: That’s who God made me. What we just did, I didn't time it, but it probably took less than five minutes. There's no envy between us in this moment. None at all. There's only a celebration of the ways that God has made us and the ways that our gifts have blessed each other. I wanted you to see it, because it can happen. It doesn't take money. It doesn't take a lot of energy. 

Portia: Right. 

Erin: And the next time envy shows up in in your church or your Bible study or in your family and what rises up in you is envy first, confess it as what it is, which is sin. Then become that woman's greatest champion. 

We say this all the time in the Davis house, which you know, there ain't no girls here . . . It's me and the boys, but I'll say (and this of course isn't original to me), when the tide comes in all the boats in the harbor rise. Which means when your brother gets an A on that test, that's good for you, because it's a reflection on your family when that brother is the star of that game, and you didn't even get off the bench. It's okay to feel a little bummed about that, but that's good for you. You become His greatest champion. 

Sisters, we are to become each other's greatest champions. We are not to pick on each other or to tear each other down, but to cheer each other on. So I hope you'll hold on to that truth from 1 Peter today and as long as you need to as we transition into the next segment here on Grounded. 

Dannah: You know, Erin, I have a really interesting testimony I want to throw in here. I think it's fitting. I met Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth in the year 2000, at an international bookseller’s convention for Christian authors. I probably met her for a minute or two. Now, I met her as the woman who was filling the spot that Elisabeth Elliot was vacating. I loved Elisabeth Elliot. So, I was jealous, in a weird way. On a plane ride home, I was with my mom. I said, “Mom, I know this is really weird. But I met this one woman for like two minutes, and I keep thinking jealous thoughts about her, and I'm not typically a jealous person.” 

My mom looked over at me. She said, “Dannah, you've been given a prayer assignment.” 

I was like, “What?” 

She's like, “Whenever I feel jealous of anyone, I take it as a prayer assignment. The Lord wants you to pray for her.” 

So, every time I felt that or thought about Nancy, I would pray for her. It lasted for about six months. There was this envy that she was . . . and I didn't even want Elizabeth on the spot.

Erin: At this point you hadn't written a book with Nancy. There was no knowing you were going to come on Revive Our Hearts. 

Dannah: No, we had never met. 

So that six months of interceding for Nancy I do believe laid a spiritual foundation for her to one day approach me, never knowing that that had happened, and say, “Hey, could we do a project together?” 

So, you don't know what God has in store that the enemy might have a sniffing of and trying to dismantle. So, if you feel envious about someone, let me pass on to you the words of a wise woman named Kay Barker (that's my mom), “Friend, you have been given a prayer assignment.” 

Erin: Amen. 

Dannah: Hey, one thing before we go today, here at Revive Our Hearts and Grounded, we don't want women to walk in their insecurity. I'm going to ask you to give me, and Erin, and Portia a dose of courage to walk in security. 

We talk a lot about our vision to call women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ. We want them to have the freedom to live beyond their hurt and pain, the fullness of Christ dwelling in them and pouring out onto others, and the fruitfulness of inviting other women to experience those things too. That's our mission. 

And you know what? We can't do it without your help. We need your help. Would you take some time to pray for our ministry team this month? As we end the year, ask God to give us wisdom about what projects He wants us to undertake next year. And ask Him to provide for our needs. 

This month is a really important one. Did you know that almost half our annual income comes in the month of December? I mean, isn't that crazy? But it's true; 43 percent of the Revive Our Hearts budget comes in the month of December, one month. So here we are; December is upon us. We need to hear from you. 

If you appreciate what you hear week in and week out on Grounded, would you prayerfully consider making a donation to Revive Our Hearts. There is no gift too small; there's no gift too big. If you can make a $10 or $20 or $30 gift, that will help. We need lots and lots of little gifts. If you can make a $100 gift or a $300 gift or $1,000 gift or bigger, we need those too. 

Here's the cool thing about it. Some friends of the ministry are offering to match your gift dollar for dollar if you make a donation here in December. So, if you give us $10, you just earned us $20. If you give us $100, you give $200. If you give us $1,000, you get $2,000. You can give a gift by visiting ReviveOurHearts.com, and click where you see the word “donate,” or you can call us at 1-800-569-5959.

If you listen to me on the main flagship Revive Our Hearts program, you probably have that number memorized as I do, because I say it every day. I'll say it again. 1-800-569-5959. Let us know you'd like to be a part of our goal to help others like you be fruitful in every season of life.

Erin: Amen. You said that number beautifully.

Dannah: Thank you. 

Erin: I went and grabbed a gift you sent me a few years ago. Dannah, one of my favorite things ever that you gave me is a custom apron that I am going to wear at this Christmas season as I'm prepping Christmas cookies. I will just pretend I'm on Removing the Upper Crust. 

Dannah: Yeah, well I sent it to you for your show one day. You never know.

Erin: It might have started here. 

Dannah: Becky may have never thought she was going to be on the Food Network.

Erin: I'm sure she didn’t. I don't have any sugar artist skill. 

Dannah: Maybe we should have a Grounded episode from our kitchens one day. 

Erin: Oooo la la. 

Dannah: We could have our own cooking show for one week.

Erin: Okay, we're gonna make it maybe in 2024. 

We'd like to wrap up episodes in lots of different ways. We like to pull in your comments when we're live. But as we said, we prerecorded this one to kind of help us navigate this season. But another way we like to wrap our episodes is just to speak some blessings over you. I know that we can't personally sit with each of you. We cannot affirm your gifts in the way we just did with each other. We've got a lot of history with each other. 

So, we can speak that with integrity because we know each other, but we do know you have gifts because God's given us each a gift. We just read that in 1 Peter. And we hope you know we're here every week because our gifts belong to you. We want you to benefit from the way that we are gifted and your gifts belong to us. So, we trust that you're using your gifts for the good of the kingdom today. We're cheering very, very loudly for you as you do that, and we always will.

Dannah: Yeah. Amen. What's up next week Portia?

Erin: You spilled the beans.

Portia: I know I'm ready to spill the beans. This was such a good episode. My brain is just kind of like tinkering on air. 

Erin: Yeah, lots to think about.

Portia: But I just want to tell you, I love you gals.

Erin: Love you too. 

Dannah: Love you too. 

Portia: All right, next week we have Rosaria Butterfield. She’s gonna be joining us, and we're gonna be talking about five lies our culture is telling you. It's going to be another don't-miss episode, so set your reminders now. 

Dannah: Let's wake up with hope together next week on Grounded. 

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