A Courageous Woman of God

Dannah Gresh: Here’s Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Do you know it takes courage to be a woman of God? It takes strength to go against the tide of this world's way of thinking and to reject wrong, deceptive ways of thinking that this world has foisted upon us and to say, "I'm going to love my husband. I'm going to love my children. I'm going to be a keeper at home." That takes strength and courage.

Dannah: This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Adorned: Living Out the Beauty of the Gospel Together, for August 20, 2024. I’m Dannah Gresh.

Over the last few weeks, we’ve been hearing about a woman who works hard. She has good business sense. She provides nice clothes for her family and prepares them for the future. This woman is described in Proverbs 31, and Nancy has been walking through the passage. Don’t forget, you can catch any episodes you missed on the Revive Our Hearts app, or at ReviveOurHearts.com.

As you study this chapter of Scripture, you can become more and more like the woman you’re reading about, no matter how weak and discouraged you sometimes feel. Nancy will explain how.

Nancy: I'm so grateful for those who take the time to write to us here at Revive Our Hearts and let us know how God is using this ministry in their lives, how they're growing. And I'm also grateful for those who write and share with us how they're struggling.

It helps me to know how to pray for those who are listening to this ministry and to know also what some of the sensitive areas are. I know that if one woman writes and says, "I'm struggling with this," she's probably representing a lot more who are maybe wrestling with some of the same issues. And my heart goes out to the women who write and share some major issues they struggle with in their walk with the Lord.

And, by the way, when I read these on Revive Our Hearts, I want you to know, we do have permission. We ask for permission and we get that before we would read something like I'm going to share with you here from a woman who wrote recently and said,

I found myself not being able to sleep tonight. I've been up since 2 and it is now 3:45 a.m. My mind keeps racing as I think of all my troubles. The house, it's like a money pit; the cars, the finances, the kids. There seems no end to the worry and weariness of it all, the pressure of it all.

There's a voice inside of me, the Holy Spirit, who says, "Don't let worry get ahold of you. You can trust Me." But I have a hard time coming to Him and telling Him my troubles—let He doesn't know them already. But He seems so far away. I know that I should go to the Lord, but I can't get past the wretchedness of myself and how I live my life.

I'm such a horrible Christian that I scarcely feel like I can call myself one. I don't spend time with God. I spend time running from God. I'm in bondage to overeating and the habits I've allowed into my life, staying up late, feeling so fatigued all the time. I feel overwhelmed with everything that life has thrown at me. I know I can't handle it all. My bondage keeps me down. I don't see that I can or ever will be free from it.

I've been successful at times, closer to the Lord; but then I slip right back to the place where I hate to be. I don't take the steps I know I need to take to change, and I feel powerless to do so."

Do you ever feel like you could have written at least part of this email? I know I do. she said,

I feel horrible and depressed for the poor example I am to my children. I want so much for them, more than what I am. I've been here stuck for years. I wonder if I'll ever break free from it. I would say that defeated is the operative for my life right now. I feel empty, spent, depleted. It seems I have no power. I feel the journey is too great for me. I started out on this journey with God twenty-two years ago on good solid ground and now I feel like I'm in sinking sand.

As I listened to that woman, I realized that she represents so many women today for whom the operative word would be the word "defeated," discouraged, empty, frustrated, trying to climb out of this pit, and sometimes just feeling like you fall deeper into it.

So how do we get from feeling defeated and frustrated and overwhelmed and stuck in life—the house, the finances, the children—you hear this woman and it feels like everything is crashing in on her. How do we get from those moments, those days, those seasons of life to become like the woman that we've been reading about in Proverbs chapter 31.

We come to verse 25 today, which paints for us a picture of a woman that's very different than the woman I just read about who sent that email. Verse 25 tells us:

Strength and honor are her clothing,
And she shall rejoice in time to come.

Here's the description of this woman's wardrobe. There's not a lot said in the passage about what this woman wears but here's one clear thing about really the most important items in her wardrobe. If you went to this woman's closet and said, "What are the most important items you have?" It would be strength and honor that are her clothing.

Now that word "strength" is sometimes translated in the Old Testament, "boldness or power or might." Have you ever made the mistake of thinking of a godly woman as a wimp? As a weak woman?

Isn't that the caricature that the feminist movement has given of Christian women? But that's not what it sounds like as I read this passage. In fact, you know it takes courage to be a woman of God. It takes strength to go against the tide of this world's way of thinking and to reject wrong, deceptive ways of thinking that this world has foisted upon us. To say, "I'm going to love my husband. I'm going to love my children. I'm going to be a keeper at home." That takes strength and courage. It takes power. It takes might of inner character.

Strength and honor are her clothing. She's not a weak woman; she's a courageous woman. She's a bold woman. She's strong in the Lord. Strength and honor are her clothing.

That word "honor" is sometimes translated "majesty, excellency, goodly glory." She's a woman of honor and dignity. In fact, let me read that verse to you from the Amplified version: "Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day, or the time to come] knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it."

This is speaking of a woman's inner character. That's her clothing. That's what matters most to her. Here's a woman who is not weak and whiny. She's not an energy taker; she's an energy giver. She's not controlled by her circumstances.

We know that our husband, no matter how godly he is, no matter how great a man he is, he's just a man. He has weaknesses and he has limitations and she has to live with this man.

She lives with children who don't start out as model children because children are sinners. They need to be trained. They need to be disciplined and trained in the ways of the Lord.

So she lives with the very same kinds of issues in her home that you live with in your home, but she's not controlled by those circumstances regardless of how her husband responds. He comes home from a hard work day and he's wanting his needs met and maybe he's being a little selfish because he's been giving all day and now he wants to be on the receiving end. I mean, it's a real marriage just like your marriage is a real marriage.

And yet in the midst of those pressures and circumstances, this woman is clothed with strength and with honor. She's not controlled by her circumstances; she's controlled by the power of the Spirit of God within her that gives her the strength to respond in a gracious way when her teenagers are acting like teenagers and when her husband is acting like a teenager and when she feels like acting like a teenager. It doesn't matter what time of the month; it doesn't matter what was going around her. She's clothed with strength and honor.

Now that doesn't mean she doesn't blow it. It doesn't mean she doesn't fail. She does. But she knows how to get up, confess her sin, appropriate God's forgiveness and go on.

She doesn't wallow in her failure. Yeah, she blew it. Yeah, she said something she shouldn't have said. She goes back and makes it right. She seeks forgiveness. That's a woman who is clothed with strength and honor.

When I think of a woman like this, I think of Mary, the mother of Jesus. There is a little description that is given to us in John chapter 19, at the cross of Christ. Now, here's a woman whose son, her firstborn, is being crucified, the most painful form of execution known to man at that time.

She knows that He's perfect. He's never done a single thing wrong. And yet He's here exposed, naked, shamed, humiliated before the watching world, dying as a common criminal, had done nothing to deserve it. And here's his mother. You might expect to find this woman dissolved in a heap of tears and hysteria at the foot at that cross. But she's not.

You know what John tells us in chapter 19:25, "There stood at the cross, his mother, Mary." That little word "stood," she's standing there. Now, is she sad? Yes! Is she grieving? Yes. Is she perplexed? Of course! Does she fully understand what's happening? Probably not. But is she controlled by her circumstances? No. Is she controlled by the power of the Spirit of God? Yes!

So she is able to stand clothed in strength and honor in the midst of circumstances that would send many of us as women into convulsions of hysteria. She's not overwhelmed because there's a power within her as a virtuous woman, a power of strength and honor.

I think of Ruth. She lost her husband, she lost her father-in-law. She and her bitter mother-in-law moved from Moab to Israel where she knew she would face racial prejudice, because the Jews did not like the Moabites. She knew she would face an uncertain future as a widow in a culture that had no room for widows.

She was a poor woman. The fact that she worked in the barley harvest; that was a poor person's crop. She was just a gleaner. She could barely subsist, just eke out an existance. She had to work very, very hard.

We picture someone like Ruth, just this model of a woman, just this beautiful woman; but she had rough hands, rough skin because she had been working hard in that barley field. But she was a woman who was clothed in strength and honor because she knew Jehovah. She knew what He was like; she knew He could be trusted. And that's the key to the second part of this verse, "She shall rejoice in time to come."

"Strength and honor are her clothing, she shall rejoice in time to come." If you're reading from the New International Version, it says, "She can laugh at the days to come." And several of the translations do have the word "laugh" there.

Aren't you glad to know that laughter is part of a being a woman of virtue? To be able to enjoy life, to be able to laugh at things that are fun and that are enjoyable.

One of the other translations says, "She's cheerful about the future." I like that word "cheerful." And I think we need to be reminded"¦as women, we get so caught up in our daily frustrations and the realities of what we're facing in life that we tend to become uptight.

Now, maybe I should just speak for myself. Maybe you never do that. But I find that when I'm under deadlines, under pressure . . . I've been working on a book recently and I'm facing some deadlines and getting ready for these recording sessions. I find that in the midst of being squeezed, that I often am not a lot of fun to be around.

I get uptight and consumed with my circumstances and with what is going on around me? I think that sometimes when people look at me and if they didn't know the Lord they might think, If that's what being a Christian is all about, I'm not sure that I really want to be one. I want to be the kind of woman that makes other people think that knowing Christ and serving Christ is the greatest thing in the whole world. Thinking about this verse has reminded me of how important that is.

Some of you, as moms, some of you have a lot of little children, some of you have teenagers, some of you are homeschooling, some of you are carrying a real burden on your heart about older children and their spiritual condition. It's right to carry those burdens. But make sure, in the burden bearing, that you're in the yoke with Christ and letting Him carry that burden with you so that people won't start to look at you and think that if that's what being a mother is all about, I don't think I ever want to be a mother.

It's important for your husband and your children to have a wife and a mom who looks at life with joy. Now that doesn't mean that everything in life is joyful or fun or happy.

There are a lot of things in life that are sad. And there are a lot of things in life that are hard. So there's a balance to all of this, but I think some of us get so serious and so heavy. Maybe I'm speaking out of my own tendency that I need to be reminded that the woman who's clothed with strength and honor can rejoice as she looks to the future. She can be cheerful as she thinks about what's coming.

I tend to get worried and pressured about things that haven't even happened yet. I looked at my schedule for the next eight or nine months and I can get uptight just thinking about what's coming, but it's not here yet. But if I'm clothed with strength and honor that come from being in the presence of the Lord, then I can look to the future with calmness, with peace, with joy, with anticipation.

Your husband and your children need a cheerful wife and mom in the home. Now not every moment is the moment to be cheerful. So take all of this in balance, but some of us are rarely cheerful.

That's why I like people like my friend Suzanne over here who makes me smile. She's an encourager. And she's a cheerful woman. I know that Suzanne and Don, you've had some tough things in your family. I know that there are some things that are hard in your life, but you have found a joy in the Lord that I envy, I want. I want it to describe my walk with the Lord.

So here's a woman who's confident. She's free from fear; she's free from fear about the future; she's free from anxiety and from worry.

I got an email recently from a woman who said,

I'm a very protective mom. I'm an overprotective mom. I heard you on Revive Our Hearts recently quoting a verse that said, "If God doesn't guard the city, then we watch in vain" (Psalm 127:1) and that the same applies to our children.

Boy did a lightbulb go on for me. I haven't been trusting God with my children's safety. I've repented of that sin. [Boy she called it a sin, she recognized it for what it was.] I feel so much more relaxed. I realized that God is so much bigger than I am and that He can protect my children far more than I ever could.

Now, here's a mom that when she looked at just herself and her circumstances, she became fearful and when she became fearful, she became overprotective. Now, you have a protective role in the lives of your children. But there's a point at which you can start to smother them and be controlling. And when you're afraid, the tendency is to become a controller.

But the woman of God who is virtuous is a noble woman who is woman who fears the Lord; therefore, she doesn't have to fear the future. She's free from fear. She's free from anxiety. She's free from worry, so she doesn't have to be always fixing everything and everyone around her. She doesn't have to be controlling her circumstances because she knows that God is in control of her circumstances.

There are a lot of women that I know who are fearful women. Now, we all have times when we become fearful. But I know some women who are just characterized by fear. They're afraid of the weather, so they always have to be sure there's not a storm coming or a tornado or hurricane or whatever. They're afraid of financial disaster. We live in days when economics are uncertain. There are a lot of layoffs. There are women living in fear of whether they and their families are going to make it financially. They are in fear for the children's safety.

The woman who is clothed with strength and honor that comes from God doesn't have to live with those fears. Now, that doesn't mean that the problems won't come. They will. But it means that she knows that there is a God in heaven who is controlling that weather, controlling the environment, controlling her circumstance, who is better able to care for her and her husband and her children, better able to meet their needs than she possibly could.

And as result, she can relax. She can smile. She can look with joy upon her future.

Lord, we need to confess to You that a lot of times we do live in fear, in panic, in worry, rather than in confidence and joy and peace. It's so foolish of us to think that we could control our circumstances. We can't control the weather; we can't control our children; we can't control our health; we can't control our finances in large measure. But we know Someone who does and can.

Thank You that You can be trusted. We can look to You to control our future and everything that concerns us. Lord, make us women who rejoice, who are filled with joy, who are cheerful when we look to the future. I pray in Jesus' name, amen.

Dannah: If you’ve been tempted by fear, I hope today’s message from Proverbs 31 has encouraged you to begin looking to the future with hope.

To help remind you of the truth of God’s good plan for your life, you can get a copy of Biblical Portrait of Womanhood, by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. In this booklet she talks about how you were designed to glorify God and how you can embrace the way God made you as a woman. This is a core part of our message at Revive Our Hearts as we want to help women around the world thrive in Christ as they delight in His design.

With your gift of any amount to this ministry, you can request a copy of Biblical Portrait of Womanhood. It’s available to you this month as our way of thanking you for your support. Visit ReviveOurHearts.com, or call us at 1-800-569-5959.

Today we talked a bit about being courageous women. That’s so important, especially as we are tempted by fear in so many areas. Next time, Nancy’s going to talk about looking forward to the future with joy instead of fear.

Let’s end our time hearing one final story from Nancy. This is from a series called “Facing the Future with Joy.” You can hear that entire series by visiting ReviveOurHearts.com.

Nancy: Vibia Perpetua was a twenty-two-year-old young woman who was martyred at the end of the second century in the city of Carthage, North Africa. We have a detailed account of her martyrdom based on the diary that she kept up to the day of her execution and then three eyewitness accounts that were written shortly after her death. As you read these accounts, it shows a woman of strength, dignity, and joy, even in the face of excruciating trials.

Perpetua was from a wealthy background. Her father was a nobleman. He loved her dearly, but he was not a believer, and that made her life difficult at points. She was married. She had one young son. Perpetua and her brother Satyrus were arrested because of their profession of faith in Christ.

Arrested along with them was a slave named Felicitas, who was eight months pregnant. They were thrown into prison along with others and condemned to die in the arena. While they were awaiting execution, as we read these reports, the story emerges that Perpetua cared for the other prisoners and encouraged them to be fearless in suffering for Christ.

Perpetua's father came to the prison often, and he would sometimes be holding her little son in his arms. He pled with her to renounce her faith so that her life could be spared. Here's a part of her journal. She says:

When I was in the hands of the persecutors, my father in his tender solicitude tried hard to pervert [or turn] me from the faith.

"My father," I said, "you see this pitcher. Can we call it by any other name than what it is?"

"No," he said.

"Nor can I . . . call myself by any other name than that of Christian." . . .

"Daughter," he said, "have pity on my gray hairs; have pity on thy father. Do not give me over to disgrace. Behold thy brothers, thy mother, and thy aunt: behold thy child who cannot live without thee. Do not destroy us all."

Thus spake my father, kissing my hands, and throwing himself at my feet. And I wept because of my father, for he alone of all my family would not rejoice in my martyrdom. So I comforted him, saying:

"In this trial what God determines will take place. We are not in our own keeping, but in God's."¹

Two days before the Christians were to be executed, Felicitas gave birth to a daughter. The prisoners' final meal together was celebrated on the eve of the emperor's birthday as they were to be sacrificed the next day. They celebrated their last meal as a “love feast.” The jailer watched the spiritual strength and dignity of his prisoners and was so taken by the whole thing that he ended up giving his heart to Christ.

The next day, March the 7th, in the year 202, Perpetua and four companions were led to the arena. We are told that this young woman was radiant and high-spirited. Without hesitation, she stepped into the stadium, and she refused to wear the pagan, religious costumes that the Roman officials tried to dress the condemned prisoners in as a symbol that they were being offered as sacrifices to the gods.

The crowd demanded that the Christians be scourged. Then a boar, a bear, and a leopard were loosed upon the men, and the women were attacked by a wild bull. Perpetua was thrown and tossed and then gored by the bull but managed somehow to survive. She called out to the others to stand fast in the faith and love one another.

At that point, a young gladiator attempted to stab her to death with his sword, but his first blow failed. So the eyewitness account is that she guided his trembling hand to her own throat for the second fatal blow, and then it was written that, “She and her companions went to death with joy and light hearts,” joy and light hearts.^{1, 2} 

“She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet . . . Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future” (NASB). “She shall rejoice in time to come” (KJV).

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

All Scripture is taken from the NKJV unless otherwise noted.

1 http://www.stfelicitas.com/patronsaint.html

2 Perpetua's account appears in Davis, William Stearns, Readings in Ancient History Vol. II (1913); Duruy, Victor, History of Rome and the Roman People (1883); Gibbon, Edward, The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (1896–1902). "Death of a Martyr, 203 AD" EyeWitness to History, www.eyewitnesstohistory.com (2004). 

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