Free from Addiction

Dannah Gresh: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth reminds us that the next generation is watching our attitudes and actions.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Moms, you’ll never be able to govern your children effectively if you can’t govern your own passions. And you won’t be able to teach your children sobriety, temperance, and self-control if you’re not a model of sobriety, temperance, and self-control.

Dannah: This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast for August 7, 2024. I’m Dannah Gresh, with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Lies Women Believe.

Nancy: We've been looking all this week at a mother's cautions and a mother's counsel to her son, who was then a young prince who would one day be king. If you've been with us, you know that we're looking at Proverbs 31. Let me just read the opening paragraph.

"The words of King Lemuel"—whom we think may have been King Solomon. Lemuel may have been his mother's fond term for him. ". . . the utterance which his mother [who would then have been Bathsheba] taught him." She says:

What, my son?
What, son of my womb?
What, son of my vows? (v. 2)

Then she gives him cautions and counsel—godly cautions and counsel—to protect him from things that he would face later in life and to prepare him for his calling and role to be king.

So she says in verse 3, and we looked at this yesterday:

Do not give your strength to women,
Nor your ways to that which destroys kings. 

She is saying, "Son, be a man. Don't give your manliness, your distinctive strength as a man, over to women. And son, be morally upright. Be morally pure. If you fail to be," she tells him, "there will be consequences. Immorality destroys even kings."

Now she comes in verse 4, and these are the words that she taught her son, which now as a grown-up king he is telling others what his mother taught him. She says:

It is not for kings, O Lemuel,
It is not for kings to drink wine,
Nor for princes intoxicating drink. 

We come now to a caution or a warning that this king's mother gave to him when he was still a young man, a caution against overindulgence. She warns him about failing to be temperate, about the dangers of lack of self-control. She reminds him that he is going to be a king. He is a king in the making.

As you're raising your sons and your daughters, remember that you are rearing young men and women to be kings and queens for God, to be spiritual royalty. "You are a royal priesthood," Peter tells us. You want your children not just to be ordinary, not just to fit in with the crowd, not just to fit in with our culture or to survive it, but to be spiritual examples and leaders and revolutionaries. So she reminds him, "Remember who you are; you are a king. You're destined to lead."

Then she reminds him, "You cannot govern others well if you are a slave to your own appetites, your own passions and your own lusts. Remember your calling. Remember your position. Then act in light of it."

I would say that to each of us. Remember who you are. Remember whose you are. Remember that we're children of God, heirs of God, the Scripture tells us, joint-heirs with Christ. The Scripture says one day we will rule the universe and even the angels.

That says to me what this mother told her son: you better learn to rule yourself here and now if you're ever going to rule others effectively. Moms, you will never be able to govern your children effectively if you can't govern your own passions. You won't be able to teach your children sobriety and temperance and self-control if you're not a model of sobriety and temperance and self-control.

Now in the Old Testament, kings were warned against drunkenness, against drinking too much. This warning from a mother to her son who will be king is one of those warnings. But it wasn't just kings in the Old Testament. It was also priests—those who served in the temple or the tabernacle who were told that they were not to drink when they were fulfilling their priestly role.

Leviticus 10:9 tells us, "Do not drink wine or intoxicating drink, neither you nor your sons with you, when you go into the tabernacle of meeting, lest you die." This is a command given to the priests.

Most commentators agree that Aaron's two sons, Nadab and Abihu, offered strange incense to the Lord and were killed. You read about that in Leviticus 10. Most commentators agree that it was because of their drunkenness, that they had done something wrong, there was an error in their judgment. Their thinking was clouded when they went in to serve as priests. And it was their drunkenness that resulted ultimately in their deaths as priests.

Ezekiel 44 tells us, "No priest shall drink wine when he enters the inner court." So for priests to drink or for kings to drink in the Old Testament was considered dangerous. It would hinder them from fulfilling their God-given calling and role.

That's what this mother understands and warns her son about. "It's not for kings, O Lemuel, it's not for kings to drink wine, nor for princes intoxicating drink." Verse 5:

Lest they drink and forget the law,
And pervert the justice of all the afflicted.
Give strong drink to him who is perishing,
And wine to those who are bitter of heart.
Let him drink and forget his poverty,
And remember his misery no more. (vv. 5–7)

What she is saying in effect is that though others may drink as a means to escape from their problems and their pain and their pressures, kings are not to do so. Now, this paragraph is not promoting drinking for people who aren't kings.

Alcohol abuse, drug abuse results in a mind that is not clear, not sharp. It dulls your senses. Twice we read that this person forgets. They forget the law. They forget their poverty. It dulls their senses.

Those who have, as we do, a high and holy calling as children of God will find that when we give ourselves to overindulgence in anything, including alcohol, drugs, and substances like these, that we will forfeit our effectiveness. We will forfeit our calling. She is pointing out to her son that people use these types of things to escape from reality—as a narcotic to dull the pain, to drown out their sorrows. She is saying, "You're a king. You can't do that. You cannot afford to have your senses clouded."

You say, "Okay, that's for the Old Testament. I'm not a king. I'm not a priest." But the Scripture tells us in the New Testament that Christ loved us and washed us from our sins in His own blood and has made us kings and priests to God.

We read in 1 Timothy 3 that this is a qualification for spiritual leadership in the Church. Elders in the church, spiritual leaders, are not to be addicted to wine (see v. 3). Deacons are "not to be given to much wine" (v. 8). Lest you think, Well, I'm a woman, I would never be in that position, I Timothy 3:11 tells us, "Likewise, their wives must be temperate."

So if you are not temperate, you actually can disqualify your husband from a position of spiritual leadership in the family of God. Titus 2 tells us that we are to follow after the things which are appropriate for sound doctrine, and one of those is that older women are not to be "given to much wine" (v. 3). "Given to" means "to be enslaved, to be addicted."

Let me just say if you're not temperate as a younger woman, you won't just wake up one morning and find yourself now as an older woman being temperate. We are becoming older women and need to be learning habits of temperance and discipline now.

I think it's so important that we not allow ourselves to become enslaved to anything as women of God that could make us less alert, less sensitive, less tuned to God, or that could make us less effective at fulfilling our God-given task. What are you using in excess as a drug, to numb the pain? Maybe dulling your senses and your sensitivity to God.

I talked some time ago with a woman who had been abused as a child growing up and had a dad who was not able to give her what she needed. I talked to her about how God wants us to be willing to walk into the pain rather than numbing it, as she for years had been doing in various ways.

She wrote me back and she said, "I realized that one way I was numbing myself was with the TV. I turned it off about a month ago. I wanted to connect with Him or with people, and not with the TV." But then she was able to walk into the pain and to let God take her into a process of healing.

There are so many ways that women today have of escaping the pain. This mother says to this son, "Don't do that. Don't get into anything that will enslave you or addict you or cloud your reason or your thinking."

She goes on to say in verses 8 and 9, "Here's why. It's because you have a mission to fulfill."

Open your mouth for the speechless,
And the cause of all who are appointed to die.
Open your mouth; judge righteously,
And plead the cause of the poor and the needy.

She is saying, "You don't live for yourself. Your calling is to live a selfless and sacrificial life. Your calling is to live a selfless and sacrificial life. Instead of using your wealth and your resources to hurt yourself, to drown out your sorrows, to cloud your thinking; use those resources to do good to others, to minister to others who are in sorrow or pain or need." It's a call to get involved, to look around and see what the needs are, and to use your position as a woman of God, to use your influence, to do something about the problems around you. You will not be able to do that if you yourself are enslaved to anything other than the Lord.

You will not be able to do that, to be a minister of grace and healing and help in the lives of your sons and daughters and your mate and your friends and your community and your fellow church members if you yourself are enslaved to anything other than the Lord.

So is there something in your life that you've been giving in to? It can be food, it can be shopping, it can be friends that you look to to fill the empty places and not numb the pain. It may be your computer that becomes an escape for you. It may be your job. It's your way of running from the pressure, running from the problems.

What is keeping you in bondage? What is numbing your capacity to experience all that God has for you and to be used of God? You've got to be willing to say, "I'm not going to live in bondage to anything or anyone other than the Lord Jesus Christ."

Father, would You please identify for us ways that we may be running from, escaping, numbing our pain? Would You give us the courage to run into it and to say "no" to anything that would enslave us? We want to live as women who are free under the lordship of Jesus Christ.

I pray for women who are wrestling with addictive behaviors and substances, whether it's alcohol and drugs, illicit sex, or something that can be in and of itself harmless, as in friends or books.

I pray that You would help us to identify what are the things that have enslaved us, and then to be willing to walk in the power of Your Spirit to say "no" to anything that would be addictive in our lives and to say "yes" to Your lordship and Your rule in our lives that we may become instruments of mercy and grace to help others in their time of need. I pray in Jesus' name, amen.

Dannah: That’s Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth leading us through some very important questions. Is there any addictive behavior enslaving you and keeping you from being fully effective in the work God has called you to do? I hope you’ll take some time to ask the Lord to show you your heart. Don’t just let that question pass by.

In the course of that teaching from Proverbs 31, Nancy addressed the topic of alcohol use for believers.

Nancy continued to explore that topic when she taught a series on Titus 2 called “God’s Beautiful Design for Women.” Let’s listen to a clip of that series. We’ll compare what the book of Proverbs and the book of Titus have to say, and continue to seek practical wisdom.

We’re going to pick up in Titus 2 verse 3. It says “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine.” Or as one translation says, “Not addicted to much wine.”

Nancy: Now, if you don’t drink, or you’re not an alcoholic—you don’t struggle with excessive drinking—you might be tempted to think, Wow! Finally, here’s a session that I don’t really need! I can turn the radio off, turn my podcast off, put down the transcript. I don’t think I need this. Let me just say, “Not so fast.” This is something we all need. God knows that—that’s why He put it here. eEvery word of God’s Word is . . . God’s Word. It’s inspired.

The fact that the Scripture addresses this word to older women means that we all need to take heed to what he’s saying. And we need to consider, “How does this apply to me?” Even if you’ve never touched a drop of alcohol, how does this apply to you?

First, we need to see that “slaves to much wine”—that phrase, I think represents more than just being an alcoholic. I believe it represents a mindset, a spirit of overindulgence that invariably leads to bondage, to slavery.

It’s a temptation to eat, drink, and be merry, to live a life of ease, to pamper the flesh, to do whatever your flesh loves to do. So Paul is concerned is concerned about overindulgence—about too much of anything in our lives. Then he’s also concerned about our tendency to become enslaved (“not slaves to much wine”) to certain substances, habits or activities that we may consider essential to our happiness, our sanity, or our survival. “I can’t live without this!” That is slavery.

Titus 2: “And not slaves to much wine,” (v. 3 ESV) is not just a prohibition against alcohol addiction. It’s also a warning, a caution against any practice, any behavior, any craving that has us in its grip—that enslaves us.

Let's hear what God has to say about this. The Bible clearly and consistently condemns drunkenness. You say, “Of course!” Well, did you know that is not something that is widely assumed—even among Christians—today? I’ve heard of Christian younger people saying, “It’s all right. The Bible doesn’t really mean that.”

I think we need to just remind ourselves that the Bible clearly and consistently condemns drunkenness. One definition I’ve seen of drunkenness is, “Being in a state in which one’s physical and mental faculties are impaired by an excess of alcoholic drink; intoxicated.” So drunkenness has to do with a loss of control.

There is not a single positive word in the Scripture about the overuse—or the abuse—of alcohol. To the contrary, drunkenness—in the Scripture—is associated with sensuality, immorality, carousing, violence, works of darkness, sinful and pagan behaviors. These things go together. Where there is drunkenness, there are going to be other things that are not good things.

Now we know that drunkenness is prohibited, biblically. But what about drinking at all . . . so-called “social drinking”? Now, I realize that sincere believers who love God's Word hold different positions on this topic, and we are not going to resolve that today. I will say there are some verses in Scripture that it is clearly represent wine as a gift from God intended for our enjoyment. There are some other verses that focus on the potentional dangers of drinking.

It is clear that the Scripture does not prohibit or forbid the drinking of alcoholic beverages. It gives us some limits about drinking, about excessive drinking, but it does not forbid the drinking of alcoholic beverages at all.

That means that Christians have freedom on this subject. And I want you to hear me say that because by the end of today’s session you may be wondering: Does she think it’s okay if I feel the freedom to drink? And I’m going to start by saying, “Yes. I believe that Christians have freedom in this matter and that we must not make rules for others that go beyond Scripture, and let’s not judge people’s spirituality or their love for God on the basis of our list.” Okay, that said, it doesn’t mean that we are free to do whatever we feel like doing. 

I think there are several questions that are helpful for us to ask as we consider whether we can or should drink alcohol. And these questions can also be applied to other potentially enslaving behaviors.

So if you have no interest in alcohol, don’t tune out and say, “Oh, this doesn’t apply to me.” You do have interest in something that could be potentially enslaving. So whatever that something is, take these questions and apply it to that.

Number one: Is it harming your body?

First Corinthians 6 tells us that our physical body is the temple, the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit. If you’re a child of God, God lives in your body.

Now, in that context, it’s speaking specifically of not using the body, therefore, for sexual immorality, but the same warning could be applied to any sinful or harmful use of our physical body. So we have to ask the question: Is this drinking, the way I’m drinking, or some other habits, some other substance I’m using—other-the-counter meds, whatever—is it harming my body?

The physical risks associated with drinking too much, whether it’s on a single occasion or over time, those risks are well documented. So, first of all, is it harming your body?

Number two: Does it or could it enslave you?

We’re looking at this phrase in Titus 2 that says we are not to be slaves to much wine. That word "slaves" is "to be held and controlled against one’s will."

One woman told me that in the days when she was drinking, she would call her husband before leaving work. She promised to come straight home, which she fully intended to do, but there was a local bar that was on her way home. She said, “I couldn’t drive past it without stopping. I tried. I just couldn’t.” Now, obviously, this woman was not free. She was a slave.

Now, as I’ve said before, drinking, of course, is not the only habit that can have this kind of effect on a person, but the nature of alcohol, which the American Medical Association classifies as an addictive drug, the very nature of alcohol is that it can take us and hold us. It is addictive. That doesn’t mean everyone who drinks it will get addicted, but some will.

So when we say: Should I drink at all, even moderately? One thing I would encourage you to consider is the potential risk of becoming drunk or addicted.

In 1 Corinthians 6, Paul quotes a popular slogan in Corinth. The slogan was: “All things are lawful for me.” All things are lawful for me. And Paul says, “Yes, but, I will not be enslaved by anything. Yes, I can do—as a Christian—I’m free to do whatever God gives me the direction to do, but I’m not going to be enslaved by anything.”

Paul was at liberty to enjoy earthly blessings with a clear conscience, but he wouldn’t allow himself, even in his freedom, to be enslaved by anything.

So, number one: Is it harming my body? Number two: Does it or could it enslave me?

Number three: Could my drinking, could your drinking, cause spiritual damage to others or lead them into sin? Might it be all right for you, but in the process of your doing it, might you be the means of causing someone who is not strong in their faith to be tripped up spiritually or morally?

Here we’re talking about the law of love—not just the freedom we have in Christ, but the law of love.

Now, those in the New Testament were sometimes saying, “You know, we’re free from the law. We don’t have to obey the law. That was Old Testament.” Some people say that today. But Paul talks a lot about the law in the New Testament, and one of the laws he emphasizes is the law of love—and that’s the responsibility, the obligation, to love others more than we love ourselves and our liberty.

Don’t pass judgment on others when you’re debating questionable topics. I would put, not the abuse of alcohol in that category, because that’s clearly wrong, but I would put the use of alcohol in this category. Don’t place a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a Christian brother or sister. Don’t trip them up in their faith.

So here’s a key checkpoint in thinking about such matters as the use of alcohol: which trumps the other? My freedom to drink—or do some other questionable, debatable matter—or the possible negative affect my example of drinking may have on others? And the answer is, "What does the law of love require in that situation?"

To limit your liberty for the sake of someone else who may be led into sin as a result of your exercising your liberty, that’s not to capitulate to legalism, as some would suggest. It’s to exercise a greater liberty, which is to live by the law of love.

Now, I want to say it again: I have friends who are devoted followers of Christ who believe they are being faithful to Scripture by exercising the liberty to drink in moderation. And that may be where you land in good conscience before God. And I say, “Fine.”

I just want to ask, "Have you thought it through?" Don’t just do this because it’s something that you just do. Have you thought it through in light of these kinds of questions?

I want to say here at the end of this session that, in our day, and in a culture where addictions are so epidemic and destructive, my personal opinion—and that’s what it is—is that it’s the better part of wisdom to voluntarily choose to limit our liberty to drink rather than to exercise it.

Now, you’re not accountable to me. You’re God’s servant. You’re accountable to Him. So you wrestle it through. You think it through. I’m just telling you that’s where my heart takes me in thinking through this issue.

Ask the Lord to give you wisdom and clarity about your own life, considering your own circumstances, your own bent, and seeking above all to walk in the fullness and under the control of the Holy Spirit because that’s what sets us free from every addiction, every idol, and every potential of doing damage or harm to another believer.

Dannah: That’s Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, offering practical advice from Titus 2 about alcohol. That clip comes from a series on Titus 2 called, “God’s Beautiful Design for Women.” We took a little detour into Titus as part of our current series on Proverbs 31.

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