Greet One Another

Dannah Gresh: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth tells us about something we read in 2 Corinthians.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Paul says, “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” So what in the world is all this about?

Dannah: For North American Evangelicals, this may sound strange, but some of our listeners will find it completely normal.

Nancy: I’ve been in churches in some parts of the world where when you come and when you leave, the women grab you, and they kiss you—not just on one cheek, but on both cheeks, and sometimes on the lips. And I’ll admit, for me, it took a little getting used to.

Dannah: Whether we’re familiar with this custom or not, what’s the heart behind this biblical command we need to hear? We’ll unpack it today on the Revive Our Hearts podcast. Our host is Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. She’s the author of Adorned: Living Out the Beauty of the Gospel Together. It’s December 30, 2021, and I’m Dannah Gresh.

Nancy’s in day two of a series called “A Blessing for the Year End and the New Year.” Here’s Nancy.

Nancy: Well, I always like taking time over the last few days of the year and then in the first few days of a new year to recalibrate, to just stop and think about where I am, where my walk with the Lord is, what He’s doing in my life, what He wants to do in my life in the days ahead, just kind of look back and look forward.

And the passage we’re looking at these last few days of this year is a passage that will help us do that. So we’re looking at the last paragraph of the book of 2 Corinthians, chapter 13. So, if you’re where you can scroll there on your phone or turn there in your Bible, I want to encourage you to do that. This is the passage that I want to bless you at the end of this year but also a passage I want you to take with you into the new year.

We looked yesterday at the exhortations in verse 11 of 2 Corinthians 13. Paul says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice.” This is a greeting. This is something you say when you meet somebody or when you leave somebody. “Rejoice!” It’s a “be a happy Christian, be a joy infuser, a joy giver.”

And then he says, “Become mature, be encouraged, (or give comfort to one another), be of the same mind, and be at peace.”

If you missed our conversation about those exhortations yesterday, you can find it at ReviveOurHearts.com or on the Revive Our Hearts app.

And then we saw a blessing that’s promised to those believers and churches that follow these exhortations. What will be the case? “The God of love and peace will be with you.”

I don’t know what’s going to happen this year—you don’t either, this coming year—but we know there are going to be some hard things in our world and in our lives. But the promise is if we’re living out this mandate that Paul gives us, “That the God of love and the God of peace will be with us.” And that’s enough to take into this new year.

Now we come to verse 12, and it gets a little complicated here, because it’s verse 12 in the Christian Standard Bible that I’m using, but in most translations, it’s verse 13. They just arranged the verses a little differently, so I’m going to say verse 12 because that’s what it is in my translation. And we see here what is the expression of “God with us.” The God of love and the God of peace is with us, so what’s that going to result in? Here we go with verse 12:

Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the saints send you greetings.

Now, I want to unpack that verse in our time today. And first, let’s look at just the beginning and the end of that verse. “Greet one another,” and “All the saints send you greetings.”

So the Christians in Corinth, the ones who are receiving this letter, were to greet one another in person because they lived near each other, they were together. Paul was probably writing this letter from Philippi, hundreds of miles away. And the believers who were around him in Philippi did not personally know the believers in Corinth, but they sent greetings to the believers in Corinth because they realized we’re part of the same Body. We’re part of the family of God.

Now, when we are physically together with other believers, as we are in this room, as you are when you’re with Christian friends, as you are when you’re at church, we’re to greet others in person. And when it’s not possible to be physically together, we can look for other means of communication. But Paul is saying whether you’re together in proximity to each other, or you’re separated by distance, or separated by a pandemic, we are to greet one another.

Now, that word “greet” literally means “to draw to oneself.” It means “to enfold in the arms, to welcome, to embrace.” It’s a word that is used when you greet somebody, like you meet them, you haven’t seen them in a while. It’s a word that’s also used when you are parting ways from each other. You’ve been together, but now you’re going to be apart. So, when you meet and when you leave, this is a word that you use—you greet one another.

In fact, you read in Acts chapter 20, about the elders of the church in Ephesus who came to meet with the apostle Paul whom they knew they would never see again. It was a final farewell. And it says these men “embraced Paul and kissed him.” That’s the sense of this word, “greet one another.”

Now, if you consider yourself an extrovert—how many in the room consider yourself more of an extrovert? Not so many! Well, if you’re one of those few, then this is easy for you. You just love walking into a crowded room or church, talking to people, greeting them, chatting, introducing yourself to new people—the more the better. Right? 

If you’re more introverted—raise your hand if you think you’re on that spectrum—some of you have no idea what you are, or you’re maybe in-between. But if you’re more introverted, this whole thing may sound like work. Maybe it even scares you or makes you break out in hives the thought of having to greet people.

When you go to church and you have all those greeters lined up inside the door as you enter the church, you want to find a way to avoid passing by that gauntlet. And when the pastor says, “Turn and greet those around you,” you want to disappear. You hope nobody notices you. (I see some heads nodding.) When you walk into a room full of people, all of a sudden you feel the need to head to the restroom or to escape somewhere. At the end of church, you want to get out of there fast. And I’m going to say: Been there, done that. I relate to a lot of this.

But Paul says, “Greet one another.” And this directive is not just for extroverts. It’s for all of us.

Now, this doesn’t do away with personality differences. Those are God-created, and they’re fine to have. But it does call all of us—however we’re wired—to get out of ourselves, out of our comfort zones, and to engage with others in the body of Christ. “Greet one another.” That’s for all of us. It’s not just the job of the official greeters at church. It’s my job. It’s your job. It’s our job.

And could I suggest: Don’t wait for others to greet you? You greet them. Maybe you feel that your church is not real friendly. Look around. Who can you greet? Think of:

• children
• elderly people
• people with disabilities
• people who are sitting in a corner, nobody around them, not engaging in conversation, and they tend to sit alone, to be off to themselves
• a mom who’s never alone, who’s got a bunch of kids always hanging on her. She needs to be greeted.
• visitors
• church leaders and those who lead in the worship
• people who may feel invisible at church. People hardly ever greet them—nursery workers, parking lot attendants, singles, single parents. 

That’s our job to reach out to them.

Now this is not just a formality. It’s not just a rote exercise to get your hand out, “Hello, how are you doing? Hello.” But it suggests that we’re to greet one another intentionally, thoughtfully. And when we do this, it opens the door to deeper conversations and relationships.

There are a lot of us who wish that we had more rich, meaningful, life-giving relationships. A lot of people that you’d never imagine because they seem to be so outgoing and upfront, but a lot of those people are really lonely. They feel alone.

But those deep relationships that we crave, that we long for, to be known and to know, those kind of relationships don’t start that way. They start with “greeting one another,” saying hello, reaching out, expressing interest in others, asking questions, looking for opportunities to bless those around us with even simple greetings. “I’m so glad to see you. I’m so glad you’re here today. I’ve missed you. How has your week been?”

It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. It doesn’t have to be intimidating. It doesn’t have to be daunting. (I do ask questions for a living, so sometimes I can be a little intimidating when I’m throwing questions out to people.) But it’s showing an interest in people.

Now, you may assume that this is easy for me or for people who tend to be up-front teachers. I’m just telling you, honestly, my natural bent is to be reclusive in a crowd of people, to hang back. I find it really difficult to initiate conversations, even small-talk conversations, with people that I don’t know well, and sometimes even with people I do know well. Maybe you can relate to that. 

During the last couple of years, with the pandemic and masks, online church services, a lot of us have gotten out of practice with this simple directive. “Greet one another.” I think it may be more important now than it has been in a long time. It’s something we need to recover in our relationships and in our fellowship. 

And let me say this, “greeting one another,” starts at home. Most of us can greet people outside our homes when we have to. It’s a matter of being polite, of looking respectable. We can be warm and outgoing. We can show interest in them.

But some of us become withdrawn, closed up, uncommunicative, even downright rude with the people we live with. They’re used to us. We’re used to them. “I don’t have to be nice to them.” Now, we would never say that, but is that not the way we act sometimes?

Listen, when your mate or your kids walk in the room—greet them! Acknowledge their presence. Let them know you’re glad they’re there. Let them know they matter to you.

My sweet husband Robert is the best at this. He’s so good at it. He’s taught me a lot about this. When I walk in the room, that man’s eyes light up. We’ve been married now for six years. We’re not newlyweds anymore. We’re kind of like old married folks, but he still does this. He goes, “Oh boy! My love!” (He did it this morning.) “My precious girl!”

Now, I lived alone for a lot of my adult life, until I got married at the age of fifty-seven, and this is not so natural for me. Well, it takes practice. And I’ve realized that, for me at least, it’s not just a matter of being an introvert. It can also be a matter of just being plain lazy and self-centered.

So, start at home and “greet one another.” This is the way of love. This is the way of sacrifice. It is a matter of being willing to honor and love others well. It’s not just a throw-away, “Hi, there.” Now, I’m not saying you don’t ever say, “Hi, there,” but there’s meaning to this. There’s purpose to this. This is a spirit of warmth and friendship and other-centeredness that should be conspicuous in our churches and in relationships.

I’ve really been convicted as I’ve been studying this: one, by how hard this is for me, but how important it is for all of us to “greet one another.”

I love that passage in Ruth chapter 2, verse 4, when it says, “Boaz [the one who had the great field that Ruth was gleaning in, when Boaz] arrived from Bethlehem, he said to the harvesters, [the men who were working in his field], ‘The LORD be with you.’ ‘The LORD bless you,’ they replied.” 

This was part of their culture. This was part of their dialogue. He was the boss; they were the employees, but he greeted them. He honored them. “The Lord be with you.” And they responded, “The Lord bless you.” It’s a beautiful picture of this command, “Greet one another.”

Our greetings and our parting words to others matter. They are important. What we say when we see people. What we say when people are leaving. I want to encourage you to think about how to greet and how to leave others in a way that infuses them with grace and blessing.

“The Lord be with you. The Lord bless you.” This is talking about an outward expression, verbal words, that reflects an underlying heart attitude of mutual oneness, and acceptance, and honor. It’s a picture of an expression of sincere love of our brothers and sisters in Christ as is expressed in our everyday interactions.

So in the body of Christ, we are called to lay down our arms, to lay down our pride, our personal preferences, to leave our selfish agendas at the door. And we’re called to embrace one another. That’s behind this word “greet”—to embrace, to hold close.

Whatever our demographic, whatever our socio-economic, whatever our political differences may be, we are fellow recipients of the favor and grace of God. So we’re to seek to esteem and lift up those others around us with our words.

I’m not talking about something superficial here. We’re not talking about pretending, acting nice, but words that flow out of genuine love and humility. So when we walk in a room, it’s not, “Here I am!” But, “There you are! Bless you! I’m so glad to see you.” 

And not only are we to evidence this sense of acceptance and community in our local churches, and our gatherings with people that we’re near physically, but Paul also points to the oneness that exists between local churches that are geographically separated.

He says at the end of this verse, “All the saints [here in probably Philippi] send you [the saints in Corinth, they send you] greetings.” Now, they couldn’t hug each other. They couldn’t hold each other, but they could send greetings to each other.

And it reminds us that all believers in all places, spanning all cultures and all eras, are one in Christ. We send greetings to those that we may not even know personally.

The church in Corinth had more than its share of problems, concerns, and conflicts, but when it was all said and done, Paul and those who were with him extended their hands, their hearts, their love to these believers who lived hundreds of miles away, which, in that day, would have been like many thousands of miles. 

Most of these saints didn’t know each other, but they knew that they shared in mutual belonging, mutual communion, and mutual mission with all others who had been chosen by God as they had. And I think we need to be more aware of and attentive to this interconnectivity between all believers. We get so small minded and so focused on people who are like us and people that we like and people that are near us.

But then we get careless and rude and downright mean-spirited toward others who are likewise in Christ. Listen, we cannot lob verbal grenades at our brothers and sisters in Christ. You say, “Well, I wouldn’t do that with my mouth.” Do you do it on social media? I see so much of this, and sometimes I just want to say, “STOP! This is so wrong!” I don’t want to sin in the way that I say it, but we’ve got to be careful about this.

So you don’t know that person, and you’re just clicking on a keyboard there, and out spews this venom, this horrible, ugly stuff because you disagree on things. It’s okay to disagree. But how can we do that in a way that says, “I honor you. I respect you. I love you as a brother or sister in Christ”?

Though we may have differences with them and though they (and we) are sinful, broken people—it’s true within our own families. So many of the disputes and debates over the last couple of years have split families apart. It’s tragic. It’s horrific.

What would happen if we were to view them as mattering, as being like us, created in the image of God and loved by Christ and accepted in Christ, our brothers, our sisters in Christ, and to greet them in the name and the love of Christ?

So Paul says, “Greet one another . . . and all the saints send you greetings.” Now, I skipped one phrase right in the middle of that verse. Let’s go back to it.

Paul says, “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” Paul gives this same instruction at the end of three other epistles. “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” And the apostle Peter closes his first epistle by saying “Greet one another with a kiss of love.”

So what in the world is this all about? And does it mean anything for us today?

Well, it was common in the ancient world, and still is in some parts of the world today, for people to greet one another, when they’re arriving or when they’re leaving, with a kiss—sometimes on the cheek, often on the lips—generally men with men and women with women. 

I’ve been in churches in some parts of the world where, when you come and when you leave, the women—and I mean all the women, not just some really demonstrative women—they grab you. They grab each other by the face, they look at you, and they kiss you—not just on one cheek, but on both cheeks, and sometimes on the lips. I mean, they’re kissers. (And I’ll admit, for me, it took a little getting used to. That wasn’t something we did at my church here in this country.)

So, the idea of greeting one another with a kiss, even on the lips, would not have seemed strange in Paul’s day. It would have been the equivalent in our day, in our culture of greeting people with a handshake, which was common for us, until the pandemic hit! And now it’s, like, “Don’t touch anybody. Don’t get near anybody.” 

But Paul talked about greeting one another with not just a kiss, which would have been commonly understood, just a polite way to greet each other, but greeting one another with a “holy kiss.”

There was something distinctive and different about the way believers greeted each other in the New Testament era. It wasn’t just like the common handshake, “just everybody does this.” This was a “holy kiss.” It was different.

You see, in the Greco-Roman culture of the first century, the church was the one and only place where everyone was on the same footing. You had within one church many times Jews and Gentiles, rich and poor, slaves and masters.

And these were people who outside the church would have been worlds apart. They would never have connected with each other. They never would have hung out socially. They would have ignored each other. They would not have talked to each other. They would have been in different parts of the room or not in the same room at all.

But in the church, not only did all these different groups meet and worship together, but they also greeted one another with a kiss. Now, it’s one thing for two businessmen in the world to kiss each other, but for a slave and a master to kiss each other?

So the rest of the world is looking at the church in that era, and they’re going, “Who are these people? Something is so different about them.” This was revolutionary. 

In greeting one another with a kiss, the Christians were breaking class barriers and ethnic barriers and social barriers. This kiss was a leveler. At the cross, by grace, they were all of equal worth and dignity. This was a holy, visible demonstration of love, acceptance, affection and friendship between people who otherwise might have had nothing in common except for their love for Jesus.

These were people who, in the churches, did not stick in their own cliques, or their own groups or people who looked like them or talked like them or were like them. This was an expression of the fellowship and the oneness that we share in Christ. And this kiss in the church between these different kinds of groups was radical. It was “holy.”

Now, something else I want to point out about this “holy kiss” that Paul speaks of between believers was that it was a non-sexual kiss. And this speaks, I think, to the importance of pure, appropriate touch in the body of Christ.

There are some kinds of kisses and some kinds of touch between different individuals that are not “holy.” They are “unholy.” As I’ve been pondering this, I’ve been thinking how sin and Satan have a way of twisting and perverting what is good and what is holy and making it ugly and unholy. Satan does this on the one hand by promoting in our culture unrestrained sexual expression and by wounding people from physical and sexual abuse.

So either they want to touch everybody, and they have no boundaries, no restraints and just unbridled sexuality. Or they’re fearful, terrified to be touched because they’ve been wounded. They’ve been sinned against with physical or sexual touch. (That’s true of some in this room no doubt.) On the other hand, the enemy works to create circumstances in our culture that keep people from being able to touch in ways that are appropriate.

In both cases, whether people are touching inappropriately and they have unbridled, unrestrained sexualized touch; or they’re unable to touch, or they’re fearful of being touched, it’s all unholy. I think over the past couple of years we’ve lost in our world a lot of the beauty of pure, simple “holy” touch.

Of all places where there ought to be pure, life-giving, tender expressions of affection, it should be among the people of God and in the church. There are people in our churches, people in our lives who are starved for physical touch—not in the sexual way—but just in a way that says, “You matter to me. You are precious. You are of worth and value.” Touch can help communicate that in the holiest of ways.

There are a lot of different ways to express love to each other: sacrificial serving, giving, encouraging words, speaking well of each other, meeting practical needs. But one important way to communicate the love of Christ is through heartfelt, pure touch. That means we have to be right with each other because it’s hypocritical to hug or to kiss or to put an arm around somebody if we are holding anger or unforgiveness or bitterness in our hearts. It says my heart is right towards you, and I love you, and I want to extend to you the grace, the touch of Christ.

So Paul says, “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” That says to me that Scripture calls us to demonstrative, lavish, expressive love in the Body.

Now, I know some cultures are very touchy-touchy. I get into Latin America, and they’re all hugging and kissing and holding. It’s very easy for them. You get into other parts of the world, and people are, like, “Don’t touch me.” I’m not saying there can’t be differences, but there’s something precious here to be experienced in the Body of Christ, this demonstrative, expressive love.

There’s not just one way of doing that. And I understand cautions that may be needed regarding infecting others who are vulnerable or have compromised immune systems. I’m not saying that we should threaten others’ well-being physically, but I am saying we need pure, appropriate touch. And as we do that, this becomes a revolutionary part of our witness of the family of God in a sexualized, isolated, and fragmented world.

So, Lord, show us how to love well, how to greet one another in our homes, in our churches, our communities, among the people of God, with friends, with coworkers, especially those with whom we share a relationship with Jesus. Make us warm-hearted, outgoing, responsive, receptive. Help us to greet one another, to touch one another in meaningful and pure and life-giving ways as You have touched us. I pray in Jesus’ name, amen.

Dannah: That’s Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth giving us insight to the last part of 2 Corinthians, chapter 13. She’s been sharing the importance of greeting one another and how you can show the love of Christ in your everyday actions.

Her message is part of a series titled, “A Blessing for the Year End and the New Year.” If you missed yesterday’s episode, you can find it on the Revive Our Hearts app or at ReviveOurHearts.com, and a free PDF download from this series is available to you also at our website. Look for the transcript of today’s program, and you’ll find the link there at ReviveOurHearts.com.

We sure hope this series encourages you with truth from God’s Word as you get ready to turn your calendar and step into a new year. Nancy, can you believe 2021 is coming to an end?

Nancy: Yes. I don’t know whether to say it’s been a long year or a fast year—maybe some of both. There’s been surprises, unexpected happenings in each of our lives, and the same is going to be true in the year ahead. We can be sure of that.

We don’t know what’s ahead, whether it’s this coming year or even in the coming months or weeks or days, but we can always trust that God is working, and we can always place our trust in Him.

And here at Revive Our Hearts, we want to continually remind you of that truth, not only as we transition and begin a new calendar year, but in every season of life. Our commitment is to keep bringing you the unchanging message of the freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness that can only be found in Christ.

We’ve been able to share that truth with you through the support of listeners just like you. They believe in what God is doing through this ministry. So if you’ve ever prayed for us or given financially to Revive Our Hearts, I want to tell you how deeply grateful I am for your partnership with us in taking the gospel to women around the world.

Dannah: And if you’re thinking, You know, that’s something I’d like to be a part of. Well, let me invite you to join us here in the last days of December. You see, this is a significant time of the year for the ministry because this is the month when we receive close to half of our donations for the entire year. And this month we’ve asked the Lord to provide $2.8 million to continue and expand the outreach He’s given to us.

Nancy: We’ve been sharing that number with you throughout the month of December, and now we’ve come down to the last two days of the year. And that sounds like a big number. It is. I’m super grateful for every person—there’s been thousands so far who’ve already given. Each and every donation means so much. 

Just visit ReviveOurHearts.com, and you’ll find a link there where you can donate, or you can give us a call at 1–800–569–5959. Thank you so much for joining with us in what God is doing in the hearts and the homes of women around the world through the generosity and the prayers of His people.

Dannah: Yes. Thank you so much.

Before we close today, let’s think back to Nancy’s message. Consider: How do you greet others? When Nancy shared this teaching with a group of women, here’s what stood out to one pastor’s wife about the topic.

Woman: I believe the most important thing I heard this afternoon is greet one another. Come out of your shell. Open up to people. Really ask what’s going on in their life. “How did your week go?”

They came to church, but that doesn’t mean that everything is okay. Maybe they simply managed to come. Maybe there’s something they thought it would do. So when you’re not as stressed about reaching out to people, instead of being on the spectrum of the introvert . . . (I myself, was just escaping to a corner.) And lately, I’ve found that now I know not to do that. Greet one another . . . I’m taking that with me. 

Dannah: Well, tomorrow is the last day of 2021. Nancy will be back to remind you that you can face the future with hope and joy as she wraps up this series on “A Blessing for the Year End and the New Year.”

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth invites you to live in freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

All Scripture is taken from the CSB.

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