Hospitality: A Two-Way Street

Dannah Gresh: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth says that when we extend hospitality, not only do we reap fruit, blessings, and benefits, we also bless God.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: The Scripture tells us when we offer hospitality to God’s people, we’re actually offering it to Jesus Himself.

Dannah: This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Choosing Gratitude for Thursday, April 25, 2024. I’m Dannah Gresh.

The Bible gives examples of people who experienced unexpected blessings as a result of being hospitable. How might your household be impacted if you practiced opening your doors to others? 

Nancy has been in the series, “You’re Welcome Here.” This segment was recorded in the early 2000s, but you’ll find her suggestions are as practical and relevant as ever. Let’s listen as she describes the benefits of extending hospitality.

Nancy: The ministry of hospitality really is a two-way street. We've been talking over these last few weeks about how we can bless others through the ministry of hospitality.

But, you know, as I look back on my own experience of hospitality, growing up in a home that was very hospitable; and now having a home of my own and seeking to extend hospitality to others, I realize that when we're hospitable, we don't just give a blessing to others, we get a blessing ourselves. I've experienced some wonderful blessings and rewards and benefits by extending hospitality to others.

 

As we go back to the Scripture, we find a number of illustrations of how people got benefits and blessings out of extending hospitality. I think, for example, in Exodus chapter 2, of how Jethro got a son-in-law for one of his daughters as a result of extending hospitality to Moses.

He welcomed Moses into his home, and he ended up getting a son-in-law. Same thing happened to Laban in chapter 24 of the Book of Genesis, as he welcomed Abraham's servant into his home and ended up finding a mate for his daughters. So you never know what kinds of blessings and benefits may come out of extending hospitality.

I think of the widow of Zarephath who ministered to Elijah out of her poverty when she had just enough left for one meal. And then she and her son were planning to just die because they had nothing to eat.

But she extended hospitality, invited the prophet into her home, fed him, ministered to his needs before her own. And as a result, God did a miracle and expanded, extended, the little supply that she had. And for all the years of that famine, that oil never ran out. There was always food. There was always plenty for her to eat.

Rahab, the harlot in Jericho, extended hospitality to the spies of Israel. As a result, her life was spared when the city of Jericho fell.

And then there's the Shunammite woman in 2 Kings chapter 4, who ministered to the prophet Elisha. She invited him to come in to eat, and then when she realized that he went through that town quite often; she said to her husband, "This is a holy man of God. Could we build a little guest room for him?" And they did.

They extended hospitality, gave food and lodging to the prophet of God. And whenever he went through that area he would stay in that home. Well the day came when the prophet said, "What can I do for you?"

She said, "I don't need anything. I have everything I need." But Elisha realized that this was a woman who had never had a child. And he must have known that she wanted to have a child. He prayed for her, and God gave this hospitable woman a child. And I believe it was the fruit, the blessing, at least in part, of her having extended hospitality to the man of God.

Now there are other kinds of blessings and benefits that we reap. You may not get a son-in-law for one of your daughters, but there are practical blessings that hospitality brings into our lives.

I think, for example, of those of you who have children. As your children are growing up, you are teaching them in a practical way how to love and serve others. You're teaching that giving is a way of life.

It's not just something you do in the offering plate on Sunday morning. It's a day-in and day-out way of life. It deals with selfishness. Maybe you don't need to deal with selfishness, but I guarantee your children do. And you want to know, how can I help them not be so selfish?

Well, when your children have to maybe give up a room in order to have an overnight guest, when they have to take extra time with you to help prepare for guests, they're learning that life is not about me and this family does not exist just for us and our happiness.

This home is not just for our blessing. It is that. But it's also a calling for us as a family to serve God together. This is an incredible opportunity for your family to minister together.

And that's one of the things I'm most appreciative about the home that I grew up in. As my parents would have people in for dinner and would have overnight guests, this became a family affair. We all got involved.

I can remember one time, they were having lots and lots and lots of guests. And we kids were hulling strawberries. I mean, thousands of strawberries, maybe millions. I don't know, it was a lot but just hulling strawberries. Well I was, I don't know, probably eight or nine years old at the time. But that was our way of ministering as a family together, serving together, having a shared mission.

It's a great chance for your children to get exposed to adult conversation and to grow up hearing adults talking about the things of the Lord.

I think so much family life today centers around children in ways that are not necessarily healthy. Now, it's not that children aren't important. And I would not say that children should be seen and not heard, neither should children have the feeling that life centers around them.

They will be blessed if they can hear, as I did in my home growing up, adults talking about the ways of God and the heart of God and life and just so many things I learned sitting at meal tables with our family and with guests who'd been invited to be a part of that meal.

Some of the benefits and blessings of hospitality we won't experience in this life. Some of them we won't experience until eternity. And when we show hospitality to those who cannot pay us back, Jesus says in Luke 14, "You will be repaid at the resurrection of the just."

So, some of our benefits and blessings are coming later. Proverbs 11 says, "The generous soul will be made rich, and he who waters will also be watered himself" (Prov. 11:25). You can't outgive God. And the more you give, the more your family gives, the more blessing you will receive.

Hebrews, chapter 13, talks about one blessing that some experienced as a result of hospitality. Hebrews says, "Let brotherly love continue. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unknowingly entertained angels."

Some have unknowingly entertained angels. And you can think back to some of those stories in the Scripture, Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 18, where three visitors came. As it turned out, one was the Lord and two were angels.

The story of Lot in Genesis 19. And Gideon's parents, when the angel came to speak to them, they showed hospitality. It turned out that they were entertaining an angel. So there were instances of this in the Scripture.

I don't know if I've ever had an angel in my home as a guest, not that I know of. But I do think what this means is that hospitality often results in unexpected rewards and blessings.

Many times the person you thought you were going to bless who was your guest, that guest often ends up blessing you as the host. I've had that happen so many times in my home.

Some of you know Damaris Carbaugh who is a singer. I think of the time that she and her husband were in the area doing a concert. I had just sensed that she had a heart for the Lord, that they did.

I got in contact with them. And I said, "Would you be willing to come over to my home after the concert. I'd just like to meet you and get to know you."

Well they came and we didn't even start the evening until I think it was about 10:30 at night that they got there. I'm not that much of a night person; we were still fellowshipping at four o'clock in the morning. And that couple turned into angels of mercy in my home.

God used them so, to bless. I thought I was blessing them. They ended up really blessing me.

I think of the time that I had a couple in my home. This couple are real prayer warriors. They're intercessors in my life and for many others.

And, as it happened this time they were coming in, in the middle of the night. We had just made arrangements so that I went to bed and left the door open, and they were to let themselves in. They knew where to go. They went to bed.

I was wakened in the morning, early in the morning, by this couple who hadn't come in until the middle of the night. I heard this sound coming through the vents into my room, up from the basement of this man who was in my basement praying.

Here was this couple in my home, praying for God's blessing for me. And here they came into my home, and I was trying to bless them, but through their prayers and their giving. They became a blessing to me.

The Scripture teaches that when we offer hospitality to God's people, we are actually offering hospitality to Jesus Himself.

Do you remember that passage in Matthew 25? In the context, Jesus is saying something additional in this passage, but I do think there's something, an application here, Matthew 25, Jesus says, 

Then the King will say to those on His right hand, “Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; . . . Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me." (Matt. 25:34–40)

So, when I bless company in my home, when I extend the hospitable heart of God to them, they become a blessing to me.

It's as if when I open my home to my Christian brothers and sisters, even the least of them—to give food and drink and clothing and lodging, just in simple practical ways—what I'm really doing is inviting Jesus Christ into my home. I'm ministering to Him, I'm serving Him, I'm giving to Him.

That is one of the greatest blessings. One of the greatest rewards of hospitality is to know that in serving you as my guest, I've also had the privilege of serving the Lord Jesus. The Scripture says "that which we have given, He will repay."

I just want to close this series by saying, "How do I get started?" If hospitality has not been something experienced by you, a practice for you, then just a few hints about getting started in hospitality. 

The simplest thing to say is, just do it. Ask the Lord to put someone on your heart that you can invite into your home in a simple way—no big feast, no event, no extravaganza. Just say, “Lord, who can I have into my home that I can minister to in some way?” Ask God to show you an opportunity for starters.

I was talking to a couple people the other day who have really hospitable hearts. We were talking about people who enjoy this and have practiced this know what a blessing this is. But people who are not accustomed to opening their home, it makes them a little nervous and uncomfortable to think about getting started.

One of my friends said, “If people would just do it once, they would realize what a blessing it is. Now, when I say it is a blessing, it doesn’t mean it is without challenges. I’ve had some headaches after people left my house. Sometimes because I was so tired. Sometimes because it had not gone as smoothly as what I would have liked.

But when I look at the big picture, I say, “This has been a great blessing.” Most often when I lock the door and turn out the lights and the last person has left, I say, “Lord, going into this it seemed like so much work, but it was such and encouragement, such a blessing to them and me as well.” So, how do we get started in that?

First of all, let me suggest that you take time, if you've never done this, to dedicate your house to the Lord. Dedicate your house to the Lord, and ask Him to make it a home that's used for Him.

The house is just going to be brick, stones, mortar, wood until you put it into the Lord's hands and say, "Lord, would You transform this into something that will be an instrument of blessing and grace in the lives of other people."

My home is not my home. It doesn't belong to me. Ultimately, everything I have, including my house, belongs to the Lord. It's His anyway, so when I dedicate it to Him, I'm just saying, "Lord, I'm consecrating to You what is already Yours, and I’m asking You to use this home."

When I first bought property to build the home in which I now live, we stood over the hole as they dug the foundation with the builder who had just trusted Christ as we'd been working on plans for the house—he had come to know the Lord. He came, and a few of my friends.

We stood at that hole and we dedicated that house to the Lord before you could ever see a house there. And then, once the house was built, we had a big housewarming service. It was a great occasion and just welcomed people into that home. We took time to pray and dedicate this house to the Lord and say, "Lord, this is Yours. It is Yours. It belongs to You."

Now, when you dedicate your house to the Lord, that will take a lot of pressure off of you because, it's His house! Now it also puts some responsibility on you because it means, "I ought to be taking good care of God's property."

But it releases pressure in the sense that if people come in and things get broken or lost or even stolen, maybe. I mean, you run a risk when you're inviting strangers into your home and you're having a lot of traffic in and out of there. But it's God's. I have to trust that God is going to take good care of His property.

My home was brand-spanking new, and a woman came with her little child who sat on her lap. I didn’t know that the child was sick. My friend started to give her child some medicine. You’ve got to understand that this was a white sofa (probably the first mistake). It was brand new.

The friend started to give this child some medicine that was red. The child spilled the medicine. My friend didn’t tell me what had happened. All I know is my friend and the child had disappeared. They just left my house. I found out later that the reason was she was so embarrassed that she had spilled red medicine on my white sofa.

But before I built this house and furnished it, I prayed about it. I wanted to have a house where people could live, could be comfortable, and a house where I would not be uptight. Now, I can tend to be an uptight person. So I had to think through carefully how to put things in my house so that it is okay if they get used. I want them to get used. I want people to enjoy them.

And the Lord has really helped me to relax about my home and to say, "It's His. It belongs to Him." I had 1,600 people come through my house the first year after it was built—1,600 people!

By the way, keep a guest book. That's a fun thing to do and to look back and to see some of the people God has brought into your home. Now, you don't have to have 1,600 people in your home to exercise the gift of hospitality. (That included all sorts of things.) That open-house, there were, I think, about 2,000 people, at least it seemed like it!

But Bible studies and gatherings of all different types. The Lord may only have you have sixteen people in your home in a year or fewer. Just ask God what He wants you to do with your home and be available to do that.

And then discuss as a family how your home can be used for the kingdom of God. You'd be amazed that your husband and children will probably have some ideas and want to enter into this and feel like this is not just "Mom's thing." But this is "our thing" together. So, make it a matter of prayer and discussion as a family. How can we use our home to bless others, to further the kingdom of God?

I have some friends who are a homeschooling family. One of the things they decided to do recently is, once a month, to have a hymn sing for other homeschooling families, who come into their home. The fathers take turns leading this time and basically just singing and sharing around the things of God.

It's simple; it doesn't require huge preparation. But that's one of the ways that they're using their home to minister to others.

Pray for opportunities to minister to people in your home. And pray for God to give you wisdom and direction about which opportunities He wants you to take. 

And then, plan on your calendar, a time to extend hospitality, maybe just one time for starters. Now, don't do this without your husband's input and agreement because you don't want to pick a time that's going to be a pressure for him.

But say as a family, "When would be a time we could open our home?" Maybe it's next Sunday or three Sundays from now if you feel like you need that much time to prepare. But after church, we'll have a family over for lunch, or we'll have a single or a widow in our church to join us for lunch.

And, some of you may not feel the freedom to be real spontaneous about this just at first. That's okay. You'll develop that as you do it.

But plan. Put it on the calendar. And then, as you do it once, put another time on the calendar. It may be that you begin to put a regular time on the calendar. Maybe Saturday evenings become the time that you open your home to different families or one Saturday evening a month or one Sunday evening a month.

Look for times that you can plan it on your calendar because if you don't plan it, it probably won't happen if you're not already in the habit of doing this. You may want to let your church or your pastor know that your home is available for those who may have a housing need and that, if someone comes through town and has need for a place to stay, that you would be willing to do that. You may let them know that you need a little bit of advance notice.

I serve with a ministry called Life Action Ministries, and we have three teams that travel across the United States ministering in local churches for ten months a year.

I traveled with those teams for a number of years, and one of the great blessings over the years has been all the people of God who've been willing to help our team members.

At any given time we have probably eighty or ninety people on the road in need of housing. And people take our team members into their home by twos generally, and for up to two weeks at a time. That's a big commitment.

Scripture says in the Book of 3 John that if you extend hospitality to those traveling servants of the Lord, you are partaking in their work with them. You're doing the ministry with them by bringing them into your home and housing them.

I've had a blessing using my home as . . . The Lord gave me the chance in recent years to build an extra little spare guest bedroom in the basement so that I could have a room for those who might have extended housing needs.

I had a college student who stayed there a couple of summers. I've had different couples stay there as they were in need of housing, and then I could still have a guest room that was available for others.

But, to open your home and to have it available for those who have a housing need can be a great blessing to them.

And then as you get started, don't fall into the trap of comparing yourself with others. You don't have to be Martha Stewart. In fact, I have found that some of the people who are the best at entertaining don't always know how to really minister to people. You can have a great spread and a beautifully decorated home and a lavish set of accommodations but not really minister to people's lives.

It is far better to have a little home, a simple meal, simple preparations but to really connect to the hearts of the people who are in your home.

So, don't compare with how someone else does it. We're at different seasons of life, and there are things that you can do if your children are grown that you can't do the same way if you have lots of little children.

Holly, I looked back here, Holly has eight children. I'm sure that there's no way for a woman who is homeschooling that many children to always have their home ready for company.

That's just not possible because that home is being very lived in right now. There are ways I've seen Holly have a heart of hospitality even outside her own home. We meet for a meal in a restaurant, and she's opened her heart to me. Her family has opened their hearts to me in ways that are hospitable. It's not always even physically and geographically in the home. So, don't compare with what someone else can do.

I look at the way some of you cook. I would be really nervous about having some of you into my home for me to cook a meal if I didn't realize that that's not what really matters.

Now, when I go to your home and you cook that great meal, I'm going to appreciate it. I'm going to be very grateful for it. But I don't want to feel that I have to cook that way, or be able to cook that way, as a single, working woman when I have you into my home.

I don't think you expect that. I think you would be blessed to come into my home just to be loved and encouraged, so don't compare with one another.

And then, if this is new to you, see if you can find a mentor in this area, someone who does use their home, who has an open heart and open home. Find someone who's known for their hospitality, maybe an older woman in your church.

Ask her if she would help you get started. Ask her if she would just give you some tips, some clues, some practical handles that she has found helpful. In this way we can really disciple and encourage one another to become women of hospitality, women of God.

And so the Scripture says, "Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another . . . Distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality" (Rom. 12:10–13).

What an opportunity hospitality provides for all of us, to express to our lonely, fearful, needy world the love, the heart of God Himself.

Father, help us through our lives to give people a taste, a hunger, a longing for Your home that is waiting for us in heaven, the home you are preparing for us and for that great, eternal feast where You will be our gracious, generous Host, where You will serve us. We long for that day.

In the meantime, may our hearts and our homes be an earthly, physical reality of that eternal reality that we anticipate. I pray in Jesus’ name, amen.

Dannah: Well, I know I have a whole new appreciation for the ministry of hospitality after listening to this message from Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. Tomorrow will be the last day of the series “You’re Welcome Here.” But this doesn’t have to be the end of your exploration of the topic of hospitality.

Our team has turned Nancy’s teaching into a book entitled, You’re Welcome Here: Embracing the Heart of Hospitality. For your donation of any amount, we will send you a copy of this timely resource. 

When you contact us, be sure to check out our Bible studies, podcasts, articles, and how the Lord is allowing us to make an impact in women’s lives around the world. To make a donation, just visit ReviveOurHearts.com, or call us at 1-800-569-5959. 

Tomorrow, we’ll hear the powerful story of another woman who’s living out that call to show hospitality in a unique context. I hope you’ll be back and join us for Revive Our Hearts.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

All Scripture is taken from the NKJV.

*Offers available only during the broadcast of the podcast season.