How Jesus Prays for Us

Dannah Gresh: When Jesus prayed for us, He asked that we would be sanctified by God’s Word. Here’s Kristen Wetherell.

Kristen Wetherell: When you have an anchor in the truth, you’re not going to be tossed about by every wind of evil doctrine. You’re not going to be deceived by what the world says is “your truth.” You have the truth!

Dannah: Today Kristen applies that to you and me, as moms. This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Lies Young Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free, for May 10, 2024. I’m Dannah Gresh.

We’re about to hear how Jesus’ prayers can shape ours. First, I want to reintroduce our guest Kristen Wetherell. Kristen’s a wife; she’s a mom. She’s authored several books, including one called Humble Moms. It’s subtitled: How the Work of Christ Sustains the Work of Motherhood. Nancy?

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: I just love that title; it’s one I wish had thought of. It’s so true that the work of Christ sustains any work that we’re called to do, if our hearts are humble.

So if your heart has grown a little cold toward the amazing thing that it is to be a mom, Kristen’s here today to help us get our eyes off of ourselves and on to Jesus. Here’s Dannah Gresh in a conversation she had with Kristen Wetherell.

Dannah: Kristen, welcome back! I’m so glad to have you again today on Revive Our Hearts.

Kristen: Thank you so much! I enjoyed our conversation.

Dannah: We had such a good conversation, and I have not stopped thinking about your comment that Jesus serves us. What a holy, humbling thought that the King of kings, the Wonderful Counselor, the Prince of Peace, our Savior, our Redeemer serves us! 

So I want to start with a question: how is Jesus serving us today as moms?

Kristen: It’s a great question, because we see all of this work that He did while He was on earth during His earthly ministry. But what is Jesus doing right now? That’s a question that our pastor posed at one point during one of his series at church. It struck me and I thought, What is Jesus doing right now?

We know about the ministry of the Holy Spirit, the Person of the Spirit, but what about the Person of the Son? Where did He go, and what is He up to? I love John chapter 17. Jesus is about to go to the cross. He’s having this intimate, upper room, final fellowship with His disciples, and He ends up praying for them.

So much of His prayer is insight into what He is doing right now at the right hand of the Father. Romans says that He’s interceding for us. That’s a big Bible word, but it basically means that Jesus is for us, and even right now in heaven, He is intervening on our behalf before the Father. It means He’s praying for us.

Dannah: That’s a thought.

Kristen: I once heard my pastor say as well, “Imagine if you could hear Jesus praying for you in the next room. Wouldn’t that give you strength?” I just loved that, so I think we have wonderful insight here into that ministry.

Dannah: Let’s open our Bibles to John 17 and read some of that because it’s such a beautiful thing. He’s clearly, in the beginning verses, praying for the disciples. In verse 9 He says, 

I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world but for those whom you have given me [the believers], for they are yours.

And at verses 20 and 21 He says, 

I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

He’s talking about me. He’s talking about you. Mind boggling! And you’re saying He’s doing that for us right now.

Kristen: What a sweet gift, to think that the Son of God is thinking about me personally and praying for me. That will give us strength on hard days. You know, I don’t always find myself literally thinking about this throughout the day. Sometimes God gives me the grace to think about this.

But oftentimes, it’s in hindsight. I get to the end of a long day, and I’m just kind of breathing out, “Thanks for helping me get through this day.” Because some days just feel like that! They’re not all like that, but some days do feel that way.

Dannah: I saw a meme the other day of a little boy walking up to a school bus and he gets about two feet away and then he just sits down and plops backwards! And I was like, “That’s how I feel this day ended for me! I’m trying to get on the bus to go home, and I’m like, ‘Uh, I can’t go any further!’” Jesus is interceding for you on those days.

The way Jesus prays here in John 17, there are some things here for us to learn as moms about how we can intercede for and pray for our children, don’t you think?

Kristen: I absolutely think so! I think that we can let His prayers shape ours, even as we realize that we’re the one praying to Him, right? We’re the one asking Him to do what only He can do in the hearts of our kids: save them!

But, yes, I loved when you mentioned about Him praying for all those who will believe. And it seems like the primary prayer of His in this chapter is protection from evil. So He says in John 17:15: 

I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one.

So Jesus is well aware of what we’re up against, what our kids up against. It’s often the triple threat: the world, the flesh and the devil. And so He’s praying for us, because it is only by His strength that we will make it home!

Dannah: Yes. As a mom, when you look at raising your children in this world, right now, a very post-Christian world; it’s no longer a country that is affirming or welcoming to belief in Jesus Christ, especially belief in the Word.

I read a recent survey of the beliefs of Americans, and 67% of parents of children under the age of eighteen said they’re Christian. But when they were surveyed more deeply, only 2% of them actually had beliefs that lined up with the Word of God.

Kristen: Oh wow!

Dannah: That’s what you’re parenting in! So, what are some of the things that feel evil or frightening to you as a mom, that you need protection from?

Kristen: The pervasive, post-Christian worldview. So the “water” that our kids are swimming in . . . While there were drops of that water when I was growing up, I was not swimming in it. They are swimming in a totally different river.

Dannah: That’s a good picture. 

Kristen: Yes, and what an opportunity and a high calling for us to make our homes these safe places that are surrounded by Christ’s worldview, a biblical worldview, where nothing’s off the table. You come through our doors, you ask whatever questions you need to ask.

We talk about these things here because we know the truth, and we know what reality is. And we have the Son of God praying for us as we do that, and as we seek to do that for our kids.

Dannah: This post-Christian worldview is not working for kids. You have kids who are extremely confused about their gender, extremely confused about sexuality. It’s not like when they’re thirteen or fifteen or sixteen like when we were kids. It’s when they’re eight. They’re having to enter into a conversation they’re absolutely not ready for.

They’re confused about good and evil, what’s true and what’s not true, because truth is being erased. If you can be male if you’re really female, then what other truth/facts don’t really matter? I think the epidemic of depression, anxiety, and stress that we’re seeing in children today is a result of their confusion.

They say that the average child between the ages of seven and twelve scores as high on anxiety scales as those who were put into inpatient treatment in the 1960s. But we’re just saying, “That’s normal. This is how all the kids are.” Well, it isn’t how all the kids are. But it’s the evidence of evil infiltrating our worldview system, in their lives.

One very, very liberal left-leaning thinker wrote about her concern for girls. She said, “Ironically, I don’t know what to do with this.” Because she would be very pro-choice, pro-gay, make up whatever gender you want.

And yet she said, “I cannot reconcile the fact that the girls I treat as a therapist who are the least depressed, the least anxious, the least stressed are the religiously active evangelical kids.” Now, it’s not that they didn’t have problems, because they were coming to see her, but she could see a difference. Truth matters! We’ve got to pray for our children to be protected!

Kristen: Right! And that’s another thing that Jesus prays for in this passage, that the disciples—and we as Christians—would anchor ourselves in the truth. When you have an anchor in the truth, you’re not going to be tossed about by every wind of evil doctrine. You’re not going to be deceived by what the world says is your truth. You have the truth!

Dannah: Okay, this is exciting! I feel like we’re making a list here. So, first, Jesus prays for protection from the evil one. Second, He prays for them to be anchored in truth, and He says, “Your Word is truth.” Right?

Kristen: That’s right.

Dannah: I often tell young girls, “You can’t know the truth unless you open your Bible. John 8:31 and 32.” We love verse 32, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” But we forget that verse 31 says, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples.” And then, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” We’ve got to be in the Word! So, what else do you see? How else does Christ pray for us in these passages? 

Kristen: That’s right! Well, we see that verse 26 says, “I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.” This is astounding!

So Jesus is praying to His Father with His disciples, and He’s talking about this eternal trinitarian love between Father, Son, and Spirit that has always existed being in you and in me. It really is mind-blowing! I cannot comprehend this.

Perhaps that’s why Paul prays for the “strength to comprehend [along] with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth [of] . . . the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that [we would] be filled with all the fullness of God” (Eph. 3:18–19).

It’s mind-blowing that Jesus is actually praying that we would grasp not just on a head level but on a heart level—tasting, seeing the love of God for us. And isn’t that what we want most? Not only for ourselves, but for our kids, is that they would be so filled with the Holy Spirit who pours God’s love into our hearts that they would love Him, that they would abide, that they would love the truth, that the truth would set them free. You know, it all really comes to this prayer, that our kids would love Christ.

Dannah: Tell me how you have experienced the love of Jesus. Take me to a day, a moment in time, when you were just really aware that “Jesus loves me!”

Kristen: What I’m going to say is maybe not what you would expect, but I’m often wanting that really tangible feeling of Jesus’ love, which I believe that He gives us. I’m sure that I have experienced that; I know that I have.

But I’m actually going to talk about a time when I was in God’s Word and the feeling wasn’t there. I’m praying for it! “Jesus, I want to feel Your love. I want to be filled with Your love” which is such a wonderful prayer to pray. He’s clearly praying it for us here.

But I was actually, I think, more touched by the invincible love of Jesus for me in that moment, because it wasn’t dependent on my feelings; it was dependent on His finished work.

So, in that moment when I’m in the Word and I’m praying to feel something—and I’m not necessarily feeling anything—I can still know without a doubt. Because of the blood of Jesus shed for me, that God is for me and not against me. That is such a secure reality! It’s more than a feeling. It’s a reality that, to me, has been very strong!

Dannah: Yes, I’m thinking about Hebrews 11. It says in verse 1, 

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 

It’s when we don’t have those feelings, it’s when we hope for those feelings, and we can’t see that love in a tangible way. That’s when our faith rises up and we say, “No, I have faith. I believe! I have hope that I will one day feel.” Let’s say, it’s not a bad thing to feel the love of Jesus. 

Kristen: No. It’s good!

Dannah: I’ve felt the love of Jesus before. It’s such a good thing! I’ve had such sweet moments where He’s just tangible and palpable. I was in a hotel once where I had a day off. I was traveling and speaking. I couldn’t wait to go get a manicure and a pedicure and pizza! That was my, “I am tired,” day-off list.

But I started the day in the Word and, Kristen, I had such a feeling of Christ’s presence that day that I didn’t ever leave! I had granola and apples in my hotel, and that was enough, because I did not want to leave the precious, sweet presence and nearness of Jesus that day!

So we’re not saying that you can’t hope for that. I mean, faith is the assurance of things hoped for. Go ahead and hope for those moments when you feel Christ’s nearness. But do not make your faith based on those feelings.

Kristen: Yes, that’s right, because faith is not based on a feeling. It’s based on a Person.

 

Dannah: Yes. Our kids need that, our children need that, because the world they’re walking out into is a world where what they are going to feel when they stand up for Jesus is insignificant and less than and insecure and laughed at and ridiculed.

Those are the kinds of emotions that they’re going to feel if they’re going to be Christ-followers in this post-Christian world. So their faith cannot be based on how they feel.

Kristen: Right, and yet what you’re saying is, we should not settle for less but we should pursue this very prayer that Jesus is praying for us, which is, “Fill me with Your love. I want to taste and see that You are good!”

Dannah: You know, there’s one more thing in these verses that I think we can go back to. It’s in John 17:17 where we were talking about Jesus’ praying that we would know truth. As part of that, He also prays for their sanctification. Could that be the fourth thing? He prays for them to be sanctified. What does that mean?

Kristen: So, growth in Christ-likeness, looking more like Him, being set apart as holy to the Lord. And what a sweet thing that Jesus not only won’t abandon us as we pursue holiness, but that He prays for us. Then He gives us His Spirit—like we spoke about yesterday—to empower this sanctification.

God works, and we work. We’re in the Word, and then the Holy Spirit uses the Word to convict us of sin or anxiety or whatever else we might be struggling with, and then sharpens us by that Word to make us more like Jesus. So, He’s praying that we’ll look more like Him.

Dannah: Let’s take that to motherhood for a minute. What does sanctification look like in motherhood? How does motherhood sanctify you, I guess is what I’m asking.

Kristen: In my experience motherhood requires a daily dying to myself and to my own desires in that moment, to my own plans and agenda in that moment, and a living to Christ, saying, “Yes, Lord, I’m going to be faithful to You and to what my kids need and serving them because I know that I’m ultimately serving You.” That’s how it sanctified me. 

Philippians 2 says we’re taking a greater interest in others than we are in ourselves, and that’s actually really contrary to my flesh, because my flesh just wants to care about myself. So, I think that’s perhaps the primary way that motherhood is sanctifying.

Dannah: Yes, it may be, other than marriage, the most sanctifying role that you will ever have in your entire life. I think those two, they’re not so much about our happiness and our joy—though they bring both of those things to a great degree. I think they’re about our holiness and God purifying us.

Okay, let me ask you this question: Can our children experience sanctification? Are they too young? Of course, we’re talking about children of lots of different ages. So maybe a six-month-old isn’t in that place, but what about our ten-year-old and our six-year-old and our fifteen-year-old. Should we be praying for their sanctification?

Kristen: Oh, absolutely!

Dannah: Can they experience it?

Kristen: Absolutely! It’s the work of the Spirit in their hearts and that we can’t produce in our kids, only the Spirit Himself can produce regeneration, which is giving them a new heart for Christ. 

But we can pray for that, and we can pray that God will do what only He can do, that He will give them a new heart and give them a desire to run to Christ, that they will humble themselves before the Lord, and that He will exalt them and adopt them and give them the gift of His Spirit. 

So, can God sanctify our kids? Yes, absolutely!

Dannah: It is the work of the Holy Spirit to sanctify an individual. Here’s how I think we as moms can participate in that and set them up for it. Sanctification doesn’t happen by crossing off boxes: “Went to church. Said grace at dinner. Prayed a prayer at bedtime. Finished Bible homework.” 

No, it doesn’t happen that way. It happens when our hearts are opened by the Holy Spirit. But a very significant part of that is getting our children in the Word. This verse, John 17:17 says, “Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.”

They have to be saturated in the Word! Can I get on a soapbox for a second?

Kristen: Please.

Dannah: I feel like one of the reasons why we have statistics where 67% of the parents of children claim to be Christians but only 2% have a biblical worldview is because those parents weren’t in the Word of God as children. They weren’t being saturated by the truth, so they don’t know the truth, to be set free by it.

We need to stop coddling our kids and using church experiences as babysitting experiences. They’re totally capable of digesting deep spiritual meat and getting into the Word. I’ve been writing Bible studies for tween girls for a few years now.

They’ve studied the entire book of Ruth, they’ve studied the life of Miriam—verse by verse, every verse about her life! I’m in awe. These seven- to twelve-year-old girls, they don’t have all the presuppositions that my brain does to inhibit them from receiving the fullness of God in beautiful faith!

So, only Jesus can sanctify your child, but you as a mom, get them into the Word! Get your daughters into the Word, get your sons into the Word—not just attending services, but in the Word! That’s our part. 

Kristen: I have a four-year-old and a two-year-old. It is so easy to think, Is this just too much for them? Is this above their heads? Can they not understand this? They can understand so much! Even my son understands so much. I am always blown away by their ability to memorize songs!

So, if my kids can memorize songs, can they not know God’s Word? Is that not a huge encouragement for me to diligently teach it to them, like Deuteronomy 6 says? So, how do we do that in our house?

We do a lot of songs, actually, because songs are great resources. They’re “sticky.” They stick with us. I end up singing them throughout my day. I think Slugs and Bugs is a wonderful resource. It’s Bible songs straight from the Word, so I commend it.

Dannah: I just got that for my grandbabies. I’m so excited you said that! I just bought it.

Kristen: It’s wonderful! So check out Slugs and Bugs Sing the Bible albums. They’re phenomenal! And don’t forget that even the smallest opening of the Word is seen by your kids. So right now, it’s chaos at our dinner table every night, but we’re reading through the gospel of John. 

And even if it’s, like, two verses, and it may not seem like they’re listening, they are. They’re listening, and even if they’re not listening, they’re noticing. 

Dannah: They’re seeing you in the Word. They’re seeing that you treasure the Bible, yes.

Kristen: Yes, “this is a priority.” So that’s all that I would say to parents. You can get as creative as you want, but the fact that you’re banking your whole life and soul on the Word of God is going to speak volumes to your kids, so do that and they will notice.

Dannah: Well, Kristen, I feel like we wrote a pretty cool list today of some things a mom can pray based on the model of how Jesus prays for us.

Kristen: I love that.

Dannah: Let’s review them real quick:

• Jesus prays for protection from the evil one. We can pray for our children to be protected from evil.
• Jesus prays for us to be in His Word and know truth. We can pray that for our children.
• Jesus prays that they would know His love. (That’s my favorite!)
• Jesus is praying for sanctification and heart-transformation in our lives, and we can pray that for our children and set them up for it by getting them in the Word. 

I feel like we can’t just talk about that without actually praying, so why don’t you guide us through these four things. Let’s pray for our children together today. 

Kristen: It’s wonderful. Let’s do it.

Lord Jesus, we thank You for who You are. We thank You that You are gentle and lowly in heart, that You are the God of the universe who has humbled Yourself to draw near to us, that we might be in Your presence someday, face to face forever!

And even now as we wait, Lord Jesus, and long for Your coming, we pray to You. We need You! We cannot do what You have called us to do as Christians or as moms unless You help us. We need you the whole way. Jesus, we need You to keep us from the evil one. Our hearts pull at us day in and day out, towards sin and selfishness. This world influences our kids, influences us. We have a very real enemy, but You say that You will guard us to the very end. And so, we are holding to that promise. We are praying that you will increasingly guard us from evil. Help us to hate what is evil and to love what is good, and help our kids to do the same.

And Jesus, we know that one of the ways that You’re going to do that is through a greater love for Your Word, which is truth. Oh, Lord, convince us that You’re speaking to us through Your Word, through the pages of a Book. Help us to be astounded every time we open the pages of our Bible, that You the God of all is speaking. 

And please, Holy Spirit, use Your words to sanctify us, to make us holy. Use Your words to cultivate in our kids a love for You and a desire to follow You and obey You all of their days. Only You can do that, Lord. Work with us to put Your Word in front of them, to feed them with Your Word, that we may feast on it as families.

Finally, Lord Jesus, may we know more of your love increasingly. As Paul prays, may we have the strength to comprehend along with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth of Your love. And we pray that You would fill us with all of the fullness of who You are. We love You, Lord, we thank You that You are our God! Amen!

Nancy: Amen, yes, we do love You, Lord. How grateful we are for what You mean to us. Kristen Wetherell and Dannah Gresh have been helping us look to Jesus, and have reminded us how He prays for us. I know this conversation has given a lot of moms the perspective they need in the midst of the joys and trials of motherhood. There’s more information about Kristen’s book Humble Moms linked in the transcript of today’s program at ReviveOurHearts.com. I hope you'll pick up a copy.

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We’ve been talking about motherhood the last couple days, which is fitting for the celebration coming up this Sunday. We’ll continue that theme over the next few days as we honor moms on Revive Our Hearts Weekend. If you've never listened to that, you're sure to enjoy it. Be sure to check it out, Revive Our Hearts Weekend.

Then next week, I hope you’ll join us for a conversation about serving, and why being a servant is so important. Thanks for listening today. I’m Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, inviting you back for Revive Our Hearts.

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