Preparing for What Matters

Dannah Gresh: “Be prepared.” It’s more than a motto; it’s a necessity. Here’s Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: We may be in this country facing some even more difficult days than what our nation has experienced in our lifetime. Are you thinking about how to prepare your children for suffering?

Dannah: This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Surrender: The Heart God Controls, for August 19, 2024. I’m Dannah Gresh.

Are you a prepared person? Maybe you’re the one your friends can rely on to have extra (I don't know) bandages, sunscreen, wipes in your purse or your diaper bag or your car. Or chances are, you have a friend like that is . . . more like me. You are always lacking something in that bag of yours. 

Well, today we’re talking about what it looks like to be prepared, not only when it comes to physical objects, but for life, especially eternity. Nancy’s continuing in the series “To Be Praised: The Woman Who Fears the Lord.” You can read the transcripts or listen to any of the previous episodes on ReviveOurHearts.com, or on the Revive Our Hearts app. Here’s Nancy. 

Nancy: Now we come in Proverbs 31 today to verse 21, and we read that this woman, this virtuous, excellent wife is "not afraid of snow for her household." And believe it or not, it can snow in Israel. You wouldn't think of that as a place with snow, but it does snow at times.

[This woman] is not afraid of snow,
For her household  is clothed in scarlet.

So here is a woman who plans ahead, thinks ahead, and is prepared so crises don't catch her off-guard. Now, there's a sense in which we can overdo this, and there's a sense in which we cannot be prepared for some crisis. Some things hit you and there was no way of preparing. But you can be preparing in your heart, in your life and your walk with God so when the crisis does come, you have the wisdom and the understanding to know what God wants you to do when you are faced with that situation.

So this woman is speaking specifically here, literally, of cold weather. It doesn't cause her to panic because she thought ahead, and she has prepared clothing for her family. It speaks of scarlet clothing. This is a picture of the dye that was used to produce the scarlet color. It was a very expensive dye. So this is good quality clothing. It's costly, but she has made the investment. She's made these clothes, remember, with her own hands.

But she has prepared so her family will have their needs met when the time of crisis comes. She anticipated the needs of her family. She prepared her family for the future. She did this proactively.

She didn't wait until she woke up one morning and there was snow on the ground and say, "Oh my goodness, what are my children going to wear this winter?" She was thinking ahead; planning ahead. This is another practical expression of a woman who fears the Lord. See, your relationship with God will affect every area of your life including the way that you plan your schedule, the way that you think ahead about life.

Here it is speaking of the obvious literal way she prepares so that her household will have their needs met in the time of winter and snow. And in making those literal, physical preparations, she's reflecting to her children, to her family, the heart of God.

He is Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides. She is showing her family what God looks like as she is providing for them—their clothing that they will need for the cold weather.

But there's another sense, by way of application, that I think this passage speaks to us as women in the era of grace. And that is that she has thought ahead about preparing her family for not just the winter snow in a literal sense, but also preparing them for the coming judgment, for coming crises between now and the Judgment. She has thought ahead and planned and prayed and sought the Lord about how she can prepare her family for the days ahead.

We may be, in this country, facing some (and likely are facing some) even more difficult days than our nation has experienced in our lifetime. Are you thinking about how to prepare your children for suffering? If there is not repentance and revival in this nation, then that will surely happen here. It may or may not be in the lifetime of your children, but we need to be preparing those that we love for what is going to be coming.

Are you preparing your children for the difficulties and challenges of marriage? Are you preparing them to know how to respond in times of loss?

Some of the greatest growth in your life has been in times of adversity and loss. Would you want to spare your children from experiencing that which will cause them to grow in their walk with the Lord? They're going to experience adversity. They're going to experience cold and winter weather in their lives. Are you preparing them for that?

And are you preparing them, as I said a moment ago, for future judgment? To face Christ? Are you preparing them to give account to God? And are you praying and trusting God that your children, in that day, will be found clothed in the scarlet blood and righteousness of Jesus Christ?

Because if they are not, then they will not be prepared for eternity and will spend eternity under the wrath and the righteous judgment of God. So as you pray as a mom and for those that you love, ask the Lord, "How can I be investing in their lives in a way that will help prepare them for what's ahead, will help to prepare them for eternity?"

Now we see here some further talk about the clothing of this woman's household, and we've read about that already. Now we come in verse 22, to the first reference—and really the only reference—that we find in this chapter to this woman doing anything for herself.

And, in the context, we can be sure that her motive is so that she can be of a greater blessing to her family and to others. Verse 22 tells us that:

She makes tapestry for herself,
And her clothing is fine linen and purple.

The NIV translates that: "She makes coverings for her bed." That first phrase in verse 22 is not about her own clothing; it's about items she makes for her house. Bedcoverings is what is specifically being referred to. As this passage is unfolded, she has been caring for the basics of food and clothing for her family. Now she turns toward decorating her home and then to clothing herself.

And that's kind of the order of priorities that unfolds in this passage, her relationship with her husband, of course, is primary over that with her children. She has met the needs of food and clothing for her family; then she thinks about the environment of her home, decorating her home, that word "tapestry" or "coverings" speaks of home furnishings.

It can be different kinds of home furnishings: rugs, coverlets, upholstery, quilts, pillows, blankets, drapes, wall hangings, tablecloths, placemats, napkins, towels, sheets. All these kinds of things this woman makes for her home. She wants to make her home a place of beauty and a haven where her family will be nurtured and blessed and cared for.

She is an artist, again she is using her hands to make items that are not only functional, as in clothing, but also items that are for beauty. We glorify God as women when we use our hands. You may be making them yourself. You may be shopping for them. There is no sin in buying something if that's the way God directs you to use the resources that he has given you.

The concept here is that we look out for how to meet the functional needs of those around us and also how to make our environment a place of beauty, how to make it attractive. And again, not going to extremes and not so that our house can be something that is admired by everyone around us, but so that our home can have a climate that is conducive to spiritual growth and encouragement in the lives of others.

And then we see this first and only reference to our own clothing. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. And I think if you take this verse in the context of the whole chapter, it becomes clear that her clothing is not her number one priority. But it is a priority. It matters, but it doesn't matter as much as some other things. Now the kind of clothing she has—made of fine linen and purple—gives evidence that this particular woman is from a well-to-do family.

Linen is made from flax. It's a high-quality fabric that this woman uses and then purple, as we've said, is something that's rare. It's a costly dye that's actually extracted from shellfish in very minute amounts. So to make clothing of scarlet or purple was something that would have been done by royalty. And, of course, we know that Proverbs 31 is the words of a king who is teaching us what his mother taught him about looking for a bride who would be a queen.

So there's nothing wrong with having nice clothing, good quality clothing. If God has provided and that possible and that is appropriate to the position and place in life that God has given you. Those things are not sinful. What is sinful is to say that we have to have expensive clothing, or to look to expensive clothing to make us attractive. The most expensive designer clothing put on the body of a woman who does not have a heart for God cannot make her beautiful—not truly beautiful.

But having said that, it is not sinful or wrong if God provides and if it is within the priorities that He has established for your family and if the motive—the purpose—is to bring glory to God. Then to have those clothes that are attractive and nice is not a sin—is not wrong—as long as we keep it in the proper balance, the proper perspective and realize that that is not what gives us our true beauty.

Dannah: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth has been helping us evaluate our clothing — our outward appearance, based on Proverbs 31. And Nancy’s also been reminding moms of the need to look ahead and provide for the clothing needs of children. And most importantly, Nancy’s reminded moms of the need to encourage children to be clothed in the righteousness of Christ. To train children in the ways of God and help them be prepared for struggles ahead.

Let’s listen to an example of a mom who is asking the Lord to help her do that. Erin Davis is the mother of four boys and more than anything else, Erin wants to teach them God’s Word and embrace the gospel for themselves. 

Erin taught a series called “Lies Boys Believe” on The Deep Well podcast. We’ve played you clips from this series before since it’s such a good fit with our series on Proverbs 31. Let’s listen as Erin gives us ideas on teaching the next generation the truth of God’s Word. She’s reading from Matthew 28:18–20.

Erin Davis:

And Jesus came and said to them: "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit; teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And, behold, I am with you always to the end of the age.” (ESV)

We’re big on the evangelism part of the Great Commission—and we should be. People who are lost need to know that Jesus has all the authority of heaven and earth and that He has a plan for their redemption. People who are lost need to know. We need to go, therefore, and tell them, and then baptize them as they become disciples.

But we tend to miss the second part of the Great Commission, and it’s equally critical. Verse 20, Jesus said, “Teaching them to observe all I have commanded you.” 

Teach the Word. That’s not just for people like me, with a microphone and a podcast. It’s not just for your pastor. It’s not just for your Sunday school teacher. If you are in Christ, you are on co-mission with Jesus. And the mission is this: we make disciples, and then we remind those disciples over and over of the commands of God that are supernaturally preserved for us in the Word of God. 

In other words: talk about them when you’re at home, and when you’re on the road, and when you’re going to bed, and when you’re getting up. “Tie them on your hands and wear them on your forehead, and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

There’s nothing new in the new. Jesus was affirming the strategy that Moses gave God’s people in Deuteronomy 6. It’s still the right strategy. We know God’s Word, and we share God’s Word with others. We talk about it everywhere we go.

Biblical literacy among adults in western countries is on a nosedive. So much so that many are calling it a crisis. It should go without saying that Christians not reading their Bible is a spiritual equivalent of a five-alarm fire.

That’s why this podcast exists. I want to help you know and love your whole Bible so you can help others know and love their whole Bible so they can help others know and love their whole Bible. I want to push back against this tendency that there are many of us who claim Christ and don’t open our Bibles.

But when I think of my sons and their friends, when I think of your sons and their friends, I’m actually filled with hope, not fear.

This summer our oldest son, Eli, was one of 115 senior high students who our church sent to camp. They actually went to the camp where I came to Christ as a fifteen-year old. So the beauty of my son reaching the age where I gave my life to Jesus and going to the camp where I gave my life to Jesus . . . it was a big moment for me.

I came back from that camp as a fifteen-year-old, having never really read the Bible for myself, with an insatiable desire to read the Bible that has never gone away. I couldn’t get enough of it, and I still can’t.

And guess what? God did it for my boy. He came back hungry for the Bible. He immediately started a small group with other fifteen- and sixteen-year-old guys so that they could meet weekly and eat things at Sonic and talk about the Bible.

It’s been amazing to watch! I had this strong sense that week that God was going to move, and He did. Many of those 115 teenagers from our church gave their lives to Jesus for the first time. We had to have a special baptism service when they got back because so many of them needed to be immersed as an outpouring of their commitment to Jesus. But they also came back hungry. They want to be in the Bible.

Many of us are longing to see revival. I’m longing to see revival. But what I don’t want us to do is discount or dismiss or miss that revival is already happening in the hearts of so many young people. There will never be a throwaway generation. There will never be a generation that God doesn’t pursue and rise from within it spiritual leaders.

One Barna study focused on teenagers and their Bible study habits, and they found, I think, some interesting numbers:

• Seven out of ten teenagers own a Bible.
• 40% of teenagers (this is American teenagers) are reading their Bible at least four times a year.
• 25% of American teenagers are reading their Bibles weekly—that’s on their own, that’s not just sitting in a church service.

And even though they are technology natives, what the study found is they prefer a hard copy of the Bible. Why does that matter? Because they’re not just scrolling. They’re soaking. They’re writing in their Bibles. They’re noting. They’re applying.

Now, is there room for growth? Absolutely. But 25% of our teenagers reading their Bibles weekly should be celebrated because that’s actually a higher number than adults who are doing the same.

It’s not about the stats. It’s about planting and watering. If we want those truth-loving men we talked about in the first episode, if we want those men who have pledged their lives to the Word of God, and it shows in the way they lead their families and their communities and their places of business, those truth-loving men will first be truth-loving boys. We’ve got to train them up today for that future we dream of their tomorrow.

And while God can certainly—and He does—use our mistakes as parents as a cautionary tale for our children, the pattern of God is that what happens in this generation will be repeated in the next generation.

I saw an interesting thought (probably on social media) about how to have a family walk away from Christ in three generations. And the gist of it was this:

One generation doesn’t prioritize going to church. Now, is church what saves us? Absolutely not. But church is what God has given us, this mechanism, so we can live in this Deuteronomy 6 reality, where we’re always reminding each other of the truth.

So one generation decides, “It’s not that important.” They still go. They go when it’s convenient.

The next generation, because it wasn’t a priority in their parents’ generation, they don’t go at all. “I believe in God. I don’t have to go to church,” is the mindset that often settles in there. And so Christian community becomes something that’s not a part of their life at all.

And then by the third generation, it’s not just church that doesn’t matter, it’s not just Scripture that doesn’t matter, it’s God that is no longer a part of that family’s life. Three generations.

Now, does it always happen that way? No. God’s a redeemer. There are a lot of people in church today whose parents weren’t in church. But God’s pattern is that what happens in this generation gets repeated in the next generation. That’s part of why He set up our families.

And God’s design is also that our homes are the first classrooms of our children. My mama was my first teacher, and what a teacher she was!

And it’s in our homes where worldviews and habits are first taught and caught and then passed on.

So, as you consider your essential role in teaching the next generation to delight in God’s Word, here are some diagnostic questions, and they’re not rhetorical. I’d like you to actually wrestle with them. And as I wrote them, I actually wrestled with them.

Is reading the Bible a daily habit? Is your salvation tied to your Bible reading plan? Of course it isn’t. There is no sticker chart in heaven. God isn’t up there, like, putting little stars in it and noticing when you miss a day. But the Word is what God has given you to keep you grounded in the truth. You need it. You need it as much as you need breakfast—probably more.

So, currently, not in previous parts of your faith journey–currently: Is reading the Bible a daily habit? Or are you inconsistent? Our kids are watching. And if they see that Bible study is something that easily goes out the window when life gets stressful, they’re picking up on that.

Do your children see you reading the Bible? This is something we sometimes just need to do for show. There’s something certainly needs to be said for in the quiet of your own time with the Lord, with nobody watching. You read the Bible, and it’s time between you and the Lord. But if your children never see you with your Bible open, if they don’t know how you fit Bible study into your life, then they don’t have a grid to understand how they’re supposed to fit it into their life.

Are there ways you can intentionally infuse God’s Word into your daily life? Deuteronomy 6 is our example. It comes down to the pictures we hang on our walls. If you were to come to the Davis farm today, you wouldn’t see the verses under the paint and under the floor, but you would see verses on our walls. That’s intentional.

When I was a high school history teacher, I covered my classroom in newspaper articles and headlines. The idea was that even when my students got bored and lost attention from me, and their eyes moved to somewhere else, that they would be absorbing something from history. 

I have the same mantra in our home, the same approach to our home. I hope that whatever room my boys are in, their eyes don’t move far from the Word of God.

It’s the conversation at the dinner table. You’re going to talk at the dinner table anyway. We aren’t super consistent with this, but there have been times when we read a proverb a day at the breakfast table. And it’s simple. It doesn’t take long at all, but it’s a way to infuse God’s Word into our life.

Your bedtime routines. Our house is an old farmhouse. It’s Jack and Jill, so there’s two bedrooms upstairs with a bathroom in between. And we divide our family into littles and bigs. So the bigs are in one half, and the littles are in the other half.

Our bedtime routine takes a long time because I’m always trying to read them great books. So right now the littles and I are going through the “Chronicles of Narnia,” which I did with the bigs. I always try to read them Scripture, and their daddy is in there with us as we do that. And the big boys, I’m reading a baseball book to them now because they love baseball, and I’m reading through the book of James.

I don’t want you to get the impression that my kids sit Indian style on their beds with their hands folded and asking questions. That’s not how it happens. But I trust that night after night, week after week, year after year of them hearing the Word is going to pay dividends.

Dannah: To hear more of that teaching from Erin Davis, visit ReviveOurHearts.com, click on “podcasts” and then The Deep Well. The Deep Well is part of the Revive Our Hearts podcast family. We’re able to provide podcasts for women in all seasons of life thanks to listeners who believe in this ministry and want to share it with others.

If that sounds like you, would you consider making a donation of any amount? With your gift during the month of August, you can get a copy of Biblical Portrait of Womanhood. Here’s the subtitle: Discovering and Living Out God’s Plan for Our Lives. It’s a booklet by Nancy that talks about delighting in God’s design for women, and we’d love to send it to you this month. 

Just request it with your donation at ReviveOurHearts.com, or call us at 1-800-569-5959. Your support means so much as we call women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ. 

Wouldn’t it be nice to live free of fear? Proverbs 31 talks about a woman who laughs at the time to come without fear. Nancy will show you how you can live like that too, next time on Revive Our Hearts. Please be back.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

All Scripture is taken from the NKJV unless otherwise noted.

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