Standing in the Gap

Dannah Gresh: When Christopher Yuan thought his life couldn’t get any worse, a scribbled note prompted him to read the words of Jeremiah 29:11.

Dr. Christopher Yuan: He used those words to tell me that, “I still have a plan for you. No matter what you’ve done in the past, no matter where you’ve gone, no matter who you think you are, I have a plan for you.” That’s what I needed to hear at that moment because I had no hope, no future, and yet God said I had a hope and a future. 

Dannah: This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Surrender: The Heart God Controls, for June 4, 2024. I’m Dannah Gresh.

Some of what we’re about to hear is sensitive for children, so you may want to listen another time if your little ones are around. 

After Christopher Yuan embraced a life of partying, homosexuality, and drugs, things began to spiral out of control. Yesterday we heard how his mother experienced God, even in the heartache of her son walking away from his family, and from the Lord. 

Today we’re going to hear the rest of the story, and how God was working in Christopher’s life, even when it didn’t seem like it. I want to add—Christopher and his mom, Angela, will also be joining us for a special online event tonight. It’s called When You Love a Prodigal, and I’ll share more about how you can register, even now, at the end of today’s program.

Let’s get to Nancy and her continued conversation with Christopher and his mom. 

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: You talked yesterday about how you kept pursuing the Lord on behalf of your son. God had pursued you, had brought you to Himself. And now you were not going to let go of God. You prayed for years with no contact, virtually. He wasn’t returning your calls. He was throwing your letters away. He was not listening to your voicemail messages, but you kept knocking on heaven’s door. I’ve heard you share about some prayers that you wrote out during that period. How did you use those written prayers?

Angela Yuan: I like to write down the prayers. Even though daily prayer will be different, but I have some stand up prayers. Those are the prayers that really helped me—kept me going. Those prayers really helped me to show my heart, and I realized my weakness. I just asked God, don’t let me give up that son.

Nancy: And you prayed that over and over again.

Angela: Over and over every single day.

Nancy: Another thing you prayed during that season was, “Lord . . .”

Angela: “Do whatever it takes to bring this prodigal son to You.” I think it’s important to realize that our children need Jesus Christ. We make sure it’s not pray for our son to come back home to this earthly home.

Nancy: Because even if they did come home to you but didn’t come to the Lord, the objective still hasn’t been fulfilled. You wanted to see his heart. And you were willing to step back and let God bring him to the end of himself.

Christopher: But that’s the strength of my parents and my mom—that they cannot save me. They could maybe for a moment, and they could maybe get rid of some of the circumstances, but that would not ultimately . . .

Nancy: . . . bring you to Christ.

Christopher: Yes. And it would not ultimately be good for me either.

Nancy: Well, at this point, you’re in Atlanta. You’re living a high lifestyle—partying, drugs, sex, homosexuality, clubs. I mean, you were in the far, far, far country. At this point you’re reading this and you’re thinking, This is going to take a miracle. There’s nothing your mom could do—your dad—much as they loved you.

Christopher: I wanted nothing to do with God. I was happy that my parents had found this new relationship with each other and were beginning this religious experience. Their life was kind of turning around. But I just thought, Well, that’s good for you. You know, very relativistic and post-modern. Good for you. Not for me. I didn’t want anything to do with that. It was not part of my life.

And this whole time, my parents had absolutely no idea what was going on, but they knew that I needed to know Jesus.

Nancy: The answer to your mom’s prayers and that miracle that was needed came in a way that probably nobody would have scripted.

Christopher: Never.

Nancy: Tell us how that happened.

Christopher: Well, it came simply with a bang on my door. I opened my door, and on my front door step were twelve federal drug enforcement agents, Atlanta police, and their two big German shepherd dogs. They confiscated all my money and my drugs. I was charged with a street value equivalent of 9.1 tons of marijuana, and that was ten years to life in the federal prison. I was facing ten years to life.

So finally I thought, Well, maybe I’ll just call home. I didn’t want to call home because in my mind I was still imagining my parents before Christ. They would just give me an ear full, tell me, “You deserve to be there. What did you do?” I remember what my mom first said as she answered the phone.

Nancy: You called collect?

Christopher: I called collect, and she said, “Son, are you okay?” No condemnation. She didn’t yell at me. 

Nancy: You’d lost your friends, your money, your job dealing drugs, if that’s a job, I don’t know. And you’re in this detention center.

Christopher: Yes. Three days after, I was walking around the cell block. And you know, I still in my mind thought, I’m not a criminal. I didn’t do anything wrong. And I mean God was still working . . .

Nancy: You thought, I’m not a criminal?!

Christopher: Well, because, I’m a good kid.

Nancy: You thought you were a good kid?

Christopher: I was raised in a good home. I’m not like all the other people who are homeless or living in the projects, stuff like that. So in my mind I’m like, “I’m really a good kid.”

Nancy: So your thinking was really twisted.

Christopher: It was really twisted. I mean, that’s what drugs will do to you. So it was three days after that, I was trying to stay away from the riff-raff—the bad guys. “This is just probably a mistake, and I’ll get out soon.” I was walking around the cell block. I mean, God was softening my heart, but my heart was so hard that there was a lot of softening to do.

Walking around, and you know, Nancy, I passed by this garbage can. It was just disgusting, things just flowing out of it, flies circling around. I looked at that and I thought, That’s my life. Everything in my life was going the right direction, and yet it just took this turn and now I found myself in jail among common criminals—just trash.

So I was just going over all my life and how horrible it was now and the place I was in. I was about to walk past this garbage can, and I looked on top of the trash—right on top of it—I found a Gideon’s New Testament.

Nancy: That somebody had thrown away.

Christopher: Someone had just thrown it away. Someone must have just thrown it away because nothing was on top of it. It was just sitting right there. I walked right by it, and I picked it up and I brought it back to my cell. I started reading God’s Word. I read through the entire gospel of Mark that first night.

That was just the beginning of God working. I thought I was rebelling. I remember before I was sentenced, I read Psalm 51, and I just felt like those were my words. The words that David wrote were my words. I almost felt like reading that to the judge. I felt all this conviction and weight and thinking, There’s nothing good about this. What is there good about this? I felt so broken about my sin and rebellion, and things were just not looking like they were getting any better. I felt there couldn’t be anything worse.

Nancy: And it did get worse.

Christopher: Yes.

Nancy: But it was getting better, too, because God was in the process of drawing your heart, answering the years of prayers your mom and your dad had prayed for you. God was at work, but He was still using those circumstances to bring you to the end of yourself. 

And then comes this moment when you find it can get worse.

Christopher: I was reading Scripture and finding just this new life within me that was coming through, and yet really convicted of my rebellion against God, against my parents, against the government.

Nancy: Can I say even that is the work of God’s Spirit, because in the last program you were telling us you thought you were fine. You wondered what you were doing in prison with those criminals.

Christopher: I was able to justify drug dealing, promiscuity. I was able to justify all of that. And so you’re right, it was really . . .

Nancy: . . . the conviction of God’s Spirit.

Christopher: Yes, conviction of the Holy Spirit telling me that I was rebelling against God.

Well, things did get worse. One day about two weeks into my time in jail, I was called into the nurse’s office. They always do a health check when they bring people into jail. They handcuffed me, brought me to the hospital, and I sat there in the nurse’s office. I just knew something was not right. She actually couldn’t even tell me, and she wrote something on a piece of paper and slid it across the desk to me. And it read “HIV+.”

So I went back to my cell, was taken back to the cell block, just devastated. I knew I could not share this with anyone there. I called home. The phone is in the middle of the cell block with people, men, standing behind me to use the phone. I told my mother, and I couldn’t shed a tear. 

Nancy: So, Angela, you get this call. You’ve been praying, “Lord, do whatever it takes . . .”

Angela: But not that.

Nancy: But not that.

Angela: That was always something I was afraid Christopher might have one day. Then suddenly, in my mind, music starts playing the song, “It Is Well with My Soul.” And I said, “Yes, Jesus, it is well with my soul.”

Nancy: And that hope God was giving you in the midst of those circumstances, Angela. He was also in the process of bringing you, Christopher. What happens next?

Christopher: Well, I received a sentence of six years. Certainly, I was facing ten years to life. I was moved from the jail then and was on my way to prison where I would start doing my time, those six years. Before they do that, you’re in this transition place, sort of a holding cell, waiting for the bus or plane to arrive to get on the plane. I laid down and looked at the metal bunk above me. There’s just graffiti and vulgarity, and amid all of that, I saw something scribbled. It read, “If you’re bored, read Jeremiah 29:11.”

Nancy, I had no idea what Jeremiah 29:11 was. But I thought this was a Bible verse, so I get up. I just looked across in the cell—this brand new cell—and there was just a small locker.

I opened it up. I saw plates and just trash and cups and stuff. I just kind of pilfered through it, and I saw a book in the back. It was a Bible.

I pulled it out. I opened it up and I read: "For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (NIV).

It could have been any verse that whoever had scribbled up on that metal bunk, any verse in the whole Bible. Yet God knew that of all the verses at my most hopeless moment I needed to hear, it was that. He used those words to tell me that, “I still have a plan for you. No matter what you’ve done in the past, no matter where you’ve gone, no matter who you think you are, I have a plan for you.”

That’s what I needed to hear at that moment because I had no hope, no future, and yet God said I had a hope and a future. 

Nancy: And at this point you were getting a growing hunger for the Lord, to seek Him. Did you start digging into the Word?

Christopher: Well, I did. It was so amazing because I didn’t have to worry about cooking. I didn’t have to worry about paying bills. I didn’t have to worry about a job. I had all this time on my hands to read through the Word of God. And it was really just amazing.

God was showing me the idols that I had in my life—so clearly. Where God says, “You shall have no idols in your life,” I thought, Well, what are my idols? And it was so obvious immediately—well, drugs. That’s my idol. That was my idol, as I was addicted to it. I did it every day. And yet amazingly, over some time, that hold that drugs had on my life was gone.

Nancy: But then, there was another issue that the Lord began to deal with you about, which was longer than a few months of wrestling it through, and it had to do with your sexuality. How did you begin to process that?

You’d been in the gay lifestyle for years, acting out homosexuality, you had a very promiscuous life, you were deep, deep, deep into that. Now you’re coming to faith in Christ. What did you do with this whole area of your sexuality?

Christopher: Well, I lived as a gay man for years. In prison, as God was drawing me to Himself I began to ask myself this question, “What is it in my life that I feel like I cannot live without?”

Nancy: Which is exactly what an idol is.

Christopher: I thought at the time that I could “have my cake and eat it too.” I could have God, and I could still be gay and still have this sexuality. But as I was reading Scripture, I came across those passages that seem to condemn homosexuality.

So I went to the prison chaplain and I asked him his opinion, and surprisingly, this prison chaplain told me that the Bible doesn’t condemn homosexuality. He gave me a book to read, and I started reading it, but I didn’t just simply read the book. I put the Bible right next to it.

So whenever this book mentioned Scripture, I would open up the Bible and I wouldn’t just read that verse—I would read the whole chapter, the context. What I saw was not the same as the conclusions this author came to.

Really, I wanted to agree with this book. I really believe it was the power of the Holy Spirit that was beginning to work in me that pointed out that this book was distorting the Word of God.

It was twisting Scripture to try to justify something that was not justifiable. So I set the book aside, gave it back to the chaplain and I just turned to the Bible alone.

Nancy: So you realized you had a choice to make there. Were you going to accept the Word of God as the authority in your life, Christ as your Lord, or were you going to hang onto your idol?

Christopher: Yes. 

Nancy: You knew you couldn’t have both.

Christopher: I couldn’t have both. But that wasn’t so easy, because I still had these temptations and struggles within me. So I was reading through Scripture, poring over the Word of God and I came across a passage which is so profound. It says, “Be holy, for I am holy” (1 Peter 1:16).

Regardless of whether your temptations, your passions, your desires, your struggles change, God is calling us to live a life of obedience. God is calling us to live a life of holiness. So I realized that the opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality, but holiness.

The opposite of any struggle with sin is not, to not sin, but it’s to be holy. It’s to be like Christ.

Nancy: And as you began to pursue that identity, the Lord began to make it clear to you that He had plans for your life that were way different than anything you had ever imagined. In fact, you began to sense a call to go into ministry . . .

Christopher: So different! Yes! It was during this time God was giving me all these opportunities to share the gospel with these inmates who knew they were sinners. I would just come right in and open up the Bible, share the gospel to them, and these people were coming to faith.

I was leading Bible studies, I was preaching in prison, and that was when I felt a strong calling to full-time ministry . . . while I was in prison. And when that kind of change of heart happened, that’s when God did another miracle, and He shortened my sentence from six years to three years.

Nancy: You called your mom. I know, Angela, you’ve got to remember that call, when he told you he wanted an application. 

Angela: Yes, he said, “I want to go to a Bible college to learn more about the Bible. Could you send me an application to Moody Bible Institute?” At that moment, I realized, “He was coming home!” Before that I didn’t know what he was going to do. He might still want to stay in Atlanta with his friends.

When he said he would call me back about Moody, I said, “He is coming home,” coming back to Chicago, and I was just rejoicing.

Christopher: So, amazingly, Moody actually accepted me. I was released from prison in July of 2001 and started the very next month, in August.

Nancy: But there was still a sweet time coming up when you got out of prison and were going to be reunited with your family. I want our listeners to hear how that unfolded.

Christopher: Well, it was so amazing, the fact that I wanted to come home. For a time I thought my home was Atlanta, then I thought, I am going to come home when I get out of prison. I’m going to come to Chicago.

So my parents drove down to pick me up. I had what they call a furlough. They gave me a few hours to drive from the prison, then I needed to check into the halfway house within a few hours. They gave me some leeway time where I could swing by home. I knew we were going to do that. So we drove from southern Illinois to the Chicago suburbs.

I could not believe it. Three years doesn’t seem like such a long time, but . . .

Nancy: You’d been out of communication with each other and estranged from each other a long time.

Christopher: Yes, and so we pulled up to our home. As we pulled up to our home, we have this big tree in our front yard, and around it was tied a yellow ribbon.

I thought, “That’s so special.” So we parked the car, and we got out and walked up to the door and opened the door, and in our hallway were a hundred yellow ribbons. I looked at them and they were all signed by someone, I didn’t know who, and they had Scripture written on some of these yellow ribbons, just all over.

My mom explained to me, “These are all from people who have been praying for you.” There were strangers I’ve never known, many people I’ve still yet to meet, praying for me for years, those times that I was estranged and had nothing to do with my parents and while I was in prison. They were welcoming me home. I remember Mom said, “Welcome home.” I think it was at that moment that I knew that I was home, I was finally home.

Nancy: And home, not just to your parents, but to the Lord—which is what you had wanted and prayed for all those years, wasn’t it, Angela?

Angela: Yes. You know, that shows the picture of our God. He has His arms that are always wide open to receive the prodigal son, someone like myself or my son. He’s calling all the prodigal sons home to His arms. He’s welcoming us, no matter how far the country we were in, and no matter what we have done, what we have said. He’s there waiting for us. That is His design, to call each one of us home.

Dannah: What a testimony from Angela Yuan and her son Christopher! I hope that’s a good reminder, especially if you have a loved one who’s a prodigal. Don’t give up praying for them, because God is working. It just may not be in ways you can see right now. 

Don’t forget to sign up for our online event happening tonight, called When You Love a Prodigal. Angela and Christopher will be there, along with Mary Kassian, Joannie DeBrito, and Erin Davis. If you’ve experienced the painful absence of a loved one who has walked away from their faith into an unbiblical lifestyle, this will be a hope-filled evening for you.

This is the first online event in our brand-new Biblical Help for Real Life series. You can register right now for $29, or you can save and attend all four events in the series for $80. And even if you can’t participate live, you’ll have access to these events until next May. Find out more and sign up at ReviveOurHearts.com/help. 

Whether you’re waiting for a prodigal loved one to come home or walking the journey with a friend, that time can be heartbreaking. One of the most important things you can do is pray. Our new resource, While You Wait for Your Prodigal: A 30-Day Prayer Challenge, is designed to help you spend each day in God’s Word and in prayer as you wait and seek the Lord.

Request your copy of the prayer challenge when you make a donation of any amount to Revive Our Hearts. This powerful resource is our thanks to you for your support of this ministry. Visit ReviveOurHearts.com, or call us at 1-800-569-5959. 

Christopher Yuan will be back tomorrow, and I’m so excited for our conversation. We’ll be talking about identity and how the gospel shapes who we are. I hope you’ll be back for Revive Our Hearts.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

*Offers available only during the broadcast of the podcast season.