The Incredible Power of a True Woman

Dannah Gresh: Kim Wagner says when you’ve been transformed by the power of the gospel, you can make a big impact on the people around you. 

Kim Wagner: When that kind of transformation takes place and begins to affect a whole nation and culture, people will know that our God is God. That’s why I get so pumped about this, because I want people to know that God is God. He is who He says He is. He is powerful. He is able to transform. His Word is truth. And the culture will know that.

Dannah: This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Adorned: Living Out the Beauty of the Gospel Together, for April 29, 2022. I’m Dannah Gresh.

The basic truths you believe will influence every other part of your life. So when Revive Our Hearts was crafting a document called the True Woman Manifesto, we started with basic truths. Nancy’s been teaching through these in a series called "Foundations of the True Woman Manifesto." Today we wanted to pause and reflect on these foundational truths with pastors’ wives, Holly Elliff and Kim Wagner.

Here’s Nancy to launch that conversation.

Nancy: Kim and Holly, as I’ve spent the last weeks thinking through this series and how to teach through the True Woman Manifesto, then over these last days as I’ve been actually teaching the series, it’s brought back a lot of memories of True Woman ’08 when this document was first released.

I think what that did for all of us was say, “You’re not alone in this. There are other women!” Yes, we are weak; yes, we are few, compared to the whole world out there. Once we left there we realized in the blogosphere how counter-cultural this is. But to realize in that one place, there were a lot of women representing a lot of other women out there who really do have a heart for truth and just needed the encouragement and the courage to speak it, to go out and live it.

I think that was just a very touching thing to me. That’s when I realized this is not just Nancy and Kim and Holly and a few of us. God is raising up an army of women—who are still a remnant, still in the minority definitely—but who love Him, love His kingdom, and, faltering and frail as we are, really want our lives to make a difference.

I can’t help but wonder how many of the women there for whom this document is really an encapsulation of something that God’s Word teaches, they have never seen lived out in a significant way.

Kim: Right. That’s what I find so helpful about this. As you were teaching through this series, there was a woman here at the recording studio who said, “I was a feminazi before I encountered Revive Our Hearts, but I didn’t even know it.”

When I was growing up as a young woman, I loved the Lord. I loved His Word, but I couldn’t articulate what a biblical woman was. I think just hearing terms like that even was a turn-off to me because I kind of pictured wimpy women who liked frilly things.

That’s one thing I appreciated so much about how John Piper in his message brought out the truth. This is the truth, that wimpy theology makes wimpy women, and that actually living out the truth of God’s Word takes great strength of character and takes great endurance and perseverance, denial of self, courage, and intelligence.

Holly: I think part of, as Mary Kassian would call it, “the buzz” coming out of True Woman is that younger women, who maybe had the same impression I had when I was younger about biblical womanhood, are realizing this is not about being any one particular woman in this box. It is about being who I am called to be as a woman under God’s authority, believing God’s Word to be true.

That’s going to play out in my life differently than it does in someone else’s life, but I am affirming that I am going to be the woman God has called me to be, and that it will not just be the words on that piece of paper. It will be a lifestyle.

I think that part of what we saw at True Woman is that women began to realize this is about a life calling that will affect future generations.

Nancy: We’ve said that as Christian women, “We desire to honor God by living counter-cultural lives that reflect the beauty of Christ and His gospel to our world.” Now, I find that inspirational. I find it motivational. I find it gives vision, but what is that going to look like?

We’re women in different seasons of life, and what are some of the ways—there is no way we can exhaust that here because women are different—but what are some of the practical ways, what might that look like for a woman to reflect the beauty of Christ an His gospel to our world?

Let’s take it from theological speech, which is the foundation, to flesh it out just a little bit. You’re women in different seasons of life. You’re ministering to women. Give us some pictures of what practically that might look like for women.

Kim: It’s making tough, hard choices according to Scripture. For me, and I’ve shared this before on Revive Our Hearts, but, for me, it’s going beyond just seeing it in Scripture or having head knowledge of it. It's taking it home in how I treat my husband and how I treat my children. I’ve shared how, in the early years of marriage, because I was such a strong, opinionated woman and would state what I believed in a very dogmatic sense without applying a lot of the truth of Scripture, the sanctifying aspects—graciousness, gentleness, humility, kindness . . .

Nancy: It all makes a difference in how we express those opinions.

Kim: It does. 

Holly: Transformation, I think, is a word that comes to mind when we think about not just the True Woman conference and the kick off of that, but the reality of what needs to happen now that these truths have been put in place. As I live those out, though, it is not something I just sign my name to. It is something I choose to do in the walls of my home so that, whether I’m at a True Woman conference or standing in my house, my life is the same. It’s not that we live in this True Woman bubble where . . .

Nancy: . . . we’re going to start selling those—True Woman bubbles.

Holly: If there was one, I would like one.

Nancy: You’re never going to have one with all those children and grandchildren.

Holly: I know, but what it means is that, as we live real life, just like our lost neighbor who may be dealing with the same life issues, we have a different platform from which we view life. It affects the choices we make; it affects how we relate to each other, how we relate to that lost neighbor. We’re living before them the example of the Christ life that God intends for us to have.

Kim: Our lost neighbors should be able to look at our lives and say, “I know she loves her husband by how she treats her husband. I know she is intentional in loving her children and training her children.” They should be able to see and recognize those things within us so that we do have a witness of the power of Christ.

Nancy: That’s interesting. I found myself asking myself recently, when responding to pressure and circumstances that were out of my control, “How is my response to this situation any different than a woman would respond who didn’t know the Lord?”

Kim: It should be.

Nancy: It should be, but a lot of times it isn’t. That’s where this Manifesto, this document, calls me back to those moorings. It’s not that something in this Manifesto is any different than what’s in the Scripture. It’s that it calls me back to those markers, the sovereignty of God, that sovereign ruler thing that we’ve been saying over and over again in this first part.

If we will counsel our hearts according to that truth, that He is God and we are not; that He has the right to make the final decision, then that is going to affect the way that I handle stress and sorrow and bad news, and good news for that matter. So many times I find myself reacting in ways that are so natural rather than supernatural, and that’s where I say, “This is not true woman behavior. This is not true child of God behavior. This is the same way that anybody in the world would respond naturally if they didn’t have the power of God and the Word of God, which I do have, so I can respond differently."

Holly: None of us are ever going to be perfect women, but we must be women who are consistently looking more like Christ. The longer we live, the more we move along in our lives in each season so that God is more and more glorified as we live. That’s part of the purpose that we’re here—to be conformed to the image of Christ is why we’re still here on earth.

Nancy: What we’ve been saying in this series thus far is that women who have been transformed by the power of the gospel can themselves become transformers.

Dream with me for a few minutes here and just let’s kind of imagine what kind of impact an army of true women could have in their communities, in their homes, in their culture, in the darkness, in the paganism, in the wrong-headed thinking. What difference could this band, this remnant of true women make? What might that look like?

Kim:

• Long marriages
• Fruitful, happy marriages
• People living with purpose in their lives
• Singles living with real purpose and serving others
• Churches that are lighthouses to their community
• People of integrity, of graciousness that keep their word
• Homes so affected by the wives or mothers

Nancy: It’s really the woman that sets the temperature.

Kim: When that kind of transformation takes place and begins to affect a whole nation and culture, people will know that our God is God. That’s why I get so pumped about this, because I want people to know that God is God. He is who He says He is. He is powerful. He is able to transform. His Word is truth. And the culture will know that.

Nancy: And right now it’s the atheists who are winning. They’re the ones whose books are selling. They’re the ones who are getting the hearing. The blurring of distinction between believers and non is not because non-believers are starting to act more like believers. It’s because believers are starting to act more like non-believers.

Kim: Like our God has no power. He’s not able to transform. And yet He is. But believers are not submitting themselves to that power.

Holly: And I think part of that is education. Part of that is recognizing the enemy. I do believe that we have yielded ground for so many years and what we are seeing now is Christians, because there is so much darkness now, that Christians who choose to walk after Christ, to be controlled, and to claim the name of Christ, and to live according to His Word now have more opportunity than ever to look different than the culture.

So if we are making those choices, we cannot live in the darkness that is going to become more and more present. I don’t think that means we walk around depressed. But I think it means we have to recognize ourselves as an army, as those called of God to live. Scripture says we are like aliens cast abroad. God has planted us where we are so that we can become light and salt, and we will look like light and salt.

I think that’s what’s encouraging about this to me. I think women are recognizing the fact that they cannot do status quo in our present culture. To just live as a nominal, nice person is not sufficient because the stakes are higher now than they’ve ever been.

Nancy: I think we’ve got to be honest enough to say that many of us as Christian women have not even lived like nice Christian women. There are so many standards that the world has adopted that Christians have adopted as well. I’m thinking for example about the coarseness of women today—in the media, in the public, the mouthiness, just saying whatever you think without self-control over the tongue.

I mean, how many of us struggle with control issues over our own tongues? And how many Christian women can you hear just gossiping, venting? How often do I do it? So in a sense not only are we not being light, but we’re being like the darkness.

Kim you talk about long marriages and people staying faithful in their marriages. Well, I don’t know if they’re so impressed when a marriage stays together when it looks like you’re married to the perfect husband though we all know there isn’t one. You think yours is. Holly, you think yours is.

So people look at you guys.

Kim: I don’t know if I’d use the word perfect.

Holly: Perfect for us.

Kim: Because, oh my, the pressure of being married to a perfect man; I can’t imagine.

Holly: I’m grateful. He’s a wonderful man.

Nancy: But somebody might look at your husbands, you Holly or you Kim, and say, “If that were my husband, of course, I could stay faithful to him." But what impresses them is when your husband makes a decision that is not a wise one that has repercussions for your family, and you don’t berate him about it. You go to the Lord, and you ask the Lord to intervene. You handle things with a spirit of humility and gentleness rather than verbal brow beating. That’s counter-cultural living.

Holly: A woman who is governed by God’s Spirit. I’m thinking about a gal in our church who had surgery this week. I went to visit her. She was still under anesthetic, could not open her eyes or move any part of her body. But as we were talking with her husband, she was quoting Scripture. She could kind of pick up on our conversation. Every once in a while her husband would say something, and she would say, “Oh, but God is so good. Here’s what He did."

She couldn’t open her eyes. Her voice was odd. But what was in her was coming out. She has spent so many years in very tough circumstances pursuing the Lord. And now it’s in the fabric of who she is. Even at a moment when she was not fully conscious, that’s what was coming out of her.

I think to me that is what thrills my heart. We have the opportunity as women to be so governed by God’s Spirit that no matter what circumstance we are in, God Himself can pour out of us onto everybody we meet—those we touch, those we encounter. What they meet will not be us but will be Christ.

When that happens, then God will be set free in this nation, in the world, to do what He desires to do everywhere we go.

It’s not about just a woman deciding to look a certain way or sound a certain way. It’s about a woman accessing what God has stored up in eternity so that it becomes reality on earth.

Nancy: Holly, that really takes us back to where we have to start and continue all the way, and that is to our personal relationship with the Lord. This is not a lifestyle that we are called to live apart from Him. It’s not a lifestyle we can live apart from Him.

I would hate to think that women would listen to these programs or take this Manifesto and read it and memorize it and study it and say, “I’m going to be a true woman if it kills me.” It may, you know.

Holly: It would kill us apart from Christ.

Nancy: Because we apart from Christ have no power to live this life. This is Christ’s life that has to be lived in us. And the starting place is in our relationship with Him. We’ve talked about reflecting to the world the beauty and the wonder of who Christ is. Well, what is a refection? We know about how the moon has no light of its own. We look at it in the sky at night, and it’s beautiful, and we say, “It’s a beautiful full moon.” But the moon has no light. What is the moon doing? It’s reflecting the light of the sun.

Being a true woman of God that reflects the beauty of Christ and His ways requires that we live in the presence of God, that we reflect His beauty. That means we have to be looking at Him. We have to be focused on Him. If I am looking at, focused on, obsessed with the world’s programs and styles and thinking and philosophies and movements, that’s what I’m going to reflect.

Kim: If I’m focused on the problems in my marriage, if I’m focused on the economic situation, if I’m focused on the circumstances around me . . . that’s why it is so important—Hebrews 12—“Fix our eyes on Jesus.” That is the answer.

Nancy: And I think about that verse in 2 Corinthians 3.

We all, with unveiled faces, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord. We are transformed [transfigured the word is], into the same likeness from glory to glory by the Spirit of the Lord (v. 18, paraphrased).

Holly: And that’s something we cannot possibly do on our own. We have to first know for sure that we are in relationship with Christ, that there’s been a moment in our life where we have come to Him and said, “I cannot run my own life. I don’t even want to. I want to lay my life at the feet of Christ. And would You take over? Would You take control? Would You forgive me of my sin? Would You do for me what You’ve done for millions of others and give me a new life? Because the one I have I’ve been living in my own strength, I cannot live my life on my own.”

Becoming a child of God so that then we do have the ability to access everything He’s already prepared for us and the ability to live this life not because we put it on like a coat but because from the inside out we reflect Christ.

Nancy: Perhaps what Holly just shared reflects your heart, and you’ve been listening to this series. Maybe you’ve been listening to Revive Our Hearts for a long time, or maybe you’re a new listener. But you have realized that you do not have that kind of relationship with Christ.

Anything else we talk about on Revive Our Hearts is not going to make a whole lot of sense to you and it certainly is not going to be within your ability to live out until you start by coming to Christ just as you are and saying, “I need You. I’m a sinner. I need a Savior.”

So even today repent of your sin. Believe the gospel. Place your faith in Jesus Christ. Let Him come into your life, take over your life and begin the process of making you a true woman of God. If that’s what God has been saying to you today and you’re responding to Him in your heart wherever you are right now—in your van, in your workplace, in your home, listening on your iPod, reading this transcript on the Internet, listening on the radio—then let me encourage you if you have said, “Yes Lord,” to contact us.

Let us know that God has been drawing your heart, that He has brought you conviction and has brought you to faith in Christ. We’d like to rejoice with you but would also like to send you some resources that will encourage you with your walk with the Lord.

And then just a word to what may be true of many of our listeners who do have a relationship with Christ but are trying apart from the Spirit of God to live a life that you cannot live. Let me just encourage you to cry out to the Lord and say, “Lord, I can’t do this. I cannot be the wife, the mom, the single woman, the woman in the workplace, the friend, the sister, the daughter. I can’t be the woman You made me to be. I need You to be giving that control in my life, to be giving me Your power and Your grace to live out Your life in and through me."

Nancy: Ask the Lord to give you a fresh hunger for Christ so that you can behold Him and beholding Him be transformed into His likeness and then be able to reflect that likeness to others.

Dannah: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth has been talking with Holly Elliff and Kim Wagner. Each of us needs the kind of transformation they’ve been talking about. The True Woman Manifesto can be a valuable tool in that process. This document offers you a depth of biblical truth that will stand up to any challenge. At the same time, it’s practical, giving you a picture of what it means to be a true woman in your day.

Read the True Woman Manifesto at ReviveOurHearts.com. Or when you give a donation of any amount, you’ll receive a copy of the Manifesto along with a 30-day companion guide to help you practically live out these declarations. It’s our way to say “thanks” for your support of this ministry, so just request those resources when you give at ReviveOurHearts.com, or by calling 1-800-569-5959. 

You know, the Manifesto was introduced at our first True Woman conference in 2008. Now here we are in 2022, getting ready for our next True Woman conference happening this fall. The theme is Heaven rules. 

I want to invite you to come and spend these three days with us, September 22–24, either in Indianapolis in-person or online. You’ll find courage and comfort as you anchor yourself in the truth that God is in control, no matter what your situation is or what you’ll face in the future. 

You'll hear encouraging and hope-filled messages from Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Mary Kassian, Chris Brooks, Kay Arthur, Karen Ellis, Joni Eareckson Tada, and I’m excited to join them as well. Plus, you’ll gather along with women from around the world to worship with Keith and Kristyn Getty. And, you can choose from a variety of topics and speakers for breakout sessions. If you want to come early, sign up for our preconference. It's on Gender & Sexuality, and the subtitle is, Clarity in an Age of Confusion.

If you’ve been thinking about signing up, I need you to know that tomorrow is the last day to get the lowest price on your registration, so don’t wait! Head to our website, ReviveOurHearts.com, and there you’ll find a place to register, along with all the other details about the conference. Of course, you can always give us a call at 1-800-569-5959. 

Dannah: One woman can make a big difference. Join us next week as we hear powerful stories of women who have had a big impact on the world around them. Please be back for Revive Our Hearts.

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth calls you to live as a true woman, in the freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

*Offers available only during the broadcast of the podcast season.