Whose Love Hospitality Manifests

Dannah Gresh: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth encourages us to practice what we preach when it comes to how we treat others.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: It’s not enough to just say we love each other. We have to show that we love each other. One of the practical ways to show that we love each other is by opening our homes.

Dannah: This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, co-author of True Woman 201, for April 10, 2024. I’m Dannah Gresh.

All this month on Revive Our Hearts, we’re focusing on the biblical concept of hospitality—showing love to strangers. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth has been helping us get down to the heart level to show us that gospel-centered hospitality goes way beyond, “Did I vacuum before the dinner guests showed up?” Here’s Nancy.

Nancy: To be a Christian is not just to have our own personal relationship with God. To be a Christian is to be a part of a family. It's to be a child of God. And, it's to be in relationship with other children of God.

You and I share the life of Jesus Christ by spiritual birth. It's a bloodline that we have through Jesus Christ. That's why the Scripture says that we are brothers and sisters in Christ.

For the New Testament believers, that was a powerful concept. They had come out of all kinds of backgrounds: slaves, free, Jews, Gentiles, men, women. But they had come to be related to each other—brothers and sisters in the family of God.

So for those first Christians who were living in a pagan, hostile world that rejected Christ, this family was very important to them. Those first Christians were a closely-knit group of brothers and sisters. They stuck together. They had to. Their survival depended upon it!

So as you read through the New Testament, you read about these family relationships. They would greet one another with a holy kiss. They loved each other. They were drawn to each other.

They shared material possessions. They met in homes. They shared meals together. They cared for each other's widows. They showed hospitality to each other because they were family. They loved each other. And they realized that hospitality is an evidence and expression of genuine love.

We're talking this week about the ministry of hospitality. I want us to see today that this is one of the most important evidences of genuine love in the Body of Christ.

The ministry of hospitality is one of the key factors that explains how Christianity was able to expand and advance so rapidly into the New Testament first-century world. It was because of the love that Christians showed for each other. The way they showed that love was through hospitality.

When the pagans looked at the Christians, they were forced to acknowledge, "See how they love one another. They welcome each other. They eat together . . . even people who were in different socio-economic levels. They come into each other's homes. They love each other. They are ready to die for each other.”

How did they show that love? How do we show the love of Christ in our world in practical, down-to-earth terms? I mean, it's one thing to sit in church and talk about, "Oh, how we love each other."

But how do we show that we love each other? Well, I want to suggest to you based on the New Testament Scriptures that hospitality is one of the most practical, concrete expressions of true Christian love. In fact, the New Testament exhortations in relation to hospitality are almost always found in the context of talking about brotherly love.

Let me show you how that is true. In Hebrews chapter 13, the first verse says, "Let brotherly love continue." By the way, the writer of Hebrews was talking to people who had been persecuted for their faith. He was telling them how to make it in a hostile world.

One of the keys is to love each other. He said, "Let brotherly love continue. Do not forget to entertain strangers" (v. 2). Show love to strangers. There is love. And how is it expressed? In hospitality.

First Peter 4:8, "Above all things have fervent love for one another." Again, he's writing a book where he is talking a lot about suffering. How do you survive in a hard world that beats you up? How do you survive in a world where there are difficult relationships?

He says, "Love each other." How do we express that love? The very next verse, "Be hospitable to one another without grumbling" (v. 9).

You see the same concept here in Romans 12:10. Paul says, "Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love." Then he goes on to say, "How do we express that? "Pursuing hospitality" (see v. 13).

It's not enough to just say that we love each other. We have to show that we love each other. One of the most practical ways that we can show that we love each other is by opening our homes, by expressing Christian hospitality to one another.

We said yesterday that the book of 3 John is a book on hospitality. He talks about a man named Gaius who extended hospitality to itinerant preachers, to itinerant evangelists who were spreading the gospel.

This is how the gospel spread in those early days (and still does in many parts of the world). There are those who would travel from city to city or place to place preaching the gospel.

They didn't have hotels to stay in. They didn't have restaurants to eat in. So people opened their homes. The believers opened their homes to these traveling messengers of the gospel. Gaius was a man who extended hospitality to these servants of the Lord.

When John talks about this man and his hospitality, he says, "I've heard about your hospitality. It's been reported to the church" (vv. 5–6 paraphrased). He describes Gaius' hospitality as "you have shown your love for the brethren in the way that you open your home to needy people" (paraphrased).

So the commands to be hospitable often come within a context of talking about love. This is an evidence of genuine love.

Alexander Strauch has written a helpful little book called The Hospitality Commands: Building Loving Christian Community: Building Bridges and Neighbors. He says:

Hospitality fleshes out love in a uniquely personal and sacrificial way. Through the ministry of hospitality, we share our most prized possessions. We share our family, our home, our finances, food, privacy, and time. Indeed, we share our very lives.

Unless we open the doors of our homes to one another, the reality of the local church as a close-knit family of loving brothers and sisters is only a theory. A cold, unfriendly church contradicts the gospel message.

Now, I don't know about you, but I've heard people say over the years, "I don't like going back to that church or that church because they are so unfriendly." I hope that couldn't be said of your church. I hope that would not be said of us as believers.

What people need to say when they see us is, "They open themselves. They give themselves. This is a way of life for them—opening their hearts and their homes." 

Strauch says that a cold, unfriendly church or a cold, unfriendly group of believers is a contradiction to the message of the gospel.

I think of people over the years who have sacrificed, who have shown me the heart and love of Christ through their hospitality. I think about the time when I was seventeen years old and moved from the East Coast out to the West Coast to start my junior year of college. I was going to a secular university for the first time. There was a family who had had five children of their own, but they opened their home to me. The man was a friend of my dad’s. They were business associates.

This is a couple who had already done their child-raising thing. Their kids were out of college and out of the home, but they opened their home to me for two years.

They listened to me practice the piano. I was a piano major. They put up with my coming and going at all kinds of odd hours and my friends coming and going. They could have just been enjoying their close-to-retirement years and settling in and just enjoying themselves, but they said to me as they did to numerous others over the years. They expressed the love of Christ in a tangible way. They said, "Come into our home; live with us." They took me in as one of their own.

I think about a time a few years earlier when I was in high school. There were times during my high school years when I was wrestling with questions about my faith, wrestling to understand how the Scripture could all really be true, and wrestling at times with relationships and the living out of my Christian faith in my own home and in other relationships.

I remember a couple named Phil and Liz DeVries. Phil was the music director in our Christian school. I was involved in accompanying the choir and involved in a lot of the aspects that he led.

He and his wife just took a personal interest, as many coaches do, in some of their young people. I can't count how many times they had me into their home. We would sit around at their kitchen table or in their living room and just talk.

They did probably more listening than talking as I think back on it, but their home became a refuge. It was a place where they showed me true love. They lived out the gospel in their home.

They took I don't know how many high school students in those days into their home and said, "Let us love you. Let us demonstrate the gospel to you." They didn't sit me down in a classroom and say, "Okay here's a lesson in apologetics. This is how you know the Bible is true." They said, "Let us show you the love of Christ."

You know, when I got out of that home after those years in high school, I had no doubt that the gospel was true. I had seen it lived out in the home of Phil and Liz DeVries.

They had children living in their home, and I’m sure they had to make sacrifices to have these teenage kids hanging around their home.

It was interesting to meet one of their children, now grown, and for her to say what a blessing it was for her as a child growing up in that home to see the love of Christ demonstrated in the way that her parents opened up their home to others.

As we think about how hospitality expresses the love of Christ I wonder, How many empty beds do you suppose there are in the homes of believers on any given night in your church . . . in your house?

When was the last time you invited a stranger into your home? Or said to someone at the end of church, "Would you like to come home with us for lunch?" Or said, "We've got a place for you to stay" to someone who has just moved into town.

Here's the question the Lord has been challenging me with, “If my love were measured by my hospitality, how big would my love be?” If your love were measured by the extent of your hospitality, what would be the measure of your love?

You see, Christian hospitality is an evidence of Christian love. That's why it's not an option. We've got to open our hearts and our homes if we are going to show the love of Christ.

 

Father, You have shown Your love to us by opening Your heart and Your home to us. Now You call us in this hostile, pagan world that is so broken and so wounded to show Your love.

Thank You for those who have shown love to us, have opened their hearts and homes to us and ministered Your grace to us. I pray You would show us how to show Your love to others as we open our homes to extend hospitality. For Jesus’ sake, amen.

Dannah: Wow, I’m going to repeat the question just asked by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: if my love were measured by my hospitality, how big would my love be?

Let’s all be asking the Lord to help our love grow. Here at Revive Our Hearts, we’d like to help you in that process. Our team has written a brand-new, six-week Bible study, based on this teaching from Nancy. It’s called You’re Welcome Here. We’d love to send you a copy when you support the ministry of Revive Our Hearts with a gift of any size. Just visit ReviveOurHearts.com, or call 1-800-569-5959.

And to go along with the Bible study, we’ve filmed a six-part video series. In this series, Erin Davis travels and visits women in various seasons of life who are modeling loving hospitality in the body of Christ. 

One of the women Erin visits in this video is a busy mom and pastor’s wife named Hannah Galvin. She has a passion for showing love in the body of Christ through hospitality. Here’s Erin to help us get to know Hannah.

Erin Davis: So, how long has your husband been serving at your church?

Hannah Galvin: We started helping out with the youth group eight years ago, just after we moved to the area.

Erin: And he’s on staff at the church? 

Hannah: He is now, yeah.

Erin: What’s his role?

Hannah: He’s the assistant pastor. He’s in charge of the youth group, he oversees small groups, he’s in charge of the Upwards basketball progra—which just wrapped up last weekend.

Erin: Yes! How did you guys shift—or maybe you didn’t shift—from focusing on the youth group to opening your home to young adults?

Hannah: We’ve been working with the youth group for quite a while, and for a couple of years we were wondering and talking about if we should also start a small group for the young adults in our home, because no one was really intentionally pouring into them that we could see.

So at that point, we’d known some of these graduating seniors for five or six years. We’d known them since middle school, so it seemed a natural progression to take it one step further and invite them over.

At that point he was hired full time, but we were going to start it whether he was hired full time or not. God had been working in our hearts to do that, but we were hosting a small group in our home for other adults, too.

Erin: So you decided just to focus on just that young adult group? 

Hannah: Yes, we did, which was hard because some of those other adults we’d been with for a long time, so that was sad and it’s still sad, because you can’t connect in the same way without getting together. But it was healthier for our family balance just to host the one group.

Erin: So one night a week you host a young adult small group at your house. What’s that like, what do you do, what do you not do?

Hannah: It starts seven, that way our kids can say “hi” and mingle with the young adults and then go to bed to read for a little while because their normal bedtime is seven-thirty or eight.

We’ll have some kind of snack. Some weeks it’s something homemade, some weeks it’s whatever is in the cupboard that works. Some weeks it’s, “Josh, pick up something on your way home!” It just depends on my preparation for the week.

I really like making muffins because it’s easy, and I know they’re going to turn out alright. 

Erin: It’s filling. 

Hannah: Yes, and you can add variety easily. A few weeks ago I made banana muffins and half of them had chocolate chips, half of them had blueberries.

Some weeks they’ll devour whatever I put in front of them, other weeks it’s like, “No one was hungry tonight,” and that’s totally fine! This week I thought for sure there would be some left over the next day for the kids to have, because they always ask, “Can I have what you had for the small group?” And if there’s extra they can have it. Sometimes I’ll set aside a portion for them. But I didn’t, and by the end of the night the muffins were gone.

One of the young men, when he was leaving the house said, “Thanks for the muffins, Hannah. I had six of them!” (laughter) 

“Alright, whatever!”

Erin: That’s a lot of muffins. Was he on team blueberry or team chocolate chips? I’d be curious.

Hannah: I didn’t ask him, but he also had about six cookies last night. So he loves the snacks.

Erin: I actually remember that about my young adult years—you probably do, too. You’re still a young adult. At college age, homemade food is a real blessing! You just love it!

Hannah: Yep, they enjoy it! They’ll definitely eat the homemade stuff better than the store bought, so I try to do the homemade. And then we’ll vary between a sermon-based study, discussion questions based on the last week’s sermon, or we’ll go through a media series and do a video. And then we’ll split up into prayer, guys and girls will pray with their separate to groups, then sometimes we’ll do games at the end. That’s been lately, they’ll stick around and play games for awhile. Sometimes they’ll hang out we’ll just talk and laugh.

Erin: And by that point your kids are in bed.

Hannah: Yes, they’re really good sleepers, so it doesn’t matter how loud we are, and we just have a good time. Getting to pray at the end of our discussion, I think, is the most meaningful time—hearing what’s on their hearts, the struggles, and the victories. Just getting to be consistent with those, that time to pray, just pray for each other and follow up.

Erin: You homeschool your kids; how does that impact your ability to use your home for ministry?

Hannah: Oh, it’s awesome because we’re so flexible! As they’re getting older, it’s a little more challenging, because they have more stuff that I’d like to get done every day. 

But, especially before this year, we could do our schooling in the afternoon if that’s the only time someone’s free to come over (in the morning) and get together with other people. It’s nice to get together with other homeschool families. We have nowhere to be, so we can have time to have people over.

Erin: My kids are a little bit older than yours, but we still have a little, and we’re definitely in the “everybody’s at home” years. I just feel like there are a lot of ladies at my church and in my Christian circles that the kids are the reason why they feel like they can’t show hospitality . . . for any number of reasons. 

Sometimes I think they just feel like, “I’m at max, and the thought of adding anyone or anything into the mix is too much for me!”—which I get on some level.

What would you say to that mom, how would you reconcile the demands of motherhood—which are real and daily—and what you see in Scripture (and I do, too) as the command to be hospitable?

Hannah: I think that if you’re not hospitable, or not making time to get together with other believers—even if it’s in someone else’s home and you bring your kids with you—you miss out on a lot of blessings.

There’s a lot of blessings from taking the time for that, connecting with other people. Part of the reason it’s so important for me is all the “one anothers” in Scripture. You should pray for each other, exhort, encourage . . . 

Erin: . . . bear their burdens. 

Hannah: Yes, bear one another’s burdens. You can’t do that if you don’t know people, and you can’t get to know someone adequately ten minutes before church and even staying after.

You can get to know people, but not to the same depth to like, “What are you struggling with and how can I pray for you? I see this in your life and how can we grow in that area together?”

For our kids, the relationships they’ve built with some of our young adults, they’re loved on by these great young adults! And then, for the young adults, too, they get the opportunity to think of someone other than themselves a little. 

They’re not gaining status by it, but they get those blessings, and they truly love our kids. They snuggle together, the kids come running when they come in the door to show them cat videos. They’re just loved.

Erin: The church could be kind of one of the last intergenerational holdouts in our society. Everything else is very segmented, life-phased. Paul’s description of us as the church is being one body of many parts or a family, that gets lived out in really practical ways.

Hannah: It does!

Erin: So I’m “amen-ing” everything you’re saying.

Hannah: Yep, those relationships are important. Like in Titus it talks about the older pouring into the younger. You should always have someone older pouring into you, and you should always be pouring into someone younger than yourself. 

There’s a reason why that makes for a strong body of Christ. It’s important.

Erin: I think another layer of it is there’s a real temptation to build kid-centric families. Our kids are important; they’re blessings; we of course want to treasure them. But in watching my kids, that’s actually really bad for their soul, for me to make them the axis that I orbit around.

Part of the value of hospitality in my home is that they learn to live for others, and they learn to have people over when they don’t feel good. I want to pick your mom brain on this. 

We’ve had some toys get broken because other kids come and play, or their rooms were a little messy and I just had them clean so the people could come over, and that is hard for them. So, how do you navigate some of those challenges?

Hannah: Yes, so it’s like, “Our toys are to share,” so they get lots of practice sharing, so it’s not normally too big of a deal . . . unless it’s something new.

Erin: Our problem is LEGO sets. If they’re going to build, we try to put them up high. We try to set ourselves up for success, but we do have some broken sets.

Hannah: Yes, we’ll say, “Alright, I know you have this new thing you don’t want your younger cousin to play with. Where’s a safe place you can put it so then it’s not even visible and it’s not an issue?” It’s way harder when it’s out in the open and then you have to go over, “Oh, actually, you can’t play with that.” Then everyone’s upset, and that’s harder. So, we try to plan in advance for it. But they love to share their things with people because they’re used to it.

Erin: Yes, that’s a learned behavior. The sinner in them doesn’t love to share, so they have to learn that sacrifice. 

Hannah: They have to learn just being siblings; we are very much a communal toy family. As they’re getting older there are more things like, “Okay, this is yours, and you don’t have to let your two-year-old sister play with it because she’d ruin it.” So, to understand that difference.

But they aren’t like, “This is my Barbie; this is your Barbie.”’ But instead, “These are our Barbies, and we’re all going to share them together.” Not that that always goes smoothly . . .

Erin: Sure. There’s beauty in that, for sure. What are some ways you keep your heart prepared to continue to show hospitality? Because Scripture tells us not to be weary in well-doing, and some days we can start out as young marrieds eager to have our first house, excited to have people over. 

But then, you’re talking about a weekly cycle. How do you prepare your heart to continue to show hospitality?

Hannah: I think your own spiritual growth is always important. If you’re not learning and growing, then you’re going to have a hard time obeying God in different areas of your life.

When I’m not consistent in my devotions and prayer life, then I see that effect in other areas of my life, and I’ll think, I don’t want to do this. But it helps me to think of the bigger picture: what’s the real reason why we have people over? It’s so that we can build into them and disciple and help them grow closer to God. 

Sometimes you do that when you’re tired. Sometimes you’re super excited about it and sometimes you’re not, but still being faithful even when you don’t feel like it.

One time one of our young adults had just had a rough day, and I think I was out running errands. So I told her, “Well, I’m not home, but you can come on over, and I’ll be there soon and we can talk about it.”

And so she did come over. I got there shortly and just talked about what was going on, and I was glad that she was able just to come and talk through it. She understands our kids were running around and doing stuff and interrupting, but being able to talk and just work through it and pray together.

Erin: I think a lot of people would see that as an interruption.

Hannah: Oh, yeah. Being a Christian is an interruption to your life, but God has those moments for you. Are you going to say “yes” to God or “no” to God? I don’t want to say “no.” I want our home to be a reflection of heaven to my guests.

It sounds kind of strange putting it like that. But no, if you’re hungry, you’ll be fed. A book I read put it like this, “Having your toys put away and organized, there’s that peace.” That peace of God is shown in the peace of putting away things, that organization.

Being loved and cared for is an example of the love God has for us, and if I can give them a little glimpse of that, God’s love for us is so much greater than anything I could show, and how He meets our needs.

Maybe that’s partly why I never want them to leave hungry, because I never want to leave God’s presence hungry. He wouldn’t let me leave hungry, s o I don’t want them to leave hungry!

I want them to feel loved in those little things, because God provides for us in those little things that are important. He knows our needs and wants, and if I can pass that along to the people who come into our home, then I want them to see a glimpse of, our heavenly Father does so much more than that!

Erin: Beautiful! When Jesus ascended, He told us He was going to prepare a place, and when it was time He would welcome us to that place. And it will be a million times more than what you or I could ever do in our homes.

I often have said I want people to come into my house (and they don’t have to audibly do this), but I want something inside of them to go, “Sigh, that’s better!” And that’s what heaven’s going to be like . . . times a million! 

We’re going to be like, “Sigh, all striving has ceased, all grief is over, all tears are gone, all hunger is fed, all sickness is gone, all death is dead . . . ah, that’s better!”

And so we can be a glimpse of that, I agree.

Hannah: I agree, hopefully they’ll leave a little lighter than they came. We can help carry those burdens and encourage each other in whatever they’re going through and leave happier than they came in!

Dannah: That’s Erin Davis talking with Hannah Galvin about what hospitality can look like in a local church.

Hannah is part of a video series hosted by Erin Davis. It’s an amazing look at the lives of several women who are living out gospel-centered hospitality, and Hannah is one of them. You can watch the videos as they’re released at ReviveOurHearts.com/hospitality. 

Also, we took the principles from Nancy’s teaching in this series and turned it into a Bible study called You’re Welcome Here. Through this six-week study you’ll see that God’s kind of hospitality is not really an event as much as a lifestyle. 

We’re hoping you’ll go through this study over coffee or tea with a group of friends. Again, the title is You’re Welcome Here, and you’ll find more information when you visit ReviveOurHearts.com. We’ll send you your own copy of the study, in gratitude for your donation of any size to the ministry of Revive Our Hearts.

We’re listener-supported, which means we depend on the faithful giving of friends like you. Again, you can give at ReviveOurHearts.com. Select the word “Donate,” and you’ll be able to request your gift there. If you’d rather call, here’s our number: 1-800-569-5959.

Hospitality looks different from person to person. Tomorrow, we’ll look at what it looks like in the life of a sweet sister in an urban context. Please be back for Revive Our Hearts.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

All Scripture is taken from the NKJV unless otherwise noted.

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