How Does a Loyal Girl Deal with Loneliness?

Claire Black: This is True Girl, a podcast for girls and their moms. Together, we’ll explore God’s truth for us one flight at a time!

This week the True Girl Travel Agency is happy to help you explore . . . Canada!

As part of the Ruth Package, we’ll help you explore the second largest country in the world—including the interesting way they like their French fries—and we will continue our study of loyalty. Today, we’ll look at chapter 2 of the book of Ruth.

Have you ever been the new girl at school, soccer, or anywhere else? It can feel pretty lonely, right? 

In episode three of season nine, Dannah Gresh and Staci Rudolph are going to talk about what Ruth’s story can teach you about loneliness. It’s called, “How Does a Loyal Girl Deal with Loneliness?”Here’s Staci.

Staci Rudolph: The weather feels great, eh?

Dannah Gresh: Yes, it does.

Staci: And look at those flowers! Pretty beautiful, eh?

Dannah: Yes, they are, Staci. But you’ve been adding “eh” to every sentence since we got here. I know we’re in Canada, but could ya give it a break? 

Staci: I know, but I just wanna fit in! I wanna sound like the locals.

Dannah: Well, don’t overdo it then. They’re not saying it that much. Plus, if I couldn’t use my British accent in London, you can’t overuse “eh, in Canada.

Staci: Ah, so that’s what this is really about! Okay okay, I’ll give it a rest. Hey, while you guys were checking into the hotel, I saw a voice memo come through from Julia. 

Now, let me catch you up, True Girl. As you know, the True Girl Travel Agency prides itself on having advice from locals. And Julia, our resource manager for the True Girl Tour, is an actual Canadian. Julia actually lives about an hour away from where I live in Michigan, but in a totally different country. We’re so close yet so far! I told her we’d be popping into her town of Sarnia, Ontario on our way to Niagara Falls and asked if she could help us navigate the area while we’re here. Here’s what she tells me:

Julia: Hey Staci, I hope you guys got in okay. Welcome to Canada! I’m so glad you’ve decided to check out my town. Sarnia is a small town, but it’s actually the biggest city on Lake Huron. Canada has the largest number of lakes in the world! Pretty cool, right?

Oh, and when it comes to food, there are two things you must to try while you’re here.

First, make sure you go down to Bluewater Bridge and get some bridge fries! Poutine ones are the best. They’re fries topped with brown gravy and cheese curds—a Canadian specialty. You can get them at any of the fry trucks there. 

We also have a dessert called BeaverTails. They’re really good too! You can get them at any bakery in town.

Hope you guys have a great time

Oh, one last thing, don’t overuse “eh.” That’s a sure way to stand out as a tourist! Okay, see ya!

Dannah: See, I told ya! Using “eh” so much will definitely make you stand out as the new girl in town.

Staci: Okay okay. I won’t say it so much. I promise. So, that’s Bluewater Bridge. Let’s head that way, and we’ll get some of that poutine Julia was talkin’ about!

Dannah: Good. Hey, speaking of standing out as the new girl, have you ever been the new girl somewhere? Like at school or summer camp?

Staci: Yep, I sure have. It’s a pretty scary feeling sometimes too. It can be kind of lonely. It’s definitely not a comfy feeling at all. I’m sure you’ve felt that before too, True Girl.

Dannah: Yep, that’s a nod of solidarity I think I saw. Well, the second chapter of Ruth is going to teach us how to navigate that. It’ll answer the question, “How does a loyal girl deal with loneliness?”

When Ruth chose to go with Naomi to Bethlehem, she knew she was signing up to be the new girl. And do you remember what we learned last week? Do you remember how people treated foreigners? 

Staci: Yep! They weren’t nice to them at all.

Dannah: Exactly. Ruth wouldn’t just be the new girl for the first few weeks, she was going to be labeled a foreigner forever. She didn’t walk into her first day in Bethlehem wondering if anyone would like her. She pretty much knew that the people in her new town weren’t going to try and be her friend. 

Staci: Wow, that’s hard. She was pretty brave! 

Dannah: Yup.

Staci: So, how did her first day go? I’m on pins and needles here!

Dannah: We have to read Ruth chapter 2 to find out. Staci let’s just take a break and sit on this bench and do a little Bible reading. Let me grab it out of my backpack here. Ruth chapter 2, there we go, would you do the honors?

Staci: Of course!

Now there was a wealthy and influential man in Bethlehem named Boaz, who was a relative of Naomi’s husband, Elimelech.

One day Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, “Let me go out into the harvest fields to pick up the stalks of grain left behind by anyone who is kind enough to let me do it.”

Naomi replied, “All right, my daughter, go ahead.” So Ruth went out to gather grain behind the harvesters. And as it happened, she found herself working in a field that belonged to Boaz, the relative of her father-in-law, Elimelech.

While she was there, Boaz arrived from Bethlehem and greeted the harvesters. “The Lord be with you!” he said.

“The Lord bless you!” the harvesters replied.

Then Boaz asked his foreman, “Who is that young woman over there? Who does she belong to?”

And the foreman replied, “She is the young woman from Moab who came back with Naomi. She asked me this morning if she could gather grain behind the harvesters. She has been hard at work ever since, except for a few minutes’ rest in the shelter.” (vv. 1–7)

Woah, now there’s a lot to take in here. Let’s break it down.

Dannah: Yeah, these verses will make a whole lot more sense if we get a better understanding of the traditions and behaviors in Bethlehem. Some people there were a little nicer to newcomers than in other places. 

Staci: Why? 

Dannah: Because God had stepped in with some instructions for them. In spite of the fact that being a foreigner was a sure way to be left out, God had commanded His people to be kind to foreigners and widows. That’s what you call women whose husbands have died. God made a special rule for them. Let me show it to you. Let me flip over here to Deuteronomy 24:19. It says,

When you are harvesting your crops and forget to bring in a bundle of grain from your field, don’t go back to get it. Leave it for the foreigners, orphans, and widows. Then the Lord your God will bless you in all you do.

Staci: Hmm, so God wanted His people to take care of the foreigners even if the rest of the world didn’t?

Dannah: Yep! Isn’t God so good? Ruth knew that because she was both a foreigner and a widow, if she went to the fields and searched very carefully, she could find extra grain leftover that the harvesting workers had dropped . . . on purpose!

Staci: I love that, because it’s so true! When I’m the new girl somewhere and I just decide to let myself wallow in feelings of loneliness, and kind of have the “woe is me” mindset. It never really makes me feel any better, it kind of makes it worse.

Dannah: Yep. I agree. But looking around to see what you can do to help makes you feel better.

Staci: It does!

Dannah: Now, we know how to respond as loyal girls when we feel lonely ourselves, but what do we do when we see someone else who is experiencing loneliness?

Staci: That’s a good question. I think the passage of Ruth’s story we just read answers that one too.

As Ruth was hard at work in the field, along came a very important character named Boaz. Boaz was the owner of the farm, so he’s pretty popular around the field. All of the workers knew him. When he saw the new girl working so hard, he asked one of his workers who she was. The worker told Boaz that Ruth was a foreigner and explained what she had done for Naomi. Boaz knew this must be a lonely time for Ruth. Let’s see how he responded. Heads up: You’re about to meet a pretty loyal guy! 

Dannah, can you read Ruth 2:8–9?

Dannah: You got it.

Boaz went over and said to Ruth, “Listen, my daughter. Stay right here with us when you gather grain; don’t go to any other fields. Stay right behind the young women working in my field. See which part of the field they are harvesting, and then follow them. I have warned the young men not to treat you roughly. And when you are thirsty, help yourself to the water they have drawn from the well.” (vv. 8–9)

Staci: That’s so extra nice. Well, Ruth fell right on her knees in gratitude and said, “Thanks for taking care of me, a foreigner.” And verses 11 and 12 show us that Boaz saw that Ruth was kind, too. Can you read that?

Dannah: Okay.

“Yes, I know,” Boaz replied. “But I also know about everything you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband. I have heard how you left your father and mother and your own land to live here among complete strangers. May the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully for what you have done.”

Staci: So, it wasn’t just God who saw Ruth’s loyalty. And Dannah, it gets even better. Read verse 14, please.

Dannah:

At mealtime Boaz called to her, “Come over here, and help yourself to some food. You can dip your bread in the sour wine.” So she sat with his harvesters, and Boaz gave her some roasted grain to eat. She ate all she wanted and still had some left over.

Staci: Now, you and I may not be into sour wine, but that’s extra! He didn’t just obey God and leave grain for her to pick up, he’s like, “Let me feed you, too!” Go Boaz! Oh, and he wanted to make sure her baskets were full when she went home. Read verses 15–17.

Dannah: Okay.

When Ruth went back to work again, Boaz ordered his young men, “Let her gather grain right among the sheaves without stopping her. And pull out some heads of barley from the bundles and drop them on purpose for her. Let her pick them up, and don’t give her a hard time!”

So Ruth gathered barley there all day, and when she beat out the grain that evening, it filled an entire basket. She carried it back into town and showed it to her mother-in-law. Ruth also gave her the roasted grain that was left over from her meal.

It’s so cool. So, Ruth kept coming back to Boaz’s field! I love this story! 

Staci: Yep, Boaz welcoming Ruth into his fields was definitely a sign of loyalty. He’s being a loyal guy. And that brings me to Loyalty Lesson #2: 

When a loyal girl or guy sees someone who is lonely, he or she brings comfort.

Our lonely but loyal Ruth has found a new friend who was also loyal to God’s commands.

Dannah: Yes. Both Ruth and Boaz are two great examples of loyalty for us to learn from. And we can understand why a loyal girl doesn’t have to be afraid of loneliness. It’s because God will, in the right time, provide someone to bring us comfort.

Staci: Good stuff! Okay, I think it’s time for us to apply this.

So, we all feel loneliness sometimes, but loneliness isn’t a forever feeling. Sometimes it seems like we take turns feeling it. Sometimes it’s our turn to be the new girl like Ruth. And other times we are right at home like Boaz. But in both cases, our loyalty tells us to respond in the same way. 

Dannah: Yeah, doesn’t the Bible say something about that?

Staci: It sure does! I was about to read it. Philippians 2:3–4 reminds us:

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

It’s so easy for us to only think of ourselves. But God wants us to be thinking of those around us. Thinking about how other people feel is the fastest way to fight loneliness. 

Dannah: Absolutely. Get your eyes on the needs of other people, it does truly help. Staci, let’s keep walking, we’re almost there. 

True Girl, have you been feeling lonely lately? Or do you know someone who seems like she may be lonely? What can you do to serve those around you and help to fight the loneliness? That’s the question you need to be asking yourself.

Staci: Couldn’t have said it better myself. 

And here we are at the bridge. Look at all the French fries stands. Sure is crowded. I guess we’re gonna have poutine fries?

Dannah: I guess, but I was kinda looking forward to BeaverTails for dessert. There’s only so much room in my tummy, so I’m feeling a little bit torn.

Staci: Well, look at the menu board, Dannah. They’ve got poutine BeaverTails. It’s a BeaverTail with french fries, gravy, and cheese curds! Uh, I don’t know what I think of . . .

Dannah: We’re getting it. We’re going to try it! Oh wow, that line is long. Speaking of loneliness, no one’s gonna get lonely there!

Staci: Nope!

Dannah: But ya know, loneliness is a really tricky feeling. It lies to us and tells us that we don’t fit in. When we believe it, it tricks us into separating ourselves from other people. Our job is to make sure we don’t separate from other people, but lean into their needs! By growing closer to other people, we can beat loneliness.

Staci: If you think you see a lonely girl, you need to be like Boaz and reach out. But, if you’re the lonely girl, well, you need to do something about that, too. Pray and talk to God about what makes you feel lonely. Ask Him to help you reach out to other people. Then, go tell someone. I think Ruth and Naomi had really deep conversations. We can too.

Dannah: You know what, Staci? I feel like maybe we should just pray for our True Girl.

Staci: Let’s do it. 

Dannah: In case she is feeling lonely. 

Dear Jesus, I know what loneliness feels like. Staci knows what loneliness feels like. We all experience it at some time in our life. I pray, Father, that when we feel that, that we would tell someone, and then look around and see, who can I help? Maybe I’m not the only one feeling this? 

And Lord, I pray that we would be the girls that act like Boaz, where when we see someone who is lonely, we share our lunch with them, or we invite them to our house, and we meet that need. 

God, I pray that as we continue to study the book of Ruth, that You would help us to understand what to do with our loneliness and how to be loyal friends. In Jesus’ name I pray this, amen.

Staci: Amen. 

Dannah: Well, guys, we’ve just studied chapter 2 of the book of Ruth. We’re well on our way to learning how to become girls of loyalty.

Staci: I’d say so. You know what else I say?

Dannah: What?

Staci: I say we need to get in line for some amazing poutine on a BeaverTail, eh?

Claire: Well, that's a wrap. Poutine, anyone? We challenge you to buy some fries, some gravy and some cheese curds and give poutine a try. Just bake it all in an oven and . . . yummy! And if you want to also make BeaverTails, have at it! (Though I’d probably go for the cinnamon sugar one and keep my fries separate.) And then your mom can post it on Instagram and tag @truegirlofficial.

How’d you like Loyalty Lesson #2? When a loyal girl sees someone who is lonely, she brings comfort. 

We have three more loyalty lessons to go, and they’re all from the Bible study Ruth: Becoming a Girl of Loyalty. That’s by Dannah Gresh. To dig deeper than we can on the podcast, get a copy of that book anywhere you like to buy books, including ReviveOurHearts.com.

And hey, you’re never too young to start doing Bible studies! Maybe make this the year you begin. I recommend you start with the True Girl Ruth Bible study or our new on-demand study based on the book Lies Girls Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free by Dannah Gresh. To learn more, go to MyTrueGirl.com/LiesGirlsBelieve! 

Be sure to join us for our next destination and loyalty lesson. We’re headed to the home of the Taj Mahal. Know where that is? Maybe you can make it your homework to find out.

The True Girl podcast is produced by Revive Our Hearts, calling women of all ages to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ!

All Scripture is taken from the NLT.

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