Something You Need to Know about Mean Girls

Claire Black: This is True Girl, a podcast for girls and their moms. Together, we’ll explore God’s truth for us—one drive at a time. 

Buckle up! You’re about to grow closer to each other and closer to Jesus. And maybe today, we can bring you closer to your siblings. 

Dannah Gresh is the founder of True Girl and the host of our podcast. When she wrote Lies Girls Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free, she surveyed over 1,500 church-going tween girls. She asked them, “Are you ever mean to your brothers and sisters?” 81% said yes. Uh oh, we might have a mean girl problem to fix.

Today, Dannah and her cohost Staci are going to tell you something you need to know about mean girls. Let’s get moving for season 3, episode 3 titled, “Something You Need to Know about Mean Girls.” 

Here’s Dannah.

Dannah Gresh: Hey there, true girl. I’m Dannah Gresh, and I’m so happy you’re here today. 

Staci Rudolph: And I’m Staci Rudolph. I’m pumped you’re chilling with us. I gotta be honest Dannah, I am super geeked for today’s episode. 

Dannah: Geeked? What do you mean by geeked? Could you clarify?

Staci: Ah you know, excited, jazzed.

Dannah: Okay, why are you geeked?

Staci: Well, today we’re going to talk about mean girls. 

Dannah: And that’s something to be excited about?

Staci: Yeah, because I know what it’s like. It’s such an important thing to talk about, because odds are we have all struggled with being mean girls at some point in our lives, if we’re honest.

Dannah: Yeah. I mean, you are absolutely right. True girl, you may have heard the title of this podcast, “Something You Need to Know about Mean Girls” and thought, I’m going to get help knowing how to respond when someone’s mean to me. 

Well, I want you to know that I’m sorry if someone has been mean to you, and God truly cares about that. But today’s podcast is about the mean girl in each of us. 

Staci: I know there’s been one in me from time to time. 

Dannah: Me too, sadly. And when it comes to being a mean girl, there’s something you need to know. 

Staci: And here it is: some people say it’s normal to be a mean girl, but we can’t find that any place in the Bible.

Dannah: Nope. Not even one. So, let’s get real. The weapons of choice for mean girls, that’s us when we’re mean girls, are usually not fists or sticks or stones, but words. We often use our words to hurt other people when we’re feeling mean. There are many, many verses about how to use your words. 

Like Psalm 19:14, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” 

Staci: That one reminds us: God is listening to our words, everything we say. So ask yourself, Would you want Him to hear what you said to your little brother this morning?

Dannah: Ouch. 

Staci: Okay, okay, what about Proverbs 18:4, “A person's words can be life giving water, words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook.”

Dannah: Are your words refreshing to the people that hear them? Something to think about. 

Being mean actually comes more naturally to us than having words that are careful, refreshing words, words that are pleasing to God, when we don’t feel appreciated or when we don’t feel included, or when your little brother is a lot of extra work and requires so much patience. 

At those times, being mean comes really naturally. But there’s not one place in the Bible where we find that it’s okay to be mean with our words. Instead, the teaching in the Bible about our words reminds us to be kind, be gentle, be truthful, be life-giving. 

Staci: Now, we could just say, “Don’t be mean.” Then play today’s featured song, and just go on our merry way. But I think there’s more to learn. 

So, let’s check out our key verses for today. They’re found in Ephesians 1:9–10. And you know the drill by now, so let’s hear the verse from True Girl lead teacher, Chizzy Anderson. 

Chizzy Anderson: Let’s have a look at Ephesians chapter 1, verses 9 to 10,

God has now revealed to us his mysterious will regarding Christ—which is to fulfill his own good plan. And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—everything in heaven and on earth. 

Staci: Now, you may be asking, “Staci, what does this have to do with mean girls?” And to that my friend, I would say, “This verse is a verse of hope.” Ephesians 1 tells us that God is working to fulfill a really good plan. And the plan is that one day, everything is going to be like it’s supposed to be, before sin entered the picture way back in the Garden of Eden. Before anyone was ever mean, before anyone ever yelled or lied, before there were bad and selfish words. 

Dannah: Yeah. God’s good plan includes everything in heaven and on earth. Everything will be brought together under God’s authority. He’s going to fix all the broken stuff in this world. And you know what that means, among many other things? No more mean girls. Woo! 

Staci: I’d say that again. Hopefully that encourages you a little bit, if someone’s been mean to you, or if you are struggling with being a mean girl. 

Dannah: Yeah. And let me say something about that. If you’re struggling with being a mean girl, I want you to talk to your mom about that. I want you to talk to maybe your grandma or somebody older that really loves Jesus, because there’s a reason that you’re doing that. You need to figure out what’s going on in your heart. It might be that you do feel afraid, because people aren’t nice to you or you do feel insecure or something like that and you need help with that. 

It also might be that you’re not able to be kind, because you need more of Jesus, and you haven’t really fully accepted Him into your heart, into your life, to let Him be the Lord of your life; to let Him direct the words that come out of your tongue. 

So, if you’re struggling with being mean, you have a little homework to do. I want you to talk to someone about that. 

Now, back to the verse, it’s not about mean girls, of course. The verse is about everything in our broken world that is impacted by sin. That’s what this verse is really about, and eventually every kind of sin will be erased and all of God’s good is going to replace it. 

We wanted to take some time with that verse and remember, it includes the fact that God will fix how we treat each other. 

Staci: But we don’t have to wait until the whole world is fixed to participate in helping God fix our corner of the world.

Dannah: That’s right. 

Staci: Ephesians 1 reads, “God has revealed to us His mysterious will” (v. 9). Now, this of course talking about His good plan to make everything good again. He’s revealed that to you; He’s revealed it to me. So, if we know about God’s special plan to make things right, well, we get to be part of helping in that plan. 

Dannah: Yeah. 

Staci: That is if we want help, right?

Dannah: Yeah. 

Staci: He’s not going to make us. 

Dannah: Right. 

Staci: And how cool is that? That God wants us to be a part of His good plan to bring heaven down to this earth.

Let’s listen to today’s song. It’s titled “Bring Heaven Down.” As you’re listening, we want you to try to hear how the verse we just read connects to that song. 

Song:

Not gonna build houses in the sand,
On Your promises we will always stand.
Don’t wanna just blend in the crowd,
We don’t wanna go around picking fights,
Don’t wanna gossip, our words will speak life,
We just wanna live our life out loud.
You are worth all our praise, all our praise,
And as one we lift Your name, lift your name.

We (hey!) are stronger together.
We (hey!) are Your greatest treasure.
We (hey!) won’t settle no matter what.
We are children of a King.
You (hey!) gave Your life for us.
And You (hey!) say we are beloved.
So we (hey!) just wanna rise up.
And we will bring heaven down,
We’ll bring heaven down.

Where You lead us all, we will follow You.
We’ll stand up and radiate Your truth.
Gonna be a soldier for Your love.
Won’t compare each other when were down,
Lift up one another, we’ll start now,
To show the whole world what You’ve done for us.
You are worth all our praise, all our praise.
As one we’ll lift Your name, lift Your name.

We are yours.
We will rise up,
And lift You high,
To bring heaven down.
Heaven down.
We are yours.
We will rise up,
And lift You high,
To bring heaven down.
Heaven down.

We (hey!) are stronger together.
We (hey!) are your greatest treasure.
We (hey!) won’t settle no matter what,
We are children of a King.
You (hey!) gave Your life for us.
And You (hey!) say we are beloved.
So we (hey!) just wanna rise up.
And we will bring heaven down,
We’ll bring heaven down,
We’ll bring heaven down.

Dannah: Awe, now Staci, that’s beautiful! 

Staci: Thank you, thank you.

Dannah: When you guys do that song at a True Girl live event, I just get chills. I don’t know if you caught this, but we wrote that song because we wanted to just say with a song with our words that we want to be girls who cooperate with God’s good plan. We want to help bring heaven down. 

Staci: Bring heaven down? Did it say that?

Dannah: Did the song say that, Staci? Did the song say bring heaven down? 

Staci: Well, today we want to issue a special invitation to you. Make your relationships look more like the kind God meant for us to have. 

Dannah: Yeah, no gossiping, use your words to speak life. Don’t compare yourself to others, instead tell another girl, “You’re awesome!” Encourage her. 

Staci: I invite you to be kind. 

Dannah: Yeah. Be kind. Recently women all over the world participated in the Revive Our Hearts Kindness Challenge. Now, maybe some of you joined us, because at the same time we were doing a True Girl Kindness Challenge. And let me just say, it was life changing for some people. 

Here’s what was happening, women and girls who practiced kindness, they decided, “I’m going to control my tongue. I’m going to say kind words.” They felt a whole lot better about their relationships after the challenge than they did before they were careful to be kind. 

Staci: Wouldn’t it be awesome to feel better about your relationships? Your friendships? Your impact on your brothers and sisters? Well, you’re invited to shed that inner mean girl and practice kindness. It’s just one simple way that you and I can participate in God’s good plan to make this world more like what He initially created. 

I hope you remember this invitation every time you listen to this song, “Bring Heaven Down.” 

Dannah: “Bring heaven down,” were those words in that song?

Staci: Yeah, okay, alright. 

Claire: There you have it. You and I have an invitation to bring heaven down. I don’t know about you, but I’m planning to RSVP “yes” to this invite. I hope you will too. 

If you need help remembering how it works, you can listen to “Bring Heaven Down” and all the great truth-filled songs again and again. They can be found on our True Girl original album, created just for you. Download it or buy a CD at MyTrueGirl.com. When you order the CD, you’ll be able to read the lyrics as you listen, so you can really learn them.

I hope you’ll come back for the next episode of the True Girl podcast. We’ll use the Bible to answer this question, “Are you a princess?” The answer might surprise you. 

The True Girl podcast is produced by Revive Our Hearts calling women of all ages to treat others with kindness. 

“Bring Heaven Down” music and lyrics were written by Carmen Hadley and David Thulin. 

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