Sugar & Spice

Claire Black: This is True Girl a podcast for girls and their moms, and sometimes dads listen in too! This season we’ll learn what the Bible has to say about being girls and guys, one drive at a time. 

Buckle up, you’re about to grow to closer to each other and closer to Jesus. Our world sends us all kinds of funny and sometimes confusing messages about what it means to be a girl or a boy, but you can’t trust everything you hear. Today, we’ll turn to God’s Word to figure out just what ingredients make a girl.

True Girl is hosted by Dannah Gresh. She and her husband, Bob, wrote a book titled 8 Great Dates for Dads and Daughters. At the end of today’s episode, Dannah will invite you and your dad to plan one of those dates. To get all of the details on how to make the most out of that time, get a copy of 8 Great Dates for Dads and Daughters.

Okay, let’s get moving! It’s time for season 2, episode 2: “Sugar and Spice.”Here’s Dannah. 

Dannah Gresh: Hello true girl, mom, dad. Hi Staci. 

Staci Rudolph: Hi Dannah, welcome back everyone. 

Dannah: Is that a chocolate chip cookie in your mouth?

Staci: Yeah. There’s a whole batch of them in the kitchen. They’re still warm and gooey. 

Dannah: Staci, those are Bob’s.

Staci: Oh well, he wasn’t eating them and somebody had to. Mmm . . . these are good. Did you make them for a special reason?

Dannah: I didn’t make them. That’s what I’m telling you. They’re Bob’s . . . as in Bob made them. 

Staci: Bob bakes?

Dannah: Not very often, but he made those. 

Staci: Hold the phone. You mean to tell me Bob made these?

Dannah: Staci, boys can bake, you know? 

Staci: Wait, I’ve got to get this cookie out of my mouth. Well, I know my dad cooks. Mostly, a lot of fish, but I didn’t know Bob could bake. 

Dannah: Staci, have you ever heard the word “stereotype”?

Staci: Of course! A stereotype is when you think everyone in a group is a certain way. Like everybody from Texas drives a big truck, or all the girls like to wear pink. 

Dannah: Or that boys don’t bake. 

Staci: Exactly. Well, I can tell you one thing, your man really can bake.

Dannah: Yup, he can. Well, this week we’re going to talk about ingredients.

Staci: You mean like chocolate chips?

Dannah: Nope. Like sugar and spice and everything nice.

Staci: Here you go quoting that nursery rhyme “Girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice, boys are made of . . .” What does it say about them?

Dannah: Hold on I think I have that song right here, so you can hear it.

Song:

What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails and puppy dog tails.
That's what boys are made of.

Staci: Nursery rhymes are so weird. I mean who writes those things? We got the baby’s cradle up in a tree falling down, and ashes and ashes, and again we all fall down. Then the boys are made of the frogs, snails, and what? Just the tails of puppy dogs?

Dannah: Yeah, nursery rhymes can be strange, and the whole sugar and spice and everything nice thing compared the boy’s verse, well, that’s not really fair or accurate. 

Staci: You’ve got that right. 

Dannah: Here’s the thing, that’s just one example of how we hear messages about being a girl and being a boy from a really young age. And so many of those messages create stereotypes. They make us think we have to do certain things or like certain things to be a girl. And here’s what I want you to know, a true girl doesn’t listen to those messages. She gets her ingredients for what makes a girl from the Bible, not nursery rhymes, or any other message: poem, song, movie, or message from the world. We’ve got to get our truth about what it means to be a woman or a girl from the Bible.

Staci: Absolutely. Who knows better than God? He made us. 

Dannah: That’s right. Now, I want to tell you a little secret, there’s usually a tad bit of truth in a stereotype. For example, we tend to think of women as bakers, because in a lot of homes moms do most of the baking, and aren’t you glad about that?

Staci: I know I am. My mom can cook. So, today we want to tell you guys about the itty-bitty thread of truth that’s hidden behind some of those stereotypes. It’s this, God does give us some guidelines in Scripture about the kind of girl He wants us to be, but none of them mention what color we should wear or what hobbies we should do. 

The problem with stereotypes is that most of them are not in the Bible as something God says you should or should not do. So, here’s what we say to stereotypes . . . in other words, we don’t like stereotypes. 

Now, that doesn’t mean there aren’t some qualities or ingredients that should be in a man or woman of God.

Dannah: That’s right. Here’s something super important that we believe: men and women are both created in the image of God. Remember, we talked about that one the last podcast. Men and women are equal in value and dignity, but they have different ways they function in our homes and in the church. 

Did you hear that? They have different ways they function in our homes and in the church. And for the record, that does not include who bakes awesome chocolate chip cookies. But it does include things like who has babies? Moms. Or who makes final decisions about hard things? Dad. 

These are biblical commands. They are commands; they are not stereotypes. So, it’s true that there are some things men should be or do, and some things women should be or do. But we don’t want you, true girl, to be bothered and burdened and pressured to be something that’s not based on what the Bible says about what it means to be a girl. 

Staci: Like as in: you gotta be good at baking? 

Dannah: Right. And we don’t want boys to be bothered and burdened either. 

Staci: As in, “No baking for you.”

Dannah: Staci, you’re a little stuck on baking today.

Staci: Have you tasted one of Bob’s cookies? You’d be stuck on baking too. No, but serious, I’m tracking with you. In fact, let me prove it by pulling out today’s power verse. This is Romans chapter 12 verse 2, 

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

That means that we don’t have to embrace the things that the world does, including making up stereotypes. “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world . . .” But we do have to let God change the way we think about being a girl. When the world has caused so much confusion around the whole topic, how do we let God change the way we think? By being in His Word to know what kind of girl He designed us to be. 

And when we learn God’s will through the Bible, we’re going to find His plan is good—real good. 

Dannah: Yeah. So, what we’re saying is this, the more you study the Bible, the more you’ll know what kind of girl God wants you to be. 

Staci: Yup. 

Dannah: Let’s take it to God’s Word and see what He says. Proverbs 31 is a very popular chapter for women and for good reason, but I want to make a disclaimer for this chapter. Proverbs 31 isn’t a rule book for what a woman must be. It’s actually just an example of what an awesome woman can be. These are not considered commands and should not become stereotypes, but they are good ideas . . . real good ideas.

Staci: Woah, woah, woah, repeat that. This is not an ad for your grandma’s arthritis pills. This is important info that we need to know. 

Dannah: You’re right. I will say it slowly. Proverbs 31 isn’t a rule book for what a woman must be, it’s actually just an example of what an awesome woman can be. These are not considered commands and should not become stereotypes, but they are really good ideas.

Staci: That’s true. I wish more girl knew that. Let’s read some of Proverbs 31, because here you’ll find some good ingredients that make up a godly girl. Now, we’re just going to go over a couple of verses, so after this episode you can read the rest and circle the ones we found together, and the ones you find with your mom and dad. 

Dannah: Okay, Proverbs 31 verses 13–15 reads: 

She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. 

Staci: Wow, she’s a hard worker. That’s one ingredient—hard work. But you don’t have to get up early and spin wool every morning, just do your homework true girl. Work hard at your math and English.

Dannah: Yeah, and if it seems that the Proverbs 31 is all work and no play, well just you wait, because verse 26, says, “When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.” 

Staci: Ah, kindness. I guess that’s kind of a sweet ingredient. And wise is another ingredient. Hard working and kind and wise, that’s not the same list of ingredients as sugar and spice and everything nice, is it?

Dannah: Nope. We’ve got to get our ingredients for what makes a godly girl from the Bible, not nursery rhymes, or any other poems, song, movie, or message from the world. That’s why, true girl, you need to be reading your Bible, so that you’ll know what is true. 

Staci: You can read the rest of Proverbs 31 and find all kinds of ingredients. Things like gentleness and courage, and so much more. And in fact, it’s time for our dad/daughter challenge, and maybe Bob will include reading that chapter of the Bible. Here he is, the man, the myth, the chocolate chip cookie baker, Bob Gresh. 

Bob Gresh: Hey guys, I’d like to go on record to say this: there are in fact no puppy dog tails in the making of boys. 

Staci: You don’t say. 

Bob: I’d also like to go on the record as saying: someone’s been eating my cookies. I feel like Goldilocks.

Staci: Stop with the nursery stories. But yes, I was eating your cookies, and they were the bomb. I didn’t know you were a baker. 

Bob: Oh, I’m not a baker, I’m a sous chef.

Staci: A what?

Bob: A sous chef. I think you would call it a sous chef, but I’m not a baker. 

Dannah: The word is sous chef. 

Bob: A sous chef, I know. But that’s what you call an assistant chef, right?

Dannah: Right.

Bob: I didn’t put the ingredients together; I just assist the Pillsbury doughboy. 

Dannah: So, those were slice and bake?

Bob: They were slice and bake.

Dannah: Oh Bob.

Bob: And that’s two things. That’s complicated baking. 

Dannah: Slicing and baking. Bob do you have . . .

Staci: I’ve been bamboozled. 

Dannah: Okay Bob, do you have a challenge for my true girl and her dad or father figure?

Bob: Yeah, I do, but first can I say a favorite ingredient of mine from Proverbs 31?

Dannah: Yeah. 

Bob: Well, at the end of the chapter it says, “. . . a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised” (v. 30). To fear God means to respect Him and obey Him, and if there’s one thing I know for sure is that both of you fear the Lord, and it shows. I see that ingredient in your lives. 

Dannah: Aw, thank you. 

Bob: It’s more complicated than slice and bake.

Dannah: Thanks, baby. 

Bob: But you guys do a great job. You’re the real thing. 

Dannah: Well, true girl, the reality is, God has chosen you to be just the way you are. Whether you can or can’t bake. Whether you’re always painting or you’re always on a dirt bike, He made you unique, and He loves the way that you are. 

I’m kind of a pink loving, horse riding, snorkeling, bookworm kind of girl.

Staci: Well, I’m kind of a sporty girl. So, sneakers, windbreakers, all kinds of sporty stuff. That’s just who I am. 

Be the kind of unique girl that God created you to be. Check in with God’s Word, and you’ll find every ingredient that you need. 

Bob: And when I see you, and my girls being who God created them to be, it makes me want to be the kind of man that God wants me to be. 

Staci: The world can make it so difficult to understand being a girl, but we find the truth of what it means to be a girl in God’s Word. And in fact, that reminds me of a song, Dannah. I gotta get that nursery rhyme out of my head.

Dannah: Yeah, I’m sorry about that. 

Staci: Can I? Let me just play this song about the crazy messages the world tells us about ourselves. Listen closely. You’ll hear a reminder that we need to turn to God’s Word to know what kind of girl He wants us to be. 

Song:

All the crazy stuff that I hear on the TV
Is wanting to tell me what to believe to be.
I don't want to jump in blind just to be seen
I want to spend my life with my eyes on eternity.

I know who I am.
I've got joy down in my heart.
I know God's got a plan.
He told me from the start.

I'm a true girl.
Jesus is my foundation.
I'll tell the whole world,
I am a new creation.
I am free,
I am a masterpiece.
I am a true girl.¹

Bob: Wow, I really love that song. We made that album for the girls, but the messages are great for the guys too. It’s really catchy. 

Hey, I’m pretty excited about the challenge today. I’m sending you to the kitchen for some dad/daughter cooking or baking. If you want to make something really complicated, that’s great, some guys love that. I don’t. So if that’s who you are, do it. But if you want to assist the Pillsbury doughboy, well you’re a father and daughter after my own heart. 

But for the record, I can make chicken in the Instant Pot.

Dannah: I don’t know about that. Don’t you just open two cans of cream of chicken soup and throw it in the pot with the chicken?

Bob: Yeah, but just because I’m an efficient man in the kitchen, does that make my cooking any less valuable or tasty?

Dannah: No, no. 

Bob: Have you tasted this wondrous creation of two cans?

Dannah: I have, I have. You still may be a kitchen hacker. 

Bob: That’s it! To the kitchen, Dannah Gresh. I’ll prove myself to you. 

Claire: Well, I’m sure hungry for a chocolate chip cookie. How about we head to the kitchen? And remember, whether or not you enjoy baking, be the girl that God created you to be. You can use any recipes you want when you tackle today’s father/daughter challenge. But you’ll find some fun recipes and conversation prompts, in the book 8 Great Dates for Dads and Daughtersby Bob and Dannah Gresh. You can learn more about that book at MyTrueGirl.com.

You’ll also find lots of tools to help you grow closer to your mom as you both grow closer to Jesus. Join us for the next episode as we talk about boys.

The True Girl podcast is produced in partnership with Revive Our Hearts calling women of all ages to shape their lives by the truth of God’s Word.

1 "True Girl." The True Girl Original Album. https://store.purefreedom.org/product/true-girl-the-original-album/

*Offers available only during the broadcast of the podcast season.