God’s Healing for Women

Episode Notes:

This program was made from the following episodes:

"I Hate Rabbits"

"Woman at the Well"

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Dannah Gresh: Remember when you first came to really know Jesus? I imagine some women might feel this way.

Millie: He knows who I am in this town, and still he treats me with such dignity, with such respect, that for the first time in I don’t know how long, I actually felt like I was worth somethin’!

Dannah: Jesus has a way of making us feel loved that no one else can. Today, we’re gonna talk about His healing touch.

Welcome to Revive Our Hearts Weekend, I’m Dannah Gresh.

I’m glad you’re here today. I’ve wanted created a safe place for you and I today to just talk. That's I’ve tried, anyway. In fact, can I pour you some tea? I want to talk about something that could be a trigger for you. And want to warn you so you aren’t caught off guard. I want us to talk about healing from abuse. 

That peppermint tea is soothing isn't it? Well, the truth we have from God's Word today is going to be even more comforting than that . . . and . . . you might need it.  

Did you know one in three women have been abused? And that abuse comes in various forms: verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual. And chances are that if you haven’t been abused, you know someone who has been.

Today I want to start a conversation with you—one that will give you some hope and healing—in the form of stories (a story from a friend and one from the Bible).

To heal from any sort of pain, we need to start with the beginning. For that I want to turn to my friend Laura Booz. Laura experienced abuse, and she shared her story on her podcast, Expect Something Beautiful, which is in the podcast family here at Revive Our Hearts. This story is personal for me because I got to walk her through some of her pain and grief. Here’s Laura with a memory from her teenage years.

Laura Booz: My high school friends and I loved spending summer evenings under the stars. We’d cozy up to a crackling campfire and roast marshmallows, and whenever the smoke from the fire blew in our faces, we responded with a trick that made no sense at all. To scare the smoke away, we’d say, “I hate rabbits.”

There we’d be, munching stacks of s’mores and saying, “I hate rabbits, I hate rabbits, I hate rabbits.” Don’t ask me why; I don’t know! I don’t know why it had to be rabbits, but I’m telling you, just like that, the smoke would blow in a different direction. Well - every once in a while . . . one time. One time I think it worked . . . or so we thought.

Some years later I was riding my bike alone, and that phrase from the campfire came back to me. I could see some construction workers filling potholes in the side of the road, and I could tell they were all men. Without even thinking about it, I gripped my handlebars, tucked my chin down, and pedaled so fast. I just wanted to get by them as quickly as possible.

It wasn’t until I was way down the road that I relaxed enough to realize that the whole time I was riding past them I was saying that phrase from the campfire . . . except instead of saying, “I hate rabbits,” I replaced a word. I was muttering, “I hate men, I hate men, I hate men,” just so they wouldn’t look at me.

A few days after that bike riding incident, while I was still reeling with all kinds of negative thoughts and emotions, I happened to be getting together with a friend for lunch. Actually, you probably know her. If you listen to Revive Our Hearts, you know Dannah Gresh, right? Well, she and I live in the same town, and we’ve been friends for years. We were meeting up at our favorite Italian restaurant.

We found a table, placed our orders, prayed together, and then she looked up and said, “Okay, what’s wrong?” I guess I must have looked as miserable as I felt.

I honestly hadn’t planned on getting into things, so I said, “Well, something happened this week, and I’ve been out of sorts ever since.”

Of course she asked what happened, and I think I said something like, “Dannah, I hate rabbits! I mean, I hate men. I mean, this is complicated.”

I shared the story with her, the same story that I just shared with you, and I came around to this, that I didn’t really hate all men. I mean, the men who were closest to me are the best people on the planet—my dear dad, my husband, my father-in-law, pastors, teachers. But, to be honest with you, I had been hurt by a couple of selfish men, and I had never really gotten over it. I never told anyone, I never received the proper healing for it, so over time, the effect of that abuse had grown, until it was like this big, gaping wound, like a pit in my heart.

When abuse is not brought into the light and healed, it can wreak havoc on a woman. You may know what I mean. You’re going along in life until bam! something evokes an emotional or a physical reaction that is totally out of proportion with what’s happening in the moment.

I told my friend that I was such an emotional wreck because I was afraid that I’d feel this undercurrent of resentment and rage forever. I was afraid I’d ruin my marriage and ruin my kids, especially my sons. I was afraid I’d never really be able to have healthy relationships with men because I’d always feel this sense of distrust.

You know what? She leaned over to me and said something that impacted me so deeply. She said, “You don’t have to feel this way forever.”

I don’t know why that had never dawned on me. I guess I had lived with it for so long, it just felt like part of my personality. But God used those circumstances to launch me into a journey of healing that has changed my life.

Dannah: That’s my friend, Laura Booz, sharing a difficult part of her past. I'm so proud of her.  I remember so well her journey of healing. It was a hard journey for Laura. But her courage in facing the past was such an encouragement to my heart. She’ll share more of her story soon, so stick around.

But first, I want to listen to a portion of a drama from True Woman '18. It was a modernized rendition of the Woman at the Well from John chapter 4. You remember that story, don’t you? It’s the story where Jesus meets the Samaritan woman. She was a woman with a hard past, and it was scandalous that Jesus took the time to talk with her. 

Jim and Carol Shores are acting the parts of Millie and her boyfriend, Lee. Now, Millie is kind of a modern version of what the Samaritan Woman might look like today. Here’s Millie telling Lee what happens when she shows up at the well, when other women are there.

Millie: Well, what happened was, I went to the well same as always—at high noon—and the heat was so bad today it’s just rollin’ off the road in waves! So I get me as far as Halifax Hardware, and I just have to stop to rest! And so I’m standin’ underneath the awnin.’ My dress just stickin’ to me in the heat, so I’m pluckin’ at the material. I’m squintin’ down the road to make sure all the other women was gone from the well.

Lee: How come you do that? You got just as much a right to that well as they do!

Millie: You don’t know what they do! The talk about me as I come. I can see them eyein’ me as I come down the road, leanin’ over to each other, make their remarks. And soon as I reach the well, whup! Suddenly it’s time to go!

They pick up their jugs and their pitchers, and they make their way around me, callin’ across to each other in their sweet voices about the upcomin’ social, or whatever, just as if I wasn’t there at all! I prefer to wait until after they’ve gone, to go to the well.

Lee: So how come you hadn’t told me about that?

Millie: Because I’s afraid you’d just go down there and make matters worse! Anyway, I’m, I’m standin’ underneath the awnin’ of Halifax Hardware, and my mouth is just as dry as a bone! I’m just wishin’ I had enough money to leave this town. Or, or at least just enough to, you know, pay somebody to go to the well for me while this drought lasts and the pipes are dry.

So I’m leanin’ over and I’m wipin’ the sweat off of my face with the hem of my dress when I hear the screen door slam, and I look up. There’s Mr. Halifax standin’ there, just twirlin’ that toothpick he always has—just twirlin’ that over his lip. He’s lookin’ me up and down, and he says, “Mighty hot today, ain’t it Millie?”

I said, “Yes sir, it is. Mighty hot!” And he looks down at my jug, and he says, “We-l-l-l, you goin’ to the well awful late, ain’t ya?” And I don’t say nuthin’. . . and I don’t say nuthin’. . . and the silence gets so big I can’t hardly breathe. Finally, I just said to him, “Well, you know, it’s a mite cooler under this awnin’ here. It’s a nice place to rest for a spell.”

And he looks at me and he says, “Wel-l-l-l, a lot o’ nice people in this town think the same thing. And that’s why I’m gonna have to ask you to move on. Sorry, Millie, you’re bad for business.”

Lee: He what?!!

Millie: No, no, wait! You’re gonna let me get through the whole story, remember? You promised! So I pick up my jug; I start movin’ down the road. I can feel him standin’ there watchin’ me. And then I hear the screen door slam and the sound of another man’s voice, and the murmur of the two of them talkin.’ And then I hear my name and a big burst of laughter whips me like a belt from behind!

But I just keep my eyes on the road, I just keep on walkin’. I lick my lips—there’s nothin’, even a swallow, my mouth is so dry! But I just keep eyes on the road(starts to weep)‘til I’m almost to the well.

And I look up and I see this stranger sittin’ at the well. He’s a plain lookin’ man—in his early thirties, I reckon. He’s got on this cheap suit, but it’s nicely pressed. He’s got his jacket over one arm and his shirt’s all wet from the heat, but you could tell he put it on fresh this mornin’. I mean, he was a gentleman. You could tell that clear off. He was po’, but educated.

And when I reached the well, he gives me this friendly smile, and he takes off his hat to me. And he says, “Ma’am, would you give me a drink?”

I said, “You are asking me for a drink?”

And he looks me square in the eye and he says, “Ma’am, if you knew the gifts that God can give, and if you knew who was askin’ you, ‘Would you give me a drink?’. . . I think you’d be askin’ him, and he’d be givin’ you livin’ water!”

Lee: (skeptically)What?!

Millie:Well, that’s what I said! I said, “Where you gonna get this livin’ water? You didn’t bring anythin’ to draw water with. This well here’s the deepest one around. So, where you gonna get this livin’ water?”

Well, he points over at this well, and he says, “Y’know, folk who drink the water from this well here, they’re gonna be thirsty again real soon! But everyone who drinks of the water I give, they’ll never be thirsty again, because the water I give becomes a natural spring inside of a person, just wellin’ up to eternal life.”

Well, about that point I’m just about ready to drop from thirst, and I just said, “Sir, please just give me some of this water so I won’t be thirsty again! And I won’t have to come to this well no more!”

Well, he said the strangest thing to me! He said, “Go get your husband, and then come back.” Well, that one stopped me!

I mean, I thought about lyin’ to him! I mean, here he’s treatin’ me so kindly and respectful-like. Why tell ’im the truth and have him start treatin’ me like ever’body else?

Lee: What did you say to ’im, Millie?

Millie:Well, I, I don’t know how to explain it, Lee, but I couldn’t fib to this fella! So I told ’im the truth.

Lee: What did you tell ’im?!

Millie: Well, I just remember lookin’ down at my feet with my toes squishin’ in the dirt and I said—real careful-like—“I don’t have a husband.” Well, that is the truth! Well, whatever I expected him to say was not what come out of his mouth!

Cause he said to me, “You’re tellin’ me right you don’t have a husband, because you’ve had five husbands, and the man you’re livin’ with now is not your husband.”

Lee: Well, I’ll be! (laughter)

Millie: Well, you coulda just knocked me over! I mean, how could he know a thing like that? I figured he must be downright holy! (Lee snorts.)No, I even said to him, “Sir, you must be some kind of prophet to know sumpin’ like that!” Well, just knowin’ that I’m standing there in the presence of a genuine holy man who clearly knows I’ve had too many men in my life, it, it just made me very uncomfortable!

I just wanted to get off that subject, so I just started babblin’! I started tellin’ ’im about my great-grandfather. I said, “Y’know, my great-grandfather, he was a circuit rider. Mmm-hmm! He used to just ride from town to town, just tellin’ everybody how important it is to worship God in a church.”

“But nowadays, they’ve been havin’ these tent revivals. They say it’s just fine to worship God in a tent! So what do you think?” Well, he gave me the kindliest look—considerin’ I’d just made a fool out of myself, trying to talk like we had somethin’ in common!

And he said to me, he said, “Y’know, the time is comin’ when it’s not gonna to be a matter of worshiping God in this church or in this tent. The time is comin’—in fact, it’s already here—when true worshipers, they’re gonna be worshipin’ the Father in Spirit and truth.”

And he said, “In fact, those are the kind of folk the Father’s lookin’ for right now, because God is Spirit, and those who worship Him worship Him in spirit and truth.”

Lee: What’s that’s s’posed to mean?

Millie: I wasn’t sure myself . . . but it was somethin’ holy, and I liked it! And, ohh!, I like this man!

Lee: Mmm-hmmm!

Millie: No! Not like that! This is a holy man! I wasn’t sure what he was talkin’ about, but I just wanted to keep the conversation goin’. So I thought back to some of them church lessons I had as a kid and I said to ’im, I said, “Well, you know, I know one day the Messiah’s comin’!” Well, he seemed to perk up a little at that.

He looked at me as if he wanted me to say somethin’ more, as if he weren’t sure what I meant exactly, and so I said, “Well, you know, the Christ! And when he comes, he’s gonna be makin’ all these things you’re sayin’. He’ll make ’em plain to us country folk!” Well, he held my gaze for a moment, and he said to me, “I am the Christ who’s speaking to you now!” (Lee snorts.)

No, no, I know what you’re gonna say! I know what you’re thinkin’: “He’s just another nut!” Right? But no! He told me everything that I’ve ever done. He gave me just a touch o’ his holiness. ‘Cause just standin’ there, talkin’ to him, I just wanted to be better than I was so bad!

Here, he knows who I am in this town, and still he treats me with such dignity, with such respect, that for the first time in I don’t know how long, I actually felt like I was worth somethin’!

Lee: What are you talkin’ about!? I mean, I am always tellin’ you, you got the prettiest figure of any woman in this whole town!

Millie:No-o-o! Not like that! I mean in here! I felt like I was worth somethin’ in here, and it felt so good! Well, then all his friends showed up with their sacks of food from H. B.’s,and they looked at me . . . and they looked at him . . . and I know what they wanted to say. They wanted to say, “What are you doin’ here? What are you doin’ here talkin’ to him?” But they didn’t because he was treatin’ me with such respect

But I knew it was time to go, so I kind of was pickin’ up my jug to go. But then I turned to him and I just said, “Thank you for all your kind words, and good day to ya now.” And do you know what he said to me?

Lee: No, what?

Millie: He said, “Good day to you, Miss Millicent!” Miss Millicent!

Lee: What’s that?

Millie: That is my true name is what it is! That’s the name I was born with, and nobody’s ever called me it since! Well, I just gave him my biggest grin, and I just took off down that road! I’m tellin’ everybody I saw, I didn’t care who it was! I said, “Come! See this man who’s told me everything I’ve ever done! Couldn’t he be the Messiah?!”

And I’m tellin’ ya, they’re turnin’ ’round in the roads, they’re comin’ out of the stores, and . . . Maybe it was the look on my face! I caught a glimpse of myself in a store winda. It took me a minute to even recognize myself!”

Hey, Lee . . . Lee, look out the winda. Look at all these people! All these folk are goin’ down the road! They are goin’ to the well! They’re gonna see for themselves who this man is!

Lee: Yeah? Well, maybe I’ll go, too.

Millie:Yeah?

Lee: Yeah, maybe I’ll go see this kindly, respectful fella. Yeah, maybe he’ll tell me all I ever did. Or maybe he’ll tell me what you’re doin’ while I’m out there talkin’ to ’im! What you got behind your back, Millie?

Millie: Nothin’. It’s nothin’!

Lee: I guess you didn’t have no trouble lyin’ to me!

Millie: I’s a packin’!

Lee: Again? Here, we didn’t even have a fight!

Millie: I’m not lookin’ to start one, neither!

Lee: Don’t worry. I ain’t gonna touch you. I ain’t even gonna get mad. No siree. I can do this “kindly, respectful” doodad stuff you so all fired up about, yessir. So why don’t you keep on packin’—whyn’t you keep on packin’ while you still all excited, because you wanna know what?

After you’ve been out there a coupla of days—no money and his friends just real happy to have you taggin’ along—he’’ll get tired of you, sweetheart (he laughs) . . .because I’m the only one that can put up with you! I’m the only one who has ever loved you, and that’s why you’ll come back! That’s why you always come back! I’ll see you in a while Millie!

Dannah: Jim and Carol Shores from the group, Acts of Renewal, helping us imagine what it might have been like for the Samaritan woman the day she met Jesus. Of course, this was a modern rendition of that. They performed this at the most recent True Woman conference, and it struck a chord with women who have suffered various abuses. 

No matter what you have been through, Jesus wants to help you through the pain and rediscover life on the other side of your healing.

Remember my friend, Laura Booz, sharing her story from earlier? I want you to hear how God worked in her life, and I want you to hear what she needed to do once God started that process of healing. Here’s Laura:

Laura: I needed to confide in trustworthy friends who would pray with me and remind me of the truth of Psalm 103, which says, “The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed.”

Evil deeds that are done in the dark He brings to light. Justice is important to Him, and the brokenhearted are important to Him. The Bible promises that God heals the brokenhearted, and He helps us to get up and walk in faith, forgiveness, and wisdom.

The other thing I needed to address was how I viewed myself as a woman. The abuse had confused me, and I was looking for clarity. But I found only one reliable source of insight on identity and relationships, and it was the Bible. As I searched the Scriptures, I saw for myself how very precious women are to God. He creates each one of us on purpose. He breathes life into us and calls us to glorify Him in a distinctly personal and feminine way.

I also had to learn how to view men through God’s eyes. Men are precious to God, too. God creates each man on purpose, breathes life into Him, and calls each man to glorify Him in a distinctly personal and masculine way. The Holy Spirit will teach a man how to cherish and honor women. And when they don’t, and when they’re not, the same God who convicts, forgives, and helps me in my sin does the same for them.

More than anything, I just needed to see where Jesus was in all of it, and I’m going to be honest with you that that took time. But He is so faithful, so patient and kind. He’s our Wonderful Counselor, Comforter, Keeper, and He never fails us.

It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t quick, but it was worth it. Sometimes I’m still triggered by things, but when I am, I know what to do now. And I don’t just shut down, I don’t just sit in my pit, instead I turn to Jesus. 

Maybe you’re like I was, living with a gaping wound that just keeps hurting. Remember, that feeling is an indication that God can revive an important area of your life. Let those triggers point you to Jesus, who will fill you up with the truth and heal you. One day, sooner than you may imagine, you’ll be able to join me and the Psalmist in saying, “Bless the Lord, O my soul, who forgives all your iniquity, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with you good so that your youth is renewed like the eagles."

Dannah: I am so thankful to see what God has done in Laura’s life. It truly is a miracle that only God could do. We serve a mighty God. Amen?

Friend, if you’ve been abused, first let me say I’m sorry, that is a deep pain. But take it to God. A place you can also start is: talk to a trusted friend, seek out a trusted Christian counselor. But whatever you do, lean into God. 

One of the joys of my life was having a front row seat to see Laura's healing unfold. That friend that you are worried about burdening, that Christian counselor that you think won't have room in her schedule, you're about to give them one of the greatest gifts of their lives. Call them. Text them, right now. Let them help you lean into God.

As you work through this healing journey can I suggest something? Think about strengthening your idea of womanhood and who God created you to be, that’s one thing that Laura Booz needed to do. You see, when we are not treated as women with the worth God designed into us, it can skew our understanding of who we are in Christ. God wants to fix that in your heart.

The True Woman Manifesto and companion study guide would be an excellent place to start. We have that resource here at Revive Our Hearts, and that resource is yours for the gift of any amount. Also, as you work through this, consider joining us for True Woman '22, the conference where women come from all over the world to study and be refreshed by what God has to say about womanhood. 

To register for the conference or to give a gift call today 1-800-569-5959, or go to ReviveOurHearts.com/weekend and click on today’s episode. It’s called "God’s Healing for Women." And make sure to request your copy of the True Woman Manifesto and companion study guide when you give a gift of any amount.

Next week, we’re gonna tackle the topic of soul care. Those two words probably prompt some thoughts and ideas in your head. It’s a sticky issue with all kinds of ideas about what it means. I won’t have all the answers, but we’ll spend time looking at it from what God says we need.

Thanks for listening today. Thanks to our team: Phil Krause, Dylan Weibel, Rebekah Krause, Justin Converse, Michelle Hill, and for Revive Our Hearts Weekend, I’m Dannah Gresh

Revive Our Hearts is calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

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