Honoring Our Pastors

This episode contains portions from the following programs:

"Encouraging Your Pastor"

"There's a Pastor Crisis. You're the Solution"

"How to Listen to a Sermon"

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Dannah Gresh: This is Revive Our Hearts Weekend. I’m your host, Dannah Gresh.

Here’s the deal. If you’re listening to me right now, it’s likely that at some point in your weekend you will go to church. Maybe you already have. Maybe you’re about to. I hope you’re not listening to this while you’re at church. 🙂

And your church is led by a pastor or a group of pastors. In fact, here’s a little foreign language lesson for you. Did you know that in Spanish, the word for “pastor” and the word for “shepherd” are the same word? That’s right. “Pastor,” and I’m not very good at rolling my "r."

A pastor is a shepherd. Which makes you and me what? Exactly! We’re sheep. Rebekah, can you throw in a sound effect? 

[Baaa]

Dannah: Great, thanks!

So, here’s the deal. Last year I got my first sheep. He’s a black half teddy bear sheep. Look that up, you’ll thank me. They’re cute. Anyway, taking care of Carl Epley is my first stab at shepherding actual sheep. And, well, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not a compliment that God calls us sheep. Carly Epley—he’s just not as bright as the goats or the mini-donkey or the horses, and maybe not even the peacock! For example, Farmer Bob came home one day to find him stuck halfway out of the fence. Mind you, all he had to do was back up to get free, but . . . well, he’s a sheep. No telling how long he was there. My point is this: taking care of sheep can be hard work. We’re going to consider that as we prepare our hearts to encourage shepherds. 

Today on Revive Our Hearts Weekend, we’re going to hear from a pastor . . .

Pastor Bill Hogan: Pray for me personally in terms of my spiritual walk, strength to overcome temptation, consistency.

Dannah: . . . a pastor’s wife . . .

Jani Ortlund: Pray for their marriage. Pray that that pastor's wife stays wildly in love with your pastor. Pray that God protects their marriage from outside attacks from Satan.

Dannah: . . . and a sheep who loves her pastors.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Try to make eye contact with the pastor. I mean I try to look him in the face, look him in the eyes. Preaching is a conversation between the pastor and the people and the Lord. So engage visually.

Dannah: Why are we focusing on this? Because October is Pastor Appreciation Month, and this year Pastor Appreciation Day falls on this weekend, Sunday, October 8.

Let’s start by pulling a conversation from the vault. 

[Huge door creaks open]

Dannah: Look at you, Rebekah! Okay, you can turn off the overdone reverb. 

So about two decades ago, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth sat down with her pastor, Bill Hogan, to ask him how we can be an encouragement to our pastors. 

Nancy’s known this man since she was in junior high school. And— fun fact!—he officiated in the wedding of Nancy DeMoss and Robert Wolgemuth. 

But years before that wedding, Nancy recorded this conversation with Pastor Bill Hogan.

Nancy: I want you to help us, just from a pastor's perspective, understand what are some of our responsibilities as followers? Scripture has a lot to say about this but just teach us a little bit about how we are to relate to those who are in positions of spiritual leadership in our churches.

Pastor Hogan: Well, the Bible talks about following their example. It talks about obeying them, although I think there are some neurotic pastors who carry that further than I think is proper. But there is a place for submission to teaching and obedience to the Word as it comes to us through God's appointed authoritative people.

And then, the Bible says we should pray for those who lead us. That's important, not only for the well-being of the person for whom we are praying, it's important, I think, for the well-being of the whole church that God's blessing be upon that person.

Nancy: I want to ask you as a pastor, how would you want people to pray for you?

Pastor Hogan: The most obvious thing that comes to mind is to pray that God would bless my ministry, my study of the Word and the preaching of that Word so that it becomes the vehicle of God's blessing to the church.

And then to pray for me personally in terms of my spiritual walk, strength to overcome temptation, consistency, all of those attributes are important for spiritual leadership and for my home and my marriage.

I remember one lady back at our church in Philadelphia, who said one day, "A lot of people pray for you, but I want to commit myself to pray by name every day for your children."

Nancy: What a gift!

Pastor Hogan: Yeah, a wonderful gift.

Nancy: Well, speaking of encouragement, are there two or three other things that people can do to encourage their pastors? As you think back to how people encouraged you as a pastor, how can we encourage our pastors?

Pastor Hogan: Well, you can write notes to them. My secretary in Philadelphia used to collect all these notes and letters that came and put them in what she called the "upper file." I still have them and just a few months ago I was looking at them again.

They were not only encouraging at the time they came, but they were encouraging a few months ago when I read them all over again.

These were people who would just write in and the most encouraging ones were the people who said, "Here is a specific way something you said has impacted my life." So, that's very encouraging.

And I think also, there was a time in my life when the generosity of people and their sensitivity in meeting material needs was very encouraging.

Nancy: You know, as you share those illustrations, a number of scriptures come to mind. But, let me just mention two, Galatians 6:6 and then also in 1 Corinthians 9, we are told that we are to minister to the material needs, the financial needs, the physical needs of those who minister the Word of God to us.

I want to say to our listeners: You may just want to send a check to your pastor and his wife to say, on their anniversary or other special time of the year, "Go out to dinner and have a date."

There may be ways that you can minister outside of even the salary that the church pays him but make sure that their material needs are being provided for.

And then that passage in 1 Thessalonians 5[:11-12] where Paul says that we are to respect those who labor among us and who are over us in the Lord and who admonish us. And we are to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake.

And, Bill, as I am listening to you, I want to say again, how highly I esteem you in love for your work's sake. And, though it has been many years, I am still reaping the goodness of God in my life as the result of seeds that you planted 20 and 30 years ago.

So, I do esteem you highly and I want to say to our listeners that I hope you're not a critic of your pastor but that you are encouraging him, praying for him.

Listen, if he's not a great pastor, it may be because there aren't enough people praying for him. And you have no idea what kind of man of God He may make out of that pastor if you will follow God's direction for your life in terms of esteeming him, listening to his teaching, praying for him, believing God by faith to make him the man of God that your congregation needs to lead and to feed the flock.

Dannah: Great reminders, here on Pastor Appreciation Weekend. 

It’s probably a good idea for me to acknowledge what might seem like an elephant in the room to you. And that’s this. You might be thinking, What about a woman pastor? Nancy keeps referring to pastors as he and him. 

That’s a great question! So we’re going to say this here. We understand that some will disagree with this statement, but it’s the position of Nancy and Revive Our Hearts that the Bible reserves the office of pastor and elder for men only. We’re not going to get into the weeds of “why” on this program. But that’s where we’re coming from here at Revive Our Hearts. I do think we can all agree that honoring our pastors is something God calls us to do.

Now. I want you to hear from a pastor’s wife. Jani Ortlund is married to Ray Ortlund, who served as a pastor for more than forty years. She’s the author of a book for pastors’ wives called Help! I’m Married to My Pastor.

Welcome to Revive Our Hearts Weekend, Jani!

Jani: Oh Dannah, thank you so much for the privilege of being with you. It is amazing what you already helped us with this.

Dannah: Yes, we are off to a good start. I’ve got to play the devil's advocate for just a second. I’m one of those people who's not very thrilled about what I call “Hallmark holidays,” where you just feel obligated to buy a card. I kind of consider Valentine's Day one of those. Is Pastors’ Appreciation Month just one of those? Or is there really a need for it? Why does it matter, Jani?

Jani: There really is a need for it Dannah. And the reason it matters is because our souls are of eternal significance. And the one who is given the duty and the privilege to nurture the souls of the saints is the pastor, the shepherd, the leader. So, this is not Hallmark at all. This is the Bible.

Dannah: Yeah, good stuff. Well, can you tell us about a time as a pastor's wife that you felt utterly discouraged, but someone in your congregation came alongside you and just breathed hope, perspective, and life into you? Take us to that time.

Jani: Oh my. Which time would you like? How long do we have? an hour two for me? I've been so blessed by women around me who have encouraged me in times of hardship. I think of one particular time is the fall of 2007. There were some people who were not being honest about my husband. He was reading slander about himself that had a very negative effect on our ministry. I was at my end. I was trying to encourage my husband, keep our children notified about what was the latest news. I had lost my appetite. Dannah, I know some women might think that would be a blessing. But for me, it was not a blessing. I was just struggling with nausea all the time, so I couldn't eat. 

My dear friend who had helped us plant our church, she saw how I was struggling. She would text me, call me every once in a while. I remember one time she just picked me up. She said, “I'm coming over; we're going for a ride.” And she drove me to Sonic. Do you have some Sonics in your neck of the woods?

Dannah: No, we don't, but I wish we did! 

Jani: Well, it’s a wonderful fast-food place. She ordered me this huge chocolate milkshake because she knows I'm a sucker for chocolate milkshakes. And she said, “Jani, we're going to stay here for you to drink the whole thing. You've just got to get some weight on your bones, because you're not going to be able to help your husband and your family, and ultimately, your church if you don't take care of yourself. She helped me take care of myself. That's what I needed.

Dannah: That’s beautiful. I love that. It's a sacrifice of time. Sometimes we want to take the easy road out. We just want to give a gift card or card. But sometimes we need to get in the trenches with these pastors and their wives and their families and roll up our sleeves and drive to Sonic and buy a chocolate milkshake. Jani, give us some tips and ideas on things that we should be doing this month to encourage our pastors and their wives.

Jani: Well, one thing, use specific words to thank your pastor. After he has preached, he always loves to hear, “Oh, great sermon, thank you so much. But it means even more if you said, “When you said that, it really ministered to my heart.” That phrase you used and then give him the phrase so that he knows you listened, “It helped me in this way.” The more specific you can be, the deeper it will sink in that oh, that person was listening, and God's Spirit used my little effort to help them. So, use specific language.

Dannah: What else?

Jani: Pray for him, pray for his family, pray for his wife, pray for His children. There are so many things that he needs that you can pray for specifically. Yeah. Could I list a few Dannah? Do we have time?

Dannah: I would love it. If you could give us some tips on how we specifically should pray for our pastors that would be great.

Jani: Well, pray for their marriage. Pray that that pastor's wife will be wildly in love with your pastor. Pray that God protects their marriage from outside attacks from Satan. Pray that their marriage can be an example to their children, so that their children don't resent ministry, because of what it takes from their parent’s marriage. 

Pray that their marriage can be an example to the congregants, to the sheep, so that they have in their midst a visual of a man loving his wife and a wife loving her husband. Pray for their marriage. 

Pray for their children. It's not easy to raise children in the public eye. Pray that their kids will love the Lord, individually, that they will find Him beautiful to their own souls not just because of their parents, but individually. 

Where is that verse in Psalms, it's towards the end . . . I think it might be around 122 where it says, “I was glad when they said unto me, let us go into the house of the Lord.” Pray that that's how those kids feel. 

Dannah: Yeah, amen. 

Jani: Not that we’ve got to go to church because that's where my dad works and I don't really want. But pray their parents would help them and the Holy Spirit would indeed help them be happy to go to church and be happy to be the child of a pastor. 

Dannah: That's right. My husband's not a pastor, but we have been leaders in ministry for a long time. I feel like sometimes people are afraid to approach the pastor's kids or the leader’s kids, to minister and reach out to them and pray with them the way they would for every other kid in the church. Don't overlook our kids! Go invest in their hearts, invest in their lives. They need that support as much as everybody else in the church. 

Jani, what are your last words of encouragement for us as we enter into this month of encouraging pastors and their wives?

Jani: My last word is, thank you. Your pastor's wife and your pastor are so grateful that they have people who are looking to them for spiritual leadership. You are helping them fulfill their calling from God. So my word is thank you for loving your pastor. It makes everything better.

Dannah: Wow, what a good word from Jani Ortlund. Thanks for being with us on Revive Our Hearts Weekend, Jani.

Jani: Thanks for having me, Dannah.

Dannah: Jani’s book is called Help! I'm married to My Pastor. I think it would be a great gift for your pastor's wife this month during Pastors’ Appreciation Month. The subtitle is Encouragement for Ministry Wives and Those Who Love Them. Get yourself a copy, wrap it up, put a pretty bow on it, and then drive your pastor's wife to Sonic when you give it to her and buy her chocolate milkshake. We have more information about the book at ReviveOurHearts.com/weekend, and select today’s program. It’s called “Honoring Our Pastors.”

You know, a big part of what your pastor does is preaching. That’s not all he does, but he wouldn’t be a pastor if he couldn’t preach the Word. Here’s Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, coaching us on how to encourage our pastors (and our own souls) by the way we listen to the sermon.

Nancy: As you listen to the preaching and reading of the Word, be attentive. Remember that you’re not coming to hear a pastor’s sermon. Ultimately, you’re coming to hear from God. Listen attentively.

Remember in 1 Samuel 3 when God called out to Samuel in the middle of the night. The Lord came and stood and called as at other times, “Samuel! Samuel! And Samuel said, ‘Speak, for your servant is listening’” (v. 10 paraphrased). That’s attentive; standing at attention, listening, ready to hear. Listening attentively.

Something that will help you, at least it helps me to listen attentively, is where you can (now sometimes if you’re in a huge church you can’t do this) try to make eye contact with the pastor. I mean I try to look him in the face, look him in the eyes. I express agreement and affirmation with my eyes and with my face.

Now that helps the pastor if he sees that. You ask how I know that. I’m not a pastor, but I’ve taught the Word for so many years I know the value of what I call “yes faces” in the audience, people that you look at them and you can tell they’re listening.

I mean, when you have a conversation with someone, if they’re just standing there stone-faced and they’re not moving you wonder, Are they hearing anything I’m saying? Are they agreeing with it? Do they care? I mean when you have a conversation with someone you engage visually, facially, with your eyes. Preaching is a conversation between the pastor and the people and the Lord. So engage visually.

Not only does it help the person who’s preaching the Word, it helps you. It helps you stay alert. It helps you stay tuned. It helps you stay focused to listen attentively.

I picked up a book as I was getting ready to come to the recording session this morning, a classic book on revival by Brian Edwards. He describes some of the characteristics of revival. He talks about how in times of revival people are so attentive to the Word of God; they listen attentively.

He quotes Robert Murray M'Cheyne, who was a great preacher during the 1800s. M'Cheyne is talking about how the people were so attentive to the Word of God. He says, “I’ve observed at such times an awful and breathless stillness pervading the assembly, each hearer bent forward in the posture of rapt attention”4 Can you just see that picture? People eager—not fidgeting, not restless; but eager, listening to the Word of God.

Jesus said in Luke 8, “Consider carefully how you listen” (v. 18 NIV). The New King James says, “Take heed how you hear.” Take care how you listen. Listen attentively. Listen carefully.

Then, listen humbly. Listen humbly to the preaching of the Word. This is so important. Don’t sit there thinking, I already know this. I’ve heard this. Then you tune it out. Ask the Lord to make it fresh to you. If your heart is humble, you will not be sitting there evaluating the message or how it’s delivered. You will let the message evaluate you. Big difference.

Sometimes we’re so busy critiquing the way the Word is proclaimed that we fail to evaluate the way that we’re listening and responding to the message. Could I particularly say to those of you who are moms, you have children. I just want to caution you earnestly about if they ever, ever, ever letting your children hear you critique the preaching of the Word of God. I think that is a huge mistake.

You want your children to grow up and be bored with preaching or critical of messages? Then model that to them. If you want them to grow up loving the Word of God and listening attentively and drawing from God’s Word no matter how ineloquent the preaching may be, then model this attentive, humble heart. What is God saying to me through this message? Humble listening to the Word of God.

James 1 says, “Receive with meekness, [humbly accept] the Word which is able to save your souls” (v. 21). Listen humbly.

And then number seven, take notes on the message. Again, that’s not a biblical absolute, but I think it’s a good suggestion. Jot down things that the Lord points out to you that He speaks to you about. Highlight points that the Spirit is applying to your heart and your life.

If you’ve asked Him to speak to you, assume that He is speaking to you. When He puts something on your heart that you need to deal with or you need to respond to or something you want to study further, jot it down. Then take those notes home and you can review them later and work through them.

And then finally here, don’t make your pastor a prisoner of unrealistic expectations. It’s a challenge today to be a pastor because these pastors in some of our little churches, small towns, even some of our bigger churches, they’re being inevitably compared to these spell-binding communicators on Christian radio and Christian TV. Most communicators are not national TV and radio ministers.

Your pastor does not have to be a mesmerizing communicator to be an effective man of God. You shouldn’t expect him to have to be. He shouldn’t have to be entertaining or dramatic or tell a lot of stories. You just want a man who’s a man of God who is humble, who loves the Word of God, who will open the Word of God and will make its meaning plain.

Dannah: That’s Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth from Revive Our Hearts, coaching us on how to do a better job listening to our pastors and praying for them. 

Nancy wrote a booklet titled Let’s Go to Church. It includes the concepts we just heard, and a lot more. Here on this weekend when we’re celebrating Pastor Appreciation Day, we’d love to send you a copy. It’s our way of saying "thank you" for your donation of any amount.

So contact us with your gift, and when you do, you’ll be able to request this guide by Nancy called Let’s Go to Church. Here’s a secret: you don’t have to wait until next Pastor Appreciation Day to honor and encourage your spiritual leaders!

To make a donation, visit ReviveOurHearts.com/weekend, and click or tap where you see today’s episode called “Honoring Our Pastors.” If that’s too complicated, just call 1-800-569-5959. Be sure to ask about Nancy’s booklet on getting more out of church. 

Coming up this week on Revive Our Hearts, Nancy continues looking at the church that Jesus said made Him feel sick. She’ll show us the cure for lukewarmness. 

Then, next weekend on this program, we’ll look at the opposite of that. Instead of being lukewarm, we need to be HOT—fervent and passionate in our love for the Lord. We’ll hear from Leslie Bennett on how we can unleash the power of fervent prayer in our lives, and Dr. Henry Blackaby will share about the vital importance of keeping our devotional life hot, as well. 

I hope you’ll join us for that. Thanks for listening today. I’m Dannah Gresh. We’ll see you next time for Revive Our Hearts Weekend.

Revive Our Hearts Weekend wants you to honor your spiritual leaders and discover freedom, fullness and fruitfulness in Christ.

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