Jesus’ Love Changes Everything

Today's episode contains portions from the following episodes:

"An Encounter with God"

"Song of Solomon, Day 13"

"How Jesus Prays for Us"

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Dannah Gresh: Have you ever felt unlovable? Not just unloved, but unlovable? Not a great feeling, is it? Maybe you feel that way now. 

I know something about this. For many years of my adult life, I just kind of felt like I didn’t belong. It didn’t matter where I was, I kind of had this thought in the back of my mind that the whole space would be better if I weren’t there—that a party or a small group Bible study or even one of my own ministry events would be better without me. That was an emotion I brought into so much of my life. I wasn’t aware that what I was really experiencing was feeling unlovable. Well, today I’ll tell you how God set me free, and I started showing up in life!

We’re also gonna hear from someone else who knows what it means to feel completely unlovable. But she was sure was far more aware.

Dorie VanStone: She said, "Kids, I want to tell you something. God loves you." I'm sitting in the back and you know what I did? I yelled out, "That's a lie."

Dannah: We’ll hear more from the late Dorie VanStone, and Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth will remind us of how God views us. 

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: We know that in and of ourselves, we are not beautiful. We are not fair. We are not lovely. There are spots in us. But Jesus sees us through eyes of love and what He is making us into.

Dannah: And Kristen Wetherell will show us how that love of Jesus can transform even our most mundane tasks.

Kristen Wetherell: Moms do a lot of dirty work, right? I’m thinking about everything from the kitchen and the food-strewn floors that we’re cleaning up every day to the laundry that we’re doing. It makes me think about the love that the Son of God has for us. Love so much that He would enter into our mess, and not only our mess here, but the abyss of the wrath of God on the cross, bearing the sins of all of us so that we could be free of it! All for love.

Dannah: Today we’re looking at the amazing difference the love of Jesus makes, in your life. It sure has in mine!

Welcome to Revive Our Hearts Weekend, I’m Dannah Gresh. So glad you’ve joined me today!

It’s no secret that we all have an innate need to be loved. In fact, in a recent post from Psychology Today, Dr. Raj Raghunathan calls the need to be loved “one of our most basic and fundamental needs.” He said, “Findings show that babies who are deprived of contact comfort, particularly during the first six months after they are born, grow up to be psychologically damaged.”

Isn’t it interesting? Over and over in the Bible, God tells us He loves us—about 300 times, theologians say. He knows we need to hear it! The best-known verse in the Bible, John 3:16, starts with the words, “God so loved . . .”

Well, when Dorie VanStone was a girl, she had never heard that. Instead, she grew up in an orphanage . . . where she was beaten every night. As a result of this abuse, her heart became hard, and—not surprisingly—she began acting out.

But, then God! Oh, I love a sentence that starts that way. How about if you hear about Dorie’s encounter with Him from her!

Dorie: One day they decided they were going to have a religious service.

I stood by the door while they brought folding chairs in, and the whole room filled up with kids. The door opened at the side. The front row was empty and a group of college young people from the University of California, all girls, came flying in. Well, I say flying. When I was young, it was just fast walking. When you get older, fast walking is flying!

When they sat down, I saw they were beautiful. I thought, I hate them, every one of them. I'm at the back. And from the back of their heads, they were cute.

I thought that they were too cute to live. Die! I'm thinking, I don't want to hear this. And I started to get out because I was right by the door. A young girl stood up and she looked around at all the kids. She said, "Kids, I want to tell you something. God loves you."

I'm sitting in the back and you know what I did? I yelled out, "That's a lie."

The kids looked at me like, Oh brother, there she goes again.

One by one, all those young women stood up and told the difference that happened when they invited Christ into their lives. They asked Him to forgive them for all their sins and they became a child of God.

I thought, That's for the birds. I don't believe it. I don't believe it for one moment. That's for regular kids with moms and dads, but not for kids that live in an orphanage. I don't buy it, not for a minute.

When it was over, the young women had us sing a hymn. Do you know that never, ever in my life had I heard a hymn? After they sung the hymn, she asked everyone to do something that I never witnessed before.

Now, I've got to tell you this before I say this part. Miss Gabriel would always say something to us. If you didn't feel good when you got up in the morning, you had a sore throat or tummy ache and said, "Miss Gabriel, I don't feel good," she would look at you and point that great big, bony finger and say, "That's God punishing you!"

Now that is the only time we ever heard about God. He punished you. That's when you got sick.

When they finished the song, the young woman looked up and this is what she said, "Will all of you children please bow your heads?" Now, I don't cooperate with anybody, so I just folded my arms, leaned out in the aisle and shook my head no.

Heads went down and she said, "Children, will you bow your heads?" I folded my arms again, where she couldn't miss me and shook my head no. All the heads were down and I thought, Okay, I'll bow my head. Now this truly happened.

Then she said, "God."

I thought everyone was going to get sick and start throwing up.

Then her voice lowered and she said, "Father."

She talked to Him like he was her best, best friend. I was impressed. I thought, Wow! Those young people got up and walked out the door. As the young women all walked out, the last girl hesitated at the door just for a moment and looked up like she heard a voice.

Slowly, she walked back. She stood right in the middle of the room and looked at all the children and said something I had never heard before. She said, "Kids, if you forget everything else that was said, would you just remember this one thing? God loves you. He really does. He loves you."

She turned around and walked out and when she walked out, all of a sudden, I bowed my head voluntarily. My eyes were opened and I yelled out, "God!"

Every child in there heard it. I said, "God, those kids said You loved me. Nobody loves me, but they say You do so if you do and you want me, you can have me!"

We were excused and went up to the dormitories and as we were getting undressed, I remember they were all quiet. So was I.

They went into their little cots and I got into my cot that I had been laying in just short of six years. When my head hit that pillow, all of a sudden it came over me.

God loves me! He loves me! Now, guys, you won't understand this; but when we are touched deep in our emotions and we don't have the words, what do we do? Cry!

I was crying. Miss Gabriel came by, and she pulled those covers off. She waylaid me. She walked away and I pulled the blanket up and I thought, I don't care, lady, if you hit me a thousand times. I heard something tonight—that God loves me.

As I go on with this story, there's something you have to basically understand. I was thirteen years of age the night I accepted Christ as my Savior. I have said this so many times; but men and women, it is the truth.

You can be really old by the time you're thirteen. People pass you by and look at you and say, "Nope, nope, not her. Nope, not that ugly one. Nope, not her."

You begin to think you're the ugliest, meanest kid and person on the face of the earth. I thought, They told me tonight that God loves me. I'm gonna believe it! I'm gonna believe it!

Dannah: And that’s how the life of an abused, hardened young woman began to change. Dorie VanStone shared her fascinating story on Revive Our Hearts some years ago. You can hear a lot more of it when you visit ReviveOurHearts.com/weekend, and click on today’s program. 

Dorie passed away in 2019, but she was used powerfully in the lives of many to tell others: “God loves you!” 

Your battles with feeling loved probably aren’t as dramatic as Dorie’s. Mine sure weren’t. Mine just showed up as an insecurity. Well, I got tired of it! I asked God to help me understand the truth. Then, I told a group of friends when we were on vacation, no less. I got brave and said, “I feel like I don’t belong here . . . with you.” They were so wise. They didn’t say, “Of course you do, Dannah!” They said, “Let’s pray!” We did. At length and all I can say is God’s truth sunk in that night. And I began to live as if I was loved. I haven’t been the same since.

What I’m saying is this: tell someone who loves Jesus how you’re feeling, and ask them to pray with you for His truth. 

You need the Lord in this battle, because it’s super complicated. You see, that feeling that we’re unlovable, there’s a shred of truth in it. Hold on! Hold on! Let me have my friend Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth explain. She’s going to take us to the Old Testament book of the Song of Solomon, which she says is an extended metaphor for the relationship of Jesus, our perfect Bridegroom, with us, His Bride. Here’s Nancy, talking about chapter 4 of the Song of Solomon.

Nancy: We see the truth where the bridegroom says to his bride in verse 7: “You are all fair, my love, and there is no spot in you.”

That’s what you need to hear. That’s what I need to hear. 

Now, we know that in and of ourselves, we are not beautiful. We are not fair. We are not lovely. There are spots in us. But Jesus sees us through eyes of love and what He is making us into, who He is in us and through us, and we’re going to see more about that as we continue in chapter 4.

One writer said it this way in his commentary on the Song of Solomon, “His love to us is a love to the loveless, in order to make us lovely.”

I like that! He takes the unlovable, the unloved, and the loveless, and He pours His love on us and makes us lovely. Just think about what effect it would have on us if we really believed that “Jesus loves me,” even knowing how undeserving and unworthy we are? Don’t you think it would make us joyful, grateful believers? Don’t you think it would motivate us to please and obey the Lord?

I think it would make us not want to allow any competitors to steal our affections. If we really had a sense of how much He loves us, unworthy as we are, wouldn’t we be concerned when we sense coldness or indifference creeping into our relationship with Him? And wouldn’t we want to introduce others to Him? You see, coming to receive the love that Christ has for us is no small deal. It affects every other area of our lives.

And so he said to her at the beginning of this chapter, “You are fair.” Now he says to her, in verse 7, “You are all fair, there is no spot in you.”

It makes you think of that passage in Ephesians 5 that tells us that Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for it. Why? So that He might purify it—no spot—that He might make it a radiant church without spot, wrinkle, blemish, or any such thing, but that we should be a glorious bride for Him (see vv. 26–27).

Jesus is purifying for Himself a Bride. He’s doing it corporately with all true believers who make up the Bride of Christ. But He’s also doing it for us individually and personally as part of that Bride.

Now, I know that process will not be complete until we get to heaven, but He speaks to us now as if the process were already completed. He sees the finished end. He rejoices in what we are positionally in Christ and in the prospect of what we will be when we see Him face to face. And from His eternal vantage point, He looks, and it’s one and all the same. So He can say, “You are all fair, my love, there is no spot in you.”

Now, this bride reflects like a mirror the beauty of her bridegroom, and while she delights in his beauty, he delights and finds joy in seeing his image reflected through her.

And so we come to verse 8 in chapter 4 of the Song of Solomon, where he calls to her and extends another invitation. Remember, the first invitation was, “Arise, come away, my beloved.” Now he says come again, but this time he says, “Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse, with me from Lebanon. Look from the top of Amana, from the top of Senir and Hermon, from the lions’ dens, from the mountains of the leopards.”

Now, what in the world is all that about?

Well, Senir or Shenir, depending on your translation, and Hermon are some of the tallest mountain peaks in all of Israel. They are in northern Israel, and they are more than 9,000 feet high.

He says to her, “Come with me.” We see that he wants her to be with him. He doesn’t want there to be any distance between them. He’s calling her to come with him and look down from Lebanon, which is north of Israel, and to look from the tops of the mountain ranges in Palestine.

Now, we’ve heard about mountains and hills before in this book. Right? The mountains and hills that he said he leaps and skips on them like a deer or a gazelle. He wants her to climb those mountains and hills with him.

We said in the last session that Lebanon represents heavenly places, the high places. It makes me think of Colossians 3 that says: “If you then have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on the earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (vv. 1–3).

This is a call to take our position with Christ in the heavenlies and to look down and see what is taking place on this earth from His exalted perspective.

Now, of course, we’re not going to fully experience that resurrected, ascended life until heaven. But we are called now to consider ourselves positionally to be risen with Christ, ascended with Christ, reigning with Christ, which raises the question: Why do so many Christians spend so much of their lives—myself included—living under the circumstances? What are we doing wallowing around in the muck and mire of this earth when we’ve been seated with Christ in the heavenlies?

“Come with me to the mountaintops.” He calls her to come up to these high places, as we’ve been called to walk with Christ in newness of life, to live with Him in the heavenlies, to reign with Him as one day we will do in fullness.

Dannah: Thank you to Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, from her series on the Song of Solomon, titled “How to Fall and Stay in Love with Jesus.” 

Okay, so the love of Jesus for His Bride, the Church, is sweet and personal and intimate. And marriage is supposed to reflect that truth. I get that. 

But most of the time our relationship with Jesus doesn’t seem like we’re on a glorious honeymoon, does it? In fact, not only does our own sin get in the way, but a lot of us have other people living with us, and all of us rub shoulders with other complicated people. 

Hey, this is a quick rabbit trail, but a cute one. Wanna hear Addie and Zoe, my twin granddaughters? This actually does have to do with what we’re talking about today.

Addie and Zoe:

Jesus loves me this I know;
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong;
They are weak, but He is strong.

Dannah: Isn’t that sweet!? My heart is about to burst! But you and I both know, there are moments when toddlers aren’t quite so adorable, right?

How does the love of Jesus help us in those moments? 

To help answer that question, I’m calling on my friend Kristen Wetherell. She’s the author of a book called Humble Moms: How the Work of Christ Sustains the Work of Motherhood. I spoke with her in the spring of 2022, when her children were ages four and two. 

Kristen suffers from ongoing, chronic pain. That can sure be discouraging, as you can imagine. Let’s listen to a bit of my conversation with Kristen Wetherell.

Dannah: You said a moment ago a phrase. I think you said, “Jesus serves us,” or “Christ serves us.” That’s such a beautiful thought, that in the middle of all this work of serving our children, serving our family, serving cantankerous toddlers when they’re still throwing fits, serving ungrateful teenagers when they don’t understand the sacrifice, that it’s not just us serving; it’s Jesus serving us. How big a deal has that been in your heart and life?

Kristen: It’s been a bigger deal in the last four years than it had been prior to that. So my daughter’s four, and I think coming into a new season of stooping low to serve these little ones in a way that I really hadn’t been required to do before.

It caused me to think first of all, what is God asking me to reflect to my children? How’s He calling me to be a reflection of Himself to them? Which is a high calling, right? We are called to be holy, as He is holy. But then, like we just talked about, when I’m not holy, what does that mean for God continuing to help me and serve me through that?

Jesus doesn’t wait for us to get our acts together. 

He comes, He condescends into a broken world—the world He made out of love. He enters that world in order to rescue His people. If He did that, will He not help me in those moments?

Dannah: So, if I’m a broken mom, He’s at the ready to come and be my Savior and my rescue, right there in that, on that broken day, at that very moment.

Kristen: It’s His delight to do so!

Dannah: He loves us so much!

Kristen: Yes. 

Dannah: Can you tell us another story, maybe, where you really felt the service of Jesus, the humility of Christ, being your remedy for weariness in motherhood?

Kristen: Well, moms do a lot of dirty work, right? I’m thinking about everything from the kitchen and the food-strewn floors that we’re cleaning up every day to the laundry that we’re doing. But I think one of the most humbling things in motherhood is (can we say this on the air?) cleaning up a child’s messes, right?

Dannah: Are we talking diapers here?

Kristen: Well, I’m talking about diapers, but I’m also talking about the other end, because it’s like one of my worst fears, Dannah. 

Dannah: I understand, some of us are afraid of heights, others are afraid of that—upset tummies.

Kristen: Yes. But I mean, that has happened to our family, and it is so stinking humbling! I don’t want to clean that up! That doesn’t negate the fact that it is hard work, right? It’s gross, it’s difficult to do, and yet in that moment, my love for my sweet child is so full. I don’t want them to hurt anymore.

It makes me think about the love that the Son of God has for us. Love so much that He would enter into our mess, and not only our mess here, but the abyss of the wrath of God on the cross, bearing the sins of all of us so that we could be free of it! All for love.

It’s a very small picture of that, but that’s what it makes me think about. So, mom, the next time your child pukes and you’re the one having to clean it up, I pray that that thought might help you a little bit.

Dannah: I love it; that’s beautiful. Kristen, I wonder if you’d pray for a mom who may be feeling some conviction today. I don’t want you moms to feel condemnation if you’re listening today and say, “Man! I think I’m the mom who yells more than obeys!” That’s why you need Jesus today. Today’s your opportunity to push the reset button. 

Would you pray for that mom who’s feeling that to a deep degree right now?

Kristen: Well, Momma, I am that mom, too, I just want you to know that. Every single day I struggle with that thought. Yes, it would be my joy to pray. 

Oh, Lord Jesus, we thank You that You have come so that we might have life, and not just any kind of life or degree of life, but life abundant because we have You! You say that You are the way and the truth and the life.

We thank You, Jesus, that You did not wait for us to clean ourselves up, to be the perfect mom, or mom enough (or whatever the world might call it, or whatever our flesh might want to call it). But You entered into our experience so that we would come to You with all of our need, with all of our mess ups, with all of our sin, even and cast it upon You. We know that You dealt with it once and for all at the cross.

And this is not a one-and-done thing, Lord Jesus. We pray that You will help us to come to You every day again and again, until we see You face to face. Keep us pressing on with Your face in mind and Your “well done” ringing in our ears. We love You, Lord. Amen.

Dannah: Amen! That’s Kristen Wetherell, helping us see how the love of Jesus affects our lives at every level, even in everyday parenting difficulties.

Kristen’s book is called Humble Moms, and you’ll find information about how you can get a copy when you go to ReviveOurHearts.com/weekend and click on today’s episode, titled “Jesus’ Love Changes Everything.” 

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is fond of saying this, and I think we can all identify with it. She says, “Anything that makes me need God is a blessing.” That’s a helpful reminder when we’re in the midst of unpleasant or even difficult situations. And it takes eyes of faith to see it. “Anything that makes me need God is a blessing.” 

Well, that quote is featured on our “donation of any amount” offer this month. It’s a notepad with a magnet on the back so you can stick it to your refrigerator, or your cubicle wall, or anywhere a magnet will stick. Just ask about the inspirational magnetic notepad when you get in touch with us with your donation. 

You can give a gift by calling 1-800-569-5959, or go to ReviveOurHearts.com/weekend and click on today’s episode. 

Next week, we’ll look at “Overcoming Selfishness.” We’ll hear from John Piper and others. I hope you’ll join us for that.

Thanks for listening today. I hope you’ve been reminded that you are loved. God loves you! No matter what else is going on in your life, don’t forget that you are profoundly loved by God.

I’m Dannah Gresh. We’ll see you next time for Revive Our Hearts Weekend.

Revive Our Hearts Weekend is calling you to relish the love of Christ as you discover freedom, fullness and fruitfulness in Him.

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