Motherhood: A Calling to Love

This program contains portions from the following episodes:

"God's Beautiful Design for Women, Day 25"

"A Revival in My House"

"The Double Stroller at a Tech Conference"

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Dannah Gresh: Psst! Hey, Mom! Have you ever felt this way?

Laura Booz: I’ve got baby drool on my shoulder, and I’m just standing there watching these fabulous women sling their slim computer bags over their shoulders and head off to work. There are tears in my eyes, and I kind of want to run away.

Dannah: Ah, the mommy wars! No matter which side of what fence we’re on—career path, school choice, health care—we compare ourselves, don’t we? That was Laura Booz getting honest. And we’ll hear more from her and others, today on Revive Our Hearts Weekend. Welcome, I’m Dannah Gresh. I'm so glad you’re taking some time out of your day to join me here.

With Mother’s Day next weekend, we’re going to talk about adjusting our perspective on what it means to be a mom. 

God’s perspective on parenting is a calling to love. Yes, being a mom means loving those little ones, and—ya know what? I think God also wants us to love being moms. So that’s why I say it’s “a calling to love.” Kind of a play on words there.

A lot of people don’t view motherhood the way God does, do they?

I remember a time when I was really successful in my twenties! My husband and I owned a radio station and a marketing agency. We had a monthly magazine I edited and wrote for. Ah, well, to the point: I wasn’t putting my calling as a wife and mom first. My best energy went into my career. Now, I had friends who gave their best energy to their family and God and were able to work and balance it. But not many, honestly. It’s a struggle for a lot of us. Am I right?

Well, God convicted me that I was not—as they say—balancing it well. I was not prioritizing my children with the best of my energy, time, and well, my heart. So, I traded that slim computer bag—ah, actually it was back in the day, it was just a briefcase. (We weren’t carrying our computer bags around yet!) I traded that briefcase and my pencil skirts and blazers in for sweatpants and staying at home. Best decision I ever made.

Within weeks, my Robby who was maybe four or five at the time began calling me “Mama!” Said it sassy like that! But this sort of pet-name was a sweet reminder that he was feeling closer to me. He was feeling loved. I’d make that decision again! Even if sometimes I didn’t feel like one of those “fabulous women” Laura mentioned a moment ago! Now to be fair, I did eventually transition back into working two days a week. That was a balance for my family that kept my heart in the right place and kept my head thinking!

Why did I make the change initially to stop working? Well, God actually has quite a bit to say about kids and parenting and the value of children. I started to consider all of it. Here’s our own Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth talking about a phrase in Titus chapter 2, verse 4, where it says older women are to train younger women to love their children. 

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: This word "love their children," in the Greek language in which the original text is written, is just one word. It’s a combination of two words made into one compound word.

The first word is the word philos, which is the word for friend; the second word is teknon, the word for child. It’s a person who is fond of children, a lover of children, somebody who enjoys children.

I don’t have children of my own, so I’m no expert on this subject; but I want to encourage those of you who are mothers, or are thinking about being mothers, with God’s heart for your children.

The thought of loving your children . . . there’s that concept of delighting in them. I know that a lot of mothering is like what we just read about, with feedings in the middle of the night and messes in the family van, a lot of distractions and disturbances and things that make motherhood difficult.

But I see so many mothers who lose the perspective of the fact that children really are a blessing. I can see how that can happen, and that’s why we need these times to encourage and remind each other that they really are something to be delighted in.

What does it mean to delight in your children, and how can you do that? Here are several thoughts that may be helpful to you.

The first is just the whole concept of having children—the willingness to have children, to welcome them as blessings and gifts from the Lord.

Okay, if you’re going to have the requisite “one point whatever” children, nobody’s going to bother you too much; but if you announce that you’re expecting your third or your fourth or (heaven forbid!) your fifth or sixth child, don’t you start to get the comments today? And you can get them even within the church.

Women have shared with me that it's even hard to announce that they are pregnant because they are afraid of what people are going to say—sometimes even within their own family, sometimes in their own church.

This is not the heart attitude of Scripture. Anywhere you read about children in the Scripture, or about having children, you read that this is a blessing. This is a gift; it’s a privilege.

I think of that very familiar passage in Psalm 127 that says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord” (v. 3). Listen to the words used to describe children: They’re “a heritage.” They’re “from the Lord.” “The fruit of the womb [is] a reward.” It’s a benefit. It’s something positive. “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth” (v. 4).

What would a warrior be without ammunition? He’d be powerless. He couldn’t fight the battle. Arrows are essential in the hands of a warrior. Children are essential in God’s plan and program for the propagation of the gospel and the representing of God’s heart and His way in our world.

To challenge the world's way of thinking on this front causes us to run into the selfishness and the secular ways of thinking that are just what we have bought into as a culture. I don't want to do a whole session on that here. But I do want to challenge you to be thinking about what it would mean to you to be having the attitude that welcomes children as a blessing and a gift from the Lord.

Now, delighting in your children means enjoying them, not just fulfilling your responsibility to care for them. You see, when God inspired Paul to write these words to Titus, I think He knew that most mothers were going to be responsible in taking care of their kids.

I mean, there are very few mothers, even pretty bad mothers, who don’t do the basic things that are required for their kids to survive. But I think the Lord also knew that mothers could get caught up pretty easily in the day-to-day practical responsibilities of mothering, and they might forget to really love their children; they would need to be reminded to enjoy their children, to treasure them.

Then there’s the importance of expressing your affection and your delight for your children. It’s not enough to think it or feel it. You need to say it.

Say it. Tell your children. Tell them you love them. Tell them you’re delighted with them. Tell others about them. This is the way God loves His children.

Ladies, I know this sounds so elementary, but I think when you get distracted and sidetracked with all that’s going on in life, it’s really easy to forget it. Could I just encourage you to say it often to your children?

• “I love you."
• "I’m proud of you."
• "I thank God for bringing you to our family.”

You cannot say it too many times. You can’t say it enough times. Have you said it today to your children? Say it, no matter what age they are. Don’t wait until it’s too late. You don’t know how long you have.

I lost my dad on my twenty-first birthday. And anything that was going to be said had to be said before that day.

I have a brother who was killed in a car accident at the age of twenty-two. He didn't have a long life. There was limited opportunity to say in our family the things that we thought we might have years to say.

Don’t wait until you’re standing over a casket.

Are you telling your children enough that you love them, that you delight in them? Are you affirming them verbally? “This is my beloved child with whom I am well pleased.”

Oh Lord, how I pray that you would give wisdom and grace and strength and courage and faith and joy and all that is needed for moms who are listening—moms at every season of life and taking kids through all different kinds of issues and challenges.

I know, Lord, that there are those who are caring for children with special needs and those with many children who are young and in the very wearying season of life. Lord, whatever the season, whatever the situation, I pray you'll give perspective and grace—tailor-made grace—to fulfill this calling to be a joyous mother of children.

Lord, may these moms reflect to the world what it is to have the joyful parenting heart of God—the heart He has for His children. As people look at the way Christian moms love their kids, may they get a glimpse, a picture, a reflection of how our heavenly Father loves us. I pray in Jesus' name, amen. 

Dannah: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth has been unpacking what it means to love our children. Now, she doesn’t have children of her own, and maybe you don’t either. In that message she went on to talk about ways you can still love children—nieces, nephews, the children in your church—even though you’re technically not a mom yourself, you can love children. In fact, here’s a little tease for next week’s Revive Our Hearts Weekend program. On Mother’s Day weekend, we're going to share a conversation Nancy had with a  woman who considers Nancy to be her mother, in a spiritual sense. It’s really sweet. I hope you can make it a point to listen.)

If you’d like to hear more of what Nancy shared on this topic on mothering, you’ll find a link to that recording at Revive Our Hearts.com/weekend. Just click on today’s program, “Motherhood: A Calling to Love,” and then look for a link. 

Betsy Gomez was a young wife and mom who was trying to do it all. She had a good job in marketing and communications. In her community, it was just assumed that being a professional woman was a higher priority than investing in children.

Betsy Gomez: In my country we have a three-month maternity leave. But my job needed me in two months. So I had to leave my house, and I had to go to my job earlier than I was supposed to. When I did that, I thought it was okay because I needed to maintain my job and I needed to be responsible with my projects.

I was not realizing my most important project that I just released. It was my baby. I just wanted to follow the example I saw in my mom of a hard-working mom. That situation forced my husband to spend more time in my home since he had a more flexible work. He worked as a consultant. He could choose his schedule. He used to spend more time with my little boy.

Moses Gomez: I thought if I helped in my house, I helped with our marriage.

Dannah: This is Betsy’s husband, Moisés. He had a God-given desire to serve his family. But he also knew that God had called him to lead his family and provide for his family as well.

Moses: We knew behind that situation, something wasn’t working okay.

Dannah: Because of her work schedule, Betsy had very little time to spend with her son.

Betsy: I had the opportunity to be with him on weekends because I got home very late at night or in the evening, and I was really tired. I was thinking about myself. I wasn’t thinking about my baby, and the worst part is that I wanted everybody to think that I was a perfect mom. I used to do everything that I could to let people think that everything was okay. In my heart I started feeling like I knew something was wrong.

One day I remember, I was very late at my work, and I felt like I don’t belong here. It was like in that moment I felt that was the worst place for me to be in that moment. And I thought, “Why? If I can’t be here, where?” 

Dannah: Betsy’s worries increased one day when she arrived home, saw her son, reached her arms out, and watched him run away toward his dad. He treated Betsy like a stranger.

Betsy: When I got home, my son rejected me because we didn’t have the opportunity to spend time together, like to bond.

Moses: When I saw him rejecting her, then I decided to be concerned because this is not a normal situation, because everybody told us that boys prefer mom.

Dannah: Through a series of events, Betsy and Moises found their perspective changing. They felt led by God for Betsy to leave her career and stay home. 

Betsy: It was amazing how this was impacting not just me but also my husband because he stepped up as the full provider of our house, of our home. That released me of any sense of guilt of leaving my job. So I quit my job. It was very funny because I kept on explaining to my boss the reasons I was going to quit my job, and nobody understood in my office. Like, “Betsy, you are making the worst decision in your life.”

Dannah: So is it possible for a mother to work outside the home and still keep her family a priority? Absolutely. Many moms do it all the time. But Betsy and Moisés assessed their own situation and made their decision based on where it seemed God was taking them. 

Betsy had always wanted to go into full-time ministry. Suddenly, it dawned on Betsy…

Betsy: It is so great that now I can understand that in this season of my life, God is calling me into a full-time ministry to impact the lives I care for the most, my husband and my children. And honestly, in the beginning I thought I was going to be in my house sitting down with nothing to do.

But now I understand it’s not only about cleaning or washing dishes or preparing meals or giving a bath to my boy. It’s about caring, about loving, about nurturing, about teaching my son—impacting my son with the message of Jesus Christ. I know that this ministry is going to impact a lot of lives in better ways than if I go outside my house.

Dannah: That was over a decade ago. Now Betsy and Moises have three boys and a girl. Moisés is a pastor in Dallas, Texas. And Betsy—like me—has found a better balance to work. She’s on the team of our Spanish-language ministry, Aviva Nuestros Corazones—but she does it without sacrificing her husband and children. You can hear a fuller version of their story at ReviveOurHearts.com/weekend. Click on where it says “Motherhood: A Calling to Love.” So if you are wondering if you’re prioritizing your family or your career, give it a listen.

Now, any stay-home mom will tell you: it’s not all fun, all the time. In fact, it’s often downright hard work, and usually pretty thankless!

Laura Booz has had moments where she longs for the kind of life Betsy Gomez left behind. In fact, recently she described a time when those desires surfaced. Here’s Laura.

Laura: Imagine that you’re at a conference—a big tech conference in a big fancy facility. It’s early morning and people are showing up for their first session of the day. 

Professional women are sipping their jade leaf matcha latte drinks at the complimentary tea and coffee bar, while they select a couple of strawberries and a cream cheese filled danish. They’re greeting one another and making plans to meet up for lunch. And everyone looks great. 

They’re tailored and well rested and focused as they casually check their phones for the conference schedule and find the location of their first session. They are heading into a week of professional development and networking, good food, stimulating ideas, and getting paid for it all. And the only thing that stands in their way is . . . me. 

Yup, I’m standing there in the middle of the conference center with my double stroller flanked by my kids and snacks and water bottles. My hair is in a messy bun. I’m wearing sweatpants and the world’s largest diaper bag backpack. I’ve got baby drool on my shoulder, and I’m just standing there, lost in thought. Watching these fabulous women sling their slim computer bags over their shoulders and head off to work. There are tears in my eyes, and I kind of want to run away. 

For several winters in a row our whole family trekked out to Ohio for a week-long technology conference. It was just one of those rare occasions where our whole family could participate. So while my husband connected with people and ideas that helped him grow professionally, our older kids could attend classes on robotics and 3-D printing and electronics. As if that wasn’t cool enough, the conference was also held at an indoor waterpark. 

So in-between classes we bobbed in the wave pool and slid down the waterslides. Now, my role in the whole experience was to support the troops. During the day my husband attended the conference while I took care of the kids. Every year I wholeheartedly agreed to the arrangement, but I’ll tell you what, it was not easy. 

It was not easy to feed a family of seven out of a mini-microwave for a week or to keep track of five spunky kiddos in a waterpark as a ginormous water bucket dumped water from the sky every three minutes.

It wasn’t easy to dry bathing suits and help with showers and keep the peace, usher big kids to classes, and guide the little kids from snacks to meltdowns to naps and back around again—all while making sure that none of them pulled the fire alarm. Was it privileged, yes. Full of happy memories, maybe. But was it easy, no. 

Maybe that’s why as I was hauling an overstuffed diaper bag and careening my double stroller through the conference center I just stopped in my tracks. I watched the women fill their coffee mugs and head off to their next session, and I wished God had called me to do the work they were doing. 

To be honest, there was a time when I dreamed of making it big professionally. When I was in college, I thought I could really go far. But instead, here I was doling out snacks and folding pool towels. But in that moment, God made my calling very clear. I could almost hear Him saying, keep your hands on the stroller and stay the course.

The question was, Would I obey?

One time when Jesus was talking about the cost of following Him. He said, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:62). This always makes me think of the farmer who plows the nearby fields. I would love to know how many miles that man puts on his tractor as he drives back and forth to plow, and then to fertilize, and plant, and finally harvest the same few acres of ground year after year. 

I sometimes wonder if he ever wants to leave the dirt and sweat and limitations of farm life and drive across the country instead, heading to the beach for a well-earned vacation. I mean, can you imagine how far he could travel if he logged those miles straight down the highway and not back and forth over the same plot of land?

But when a farmer commits to feeding his family, livestock, and community, he keeps his hand to the plow—mile after mile and season after season. At harvest time when the silos, wagons, wheelbarrows, freezers, and canning jars are stocked with good wholesome food, and when a plot of God’s good earth has been lovingly tended for yet another year, the farmer sees how far he has traveled, and he’s glad he stayed the course.

Listen, if you’ve put your hand to the plow of faith, don’t look back. Don’t let anything distract you from your walk with Christ, or the work He’s called you to do. Don’t grow weary in doing good. Keep at the work God has called you to do. What you’re doing matters. You will reap a harvest—a full satisfying, beautiful, God-glorifying harvest—if you don’t give up. 

These were some of my thoughts as I stood in the middle of the conference center, torn between God’s calling to support my husband and kids for the week and my momentary desire for a different path. By God’s grace, I gripped the handle bar, leaned my weight into the stroller, and wheeled it towards the room where Ryan was actually preparing to teach one of the kids’ track sessions.

If I hadn’t stayed, if I hadn’t surrendered to the will of God for me, I wouldn’t have been standing in the back of the room with a squirmy toddler to hear my husband teach a room full of enthusiastic future techies about digital sound. I wouldn’t have encouraged our children to help their daddy with his class. I wouldn’t have seen our tween daughters eyes light up about 3-D printing, or high fived our four-year-old when she slid down her first water slide, or walked hand in hand with our toddler as he explored the baby pool. My relationship with my family grew. 

God entered in when I least expected it. It was in those moments when I wrapped warm towels around my kids shivering shoulders and served them countless bags of microwavable popcorn. To be with them, to help them to thrive was wonderful. As always, a glimpse of how God must feel about being with us. 

And surprisingly, even though I wasn’t attending any thought-provoking sessions or networking or having stimulating conversations over lunch, I grew that week. I grew in character, maturity, and commitment. Mostly, I grew in awe of Jesus, who given the choice between laying His life down for us or doing something less costly, picks us. 

So here’s the thing, whether God calls us to build a career, a ministry, a home, or all of the above; whether He asks us to carry a diaper bag, a computer bag, or a tool bag; whether He asks us to keep our hand to the stroller or the microphone or the plow; whether He calls us to say the right thing, do the right thing, or think the right thing; we’ll all wrestle with obedience from time to time. We won’t always see the benefit of doing things His way. We’ll need His help to pray, “Not my will but Thine be done.” And we will need to remember that no matter what, He will never leave us or forsake us. 

For the record, any woman who’s committed to loving God and people is never going to go as far as she thought she could go in life. None of us will achieve self-actualization or maximize our potential, not the way we define it anyway. I say, let the tears fall, because the truth of the matter is that when we say “yes” to God, we may go half the distance but we’ll go twice as far. 

Dannah: Laura Booz is the host of a podcast from Revive Our Hearts called Expect Something Beautiful. As you can tell, she’s a wonderful storyteller with a heart for the things of God.

Well, if being a mom seems like a thankless, unremarkable job, remember this: God can do remarkable things through unremarkable people who make themselves available to Him. And raising little ones in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is no small task. It’s truly a great calling, a worthy calling. 

So Mom, thank you for what you’re doing. Don’t grow weary. Don’t lose heart. Stick with it! Love your children. Love your husband. And keep looking to Jesus, each step of the way.

We’d like to send you a book that tells the stories of ten women used powerfully by God. They considered themselves unremarkable women. But God had remarkable things in store for them. The title of the book is (Un)Remarkable, with Un- in parentheses. (Un)remarkable: Ten Ordinary Women Who Impacted Their World for Christ. It’s our gift to you in appreciation for your donation of any amount to Revive Our Hearts. In addition, we’ll also include instructions for how you can download a digital copy of Volume 2, which is coming out at a later date. 

Again, we’ll thank you for your donation by sending you the physical book (Un)remarkable Volume 1, along with a way to download the digital copy of Volume 2.

To give to Revive Our Hearts, just visit ReviveOurHearts.com, or call us at 1-800-569-5959. Be sure to request (Un)Remarkable with your donation.  

Be sure to tune in to our daily radio program and podcast Revive Our Hearts. Emily Jensen and Laura Wifler will share how the gospel affects our roles as moms. They’ll talk about what they call “risen motherhood.” 

Hey, have you ever watched or listened to Grounded? Every Monday morning Erin Davis, Portia Collins, and myself go live with a videocast to give you hope and perspective from God’s Word. And every Wednesday, we release it as a podcast. I hope you’ll join us at 9 a.m. Eastern on YouTube or Facebook. Just look up Revive Our Hearts and you can watch Grounded in real time.

Thanks for listening today. Go love on a kid right now!

I’m Dannah Gresh. We’ll see you next time, for Revive Our Hearts Weekend.

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