Remembering What Matters Most

This program contain portions from the following episodes:
 

"The Life of Jeannie Elliff, Part 1"

"Remembering Vonette Bright, Day 4"

"A Life Well-Lived: Cindy Rast"

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Dannah Gresh: Death is a difficult topic to swallow. It doesn’t often make sense to us. But here’s Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth with an important reminder. 

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: God sees the beginning and the end and everything in-between. But all we can see is this tiny, little present moment that hurts so badly! Our individual stories—our pains, our losses—they are part of a much bigger story. What we see now is not the whole story.

Dannah: Welcome to Revive Our Hearts Weekend. I’m Dannah Gresh. 

Okay, so let’s pretend you’re thumbing through the stories on my instagram and you come to one with a picture of me looking at you curiously. Never mind my hair up in a clip and my sweatshirt. I didn’t fuss for you; I just want to take a poll.

Do you want the next story to be about a funeral I just attended? Or an invitation to my farm for a pig roast par-tay?

Your choice matters because what you see next—like everything on social media—will color your day!

So . . . feast or funeral?

Well, I can tell you what my answer would be. Pig roast! 

But, here’s what it should be. Ecclesiastes 7:2 reads:

It is better to go to the house of mourning
than to go to the house of feasting,
for this is the end of all mankind,
and the living will lay it to heart.

God’s Word says it’s better to go to a funeral. Why is that? Well, death has a way of stopping us in our tracks. Even if we barely knew the person, a loss of life is a shock to our system. 

Time seems to freeze. We pull our loved ones closer. Suddenly the argument with your spouse about the dishes doesn’t matter. Your overwhelmingly full inbox takes a back seat. Death reframes our perspective, reminding us that this life is not all there is. It’s an odd thought—how life can end in the blink of an eye. A sobering reality. And while it’s not a comfortable topic to dwell on, it leads us to think about how we’re living. Are we living every day with purpose? Will we get to the end of our lives and wonder if we lived well? What will others remember about us? 

So, here’s my invitation, choose the funeral with me today. I want to take you to not one, but three, funerals. And I promise, it’s going to help you remember what matters most. Because, I don’t know about you, but sometimes I get amnesia!

First up in our funeral procession is Vonette Bright. You may know her as the co-founder of Campus Crusade for Christ, now called Cru. Vonette was a great friend and mentor to Nancy, and she lived eighty-nine years in this life before she transitioned to her heavenly home for all eternity. 

Memorial services are powerful because they can tell you a lot about a person’s life. Let’s listen to some comments of different people sharing at Vonette’s memorial service, and I think you’ll get a good picture of the kind of woman she was. Starting off is one of her sons, Zachary, who shared this about his mother.

Zachary Bright: I loved her. She loved me. She loved everyone. My mother was a person who found that things did not always come easily for her. She needed to go through a process. So she could understand people like me, who go through a process.

I remember, during a time of doubt and great difficulty, she said to me, "Never doubt in the darkness what you've seen in the light." She got that from Henrietta Mears. And she also got this verse, which was one of Dr. Mears' favorite verses and was also one of my mother's favorite verses: "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Ps. 37:4).

That's the story of my mother's life: She delighted herself in the Lord, and she got more than she could have ever imagined.

Crawford Loritts: I'm Crawford Loritts, and I serve on the Board of Cru. We recognize people for their accomplishments, but we honor people for what they sacrifice on behalf of others. There are a lot of great people who have accomplished an awful lot, but there are relatively few who have given themselves up for a greater cause and for other people.

That's what Vonette was all about. She loved people.

Judy Douglass: I have had the privilege of knowing and walking near Vonette for fifty years. She has been an incredible leader and an amazing mentor to me, and such a friend!

Ney Bailey: Vonette was my dear and cherished friend for fifty-four years, and I loved her dearly.

Someone has said, "In my eyes, Vonette was ten feet tall!" And in our eyes, she was definitely that–for all of us who knew her. All of us her knew her well. Rise up today and call her blessed.

Dannah: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth attended Vonette’s memorial service, and here is a bit of what she shared. 

Nancy: My dad knew Bill and Vonette Bright before he knew my mother, so I have never known life without Vonette Bright. And, thinking of the passage in Judges where it says that she was a "mother in Israel, who rose up," Vonette was a mother—a mother to so many of us in many different ways. To me, Vonette was a mother, a friend, a sister, a mentor.

How I thank the Lord for decades of phone calls, letters, visits, time spent together in prayer, and more. We've heard so much today, and so many here could add story after story of her pervasive, far-reaching, relentless influence.

As I've been listening over the last twenty-four hours to people sharing their stories, I realized that the nature of Vonette's influence was not so much through her public and grand accomplishments (significant as those were!). It was more, or at least as much, who she was off the platform, away from the public eye.

Dannah: Lastly, here’s Steve Douglass, the former president of Cru who’s now with the Lord.

Steve Douglass: When someone dies, we want to honor them, and I think that's okay. Well, honoring Vonette is really easy! I'm just going to wrap it up for you—it's really, really easy. 

Point 1: Follow her example as she followed the example of Jesus Christ.

Point 2: Maybe implement at least some of the things that she would exhort you to do. That's how we can honor Vonette Bright!

Dannah: Vonette Bright certainly made a lasting impact both on a larger scale, and personally in the lives of those around her. How special to hear some of those reflections at her memorial service. 

You know, what others share at funerals is a good indicator of the things that mattered the most to a person (case in point, what you just heard about how Vonette Bright conducted her life).

Have you thought about what others might share at your funeral? Maybe something to consider as we move onto our second funeral. 

In fact, let’s move onto our second funeral: a time celebrating the beautiful life of Cindy Rast. Cindy was a friend of Revive Our Hearts and she and her husband, Joel, spent time serving as missionaries in São Paulo, Brazil. Cindy went to be with the Lord after a difficult battle with brain cancer. We’re going to hear snippets from her loved ones, including her father, brother, friend, and daughter at her memorial service. Beginning is her dad, Pastor Ronald Lord.

Pastor Ronald Lord: Cindy brought a lot of joy into our hearts, a lot of love, and a lot of memories—really good memories. Cindy had the joy of the Lord up to the very last. She never complained, but she knew that this was all part of God’s will and God’s plan for her life. Well, memories are wonderful. Proverbs 10:7 says, “The memory of the righteous is a blessing,” and I have a blessing because I have memories of a righteous daughter!

Greg: Cindy was one of a kind. Even though we lived thousands of miles apart, we were still close. She and I had many conversations over the years, and this was one thing about Cindy: she was always quick to listen and slow to speak.

Even when she was undergoing treatment these past four years, she was always concerned about me. Even with the pain, stress, anxiety, and fear of the unknown, Cindy knew ultimately what was important in her life—it’s to love God with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself.

Julie Fawcett: To be a friend of Cindy’s is to laugh—a lot!—until your sides hurt, and you think you can’t laugh anymore . . . and then to laugh some more! To be a friend of Cindy’s is to have a sister and a mentor all in one.

I don’t think Cindy ever intentionally set out to mentor me, but purely through her spiritual maturity and the model of her life, she became my accidental mentor.

Grace: You never left her house hungry or feeling unheard. She took care of and mothered everyone within arm’s reach. I can’t even begin to count the number of people who have told me that my mom was a surrogate mother to them!

Dannah: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth was also asked to speak at Cindy’s funeral. In her sharing, she explains more about that verse I talked about at the beginning, from Ecclesiastes—why it’s better to go to the house of mourning. Here’s Nancy.

Nancy (speaking at Cindy Rast’s memorial service): A verse came to mind as I was thinking about just the things we’ve been hearing today, and the picture that has emerged as I’ve heard so many stories about Cindy’s life. Ecclesiastes 7:1 says that, “A good name is better than fine perfume.”

We’ve heard about this good name in the stories that have been told, the eulogies given, the reminders, the memories—a good name. And that name is like fine perfume. There’s a fragrance about a true woman of God that impacts all of us! 

I love that part of the verse, but then the second part of the verse and the one that follows it are the ones that I find maybe not so easy: 

A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth. It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind , and the living [that’s us] will [take] it to heart. (Ecclesiastes 7:1–2)

What does that mean, and what would God’s word be for us—the living—knowing the testimony and the beauty of the life of his precious woman?

What is it for us to take heart today? Why is death better than birth? This seems counterintuitive. It’s not the way we would have written that verse . . . because death is not what God intended. It’s not what He designed, it’s not what He created. It actually is an enemy! And that’s why we grieve. Even as believers in Jesus we grieve the loss of this precious sister!

The story that God has written for Cindy’s life is not the story any of us would have written. Fifty/fifty-one years old . . . all of this seems wrong, untimely. It’s not the script we would have written for her! And isn’t it true that often God’s story for our lives and the lives of those we love is not the script, not the story, that we would have written?

At times, on this broken, fallen, prodigal earth, we experience heartache, loss, disappointment, pain, and unfulfilled longings. But I love the reminders throughout Scripture that God is not indifferent to our sufferings.

You see, as we look at the stories that God is writing in our lives, in our homes, in the lives of those we love, perspective makes all the difference in the world, doesn’t it? God sees the beginning and the end and everything in-between. But all we can see is this tiny, little present moment that hurts so badly!

And we realize as we soak in the Word of God, that our individual stories—our pains, our losses—they are part of a much bigger story. What we see now is not the whole story. If we could only see what God sees—and today, what Cindy sees—if we could only know what God knows—and what Cindy now knows—don’t you think our hearts would be at peace?

Dannah: Isn’t that such a comforting reminder from Nancy? Even in the face of death, we have such hope and joy through Christ. This life is not the end. 

Now, in the last funeral today, we’re going to hear about Jeannie Elliff, a longtime friend of Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. She went to be with the Lord in 2015. She served in ministry alongside her husband, Tom Elliff, and for a time, they were missionaries in Zimbabwe, Africa. As we listen to pieces of Jeannie’s memorial service, I think you’ll be encouraged by her faithfulness to God. Let’s listen to portions of tributes from her children: Jon, Beth, Amy, and Sarah. 

Jon: There are a thousand reasons why we love our mother and wife and aunt and pastor's wife, but I wanted to share the one foundational thing that she gave to me . . . and everything—literally everything—in my life hinges on this grace that my mother gave to me.

In 2 Timothy 1 Paul says to Timothy, "I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice" (v. 5). I can think of no other passage that better describes my life, my experience, my relationship with my mom, than right there in 2 Timothy 1.

Theologians have a phrase to describe the human element of the activity of God. It's called "the means of grace." We know that God, and God alone, saves people. God and God alone sanctifies people and changes people and moves people. However, because He is gracious and because He is loving and kind, He includes us in His plan.

He includes our obedience and our prayers and our activity in His plan. He uses these things to draw His people in. He uses a guy handing out a tract to a waitress to save that waitress. He uses a faithful neighbor who's not ashamed of the gospel to save somebody.

He uses obedient coworkers and faithful preachers and true praise and persistent prayer. He uses even the activity of a church, faithfully carrying out the truth and the ordinances of the church. These are all called the "means of grace."

But perhaps the most effective and efficient means of grace is a faithful mom. That's what this passage is saying—a woman of faith, investing hundreds of thousands of hours into her children. When Scripture says 'faith" there, it's not talking about this generic leap into ambiguity that American Christianity has come to define. This is talking about simply taking God at His Word, believing Him, obeying Him, building your life on His clear, discrete, understandable, written Word.

Beth: In the Book of 2 Corinthians, 3:18 says, "[We] are being transformed into the same image, from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit."

My mom would tell me when I was growing up, and mainly in my teen years, you become like the ones you hang around—and that's pretty much the reality of her life. She spent her time with Jesus and pretty much just became like Him.

Nehemiah 8:10, "The joy of the Lord is my strength." Because my mom was so constantly in the Word of God, getting His perspective, she could enjoy things and she loved to laugh.

Psalm 104:33, "I will sing to the Lord as long as I live; I will praise my God to my very last breath." Because she trusted the Lord and believed God's intentions for her were good, she could sing, and music was always playing in our house or the car. It was usually really loud. Even last week all of her grandchildren gathered and sang with her. She sang—a small whisper, but it was a song.

First Peter 5:7: "Casting all of your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you." Because my mom would pour out her heart to her heavenly Father daily, she began to have a love for listening to others the way that her heavenly Father listened to her. I know you have experienced this as well. When you came and talked to her, you just felt like you were the only person in the whole world, because she would listen so deeply to you.

The most important decision my mom ever made in her whole life was to give her heart to Jesus. This made all the difference, because from that point on, her life pointed us to Jesus. 

Amy: She was humble, but that's why we all adored her so. She was authentic and sensible and balanced, and helped to stabilize us—and especially Dad. She was approachable. Mom didn't want to be special or the center of attention, but that's why we all wanted to be around her.

She was quiet, she listened, and it was important to tell Mom. It was important to tell her things. The day Momma died, I sat and told her about my children, and I told her about that ivy I had planted from her garden. I shared prayer requests the kids had asked me to give her to pray when she went to heaven.

It was important to tell these things to Mom. All my life Mom rejoiced with me. She wept with me. But mostly, she prayed for me and our family—and so many others. My beautiful momma walked before me and she laid down footprints for me, to know how to live and love.

Sarah: Through the years of chemo treatments, scars, pain, nausea, and great suffering my mother still pointed us to God's Word, which says, "For to you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him but also to suffer for His sake."

So, for the beautiful way my mother glorified Christ through her suffering, I praise the Almighty God! Just a few days ago, on July 20, my precious mother took her last breath. But Jesus says,

I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies. And whoever lives and believes in me will never die. (John 11:25–26 paraphrased)

And so, for my mother's resurrection, I praise the Almighty God! And Daddy, someday soon—the Bible says:

For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds and meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord. (1 Thess. 4:16–17)

So, for the beautiful promise of reuniting with my mother, I praise the Almighty God!

Dannah: What a beautiful picture of Jeannie Elliff’s life her children as painted by her children.

As we’ve seen today, while we face the pain and sting of death, we are not without hope. As Paul said in 1 Thessalonians chapter 4, verse 13: 

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, concerning those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve like the rest, who have no hope.

We grieve, but we have hope because we know this world isn’t our home. The women we heard about today lived in light of eternity. They knew Christ and their lives showed it. They gave their lives to following Him and making His name known. They had hope and joy because they knew they would be going to their heavenly home. 

So, how do you feel after out little funeral procession? Are you starting to get a sense that it truly is better to go to the house of mourning than the house of feasting? Have these funerals given you some perspective of what really matters? Have you taken inventory to really know how you are living today in light of eternity? 

My friend Colleen Chao is someone who’s doing that so well. Colleen has stage four cancer. She has faced suffering that could have crushed her, but instead, that suffering led her to discover a deep joy because of the eternal reality of living with Christ forever. 

In fact, she wrote a book, a devotional with thirty-one day's worth of wisdom and hope for times of suffering. It’s titled, In the Hands of a Fiercely Tender God. You can get it right now when you give a donation of any amount to Revive Our Hearts. It’s our way to thank you for supporting this ministry. I know it will be an encouragement to you. You can give a gift by calling 1-800-569-5959, or go to ReviveOurHearts.com/weekend and click on today’s episode. 

Next weekend we’ll be celebrating when Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey. The triumphal entry. He was being praised by many. And he said something interesting about their praise that we’re going to camp out on next week. He said, “If they don’t praise me, then the stones will cry out.” What a fascinating statement. Well, we’ll spend next weekend on our program praising God with Scripture, songs, and prayer. I hope you’ll join us for that.

Thanks for listening today. I’m Dannah Gresh. We’ll see you next time for Revive Our Hearts Weekend.

Revive Our Hearts Weekend is calling you to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

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