What “Yes, Lord” Looks Like

Dannah Gresh: Often a life of surrender means letting God write a different story for us than we would write for ourselves.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: I want to say: God is good, and He can be trusted to write your story. He can be trusted to write the script for your life. And whatever God writes for your life and for mine—looking back, looking forward—the script God writes, the story God is writing, is a good story. It's a beautiful one!

Dannah: “God is writing a good story.” That’s such a beautiful promise to cling to. It’s a good thing to let God hold the pen, to entrust the writing of our stories to Him. I think so many of us know this in our heads. Saying “yes, Lord” sounds great in theory, and we know it’s the right thing to do. But I wonder how many of us struggle to actually let go of the pen in our hands, to let go of control. Today, we’re asking the question, what does saying “Yes, Lord” actually look like? How do we live a life of real, everyday surrender and entrust our stories to the Lord?

Well, Dan and Melissa Jarvis have been living this kind of surrendered life in their home for a long time. Dan is pastor of Berrien Center Bible Church and he's the content strategist for us here at Revive Our Hearts. He and Melissa have adopted six children through foster care. Their time with the foster care system meant lots of opportunities to say “yes, Lord,” even when that “yes” was really hard to give.

Dan likes to refer to these hard “yes-es” as “faith frontiers.” There are times God asks us to go somewhere or do something that we never dreamed of. It’s like forging a path through uncharted territory, and it can feel overwhelming. But Dan and Melissa are here to tell us that there’s goodness waiting for us on these faith frontiers, if only we’ll just keep saying “yes.” Let’s listen to a piece of their story now.

Dan Jarvis: There are so many aspects of my life today and our life together as a family that, if we would have given up in the moment when it felt like . . . If where you go ahead and follow your heart and do what you feel, then that moment comes where I might give up. If we did, we would be missing so much of life.

Even in some of the really difficult fostering scenarios that we were part of where kids didn’t stay with us, even in those times . . . I remember one specifically where a child had been with us for two years, one we loved as our own. Emotionally, we really believed that he was going to be with us forever.

We thought that was where the courts would take it, and they didn’t go that way. So from infancy through two years old, he was with us, and then he got taken out of our home. That was devastating. It was like losing a child—only without any sort of justice or finality at the end of it.

Melissa Jarvis: I really wanted to give up. I just wanted to say, “We’re never doing this again. We’re never saying ‘yes’ again.” And yet, God had a plan. If we had said at that point, “We are never doing this again,” we wouldn’t have some of the children in our home today right now.

Dan: It was just a few weeks later, actually, from that time, when we were literally thinking, Okay, we’re done with this. We just can’t handle this anymore, that they called. Even they recognized they were calling us, the foster parent agency, like it wasn’t really the right thing to do because we were still grieving.

Melissa: They even apologized for calling.

Dan: Right. But this particular child’s special needs that they had just received in their care, we were the only people in their foster network that had experience with that type of thing. So they said, “Is there any way you would engage with us?” We had to step right back into the same scenario that we had just lost.

Now that child, actually, was one that we adopted. He’s one of our kids today. So we think, Wow! That was such a close call. Just in one moment of selfishness, or one moment of, “Let’s take a break from what we know God wants us to do, and we’ll just do our own thing for a while and come back to this later.” We would have missed one of the greatest joys of our life, which is that child.

So there was heartbreak, but it was followed by amazing opportunity. So I would say to the question of: How do you keep resolved if that’s where you’re at as an individual? Believe that God has something in store for you as you cross that next frontier.

Yes, you want to turn back. Yes, it looks easier back where you came from. But this is a life of faith. Your trust isn’t in what you can see. It’s not in the circumstances around you or even in your feelings. Your trust is in the fact that God is taking you somewhere that He wants you to go. You may not know how it all works out for a while. Maybe you won’t even know until eternity. But, again, this is the life of faith, to follow Christ wherever He calls us.

Melissa: I was going to say to the person who’s wanting to give up and to quit: I’ve actually been there many times. I’ll call Dan and say, “I want to quit. I just want to quit. Can you come home? I want to quit.”

I think the practical thing to do is that you just need to take a break. Take your Bible somewhere and pray and get away from the scenario for a time and just get on your knees before God and say, “I need Your help. I need Your strength. I can’t do this on my own.”

Sometimes it’s even just actually physically getting away. Like, taking an hour or two, or doing something totally away from your family. I think that’s healthy for moms to get that break and just to come back full at it afterwards.

I need to do that more in my life sometimes because I just get burned out. I need to get refilled up with God just implanting in my heart, “This is your job. This is what I’ve called you to do.”

Sometimes when that actually happens, I have more energy to keep going, and I feel a lot happier about it because I don’t want to quit. I want to keep going because I know this is making my Father’s heart happy that I’m just resolved in what I’m doing. It’s making my faith stronger so that when the next time I want to quit, I might think, I don’t need to yet because God’s on my side.

Dannah: Yes, God is for us. That was Dan and Melissa Jarvis, offering us some sweet and practical encouragement for when saying “yes, Lord” feels overwhelming. This clip is from a series of episodes on Revive Our Hearts called "Faith Frontiers." Nancy sat down with this precious couple to talk about a heart posture of surrender in foster care and ministry. We’ll link to that series in the transcript of today’s program so you can find those episodes as well.

You know, sometimes surrender means saying “yes” to a new faith frontier, like Dan and Melissa have done for so many times. It’s setting out into uncharted territory and braving the unknown with courage because the Lord does know. But other times, surrender means saying “yes” to staying right where you are, even if that’s a place or circumstance you wouldn’t choose.

These times of waiting on the Lord can require just as much faith as facing the unknown. This was Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth’s experience as she trusted the Lord in the midst of prolonged singleness. She’ll be the first to tell you that God was writing a beautiful story for her life when he asked her to remain single for longer than she’d planned. The Lord taught her so much about surrender through that time. Here she is to encourage those of you who might be in a similar place today.

Nancy: You see, when we're little girls, we think what we would like the script of our lives to be like. And that's why little girls raised on Disney and Disney princesses, for so many the longing is for marriage, and a certain kind of marriage, and a certain kind of romantic relationship, and certain dreams.

But for you, the dreams may have been different. You had this vision for your life. You had this script you hoped it would follow. And maybe from the time you were a little girl, it was off-script. It didn't unfold the way you hoped it would or thought it would. Maybe you thought you'd get married and have six children, and you got married and found out you couldn't have any children.

It's the maybes. It's the you-thoughts. It's the we-thoughts. It's, "I had this script for my life. I thought my kids were going to turn out this way. I thought my marriage was going to turn out this way. I thought my health would turn out this way."

But it's turned out really to be different than anything you ever dreamed. And I want to say: God is good, and He can be trusted to write your story. He can be trusted to write the script for your life. And whatever God writes for your life and for mine—looking back, looking forward—the script God writes, the story God is writing is a good story. It's a beautiful one!

Romans 12:2 tells us, "The will of God is good and acceptable and perfect." I've often said (it's been attributed to me, but it's not original with me, and I don't know who said it originally): "The will of God is exactly what I would choose if I knew what God knows." I love the quote!

The will of God is good. God can be trusted. You can trust God to write the story for your life.

Joy comes not from writing our own story or having the story go as we would have scripted it. Joy comes from saying, "Yes, Lord," to whatever story He writes for our lives!

Psalm 84:11 tells us: "The LORD God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly.” (KJV) And let me say, by the way, nobody can walk uprightly apart from Christ, who is our righteousness, right? That's not saying, "If you don't have a husband, therefore, you must not be a good enough person."

That's not what it's saying at all. It's saying, "Those whose faith is in Christ—who lean on Him, who look to Him, who count on Him for their righteousness—God will not withhold one good or needful thing from you.” 

And in the meantime, He will be to you a sun and a shield. He will be your warmth. He will be your protection. He will be your covering. He will be your energy. He will give grace, and He will give glory.

The woman who longs to be married, who has this unfulfilled longing for marriage, is not relegated to spend her life in misery, in despair, being discouraged, being downcast. She has a sun. She has a shield. She has grace. She has glory. And she has the assurance that not one good or needful thing will God withhold from her life.

Now, in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, the apostle Paul talks about this whole issue of marriage and singleness, and a few other related things. He says that both marriage and singleness are a gift, both are a calling, both have blessings and benefits, and both have challenges.

Marriage and singleness are both a calling from God. "Let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him and to which God has called him . . . In whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God." (see 1 Cor. 7:17, 24)

Marriage and singleness, in their time and in their place as God unfolds the story, as God unfolds the script, they are a calling. They are, if I can say it, an assignment from the Lord. Now, not an assignment in the sense . . . Robert doesn't want to hear me say, "I've been assigned by God to marry you." (laughter)

He'd like to know that I love him and that I really do want to marry him—and I do. But there's another sense in which I realize that my love for him is in response to an assignment and a calling I've received from the Lord. And my heart is to say, “Yes, Lord!” My heart was to say, “Yes, Lord,” as a single woman; my heart is to say, “Yes, Lord,” as a married woman. It’s a calling.

Human nature, our tendency, is to want a different calling than the one we have! It’s to want to be in a different place, in a different pasture, in a different field, in a different condition than the place the Lord has assigned to us.

And so the exhortation Paul gives in 1 Corinthians 7 is to remain where God has placed you—until God changes your calling. And if He does, then you go with joy and contentment into that new calling!

Dannah: That’s Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, reminding us that we can trust God to write our stories. There are so many truths in that message for us to cling to when surrender is hard. And it will be hard sometimes, but you know what? Nancy’s life is proof that remaining gladly where God has placed us can also be beautiful and fruitful for the kingdom. We’ll find joy there when we surrender our plans and entrust them to the better storywriter. 

We've talked about adoption, we're talked about singleness. Now, these are types of life-changing surrender, aren't they? I don't know about you, but as hard as the hard things are, there's also a sense of epic courage in them that empowers you. So often people see the big stuff in life and they applaud you. But what about everyday surrender? What about when you don't feel like going to work? Or doing the laundry? Or showing up for what's on your Google calendar? What does surrender look like when your get up and go has got up and gone? How do you say, "Yes, Lord," when you just don't feel like it?

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First, let me make something clear, there's nothing wrong with a day off. In fact, God prescribes it for each of us with something we call Sabbath rest. You, my friend, were created for a rhythm of rest and soul care. But here's where we need to be careful.

The world will tell you that all the little yeses are going to lead you to burnout, that hard things can be traumatizing if you just don't sprinkle in enough self-care. And while I believe in taking care of ourselves, I also think that self-care can sabotage surrender if we're not carefully listening to God's wisdom and direction on how we approach our rhythm of work and rest.

We've got to be careful to check in with God and other wise advisors in our life when we feel like saying no to opportunities God places in our lives. Those opportunities might be everyday things—preparing for Bible study or making a meal for your family, showing up for work. In those everyday things, we must have a mindset of "Yes, Lord," a heart of surrender.

I've seen this in my own life recently. You see, a few weeks ago, I was scheduled to teach in chapel at Grace Prep, the high school my husband founded. I've got to be honest with you; I did not feel like it. Bob has been battling long COVID for almost a year. The weight of extra responsibilities at home, at the ministry we lead, just the sheer overload of it has left me tired.

That morning standing in my kitchen, I wanted to say, "Not today, Lord." I even considered who I'd call to take my place teaching. I mean, what could it hurt to phone it in for just one day. It was just a regularly scheduled chapel, nothing special, routine, mundane. I wouldn't be missed, and I really do need some extra rest right now. Maybe it'd be okay not to show up on a Monday for my regular routine, but I checked in with the Lord, and I checked in with Bob, my husband, and we both sensed this is an assignment from the Lord.

You see, I knew that God had been teaching me some really valuable lessons from this season of hardship, stuff I hope I'm faithful to pass it on. And so, I surrendered. I said, "Yes, Lord, to just something I didn't feel like doing. I showed up, and I asked God to give me the grace to do what He had put before me that day. And friend, He did.

Now, I've got to be honest with you, I cried at the beginning of the chapel, and I'm not a crier. This student body knows that, so that got their attention. I was honest about the condition of my heart, my body, my mind. I told them I'm weak, but God has put something on my heart to share with you.

Now, it wasn't my best teaching, but I shared my burden for God to revive my heart, here in this place of weakness. I shared my burden for God to revive my heart and the conviction that He really does bring revival. I shared how I long to see revival, not just in my heart, but in our school, in my church, in my community, and how we do see it happening in the world, in little wonderful pockets here and there. I long to be in the room where it's happening.

Then I said that revival doesn't happen where everything's going okay, where we don't have a need. And revival doesn't often happen in the face of disasters and epic life upsets, because the human spirit usually steps up in those. Revival tends to begin where there's discontent, discouragement, and disappointment. Those ingredients, they make us dependent. If someone gets dependent enough, they stop trying to control it all, and they just say, "Okay, God, let's do it Your way. What do You want me to say 'yes' to today?"

On that day in chapel, I just explained how I'm kind of getting to that place. Now, I want you to know this was high school students, not my peers, who are worn out for caretaking and homemaking and work. But they got it. These students, they got it. They too don't feel like showing up some days. They don't always feel like saying, "Yes, Lord," but they do hunger for God to show up. I could see it in their eyes.

Now, not only was I able to teach with relevance out of my dependence on Him, but since then, there's been a small remnant of students gathering. Listen to this: every Monday morning, every Wednesday morning, every Friday morning, they're getting up early before school to gather, and they're praying for one thing. They're praying that revival would come.

One mom told me it may be near the end of the school year, but my son says, "Lord, please bring it this year." He wants it to happen this year. He's dependent. He's hungry.

Friends, I've got to tell you, I had no idea God could use my burnout to plant a hunger for revival in high school students, but H e did. That's what happens when we make it a habit to check in with God about even what seems to be our regular stuff. We say, "Yes, Lord," even in the regular things, even when we don't feel like it. The thing you don't feel like doing today, that may be the very thing God uses to bless someone or to start revival.

Maybe today you need that reminder. Maybe you need to hear these words from Isaiah 41:10. Let me read them to you.

Fear not, for I am with you;
   be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
   I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Listen to me. You do not have to rely on your own strength when life feels like too much. You don't have to feel like it. You just have to say, "Yes, Lord." Also, may I add, "Lord, strengthen me with Your righteous right hand. Because on the other side of Your obedience, God is moving in ways you can't even see, not yet."

So keep surrendering, friend, even in the small stuff. Those everyday yeses, they just might lead to something bigger than you've ever imagined.

Song:

Have Thine own way, Lord, have Thine own way.
Thou art the potter, I am the clay.
Mold me and make me after Thy will;
While I am waiting, yielded and still.

Have thine own way, Lord, have Thine own way.
Search me and try me, Master today.
Whiter than snow, Lord, wash me just now; 
As in Thy presence, humbly I bow.

Have Your way in me;
Every thought, every longing, for Thee.
Move my heart, search my soul to be yours alone;
Have Your way in me.

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Dannah: I hope you’ll keep exploring the topic of surrender and maybe even ask yourself, “What does ‘Yes, Lord’ look like in my life?” To help you answer this question, we’re offering a copy of Nancy’s book called Surrender: The Heart God Controls to anyone who donates to support Revive Our Hearts this month. This can be a donation of any amount. Surrender is a wonderful book for making the surrendered life practical. In fact, there’s a whole chapter about just that! Ask for a copy of Nancy’s book when you donate at ReviveOurHearts.com, and we’ll be sure to send that your way.

Song:

Have Thine own way, Lord, have Thine own way;
Hold o'er my being absolute sway.
Fill with Thy Spirit, 'til all shall see;
Christ only always, living in my.

Have Your way in me;
Every thought, every longing, for Thee.
Move my heart, search my soul to be yours alone;
Have Your way in me.

Lord, have Your way in me;
Every thought, every longing, for Thee.
Move my heart, search my soul to be yours alone;
Have Your way in me.¹

Dannah: Next weekend is Palm Sunday, the day we remember Christ’s triumphal entry into Jerusalem. As we look ahead to Holy Week, we’re going to focus on clothes—the clothes Jesus wore, and how His death affects the clothes you and I wear. I hope you’ll join us next week.

Thanks for listening today. I’m Dannah Gresh. We’ll see you next time for Revive Our Hearts Weekend.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

¹ “Have Thine Own Way.” Erica Boutwell. Called Your Own. EP ℗ 2015 Erica Boutwell.

*Offers available only during the broadcast of the podcast season.